by Kia Corthron
The wind blow hard, rattle the windas.
Sometime I look at you, sad. Make me sad. Teenager’s a funny time, mixed-up time. But then I come up here, cleanin your room an I find your drawins. Then I remember you got somethin dancin bright inside a you. Most people spend their life tryin to find somethin an here my son not quite thirteen already see it. Then I feel okay, I know my son Dwight gonna live a happy life.
Cryin again! She hole me both arms an I think this is it, this moment with my mama. An my little brother downstairs happy an hoppin, I ain’t never gettin married! I don’t wanna grow up, I want it always to be this, me an Mama an Daddy an Eliot, always together.
Nex mornin I sketch us, my family. Daddy be home Sunday, tomarra! I’ll show him my drawin. An I sign it which I don’t always do: Dwight Campbell, 12/6/41.
ELIOT
I wake up with a cold—an Daddy comin home Sunday, tomarra! Mama checkin my forehead an bringin me Coke, Daddy come home Sunday mornin bring me a horse! Little wood red horse but the afternoon everything different. She checkin on me, but somethin else worry her face. Daddy too! The radio on all the time.
Monday I feel all better! But it late! Mama I don’t wanna miss school, I wanna get the Perfect Attendance certificate again!
Mama smile a little, happy I’m feelin better to run down the steps but still ain’t happy like she oughta be!
No school today, she say. An go back to the radio! Her an Daddy an Dwight ears to the radio, President Roosevelt on the radio an this remine me a what Dwight said the other night about the March on Worshinton called off.
Mama! Dwight say we ain’t goin to Worshin—
Sh!
I look at em an now I know. All these months I keep a secret inside, figure I don’t say nothin it come true. But now I know we ain’t goin to Worshinton!
Basement. Usually I’m bad in the coal only wunst a winter but I need it! Bury my legs in it! wipe my face the tears. What Mr. Roosevelt jus said is true so true. This is a date live in infamy.
DWIGHT
Christmas afternoon Mama say I run outa the brown sugar, my sweet potatas gonna be a disappointment this year an Daddy say Ain’t nothin you cook ever a disappointment love knock knock.
Only wunst or twiced before Carl ever been inside my house, now here he come, guess seein how I made out presents-wise. I got clay an toy soldiers an gloves, Eliot got a fire truck an jack-in-the-box an mittens. Carl all polite meetin my daddy firs time, thankin my mama for the cookie, then: Come over see mine.
I suspect Carl’s place be floor-to-ceilin Christmas. Instead he only got one but it’s big: bike.
Pretty soon hard to get these, says Mr. Talley, touchin the tires. Rationing rubber.
Mrs. Talley gave Mr. Talley a nice chest set which apparently he an Carl been wearin out, so now Carl teaches me. Mr. Talley stands gazin at us sippin his Christmas coffee, which I get a whiff of walkin by, a little like the brewery.
You hear the Japs took Hong Kong today? Mr. Talley asks me. His laugh is big, Santa jolly an somethin else.
Christina says, I learned another carol an she goes into the family room with Mr. Talley followin an we hear from the piano God Rest Ye Merry then Hark the Herald while Mrs. Talley in the kitchen keepin a watch over the dinner preparations while I win firs chest game (Carl: Beginner’s luck!) an then he beats me game two (Carl: See?) an Christina an Mr. Talley walk past us to the kitchen an Mrs. Talley comes out an says, Mr. Talley and Christina are helping themselves to the Christmas cookies, Dwight, you come get some whenever you want, an I say, Thank you, an Carl goes, Come on, an I follow him into the family room.
One two three one two three to me’s a waltz an I say so but Carl don’t answer, jus keep playin it, eyes on the music. My lessons ended long ago. Carl got bored teachin me, an anyhow after school started I wasn’t comin over so regular anymore. The sheet music Carl playin from says Moonlight Sonata. Eventually Mrs. Talley come in quiet quiet, searchin through the drores of a dresser for somethin, eventually start to hum Carl’s tune without thinkin which I think is nice. Somethin very holiday come over me an just a moment me an her catchin a smile at each other an a little laugh escape me but it cut off quick when Carl suddenly bang hard on the keys an stop playin. He don’t even turn aroun to look at her, all she gets his back. Oh sorry, she mutter, an gone. Now he resume, his fingers sailin the keys. The minutes go by an I’m thinkin it’s bout time to leave when she come again, all tiptoe, tray a cookies, two glasses a milk. Firs she han me mine. Thank you, my lips move. All delicate she place the other glass top a the piano above Carl, no soun she make, only the piano like we in a silent movie, Carl’s eyes on the music ain’t missed a note. She about to go but then can’t, drawn to the notes she close her eyes, smile, swayin ever so gentle, an Carl so skilled he keep playin uninterrupted with his left han while his eyes stay on the sheet music while takin his right han off the keys usin it to pick up his full glass a milk an hurl it all in his mother’s face. She sputter, make this funny gasp an Carl put the glass down back to playin with both hans, the music never stopped, while the white drippin off his mother’s chin and she leave, shuttin the door behind her ever so quiet. I stare at the empty glass, my knee start to shake. Then Carl finishes. Octave with the left hand, triplet figuration with the right, he says. That’s Movement 1: Adagio sostenuto. Then he proceed on to Movement 2.
**
By tradition Roof always invited to my house on my birthday Febyuary second. Ain’t seen Carl in a while but seem wrong not to invite him too, he invited me to his in January at the roller rink. I told him I asked my mama an she said no, the roller rink colored gotta bring their own skates an I ain’t got none. Carl tole his mama an Mrs. Talley on the phone to the rink to verify it’s true an it is, so she call aroun an one a the boys invited had a ole pair he let me borrow an my mama wa’n’t happy cuz she wanna boycott the damn rink but she didn’t wamme be rude to Carl so I went. Mrs. Talley paid for everbody’s entrance an then left an we skated. She said no one had to bring a present though I notice half the boys did. I’m a little embarrassed by mine so relieved Mrs. Talley insist Carl don’t open any of em till after he take em home. The skates didn’t fit my feet right an gay me blisters but the boys rented the skates got blisters too so that wa’n’t nothin.
Roof an Carl, wonder how that be. But by some stroke a luck Carl’s sister got a piano recital so Carl gotta decline my birthday.
My mama gimme a new pad an charcoal pencils. I know I’m givin ya nothin you don’t already have. But just so’s you don’t run out.
Thanks, Mama.
We ain’t never expected a present from Roof so sprised he hold out somethin. Cartoon cut outa the paper. I know you been collectin em, he say.
Nex day settin on my bed after school, slice a leftover cake. Firs I make the double V like she asked me to. Then I pick up the cartoon Roof gimme. I open my little drore filled with the clippins.
One of em is three Congressmen on a horse. The horse is branded NEW DEAL. The men are singin Oh, the Old Gray Mare, She Ain’t What She Used to Be. President Roosevelt drives by in a fancy new car which says WIN THE WAR and he tells the men on the New Deal horse Turn Her Out to Pasture, Boys. We’ve Got to Get Going.
There’s ones encouragin people to buy war bonds signed Dr. Seuss, an I wonder how a doctor got time also be a cartoonist. This man seem to appear on all of em, this Oriental man with big teeth an big spectacles. One has him an Hitler’s faces on Mount Rushmore, their eyes closed, the Oriental man’s teeth’s so large he doe’n’t seem to be able to close his mouth. DON'T LET THEM CARVE THOSE FACES ON OUR MOUNTAINS! BUY UNITED STATES SAVINGS BONDS AND STAMPS!
Then there’s cartoon clippins nothin to do with the war, like a blond white child in a white outfit nex to a little colored child more tattered. Neither of em looks dirty, yet the white kid says, WHY DOESN'T YOUR MAMMA WASH YOU WITH FAIRY SOAP? There’s a col
ored maid so happy the family she works for has a Tracy sink: m-m-m-MM! They sure have the Nicest things. An Topsy Tobacco, the skippin little dark girl with the nappy hair: I IS SO WICKED!
An the Pullman Porter overhearin the white couple upset cuz the lady caught a cold on their honeymoon. The Porter smiles an speaks nothin like my daddy. Pahdon me, fo’ overhearin’ yo’, but Sal Hepatica does BOTH dose things. It’s a min’ral salt laxative and it helps Nature counteract acidity too. Las’ trip a doctah tole me.
What I’m wonderin is how come the colored people an the Japanese people don’t look human, or don’t act human. I don’t know who that Japanese man is. It don’t look like Emperor Hirohito, it don’t look like Prime Minister Tojo, but that white man sure is Hitler. Cartoons sposed to exaggerate the person. But why when the person ain’t white all that gets exaggerated’s the race?
Dwight!
She can holler up to me but hate if I holler back, I’m sposed to jus drop what I’m doin an come down.
Makin her list. Needja to go to D’Angelo’s. Some sugar, butter. I give her the double V I made for the front winda an she smile, gimme a kiss. While she searchin through the cupboards to see if she forgot anything I look at the Pittsburgh Courier letter-to-the-editor again, taped on the icebox door.
Being an American of dark complexion and some 26 years, these questions flash through my mind: “Should I sacrifice my life to live half American?” “Will things be better for the next generation in the peace to follow?” “Would it be demanding too much to demand full citizenship rights in exchange for the sacrificing of my life.” “Is the kind of America I know worth defending?” “Will America be a true and pure democracy after this war?” “Will colored Americans suffer still the indignities that have been heaped upon them in the past?”
This may be the wrong time to broach such subjects, but haven’t all good things obtained by men been secured through sacrifice during just such times of strife?
The “V for Victory” sign is being displayed prominently in all so-called democratic countries which are fighting for victory over aggression, slavery and tyranny. If this V sign means that to those now engaged in this great conflict then let colored Americans adopt the double VV for a double victory; The first V for victory over our enemies from without, the second V for victory over our enemies within. For surely those who perpetrate these ugly prejudices here are seeking to destroy our democratic form of government just as surely as the Axis forces.
Mrs. D’Angelo’s mindin the store. Most an genrally she’s friendly as Mr. D’Angelo but today in a little argument at the cash register with a white lady. Figure it might be a few minutes before Mrs. D’Angelo free to ring up my sugar an butter an salt so I flip through the comics.
Dwight! How are you, dear?
I look up from Captain America.
Hi.
I haven’t seen you in ages! I don’t think you’ve been over for a visit since Christmas!
Mm. Well, Carl’s birthday.
Yes, we saw you then but it wasn’t at our house. I love having you around the family. You are one of the family! You’ve been with us since we moved here, it doesn’t feel right not seeing you every day like we used to.
Aw.
Oh! Her eyes closed, hand on her heart. The present you gave Carl. So perfect! The best gift by far! It’s hanging over the piano. Framed.
I laugh a little, shift my feet.
But I guess you didn’t know! Carl hasn’t thanked you. I told him to make sure he thanks all the boys at school but you’re not in his school.
I nod, glancin over at Mrs. D’Angelo an the lady, their voices gettin louder. My credit is good, the lady say.
I’m so sorry Carl couldn’t come to your birthday but I think Christina would just have been devastated if he’d missed her recital.
That’s okay.
Well he has your present. When can you come over and get it?
Oh. He didn’t have to do that.
Well he did. His first friend in Humble. I hope you’ll always stay friends.
I try to smile. Hard to look her in the face.
How about Saturday afternoon? I can make you some of my brownies. You like those, don’t you?
They’re gonna put the Japs on the concentration camps, an I hope all the wops an the krauts go there too! hurls the white lady at Mrs. D’Angelo as she leaves, slammin.
Everybody’s in the family room! says Mrs. Talley when I drop by two o’clock Saturday. Soon’s I walk in I see it: drawin I made a Carl playin the piano framed an hung over the upright. Carl settin cross-leg on the floor, some kinda mail-order catalog on his thighs. He look up when I walk in, but like his mind distracted go right back to the page.
Which one? says Christina, puttin her leff wrist in fronta me, then her right. Firs I’m confused, then I realize each had its own smell.
That one, I say.
See? she say to Carl an Mr. Talley. Carl don’t look up. Mr. Talley been standin starin at me since I walked in, wineglass in his hand, smile on his face.
I hear congratulations are in order, he says.
Yes! Both the boys are teenagers now, says Mrs. Talley. Practically grown up. I’ll get the brownies, an she’s gone.
On the wall’s a world map that wa’n’t there lass time I was here. There’s red thumbtacks in the U.S., Canada, Britain, France, Australia, New Zealand, an the Soviet Union. There’s blue thumbtacks in Germany, Japan, Italy, Poland, Denmark, Holland, Belgium, Norway, France, the Channel Islands, Bulgaria, Yugoslavia, Romania, Hungary, Finland, Estonia, British Somaliland, an the Philippines.
Recent action in the Pacific theater, says Mr. Talley. The Japs captured Manila, Kuala Lumpur. But we’re fighting back in the former, or so says the danged yellow press. Whoops. He tries to pour from a wine bottle into his empty glass but the bottle’s just as empty.
You drank that whole Chablis Dad, says Christina, holdin a han meer an tryin different lipstick colors.
Look at that map! says Mr. Talley. Ever think you see America red? But between the Soviets as Allies, and Axis Japan gnawing at Red China, well.
Here you go, Dwight. Mrs. Talley enterin with brownies. These have walnuts, these are plain. She puts the plate on a table, then settin on a soff chair, picks up her spectacles an takes some embroiderin she’d been workin on. I don’t think I ever seen her settin down before.
Empty, says Mr. Talley, still clutchin the bottle, smilin an lookin at Mrs. Talley.
You’ve had enough, she says without lookin up.
Edwin enlisted, says Christina, suddenly droppin her meer to look at her mother.
Yes, you’ve mentioned that, says Mrs. Talley.
I’m going to write him every day. Christina don’t wear pigtails no more, graduated to a bob. Carl takes a pen an circles somethin in the catalog.
Carl, do not vandalize my catalog! says Mr. Talley, though there’s a little smile on his face, like he oughta be madder but right now he’s feelin too good to be.
I’m worried about him, says Christina. He’s gonna be a flyer.
I’m thirsty, says Mr. Talley, walkin out with his glass. Carl brings me the catalog.
Edwin’s my fiancé, says Christina.
Yes, you’ve mentioned that, says Mrs. Talley.
Carl takes the page from me an shows it to his mother.
Half-birthday, he says.
She looks over her glasses at it, then back to her work.
We’ll see.
It’s cheaper than the other one.
We’ll see.
Carl turns to me. Monopoly?
Mr. Talley comes in pourin a newly opened wine bottle. Damn krauts, so cocky! Moving into Soviet territory, hey, the Russians just recaptured Kiev, take that up your ass, Hitler!
Craig! says Mrs. Talley.
Open season, says Carl
, as many hotels as you can afford. My firs roll I get one an a two, put me right on Mediterranean. Dammit! says Carl.
Mary Jo and Seth Landers just got married, says Christina. It meant something to him. Before going overseas. Knowing he had somebody, till death do they part.
Here comes Dwight the slumlord, mutters Carl.
Oh Dwight! We didn’t even explain. Since Carl’s birthday comes so soon after Christmas, and we’re all empty pockets from the holidays, three years ago he very thoughtfully suggested that we celebrate his half-birthday. So on January 7th he has his party and friends can give him presents if they like, and on July 7th, his half-birthday, he gets the presents from the family. Wasn’t that smart of him?
I think the adjective you’re looking for is greedy, says Christina.
Pig, says Carl.
Alright, says Mrs. Talley.
They’re all gonna disappear, says Mr. Talley. One day you’ll look around the neighborhood, all the men eighteen to thirties, gone.
Craig’s been volunteering at the draft board.
Had to do something. Since I wasn’t going to be a fool air raid warden, blowing a goddamn siren. You know who volunteers for that job? The assholes.
Craig!
Go straight to jail? Carl throws the card down. How the hell that get top of the deck? The game’s hardly started!
Oh! I almost forgot your present, Dwight! I’m kinda sorry see her get up to get it. Felt like a whole different Mrs. Talley settin down.
Franklin D. didn’t want war in Asia, says Mr. Talley. Sure, he was hoping to go after Hitler while the country was screaming isolationism, but two wars at once he didn’t figure we could handle. Then, surprise! Pearl Harbor, early Christmas from Hirohito and the rest of the damn yellow Fifth Column.
