“I can’t,” she whispered, and shifted to face him.
Kaspar took her wine from her and set it on the floor, linking his fingers with hers. “Tell me.”
Jesska licked her lips. “It was Seth’s.”
“Who’s Seth?”
“He was my fiancé.”
Rage flooded him, and she squeaked as she yanked her hands from his and jumped from her seat. She grabbed the necklace again and pressed it against her chest. “Why are you so angry?” she asked. “More importantly, how is it I know you’re so angry?”
“Sorry,” he rushed to say. “I won’t hurt you. Just give me a second.”
Silent tears slipped down her face as he worked to control his jealousy. He desperately wanted to comfort her, but wouldn’t dare in his current state. When he felt he could openly hear her story, he tried to approach her, but she held her hand out. “Don’t.”
“Elskan, I won’t hurt you.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I know.” He took a deep breath and slipped his hands into his pockets. “Go ahead and tell me your story from there. I won’t move. Who’s Seth?”
“He was my high school sweetheart. We were planning a life together, but then he was murdered by his best friend. Stabbed in front of me. This ring was his promise ring.” She held up her left hand, the same ring on her finger. “It matches mine. And this is the engagement ring he was going to propose to me with. And this”—she tugged on her sweatshirt— “was his.”
“When did this happen?”
“A little over ten years ago.” She covered her face with her hands, sobbing now.
Kaspar couldn’t keep his promise to give her distance as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
“The worst part is that Jason has been released. His lawyer found some technicality and because of overcrowding, they’re letting him live in some halfway house until they can schedule a new trial.”
“Jason? He’s the one who killed Seth?”
She nodded into his chest. “They told Cam that Jason would be on house arrest, but he should have been given the death penalty! He shouldn’t be allowed to live when Seth’s gone.”
“Shhh,” he whispered as he rubbed her back. “It’s okay.”
She took a ragged breath. “You make me feel safe.”
“You are safe, elskan. I will never let anyone hurt you.”
Jesska slipped her hands under his shirt and stroked his back. Within seconds, she had pulled his shirt from his body and started to pepper kisses across his bare chest. Kaspar was so surprised by her assault, he couldn’t react right away. He could just feel, but that was dangerous, because she was too naïve to understand what was happening, and far too vulnerable to handle it.
Kaspar lifted her chin, wincing when her lips left his body. This was the hardest thing he’d ever done... stopping what was so natural to him. “Jesska, wait.”
* * *
Jesska blinked and then her face reddened. “Oh my... oh, sorry. What the hell is wrong with me?” She stared at Kaspar, his chest like granite, and her body drawn to him in a way it never had been to anyone else. She found herself reaching for him again, his stomach contracting at her touch. “Sorry.”
He smiled. “If you keep doing that, I’m going to bind you here and now.”
She looked at him and then stared at his chest again.
“Jesska?”
“Hmm?” she said distractedly, glancing up at him again.
“I’m going to bind you.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“I know, which is why I need my shirt back,” he said.
“Huh?”
He chuckled and held out his hand. “My shirt.”
She realized she was holding his clothing and handed it back to him quickly. “Oh, sorry. Right.”
He slipped it over his head, and disappointment flooded Jesska. “Am I doing this because you’re making me?”
“No, Jesska,” he said again, irritation rising. “I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”
“Don’t get all snappy with me! Your brother did it to my sister, so why wouldn’t I assume you could do it to me?”
He took her hand, kissing her palm. “I apologize for biting you.”
She tried not to giggle, but failed. “Snappy, not biting. It’s an expression.”
“Well, I’m sorry for that too.” He smiled. “The reason my brother could use manipulation on your sister was because she had not reached ár mökunar.”
“Ár mökunar?”
“Mating year. When we, the Kalt Einn, turn twenty-five, our gifts come into focus and our partners are shown to us if they are close. He knew your sister was his mate, but he would not have been able to make their union permanent until she reached twenty-five. When she did, she was no longer subject to his manipulation, because she now had all the power.”
“I don’t understand. What gifts? What’s mating year?” She shuddered. “It sounds horrid. What aren’t you telling me?”
“When we reach the age of twenty-five, we know our gifts. Some of us will get inklings earlier of what they are, but for the most part, we come fully into our abilities then.”
“Like witchcraft?”
“No, baby. Nothing like that.” He flicked his wrist, and the wine bottle levitated from the table and poured wine into each glass.
Jesska jumped out of her seat. “What the hell did you do?”
Kaspar reached for her at the same time as he lowered the wine bottle back to the table. “You have nothing to fear, elskan.”
She felt her heart calm at his touch and she blinked a few times, not entirely sure she could believe what she was seeing. “How is that not witchcraft?”
“Because, one, I’m not a practitioner of Wicca.”
She stared at the wine bottle, then up at him. “What else can you do?”
“Let’s ease you into that, eh?”
“Oh, because making the wine fly around the room is so easy to accept.”
“You have a point.” Kaspar laughed. “I bring all of this up to say that since you are twenty-seven—”
“How do you know how old I am?”
“I just do. Because you’re past the age of ár mökunar, it means you have all the power here, sweetheart. I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do, and I’m at your mercy.”
She licked her lips and smiled. “Oh, really?”
“If you keep doing that, Jesska, I will bind you here and now.”
“Doing what?”
He ran a thumb across her lower lip. “Drawing focus to your very kissable mouth.”
She shivered at his touch. “Maybe you should explain to me what binding is, exactly.”
“Before I do, may I ask a favor?”
She nodded.
“Would you feel comfortable putting on something other than Seth’s hoodie?”
“You’re not jealous, are you?”
“Extremely so,” he admitted.
She stared up at him. She could tell he was battling his emotions and if she was being honest, she’d worn Seth’s sweatshirt as an armor of sorts. There was a pull towards Kaspar that she hadn’t expected. It was strong, and she found herself not wanting to fight it. She smiled. “I will go find something else.”
“Thank you,” he said, and leaned down to kiss her again.
Jesska slid her hands into his hair, sighing against his lips. “Good lord, you can kiss.”
He chuckled. “As can you.”
“I’ll change quickly.” She forced herself to walk away from him, even though she could probably spend the rest of her life kissing him if given half the chance. Once in her bedroom, she couldn’t quite decide what to wear. For the first time in a long time, she cared about what she looked like.
She took a few minutes to run a brush through her hair and clean her teeth, then found her Portland State hoodie and pulled it on. Even though it
was a reminder of what she gave up, it fit her perfectly and the color suited her. Most importantly, however, it was warm.
She made her way back to the living room, smiling when Kaspar stood as she entered the room. The old-world charm of him was endearing.
Jesska smiled and held her arms out. “Better?”
Kaspar grinned. “You’re beautiful.”
“Thank you.” She bit her lip. “Will you explain what binding is now?”
He nodded as she sat back on the sofa, and he returned to the chair facing her, settling his arms on his knees. “When we, the Kalt Einn, find our forever mate, there is a private ceremony, words are spoken, vows are made, and then we are joined physically, completing the ritual. It’s a bond that can never be broken.”
“Isn’t that what everyone hopes for? An unbroken bond?”
Kaspar smiled. “In the case of the Kalt Einn, sweetheart, it’s literal.”
“Why?”
“Because we aren’t human.”
“Wait, what?” She gasped and then let out a nervous giggle. “Sorry, I thought I just heard you say you’re not human.”
Kaspar stood and waved toward the sofa. “May I?”
She blinked up at him, not sure if she wanted him to sit next to her or not. “You can’t make me do anything, right?”
“No. You are fully you.”
“Okay, then.”
He sat beside her and linked his fingers with hers. “I want you to know that I’m telling you the truth.”
She nodded, her heart calming at his touch. “Are you really not human?”
“Já. I was born in 1017. My clan emigrated from Norway to Iceland about thirty years before my birth.”
“Wait,” she said. “You’re a thousand years old?”
“In about four weeks, yes.”
“Well, we must have a party,” she retorted.
Kaspar smiled as he ran his thumb over her knuckles. “Take a deep breath, elskan.”
She closed her eyes and did as he suggested, feeling his sincerity as she opened herself to him. She shivered. She’d never felt so cherished in all her life. She knew that this man, a man she’d just met, would go to the ends of the earth to protect her. How she knew, she had no clue, but she felt it in her bones.
When his lips covered hers, she sighed, her eyes still closed as she leaned into the kiss. She looped her arms around his neck and slid her fingers into his hair. He broke the kiss, but kept her close as he stroked her hair. “Are you hungry?”
She nodded.
“I’ll take you to dinner, hmm?”
“I’d like that.” Jesska glanced up at him. “I’ll just change quickly.”
“You don’t need to change, elskan.”
She pulled away from him. “I am not going out in public with you looking like that and me looking like this.”
Kaspar smiled. “You are beautiful.”
Jesska wrinkled her nose. “That would make you blind, then. I won’t be long.”
Kaspar laughed and Jesska ran to her room to change. She removed her hoodie and pulled her see-through, silver sweater over the black camisole she wore. She pulled on black leather knee-high boots over her jeans and pulled her hair into a ponytail, which instantly made her look less like a homeless person and more like she’d put some effort in. A spritz of perfume and she headed back to the living room.
Kaspar smiled and Jesska’s heart raced. He looked as though he’d missed her and was happy to see her, even though she’d only been out of his presence for ten minutes. She still wasn’t entirely sure how much she was going to ask, and if she did ask, how much he would answer, but he was certainly pretty, and right now, she didn’t care how much she knew as long as she could just look at him for a little while.
“Wow,” he said.
“Is this okay?”
He leaned down to kiss her cheek. “Stunning, sweetheart.”
“You did say virtually the same thing when I was in a hoodie, so I’m not entirely sure your judgment is sound.”
Kaspar laughed. “The truth is that I’d find you beautiful regardless of what you wear.”
“Charmer.”
Her phone rang and she grabbed it, seeing Cameron’s name come up. “Hey, Cam.”
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, why?”
“Dalton thought Kaspar might be on his way to you.”
“Um, yeah.” She glanced at Kaspar. “He’s here.”
“I’ll be right there,” Cameron said.
“No, Cam. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine if the man’s harassing you, Jess,” Cameron ground out.
“He’s not.”
“Jess.”
“Cameron. I’m fine. He’s fine. It’s all fucking fine,” she snapped.
She heard him sigh. “You call me if it starts to not be fine. Got it?”
“Yes.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too,” she said, and hung up.
“Everything all right?” Kaspar asked.
“Yes.” She forced a smile. “My brother’s just being overprotective.”
He smiled. “Where would you like to go for dinner?”
“Ooh, my choice, huh?” He nodded and she smiled. “If we can get in, how about Portland City Grill. Great food, amazing views, and excellent service. It’s also in this really cool building with pink looking windows.”
“Lead the way, beautiful.”
Jesska grabbed her coat and purse, locked up her duplex, and followed Kaspar to the car. Austri held the door and she climbed in first, securing her seatbelt. Kaspar joined her and linked his fingers with hers as Austri pulled away from the curb and headed to Big Pink.
Arriving at the restaurant, Austri headed to the bar. Kaspar held Jesska’s chair for her, then sat across from her and ordered a bottle of wine.
“So, do you have a kryptonite phobia or anything like that?” she asked, once the server had left.
“What do you mean?”
“For your super powers,” she whispered. “Is there anything that will bring you down?”
Kaspar chuckled. “You’re adorable, you know that?”
“Thank you... I think.” She grinned. “Are you avoiding my question?”
“Why would I do that?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe you’re worried I’m Delilah to your Samson?”
He laughed and reached across the table to squeeze her hand. “Are you saying you want me to grow my hair?”
“Oooh, now that’s an idea,” she joked.
“We have to avoid almonds or anything using the extract, also heat, as you know, and there is a flower native to Iceland called Red Fang. It can be crushed, boiled, any manner of variations, and if administered to us through the skin, food, or drink, it will render us paralyzed.”
She gasped. “Will it kill you?”
He shook his head. “In order for it to kill us, it would take a lot more than most people have on hand, but it will temporarily paralyze us, and then if we are left somewhere hot, that could kill us.”
“Does that happen a lot? People running around dosing each other with Red Fang?”
He shook his head. “No, but we all carry the antidote on our person. It’s like an EpiPen, and will counteract the drug.”
“Good to know.”
The waiter returned with their wine and Kaspar approved it before he poured Jesska a glass. Once they ordered, Jesska kept her connection to Kaspar as she sipped the gloriously rich and delicious red. “You have excellent taste in wine.”
Kaspar tipped his glass towards her. “Thank you.”
She glanced behind her and caught sight of Austri, smiling at him before facing Kaspar again. “Is he okay all alone?”
“Of course.”
“Does he go everywhere with you?”
Kaspar nodded.
She looked at Austri again. “And he’s okay with that?”
“Why wouldn’t he be?” Kaspar asked. “It’s his
job.”
Jesska smiled. “It’s all so alien to me, I guess. Security.”
“I’ve never really given it much thought. Someone has been at my back since I was little.”
“What if you just wanted to be alone?”
“That’s what my bedroom is for, I suppose,” he said. “Although, there are always servants close at hand.”
“What’s your living situation like now?” she asked, and sipped her wine.
“I live in our ancestral home in Iceland. It’s isolated enough that most people wouldn’t be able to find it, even if they were looking for it.”
“Do you live alone?”
He shook his head with a smile. “Not in the way you mean. I live without my brothers. However, I have a house full of servants. Although, they aren’t seen until they need to be.”
“Meaning, you forget they’re there until you need them.”
“I suppose, yes.”
“Where does your family live? Your brothers and the like?”
“Ari lives in Reykjavik and Gunnar lives close to me. My parents are no longer living. We have a large clan, and for the most part, they are near me, although folks have spread out in other parts of Iceland.”
“Wow. Mine all live close,” she said. “My father’s parents are long gone, but my mother’s are still alive, and I see them as often as possible. And of course, you know my brother and sister.”
“Are you close to your parents?”
She shook her head.
“Why not?”
Jesska pulled her hand from his and settled it on her lap. Her mind flashed back to her time in the psych ward.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I don’t mean to upset you.”
“No, it’s okay.” She took a deep breath. “Um, no. I’m not close to my parents. I am close to Cameron and Megan, but not them.”
Kaspar smiled gently. “Let’s change the subject, hmm?”
She nodded and took another sip of wine.
He set his wine down. “Tell me about your job. Do you like it?”
“No, not really.” She grimaced. “Actually, I hate it.”
“How come?”
“Because bitches be loco,” she retorted.
He let out a quiet cough. “I’m sorry?”
Jesska smiled. “Don’t get me wrong, I like the work. I’m naturally organized and enjoy that aspect of it, but I’m in the administrative field, which is dominated by women. And unfortunately, women are mean, horrible creatures who will do their best to drag you down if you rise above anything.” She sighed. “If I could get away with doing my job and not having to deal with people, I’d love it.”
Bound by Tears (Cauld Ane Series, #6) Page 11
