by India Lee
Tyler was silent. He didn’t look at her. Instead, he glanced at the nail marks Gemma had left on his chest from pushing him. He crossed the room to the dresser, rummaging through it for a t-shirt to put on. “Christ,” he exhaled. Gemma turned to see him staring down at a pile of shirts, on top of them the box holding the five-carat diamond. Tyler rubbed his forehead, his shoulders slumping over the drawer as he gripped its edges. “Think you’ll ever wear this?” he asked quietly, touching the box. When he looked at Gemma, the anger was gone. “Maybe not now but… somewhere down the line.” He gave a worn out laugh. “So the media doesn’t call me a liar now too?”
Gemma sighed as she went over to him. She closed the dresser drawer and put her hands on his shoulders. “Please stop caring about what the media is saying about you or me or us,” she pleaded gently. “You shouldn’t care what they think.”
“I only care what you think,” Tyler said softly. “But the problem is I still don’t know what you’re thinking. You won’t marry me, you run off to Croatia, you don’t tell me what you’re feeling.”
“My mind is a mess right now, between you and the media and my career,” Gemma said. She rested her face against his palm when he stroked her cheek. “I’m about to start completely anew in my career and I’m excited but terrified. So I’m sorry, but I can’t articulate to you everything in my mind when I don’t know what’s even there yet.”
“Don’t be sorry. Let’s just figure it out together,” Tyler said, cupping her face with his hands. She let him kiss her and back her towards the bed. He lifted her onto it, climbing on top of her body. “I don’t care what it takes. I’ll stay home with you for the rest of the week. The month. We can talk or just lay here or do whatever you need.” He held her tight in his arms as he kissed her neck
“I don’t know what it’ll take though,” Gemma said quietly. “And I don’t think it’s something that we’ll figure out in even a month.”
“I’ll take off whatever amount of time I need to then. I won’t go overseas for the premieres. Screw the contract, I’ll leave everything.”
Gemma laughed. “No, you wouldn’t.”
Tyler looked into her eyes earnestly. “I would, because all I want is to make you happy. I’ll do whatever it takes, even if it means walking away from singing or acting.”
Gemma frowned. “That’s insane. That’s your career.”
“But you’re my priority.”
Gemma blinked up at him, both touched and frustrated. She pushed him off of her. He flopped onto his back with surprise, turning to her with his utter confusion. She stared up at the ceiling for a few seconds before finally looking at him with exasperation.
“It’s the same conversation again. Why are we having it? I need to do things on my own, Tyler. You have to let me do that,” she said. “I’m trying to be my own person. I’m trying to figure out what I’m like without music and singing. I want to prioritize me right now and you’re not giving me the space that I need for that.”
Tyler looked hurt before his eyes hardened again. “So where does that leave me?” he asked. Before she could respond, he answered himself. “You won’t marry me, so it leaves me in the same place I’ve been, which is watching you. Not being a part of you. Being helpless when you’re upset or hurt because I’m just a spectator in your life. It leaves me nowhere.”
They both stared at the ceiling in silence.
“We should break up.”
The words came from Tyler. Gemma felt her mouth part in stunned surprise, a hurt breath escaping her lips. Tyler remained still next to her, sticking to his words. He wasn’t taking them back. She exhaled.
“Fine. We should break up,” she let herself utter the difficult words herself. But when she turned to look at Tyler, she realized that they had been more of a test coming from his mouth, because he looked at her with shock.
“Really?” he asked. “You’re serious, Gemma?”
She asked herself the question too. Though there were tears welling in her eyes, she nodded. And she meant it. There was just no middle ground for her and Tyler – their relationship was essentially impossible. It was her turn to be still now, to stick by her words. She felt Tyler staring at her with disbelief before turning his head back to the ceiling. He lay beside her for another few moments as they both stared at nothing. It was silent, but from her peripheral vision, Gemma saw Tyler’s hand reaching up to wipe his eyes. At that moment, the tears spilled down the side of her own face, blurring her vision. She brought the sheets to her eyes, wiping them dry so she could see again.
And when she could, Tyler was gone.
Chapter 14
“This kind of feels like Dawn of the Dead. All those kids outside are zombies and they’re waiting for us to leave the house so they can eat our brains.”
Gavin ignored the girls’ strange looks as he knelt over the top of the couch, staring at the dozens of fans milling outside the window of Mira’s Beauford home. The house had been empty and unlived in since before her wedding, but when multiple cars pulled in throughout the week, neighbors began whispers of Queen Bee and company possibly being in town. The rumors were confirmed when someone finally spotted Gavin and Zoe picking up groceries at the local ShopRite, tailing them home and spreading word till the sidewalk teemed with teenagers skipping school. They mostly just took pictures of the house’s exterior with their phones, but occasionally, there’d be shouts for Gemma, Zoe or Harper – and sometimes even Gavin.
“Why are they yelling for Gavin? He’s not even effin’ famous,” Kate pouted as she lay on her stomach in front of the television, which Zoe had forcibly changed to Lockdown, a prison show on National Geographic. Along with Gavin, she, Leah, Harper and Zoe had convened in Beauford for what Zoe had called “emergency hang-out time.”
“Not for you, Bee, for me,” Zoe pretended. “I have two weeks before this guy’s Winter Break ends.” She pointed to Gavin, who plopped back down on his seat beside her.
“Come visit me at ‘Cuse,” he said, tweaking her nose.
Leah gasped, looking up from her Vogue. “Don’t do it, Zo,” she warned with wide eyes. “He lives in the like, frattiest frat house that ever fratted. It’s the sweatiest place ever because they’re all athletes.”
“All athletes, eh?” Zoe cocked an eyebrow at Gavin, biting her lip.
“Hey.” He ran his finger over her mouth. “Don’t make a sexy face while thinking about my frat brothers.” Zoe obliged, putting on a serious one. “Well, don’t do that either,” Gavin laughed, kissing her fake frown.
“Gross. Stop now,” Harper ordered. Gavin turned to her, his arm around Zoe.
“Harp, you can’t call someone gross when you’re wearing bird poop on your face.”
“This is coconut butter,” Harper said of the white substance she’d made a face mask out of from Mira’s pantry. “You can’t do bird poop facials at home. Those are expensive.”
Gemma laughed as her friends marveled over the fact that bird poop facials were in fact real. They were her like her entertainment as she quietly sat on the old tufted armchair in the corner, snuggled up in a knitted blanket with one of the three things she’d unpacked from the boxes and suitcases shipped from Tyler’s house – her leather sketchbook. She rather enjoyed just listening to her friends’ banter as she drew up new designs on the blank pages, occasionally looking up at her old antique form, which she’d displayed beside the stone fireplace. On it, as inspiration, she’d placed the coral dress she had designed and worn to the sponsor party. It reminded her of sticking it to Oro, which was always a good feeling to revisit.
It also reminded her of Madison. Madison, who since Carbine’s release, had sent Gemma a three-paged, handwritten letter of apology. For everything. Gemma didn’t spend much time wondering if it was heartfelt or the product of being bullied on a daily basis – be it on the street or online – by the ever-devoted fans of Queen Bee. They had already caused her to lose one job. Within weeks of being offered the title rol
e for a pilot on D Network – the network that had made Zoe famous – Madison had the offer rescinded due to the massive public outcry by fans of both Gemma and Bee. The fans, after all, were a powerful force to be reckoned with, and they would be tracking Madison’s every move until the day she disappeared from Hollywood. Gemma smiled, fairly certain she could think of a better definition to the word karma.
Her smile grew as her phone buzzed with a text from Armand.
I hear you are back on the East Coast. As am I, mon amour! What are you doing these days?
Gemma answered just as she heard a collective gasp come from the fans outside her window. Just figuring out the next step, mon amour.
“What was that?” Zoe asked. Everyone craned their necks to look out the window at what was causing a sudden frenzy.
“Oh, thank God, dude. It was an estrogen-fest in here!” Gavin sprung up from the couch and out the door. The girls burst into laughter as they watched him fly down the front steps and jump onto Damian’s back as he tried to make his way up the lawn. The cameras all snapped and recorded as he shifted his weight before walking to the front door with Gavin hanging onto him by the hood of his UCLA hoody.
Zoe invited him. Gemma hadn’t been sure if he wanted to be bothered. She hadn’t seen him since the fight with Tyler, though he’d sent her a few text messages to check in on her and ask if she was doing okay. “I’m good,” was always her answer even though it wasn’t quite true. But she believed it would be soon. Her first real breakup was a fresh wound and though it stung, Gemma knew that it was right. Tyler’s passion for her was unlike anything she’d ever seen before, but Gemma simply couldn’t bring herself to dedicate the remainder of her life to him. She had only just claimed possession of it herself. She wanted to do things with it. She couldn’t wait to, having felt a restless energy surging through her veins since arriving back on the East Coast. She planned to soon return to New York, her home, the place that felt as if it possessed a magnetic pull on her body. Simply being near the city made it buzz with desire to create again, to express herself, to do something. Queen Bee’s fans still waited, and Gemma intended fully on delivering something to them.
“Look at the stud I found,” Gavin said when he and Damian got into the house. The girls all stood to greet him with hugs. By the time Gemma had unraveled herself from her blanket and set aside all her sketching tools, he was standing above her chair, the smile on his lips showering her with relief. It was that same smile as always, that Damian smile that had been reassuring her for years.
“Hey, you.” He tucked her hair behind her ear. “You look good. Happy.”
Gemma laughed. “I’m definitely getting there. It helps to have these guys around,” she said, nodding at the room though she suddenly realized that it was empty. She had no idea where everyone had gone, but they couldn’t have been more obvious about clearing out to give Gemma and Damian space to talk. Awesome. Way to be awkward.
“Anyway.” She rose to her feet, walking him into the kitchen and away from the window of fans. “I don’t think I ever got to properly thank you for sneaking me out of the country,” she said with a little laugh, leaning against the counter. He stood close in front her, the tips of their shoes touching. “So thank you. A thousand times, Damian. I needed that jump. I just… wish the fight between you and him never had to happen afterwards.”
“Everything happens for a reason,” Damian said. He laughed. “And I’m pretty sure that fight was inevitable, Gemma. Things between me and Tyler hadn’t been great for awhile. I think you noticed that.” He rubbed his lips, looking down at his sneakered feet. “I don’t think it was ever meant to be good between me and him, though. I don’t know. It just happens that way with some guys.”
“But you said everything happens for a reason,” Gemma teased.
“It does. Our reason was you,” Damian said plainly. She was silenced. He laughed at her expression. “You and I will always have something, Gemma, that other people can’t understand. They just have to accept it.”
“Well it should be easy for them to now that we’re so far away from each other,” Gemma pointed out. She would soon be looking for her own apartment in New York, after all, and he had nearly two years left on his NBA contract to stay in California.
“True. But that’s what’s good about the something we have.” He gazed at her, lips curving up. “You and I are always close without having to be near. Being near each other is just a bonus.”
It was true, and it was comforting to know that while she spent the next few months or years building a new life for herself, Damian would be around for her somehow, as he’d always been. And somewhere down the line, if they ended up in the same city at the same time again, Gemma did have a feeling that they might finally explore the something they had a little more deeply.
But for now, her slate was clear, and she wanted to concentrate on drawing a new life for herself. It was just a matter of what she’d come up with.
When her friends reconvened in the living room, resuming their laughing and bantering and chatter, Gemma returned to her armchair and her blank sheets of paper. Once she settled back in, her phone buzzed. Another text from Armand.
Still figuring out the next step?? Could it be possible, Bee, that the next step has been sitting under your nose all this time?
Gemma smiled with amusement and she typed a message back. Excuse moi?
Armand’s reply came quickly, with the fabulous suggestion that she had for some time been thinking of and hoping for.
Let us stitch you a new beginning. Bring your sketches and come move back to the fashion capital of the world. Perhaps it’s time for Queen Bee to rule a new throne.
Titles by India Lee Coming 2012
New Series by India Lee
HDU?
Titles by India Lee Coming 2013
Hidden Gem Series
Diamonds Are Forever: The Final Book in the Hidden Gem Series
New Series by India Lee
Perfect/Fit
Tasteless
Turn the page for descriptions of the upcoming books plus a bonus excerpt from HDU?
Bonus Excerpt From the First Novel in India Lee’s New Series: HDU?
Last summer, 22-year-old Amanda Nathan had a lifelong best friend, her first real boyfriend, a new apartment and a wonderful life. But it all fell apart when her best friend stole her boyfriend and kicked her out of the apartment. Now Amanda’s back in Merit, Missouri, the small town she’d spent her life trying to escape. As the barely-paid moderator of HDU, the Internet’s largest gossip community, her only catharsis is posting stories of bitter Hollywood breakups – most of them about Liam Brody, her former bestie’s favorite actor and a playboy Amanda loves to hate for dumping models on a monthly basis.
So who would’ve thought that Liam Brody would be Amanda’s answer to escaping Merit? When the notorious playboy needs an image boost to land a new role, he turns to none other than HDU for some good press. As it turns out, Liam is as eager to shed his womanizing image as Amanda is desperate to move out of Merit. The solution to both problems?
Fake a relationship in which Hollywood’s biggest playboy falls for a sweet and shockingly Plain Jane from Missouri. Simple, right? Not quite. As she’s shot into stardom in her new city of Manhattan, Amanda finds that in her faux Hollywood romance, everything and nothing goes according to plan.
A crowd spilled outside the doors of the West Village hotspot, waiting to be seated in the bitter New York cold. Upon noticing Liam, members of the herd murmured and nudged one another but refused to appear openly giddy. At Lilac, they were supposed to be accustomed to the sight of celebrities.
“Don’t look like that,” Liam said, referring to the apologetic glances that Amanda gave the crowd as he pulled her through them and into the restaurant. The dimly lit space was packed and busy, but it didn’t stop both hostesses from rushing to make a greeting.
“Hello, Mr. Brody,” one managed to say before the other, subtly str
aightening the black mini dress on her long and slender frame. “Your table is ready for you.”
“Thank you,” Liam smiled, making eye contact with her for perhaps a little too long. Amanda took the time to readjust her outfit. Liam’s sweater fell like a dress on her body, the slouchy look seeming to translate as chic or at least passable. No one seemed to notice her worn-out tights. If anything, the crowd stared at her face, trying to place her in their memories.
“Is she that girl who hosts the show on Travel?” someone asked.
“No, she has a shorter face than that girl,” came the answer.
Amanda let out a breath of relief upon hearing such neutral words. They weren’t bashing her, and that was all that she had hoped for from a place like Lilac. All her ego needed for a boost was to survive dinner without anyone laughing in her face.
“Enjoy your meal,” the flirty hostess said, daring to wink at Liam before sauntering off from their cozy corner booth. Amanda watched him watch her go. He turned back only to grin, unrepentant. “What?”
Amanda laughed. “You’re going to have trouble with this. I can tell.”
“Trouble with what?” Liam scoffed.
“Staying faithful to me,” she smirked, studying her menu. She could tell that his eyes were still on her though hers were decidedly on the cocktail list.
“You do remember that this is a fake relationship, right?” he asked.
“No way, really? I’m just saying it has to look real to the press, and if they catch you cheating on poor little me you’ll look worse than you did before I came along,” Amanda pointed out, trying not to cackle at the realization taking over Liam’s face. “I’m sorry,” she said, laughing. “I know it sucks. Maybe we can hire someone for you to cheat on me with and make her sign a contract of confidentiality.”
