by Blue Saffire
Broken Soldier
A Lost Hearts Novella: Novella One
Blue Saffire
Contents
Broken Soldier
Quote from Blue
Preface
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Thank You
Other books by Blue Saffire
Coming Soon…
Broken Soldier
Lost Hearts Novella
Blue Saffire
Perceptive Illusions Publishing, Inc.
Bay Shore, New York
Copyright © 2018 by Blue Saffire.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.
Blue Saffire/Perceptive Illusions Publishing, Inc.
23 Chris Matt Ct.
Bay Shore, New York 11706
www.BlueSaffire.com
Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.
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Broken Soldier: Lost Hearts Series Novella/ Blue Saffire. -- 1st ed.
The lost and broken will find their way.
―Blue Saffire
Preface
Survivor
Parker
I can hardly see a thing. My NVGs shattered in the last explosion. I have so much adrenaline pumping through me. I feel like I’m moving on autopilot. This isn’t my first rodeo, but this is a bad one.
I can’t believe I’m still here.
I can feel the loss of my brothers as if we’re connected at the soul. I can’t think about that now. I have to keep moving. I push all feelings to the back of my mind, including the searing pain on my entire left side.
I fire through my blurry vision, before trying to search around me once again. My best friend, my brother in arms, the man I trust with my life was just with me. He’d taken a hit to the leg, but I had him.
“Myles,” I bellow out, as gunfire continues to erupt around me.
My earpiece is useless. Nothing is coming through. I can’t hear shit from my team. The ringing in my ears, from the blast has finally subsided. I squint to look around again.
“Redding!”
My blood runs cold, when he doesn’t respond. I can hear the moans and groans of others, but something in my bones tells me that none of those belong to Myles. I focus, allowing my ears to guide me. I begin to count.
One, two…three…four, five…six, seven, eight. Fuck.
I make out nine. I can hear the gunfire of my men. We started as twelve. I listen and count again, hoping my ears are deceiving me. My chest tightens when confirmation greets my eardrums like a ringing bell.
The loudest silence is the silence closest to me. Myles, I don’t hear close enough fire to say he’s okay. My team members are spread out, but none that are firing are close enough for me to rest in the fact that my closest brother is still with me.
Suddenly, the hairs stand up on the back of my neck as an ear-splitting whistle pierces the air. I know it’s coming, death has breathed his breath through the air. I’ll be lucky if I don’t inhale this time.
Chapter 1
Broken Soldier
Parker
Every fucking inch of my body hurts. My lids feel like weights have been placed on them, my left side feels like it’s on fire in some places and completely numb in others. Yet, I know I’m alive. I don’t know if I can say the same for my unit. I don’t know if I can say the same for Myles.
Myles and I moved up the ranks together. It was a no brainer to enter the special forces knowing he would be on my team. Myles was there when I found out my fiancée was leaving me for some real estate douche bag she’d been fucking for years. I still remember the words he whispered in my ear to keep me from losing my shit.
‘Fuck her, you’ll have two more before the night is over. Let her have that sorry motherfucker and move on.’
The words are so fresh in my mind, just like yesterday. Yet, I know it wasn’t yesterday. It was two years ago. I’d like to say I got over it, but I never truly moved on. I knew I planned to stick around in the military for a few more years so I never bothered with a real relationship.
I was saving that for one hundred and twenty days from now. Six more months and Myles and I were going to retire. We both felt it in our bones that it was time. Ninety days and we were on our way to take leave. At least, it was ninety days when we rolled out headed for camp in Herat. Afghanistan showed us it’s fucking ass.
I grit my teeth in my dry mouth. I haven’t opened my eyes because I’m not ready to face what’s coming. The sound of the machines around me tell me I’m a survivor. I just don’t know how many others are. Something tells me I’m not in hostile territory. I’m not getting that itch.
Suck it up, Parker. You have your life. Stop being a bitch.
I grunt, knowing the voice in my head has told no lie. Although in a motherfucking lot of pain, I’m breathing. I’ll never take that for granted. Not like I once did, when I was young and dumb.
Believe it or not, I think Myles’ sister is the reason I grew up. I’ve never met her in person, but I sure do feel like I know Myles’ family as if they were my own. I’ve met them through stories, skype, and photographs. For some reason, I’ve never made it to Dallas, where Myles and his family are from.
I’m a Tennessee boy myself. Until last year, I had my daddy’s ranch to go home to. When my father died, I sold the ranch and put away the money. Too many memories on that land for me. Also, not enough people I trust to take care of the place, while I’m active duty.
Myles almost lost it, when his baby sister, Lakia, broke the news to him that she’d gotten pregnant. It changed everything. Myles was so angry. Apparently, he never liked the fucker that knocked her up.
Myles wanted to go back home and murder the son of a bitch. I would’ve gone with him if his mama hadn’t talked him off the ledge. Seeing the pictures of that little baby boy when he was born, pulled something in my heart. I knew I had to be around to have his uncle’s six. It was my job to always get Myles back to him.
For four years, I’ve done my fucking job. Now, I have this feeling in my gut that tells me I fucked up. I don’t want to listen to the voices whispering that my best friend is no longe
r on this earth. It’s just not something I can stomach.
“Promise me this, Parker. If I don’t make it out of this desert, you’ll take your ass to Texas as soon as you can and make sure my sister is alright. I’m so proud of her. She’s doing her thing, but that bitch ass baby father of hers,” he paused to shake his head. “That motherfucker is going to make me put a bullet in his head.
“If I’m not there to do it, I need it to be you. Promise,” Myles demanded while locking those cola colored eyes on me.
“I’ll make the promise, but it’s not one I’ll have to keep,” I grinned at him.
I feel like a hole is blown through my chest as that memory surfaces. My eyes fly open. I have to get to Texas. I need to get to Lakia and Isaac. First thing I notice when I open my eyes, I can see, but I feel like I have tunnel vision. I blink a few times and still, nothing in my peripheral vision is clear.
I close my eyes, knowing that my SOF career is over. If I can’t see, I can’t be a part of the special forces. I’m done. Just one more loss, in a sea of more to come.
Chapter 2
Loss
Lakia
It’s been a long day of edits and revisions. I have a new book coming out, next month. So much on my plate along with it. I just want to get into my mama’s house for some of her smothered chicken and rice and peas.
That’s the benefits of growing up in the Redding home. My mama’s mix of West Indian roots and her Southern background are so good for the soul and the belly. She kept me eating good, while pregnant with Isaac. It’s no wonder that little boy scoffs down anything she places in front of him.
I love my son to pieces and back again. He’s the reason I work so hard. I used to write a book a year and worked at the local college full-time. Once I got pregnant and had to stay off my feet, I started to write more and things just took off.
Funny how life can change in the blink of an eye. Toni has been the worst father in the world to my little guy, not to mention he has been a complete asshole to me. As much as I loathe him, I wouldn’t change having my son for the world. Not even if it means washing away that look of disappointment my big brother gave me, when he returned home to my swollen belly.
Myles is a great big brother. He talked me through my bad times. I know he was disappointed, but he has never ever made me feel like he has thought less of me. He has been nothing but supportive.
I smile at the thought of my big brother. He’ll be home for good in just six months. Isaac thinks the world of him and has been counting down the days.
I turn the corner into my mama’s block and my veins run cold. I feel like my body is suddenly covered in dry ice. Mama’s house is at the head of the cul de sac, but even from here, I can see her crumbling in the doorway. I step on the gas, not even thinking. My car hops the small curb, as I pull into her driveway.
I leap from the car, while it’s still running. I move right pass the Chaplain. I don’t need to hear what he’s come to say. I already know.
“My baby,” my mama’s sobs loud enough to shake my soul.
I sink to my knees and wrap Mama in my arms. Myles was her everything, he could do no wrong. She’d been so relieved, when he told her he was retiring. I know she was secretly counting down the days herself, while praying for his safe return.
“He promised he’d make it home,” she continues. “This can’t be. It just can’t be. It’s not his time. I know it’s not his time.”
My heart is breaking. It’s breaking for my mama, it’s breaking for my son, and it’s breaking for me. My big brother could hang the moon. He was my protector, my voice of reason. The man I wanted my little boy to grow up looking up to.
Chapter 3
Nice to Meet You
Parker
A month and half later…
This has been the longest forty-four days in my life. I spent nine days in the hospital in Germany, before being sent to Brooke Army Medical in Texas. They kept me for another twenty-five days on account of my head being more fucked up than it already was.
Just as I knew, my career is done. I have moments of memory loss and at any given time, I lose my peripheral vision. I feel like a fucking horse with blinders. My left leg was burned pretty badly. Even after the skin grafting, so much nerve damage was done, I probably will never move or run the same.
Fuck, I’d live with all that shit happily if Redding, Cooper, and Graves were still here. We lost damn good men out there. I lost family. My soldiers were a part of me. I still can’t believe Myles is gone.
The only thing that has made it feel real is the nagging feeling inside to get to Texas to his family. Myles words haven’t stopped ringing in my ears. I need to be around for his baby sister and his nephew. Forty-four days has been too fucking long.
I haven’t slept since I got on the plane, from the base in North Carolina. I’ve been there for ten days, itching to get my ass back here to Texas. It was the hardest thing in my life, knowing I was so close to Lakia and Isaac, but unable to go protect them the way my friend asked me to.
I’m here now. Hell, I couldn’t be prouder of her. I’ve been standing on this line for four damn hours with giggling, babbling men and women, clamoring to get into the bookstore for their signed copies of Lakia’s latest book.
I’m so damn proud. I can’t say that enough. Myles would like to see this shit. I could see him now with his chest puffed out. I swallow hard, as I think of him and what this would mean to him.
“You can move up, Honey,” a voice says behind me.
I turn to see an older looking woman waving me forward. I turn back to see the line has moved ahead, leaving about three feet of empty space in front of me. At least I’m out of that hot ass sun. It wouldn’t have bothered me much had it not been for the two complaining in front of me, for the last four hours.
Nodding, I close the gap, bringing the table stacked with books into view. In the center of those stacks, sits the most gorgeous creature I’ve ever laid eyes on. Everything about her is stunning, from her dark chocolate skin to her long lashes that fanned her cheeks, while she looks down at the book she’s signing.
I feel the breath leave my lungs, when those lashes lift, and her face turns up with the most beautiful smile on earth. She has Myles’ cola colored eyes, hers are slanted just slightly more than his. Her lips are the most lush and full I’ve ever seen, but just right for her perfect heart shaped face.
That smile, it’s lighting up the entire room. I look down to see I’m rubbing at my own chest. Damn! Myles wasn’t a bad looking guy and I’ve seen Lakia on a skype or two in passing, but I never stopped to look and take her in. I mean, I’ve thought of her as a little sister all this time,—the way Myles presented her to me.
Now, I wouldn’t be a man if I didn’t take note of the stunning woman sitting before me. Time seems to move without me. Soon I’m standing in front of the table and those eyes are staring right back at me.
I feel like I’m a kid again. I can’t find my damn tongue to save my life. I feel like the geek I was before I went off to the military and bulked up. The teenager too shy to talk to girls at school. Not the confident soldier and known playboy, I’ve become.
“Hi,” she says softly, into the awkward silence.
Well, damn, damn, and damn again. Her voice is the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. Soft, with a little rasp, but smooth like a well-loved whiskey. Fuck!
Lakia
He’s gorgeous. Something about him is so familiar, but I would remember meeting a man as fine as him. That black hair, those piercing blue eyes. He is tall as fuck. He has to be six-five. His body is lean, but I can see the muscles rippling beneath his t-shirt and his thighs need to have mercy on those jeans.
Hot Damn!
He’s the dirty, filthy, nasty shit my books are made of. The type of guy that dances in my head, as I write scene after scene. Those full pink lips—and Lawrt, help me, —he has something slightly nerdy about him. Maybe it’s the black glasses that are totally sa
ying Clark Kent.
Yet, I know in my bones not to sleep on this man. I can feel the danger rolling off of him. It’s the same feeling I used to have around my brother. That simple knowledge by staring at him,—yes, this man as killed before.
“Hi,” he says, shaking his head, seeming to try to clear it. “I’ll take two please, if that’s alright.”
When I continue to sit and stare, he nods towards the books. I feel my cheeks burn, I drop my head, pulling my lip into my mouth. His fine ass has me feeling all types of stupid.
It’s been so long since I’ve been a fool for a man. The last time it happened I ended up with a baby and a prick for a baby’s father. Just thinking of Toni gives me the kick in the ass I need.
I reach for two copies of my latest book, not lifting my head to look at him again. My hand hovers over the page, when it dawns on me I didn’t ask to who I’ll be signing the book. He probably has some pretty girlfriend somewhere that he stood in line for.
That’s sweet. Note to self. That needs to go in your next book.
