Maybe reasoning would soften the edges, seeing that deep breathing hadn’t done the trick.
She was deceiving him for everybody’s sake.
His, Hana’s, her mother’s and her own.
She’d been over this ground so many times it was a familiar route. It was ironic how that casual conversation Luke had had with Sam yesterday was always her starting point.
Because one of those French sailors, intrigued by the history of the island, had been her father.
He’d come here, fallen in love with both the islands and her mother, and they had married and built a house on Atangi—the main island of this group. Her father, Stefan, had planned to create a premium tourist destination where people could come and sail and dive. It would bring money in to the islands and allow him to do what he loved most for the rest of his life.
He’d missed his homeland, though, and he’d taken Vailea and baby Anahera back to France for an extended visit to meet his family. They’d lived on the outskirts of Paris for three months.
‘It was so cold,’ her mother always said. ‘And I couldn’t speak the language. Even with you and Stefan there, it was the loneliest time. I wanted to be with him but part of me was slowly dying.’
They’d come back to the islands but things had changed. The islands were a place for a holiday for Stefan now and they couldn’t be real life. Heartbroken, her parents had finally agreed they had to live apart. Vailea would visit Paris once a year in summer and Stefan would come to Atangi during the French winters. He’d never made it, even once, however, because he’d died after a diving mishap that had given him a fatal dose of the bends.
The first-hand knowledge of the heartbreak that trying to live in different worlds could produce was a sound starting point, wasn’t it? Anahera had lived in Brisbane where the climate was far more like her homeland than London could ever be, but she’d ended up miserable and homesick. When she thought of London, it was always grey and people had to wear thick clothing and carry umbrellas all the time. Had she really thought—in those heady weeks of being so utterly in love—that she could have gone to live in London with Luke?
It could never have worked.
Hana would have to go there, though, if he knew he was her father. He would, quite rightfully, expect to be able to spend extended time with his daughter and, with his career, it wasn’t likely that he could take time off to visit a remote part of the Pacific at regular intervals.
It was too easy to imagine the worst-case scenario. Arguments about schooling that might lead to a battle not to have Hana sent to an English boarding school. A taste of a different life that might lead to her teenage daughter deciding she would rather live full time with her father in a place that offered so much more in terms of social life and excitement.
Maybe it was the fear of loss that was the real driving force in this deception.
And, if she was completely honest, Anahera didn’t want to share her precious daughter with the man who had broken her heart. He didn’t deserve to have the unconditional love that this amazing little girl with the biggest heart in the world gave so freely.
Did that make her a bad person?
If it did, Anahera had decided long ago that she would live with the guilt of being one.
How much easier had that burden been to carry when Luke had been just a memory? Having him here in person was so much worse.
Unbearable even.
And now she had to spend a whole day in his company?
She had to press a hand to her belly as another knife-like cramp took hold.
‘Ana?’ Sam’s voice floated through the doorway. ‘Jack’s all set and Luke’s already at the helipad.’ He came through the door just as Anahera straightened her back and summoned all her willpower to ignore the pain. ‘Let me carry that bin for you.’
* * *
Getting a bird’s-eye view of the islands from the cockpit of a helicopter was so much more spectacular than the limited scope of a small plane’s window.
Luke was sitting in the front beside Jack and he had a grin on his face. ‘Look at that...the sea’s so clear you can just about see the coral in the reef. And the fish...’
‘Gorgeous, isn’t it? I never get sick of my office.’ Jack’s voice came through the headphones Luke was wearing. ‘That’s Atangi, there. The biggest island by land mass and the one that’s been settled the longest. That’s where the main schools are. It’s where you grew up, isn’t it, Ana?’
‘Yes.’ Anahera was sitting in the cabin of the helicopter, behind Luke so he couldn’t see her. ‘Until Mum started working at the hospital. We moved to the village on Wildfire after that and I took the boat to school.’
Luke hadn’t known that. What had they talked about all those years ago? Maybe he’d done too much talking and not enough listening but it was too late to start now. Anahera had barely glanced at him when she’d arrived at the helipad and he hadn’t been able to think of anything to say after a simple ‘Good morning’ because there’d been too many questions zipping through his head, starting with who looked after her daughter when she was at work and what did her husband do? And then he’d taken notice of her hands as she’d helped Jack load supplies into the chopper and he’d seen the absence of a wedding ring and that only led to more questions that he’d probably never get the chance to ask because it seemed like Anahera didn’t even want to talk to him.
He shouldn’t have let Harry and Sam talk him into extending his visit but that had been before he’d known about Anahera’s daughter. When he’d still had that vague hope that maybe he and Anahera could clear the air between them. That he would be able to finally explain...
The chance of that happening had evaporated in the shock of finding out how conclusively Anahera had already moved on with her life. Why would he want to make things harder for himself by reopening old scars?
But what if she wasn’t married? If whoever she had moved on with was no longer in her life?
No. He didn’t want to go there. Didn’t even want to think about it.
‘What’s that island?’ he asked to distract himself. ‘That round one, off to the left there. I never visited the other islands when I was here last time. I had no idea there were so many.’
‘There are a lot. Most of them are uninhabited, though. That round one is Opuru. It got evacuated after a tsunami a decade or two ago and that’s when the village on Wildfire got built. Before that, it was only the Lockharts and their house staff that lived here. The mine workers would all commute, mostly from Atangi.’
‘Where’s French Island?’
‘A bit farther out. Not as big as Atangi and not as mountainous as Wildfire. It’s got a lovely reef, though, and there’s still the wreck of the ship it was named for. Divers love it. With the sea so clear, there’s a point on one of the hills where you can see the bones of the whole ship. It’s pretty spectacular.’
‘I’d love to see that.’
‘I could show you,’ Jack said. ‘We might have time, depending on how many people turn up for the clinic, of course. I stay close, in case Ana needs a hand.’
‘I’d like to help with the clinic, too. If that’s okay, Ana.’
‘It won’t be necessary.’ Anahera’s voice was cool. ‘A lot of the people on this island don’t speak much English so I’d have to translate everything and that would just slow us down. Jack and I do this on a regular basis and we’ve never had a problem we couldn’t deal with. But thanks for the offer.’
Luke lapsed into silence as the helicopter dipped lower, heading for the landing point on French Island. The warning was clear and it was timely. If it felt like this to get a professional offer rejected, he would be wise not to make himself vulnerable on a personal level.
He wasn’t wanted. Maybe he never really had been.
* * *
&nbs
p; The patients waiting for the clinic to open were already sheltering from the sun under the spreading branches of an enormous fig tree.
Anahera could see a couple of pregnant women, mothers holding small children and a few elderly people who had family members there to support them. As she greeted everybody on the way in to open up the clinic building, she was already making a mental note of everything she would need to do. Rough bandages on limbs meant a wound that would need cleaning and dressing, possibly suturing. Her diabetic patients needed testing to make sure their blood-sugar levels were under control, either by medication or the lifestyle changes she was trying to encourage. The people with hypertension needed their blood pressure checked and, if the levels weren’t improving, she’d need to talk to them about how compliant they were being with taking their tablets.
Antenatal checks for the pregnant women were important, too, and sometimes it took a lot of persuasion to get the mothers-to-be to leave their families in order to go to the mainland to give birth. Lani was worrying her at the moment.
‘Your baby is still upside down,’ Anahera told Lani when it was her turn for a consultation. ‘I’d like you see the obstetrician when she comes to Wildfire next week. Can you come across on the boat? Like you did for the ultrasound?’
Lani’s gaze shifted to the silent, elderly woman who was sitting on a chair beside the window, and she lowered her voice. ‘There’s no one else to care for my mother during the day. My father is out fishing and my husband works on Atangi. It’s difficult...especially since my brother and his family went to live in Australia.’
‘I know.’ Lani’s mother had had a stroke a year ago and had been left with a disability that needed constant care. She had lost the use of one arm, her speech was unintelligible to anyone other than Lani and she had difficulty swallowing.
‘Leave it with me, Lani. I’ll arrange something. Maybe we can get someone to come here to help. Or we can arrange for your mother to come with you, like she has today.’
What would happen if the flying obstetrician deemed the birth high risk and advised Lani to go to Australia for the last weeks of her pregnancy was another problem. Anahera would need to bring it up with Sam and the other staff at their next clinical meeting. They might have to admit Lani’s mother to the hospital to care for her until Lani was home again.
The morning flew by as Anahera treated her patients. Whenever she went outside to call the next person in, it was impossible not to look around to see how Luke was passing the time.
She’d been very unwelcoming, telling him his help wasn’t necessary. She could imagine the look that Sam would give her if he found out. Or what he would say.
You had a doctor there and you made him just sit and wait for you? That’s crazy, Ana. We need all the help we can get here. You know that.
She did know that. So the new guilt, added to what was already there, was taking the shine off a day that she normally loved. But she remembered how well they had worked together all those years ago. How they’d felt like the perfect partnership right from the first case they’d shared, and she didn’t want to feel that professional rapport again. Things were hard enough as they were.
And Luke didn’t seem to be feeling bad about being left out. When she went outside with Lani and looked at the long bench under the fig tree, he was no longer sitting there. In fact, half of the waiting patients weren’t there any more either. A burst of laughter and a child’s gleeful shriek revealed what was going on. A game of barefoot football. Village children had gathered and it seemed like the captains of the two teams were Jack and Luke.
For a moment Anahera watched the game, a smile spreading over her face, and, for the first time today, the knot in her stomach eased a little.
Luke looked so happy. He didn’t need to speak an island dialect to connect to these children and they were loving this game. Could they tell that the way he was trying to block their access to the improvised goal was all for show and he was actually making it easier for them? The triumphant shouting when Luke was dramatically waving his fists in the air to indicate frustrated defeat suggested that they didn’t and the joyful laughter meant that it didn’t matter even if they did know.
And then a small boy tripped as he was running and fell hard, raising a cloud of dust from the bare patch of ground. Luke was there before the dust even began to settle, scooping the child up and settling him on one hip as he checked for any injury.
Anahera could see the concern on his face. The gentle way he was examining small limbs. And then he tickled the little boy and they both burst into laughter.
The stone in Anahera’s belly seemed to turn into jelly.
She had forgotten how great Luke had been with children. That instant rapport that paved the way for making it easy for him to care for them. That patience and kindness that always won over even the most frightened children in the end.
It had been one of the first things she had loved about him.
She had thought about what a wonderful father he would make one day and how his children would adore him.
It wasn’t the heat or dust that was making her throat close up.
It felt more like overwhelming sadness.
Luke set the child down on his feet and he ran off to join his friends. Luke was still grinning and he wiped dusty hands on his already smeared white shirt and then he looked around and caught sight of Anahera and the grin faded. He looked wary rather than happy now.
As if his change in mood was contagious, the game broke up. Anahera had to blink back tears. The happiness had been snuffed out and it felt like it was her fault.
‘Alika? Can you come inside now, please? It’s your turn...’
* * *
Finally, the clinic was over.
Luke watched as Anahera locked the door of the simple hut. Jack picked up the supply bin, which was almost empty, in one hand. He had the chilli bin that had held the sandwiches and cold drinks they’d had for lunch in the other.
‘I’m going to drop these back to the chopper and then have a swim,’ he said. ‘Luke’s already had a dip but I’m still filthy from that game of footy. Take your time in the village, Ana, but it’d be nice to get back to Wildfire before dark.’
‘I thought you were going to come with us. Didn’t you want to show Luke the shipwreck?’
‘You know where it is.’ Jack began to walk away. ‘Have fun.’
Luke eyed Anahera. She met his gaze but neither of them smiled.
‘Let’s go, then,’ he said. ‘I’ve got all the snap-lock bags I need for samples and a notebook for recording information about the tea brewing.’
‘Okay.’ Anahera’s nod was brisk. ‘It’s not too far to the village but we’d need to take a slightly longer route if you want to see the shipwreck.’
Did he want more time with Anahera?
This was an unexpected opportunity as he’d also thought that Jack would be joining them for the visit to the village. And it could well be the only chance he was going to get to have a private conversation with her.
‘Yes.’ His hesitation had been brief. ‘I would like that. Very much.’
Their path took them uphill along a forest track, and Luke wasn’t bothered by the silence between them because it added to the magic of the rainforest. It had been so long since he’d walked a track like this and he’d forgotten how intricately intertwined the plant life was. Spaces between the tall, smooth trunks of the trees that stretched to form the canopy were crowded with tree ferns and palms and ginger plants. There were dense tangles of vines that were a startling contrast to spectacular bursts of colour from orchids. Overhead branches had epiphytes and aerial moss competing for room. The raucous screech of parrots and a hum of insects were the only sounds other than twigs breaking beneath their feet.
They emerged from the forest into an area that had
been cleared enough for grass to grow. There were some goats farther up the hill but Anahera led him towards a rocky patch that looked disconcertingly close to where the ground fell away steeply.
‘Don’t go too close to the edge,’ she said. ‘And test the rocks before you stand or sit on any of them. Sometimes one goes rolling off. The big ones are safe.’ She scrambled carefully over some small rocks to climb onto the biggest one that jutted out towards the sea. Luke followed and found there was plenty of room for two people and the surface was quite flat. It provided a viewing platform with a stunning panorama of the ocean a long way below. The water was an astonishing shade of turquoise and so clear the ghostly outline of the ancient shipwreck was instantly recognisable.
‘Wow...’ Luke shaded his eyes from a sun that was getting lower in the sky and stared down. ‘That’s amazing...’
‘Mmm. I love it here.’ To Luke’s consternation, Anahera walked calmly to the edge of the rock and folded herself gracefully to sit down with her legs dangling in space.
He followed a little more cautiously.
And there they were. Totally alone with the most stunning view imaginable spread out in front of them, with countless islands in every direction and the curve of reefs sheltering some of them and the changes in sea colour from pale turquoise to the almost navy blue of the deepest ocean. The intense heat of the day had faded and a gentle breeze was playing with the long strands of Anahera’s ponytail. As if to make the moment perfect, a gorgeous gold-and-black butterfly came within touching distance as it flew past.
Luke was unlikely to get a better opening to a conversation.
‘How cool is that?’ He smiled. ‘A flutterby.’
A huff of laughter escaped Anahera and it was the first time Luke had seen a genuine smile on her face in his presence. The kind that made the corners of her eyes crinkle and her whole face light up.
‘You’re not three, Luke. I don’t think you get to call them a flutterby.’
‘But why not?’ It was so good to see her smile. It felt like that impenetrable barrier had just become transparent. ‘It’s such a brilliant word. It’s exactly what they do, isn’t it? Look...’
The Nurse Who Stole His Heart Page 5
