by Opal Carew
He’d been like this for eight years? If she wasn’t looking at him, she would think he was putting her on. “A zombie, you mean?”
Drake nodded. “Yes. But not like the kind that came to your apartment. I’m sort of a…part-time zombie, I guess you could say.”
Part-time zombie? He had to be joking. “How can you be a zombie and not look like one all the time? Because I know you sure the hell didn’t look like this when we were in bed together.”
He shrugged. “I can’t explain it. It’s just how the curse works. It comes and goes. I have no idea when it will happen or how long it will last.”
She regarded him in silence as she tried to imagine what it would be like to live like that, never knowing when she might turn into a zombie. It must be horrible for him. “What did you do to make her turn you into this?”
“I made the mistake of breaking her granddaughter’s heart.”
Relief flowed through Simone. She’d been afraid he’d done something really horrible like murder someone or something else equally horrific she wouldn’t be able to get past. She could deal with a guy who had dumped a woman. That wasn’t too bad.
Wait a minute. What was she saying? Her boyfriend was a zombie. She wasn’t sure she could even get past that.
“Turning you into a zombie over something like that seems a little harsh. It’s not as if you meant to do it, I’m sure.”
He gave her a rueful look. “Actually, I did.”
She frowned. “What do you mean, you meant to break her heart? Why would you do that?”
“Remember on our first date when I told you I didn’t like the kind of person I was turning into when I worked on Wall Street? Well, I wasn’t just greedy and arrogant. I was a womanizing bastard, too.”
“Go on,” she prompted when he hesitated.
“I met Cia Devereaux at Graystone and Burke. She was a pretty college intern working there for the summer. I didn’t pay much attention to her until one of the brokers I worked with bet me a hundred dollars I couldn’t get her into my bed. He said he’d tried and she turned him down, saying she was saving herself for marriage. I didn’t need his money, but being the asshole I was back then, I took him up on the bet anyway. Just to prove I was better than he was.”
Simone found it hard to believe Drake could ever be so cruel. It just didn’t seem like him. A part of her wanted to tell him to stop right there, that she didn’t want to know any more, but she needed to hear the rest. She needed to understand why the woman had cursed him. “What happened?”
Drake swallowed hard. “I approached the task like I did any other challenge in those days, with drive and determination. I wooed Cia like she was a princess and made her think I was smitten with her. I made her think she was the girl who could turn a big-city playboy like me into a devoted boyfriend. I used every romantic trick in the book to do it, too—intimate dinners at fancy restaurants, romantic picnic lunches in Central Park, late nights working together in my office. My plan worked perfectly and she fell for it. Unfortunately, she also fell for me. She even confessed her love for me the night we had sex. The idea she might fall in love with me had never even entered my mind. I was used to women who were as cavalier about going to bed with someone as I was. I didn’t even feel bad for her when I dumped her the next day at work.”
He shook his head. “I thought she’d throw a coffee mug at me, call me a bastard and be done with it. But instead, she burst into tears right there in my office. From the way she started sobbing, I thought she was going to have a complete nervous breakdown. I didn’t have a clue how to deal with her, so I took an early lunch and let my secretary handle it. By the time I got back, Cia had left Graystone and Burke for good. The thought I had hurt her barely even registered with me. I had proven I was a better Casanova than my coworker and won my lousy hundred bucks. I look back now with nothing but revulsion over what I did. Cia was a sweet, naïve girl and I destroyed her just to win a bet.”
Simone chewed on her lower lip, regarding him thoughtfully. Even though Drake was no longer the cruel, selfish jerk he was back then, she could understand why the girl’s grandmother had been angry enough to do what she did.
“As you can imagine, my life went to crap after I was cursed,” he continued. “I didn’t even know what was wrong with me until some woman at a Voodoo shop in Brooklyn told me I’d been turned into a zombie. I would have done anything to be normal again, but according to the woman at the shop, the priestess who put the curse on me was the only one who could remove it and I was never able to find her. Since then, I’ve lived the life of a recluse, trapped in my apartment and having barely any contact with the outside world.”
Drake paused to give her an earnest look. “What I did to that poor woman was reprehensible, Simone, but I was a different person back then. I didn’t care about anything but money and power and all the things that went along with them. I’m not that same man now. You have to believe that.”
“I know you aren’t,” she said softly.
While she was disgusted by what he’d done to Cia Devereaux, Simone couldn’t help but feel her heart go out to Drake. Because of what he did, he’d been forced to live in seclusion for the past eight years like some sort of outcast. That must have been terrible for him. She couldn’t imagine going without normal human interaction for so long. She wondered what made him decide to deviate from his routine and go out with her.
“What made you agree to meet me for coffee that day?” she asked quietly.
The corner of his blackened mouth edged up. “When we talked on the net, you made me feel almost normal again. You can’t imagine how good that was. When you asked me out for coffee, I couldn’t say no.”
Despite how he looked, the words tugged at her heart. “You took a huge chance. How did you know you wouldn’t turn into a zombie right there in the middle of our date?”
“I didn’t. But the episodes have been getting pretty regular and I can usually feel when I’m going to turn. Plus, I brought a mirror with me.”
She gave him a small smile. “I saw you checking yourself out. I thought you were just really vain.”
He snorted. “I wish that’s all it was. Beck was waiting around the corner in his car. He was supposed to get me out of there if it looked as if I was about to turn.”
Her eyes went wide. “Your friend Beck knows you’re a zombie? And he’s okay with it?”
Drake nodded. “He’s known for years. His friendship has been one of the few things that have kept me sane.”
Simone thought of her own friends. While they were all great, she wondered how many of them would hang around if they found out she was a zombie. That said a lot about the type of person Beck must be.
Her brow furrowed as a thought suddenly occurred to her. “The other night when you called and said you couldn’t come over for dinner. It wasn’t because you had to help a friend, was it? It was because you’d turned into a zombie.”
He nodded.
Simone chewed on her lower lip as she looked him over from head to toe. Even his feet were zombified. “So, is this as zombie as you get?”
“Pretty much.”
“Are you like that,” she gestured toward him, “everywhere?”
“Yeah.”
She’d been afraid of that. “Do you eat…brains?”
“No, definitely not.”
That was a relief. “When you’re like this, are you…you know…alive?”
“Do I have a heartbeat, you mean?”
She nodded.
“No. I don’t have a heartbeat or any blood flow. But I’m not dead in the same way those zombies that came to your apartment are. I don’t need to breathe or eat or anything like that, but I can still think and talk and feel.” His mouth quirked. “Hell, sometimes I even run on the treadmill when I’m a zombie. I’m not sure if it improves my fitness, but it helps pass the time.”
The image of Drake jogging on the treadmill—or doing anything else for that matter—while he looked
like he did was something she never, ever wanted to visualize again.
He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “Simone, I know you’re freaked out, but I’m still the same guy who spent the weekend making love to you.” He winced. “Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best thing to bring up while I look like this. But what I’m trying to say is that I care about you and I don’t want what I am to come between us.”
Simone swallowed hard. The words were so heartfelt she wanted to throw herself into Drake’s arms and tell him it wouldn’t come between them. It wasn’t as if she’d just found out he was a vegetarian or something, though. He was a zombie. She cared about him, too, but she wasn’t sure if she could deal with that.
Drake was regarding her expectantly, his eyes full of anguish. As much as she wanted to tell him what he wanted to hear, she couldn’t make herself say the words. Tears suddenly clogged her throat and she choked back a sob.
“I…I need some time alone,” she murmured.
Before he could stop her, Simone got to her feet and made a beeline for the door. She didn’t even realize she still had the poker in her hand until she was outside on the deck. Tightening her grip on it, she turned to look over her shoulder, half afraid she’d see Drake coming after her. But he was still sitting on the couch, his head bent, his shoulders slumped as if in defeat. The image was so heart wrenching it was all she could do not to go back inside and comfort him.
Though it hurt her to see him looking so despondent, Simone kept her distance from Drake for the rest of the day. Not because she was afraid of him, but because she couldn’t bring herself to be in the same room with him looking like he did.
Around sunset, however, she couldn’t stay out on the deck for much longer. Not only was it getting dark, but she was starting to get hungry, too. That little bit of cereal she’d snacked on earlier was long gone.
Picking up the poker, Simone got up from the Adirondack chair and walked over to the door. She didn’t go inside right away, though. Instead, she gazed at Drake through the glass. He was still sitting on the couch, staring down at the floor. He didn’t look as if he’d moved from that spot all day.
Simone took a deep breath and opened the door. Drake lifted his head as she walked in. To her relief, he was almost back to normal, the dark circles under his eyes the only reminder he had been a zombie. She could almost believe she’d imagined the whole thing. But she knew better.
“It’s getting dark,” she said. The words sounded stiff, almost forced, and she cleared her throat to cover up how uncomfortable she felt. “I thought I’d make something to eat.” She didn’t look at him as she walked into the kitchen. “Peanut butter and jelly okay?”
God, that sounded so normal, as if they were just a regular couple about to have dinner. They were anything but a normal couple.
She set down the poker, leaning it up against the wall beside the fireplace, then went over to the kitchen sink and washed her hands. Behind her, she heard Drake get to his feet and walk into the kitchen, too. She stiffened, then immediately chided herself. Underneath that zombie exterior, Drake was still the same man. He said he’d never hurt her and she believed him. Or at least she wanted to.
That thought didn’t stop her from looking over her shoulder to see where he was and what he was doing. But he was only leaning back against the kitchen counter, his arms folded across his broad chest. She waited for him to say something, but he simply gazed out the window while she made the sandwiches.
To say dinner was awkward was an understatement. Neither she nor Drake spoke the entire time. Drake didn’t even comment about the glass of fat-free milk she’d poured for him. He’d complained incessantly at the grocery store about getting that kind of milk instead of regular. The silence got so uncomfortable Simone actually fidgeted in her seat a few times and she was glad when they finally finished eating.
Though Simone wanted to help Drake wash the dishes, the awkwardness of the situation made even something as mundane as that difficult. So instead, she murmured something about going to bed. After spending the better part of the weekend making love, it seemed odd to expect him to sleep on the couch, but despite wanting him to come to bed with her, she was relieved when he didn’t join her.
Once in the bedroom, Simone closed the door and leaned back against it, tears welling in her eyes. What was she going to do? Yesterday, before the whole stupid zombie thing had happened, she thought Drake might be “The One.” But how could she be with a man who was a zombie half the time? How could she be that understanding? She hadn’t been able to make it work with the psychiatrist who was obsessive compulsive. She hadn’t been able to make it work with the guy who lived at home with his mom. She hadn’t been able to make it work with the guy who was chronically unemployed.
So, how the hell was she supposed to make it work with a guy who was dead on a part-time basis?
Chapter Twelve
Drake rested his forearms on the railing that lined the deck of the cabin and stared out at the woods unseeingly. Even though it was almost noon, Simone hadn’t come out of the bedroom yet. He wanted to think it was because she was still sleeping, but he knew better. She was avoiding him. That knowledge hurt, especially after the two glorious days they’d spent together. Last night, he thought the pain of losing her would lessen come morning, but he’d been wrong. If anything, it was even more agonizing. It was as if he had died inside.
Once again, he had no one but himself to blame for his pain. He knew from the very beginning that trying to have a relationship with Simone could never work out. But he’d gotten caught up in the moment and convinced himself that somehow it would work. Well, it hadn’t. Simone had discovered what he was and she was repulsed by him.
The look of horror on her face when he walked out of the bathroom yesterday had been almost more than he could take. Even though he knew nothing he said would erase the image of him looking like a zombie from her mind, he’d hoped she might be able to see past the ugliness to the man he was underneath all that decaying skin. But instead she’d withdrawn from him. It had taken everything in him not to get down on his knees and beg her not to shut him out of her life. The only thing that stopped him had been the knowledge that it was too late. Her mind had been all but made up the moment she’d looked at him.
He dropped his head and shoved his hands through his hair. Staying here now was never going to work, not when Simone couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him. But what was the alternative? He couldn’t let her go back to her apartment until he knew it was safe. He was stuck here protecting a woman who was disgusted by the sight of him.
He wished now he hadn’t let Beck talk him into going out for coffee with Simone. Drake knew Beck had only been trying to help, but he felt more alone now than he had when this whole mess started eight years ago. The things he’d lost back then hadn’t been important, not compared to Simone. In losing her, he’d lost something that was impossible to put a value on. He didn’t know how he was going to go back to the way he’d lived for the past eight years, puttering around his empty apartment writing his financial column and editing romance books. There just didn’t seem any point to it now.
Drake was still trying to figure out what he was going to do when the door to the cabin opened and Simone stepped outside. He straightened up and slowly turned to face her. He waited for her to say something, but she just stood there, hugging herself with her arms and looking anywhere but at him. He wondered why she’d come out. Maybe she just needed some fresh air after being cooped up inside the cabin all morning. He supposed he should give her a little space.
He cleared his throat. “You probably want to be alone.”
Drake headed for the door, expecting her to give him a wide berth as he passed, but to his surprise, she reached out and put a gentle hand on his arm.
“Stay.”
He stopped in mid-step. Although her hand was pleasantly warm on his skin, her touch was bittersweet. He hadn’t thought he’d ever feel it
again, but at the same time, it reminded him of what he had lost. Even so, he was still sorry when she moved her hand away.
She took a deep breath. “I did a lot of thinking last night.”
He stiffened. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say it. I know that after what happened yesterday, things are different between us and that the last place you want to be right now is stuck in this cabin with me. But you’re still in danger, which means you can’t go back to the city, and I really don’t want you staying here alone. I haven’t thought all this out yet, but my friend Beck is going to be back from Louisiana today. As soon as he gets up here, I can ask him to stay with you until we figure out what to do next. You only have to put up with me until then.”
Her brow furrowed. “I don’t want Beck to stay with me.”
“I realize you don’t know him, but you’ll be safe with him. I promise.”
“Drake, it’s not that.” She took a step closer. “I don’t want you to leave.”
It was his turn to frown. “You don’t?”
She shook her head. “Like I said, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I’ll admit I was freaked out yesterday when you came out of the bathroom. I mean, it was a little hard to take in all at once. But since then, I’ve had a chance to think about everything.”
Hearing her say it out loud was more than he could take right now. “Simone, you don’t have to tell me any of this. I know how you feel about me.”
She gave him an annoyed look. “No, you don’t. Now, let me talk.”
He braced himself, but held his tongue.
“Okay.” She took a deep breath. “You’re a zombie. I get that. And I won’t lie and say this is going to be easy to deal with. But what I have with you is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced with another guy. You’re completely different.”
“That goes without saying,” he put in dryly. “I’m a zombie.”
She looked so frustrated he thought she might actually stomp her foot. “Will you stop interrupting me? I’m trying to say something important here.”
