“If you want me to stop, don’t encourage me,” he said huskily. His arousal sought and pressed.
“I’m not encouraging you. I’m lying here waiting for you to leave.”
“You’re lying beneath me as wet as a September day. You want me, Starling. Admit it.”
Her every thought seemed to be centered between her legs. The slick sensation of him sliding against her provoked a swollen, throbbing need. She tightened her face, her breathing, and every emotion she had. “No. You did this, not me.” She pushed his shoulders, hard. “You can’t do this. It wasn’t in our agreement.”
“Don’t be a half-wit. If you want to fuck and I want to, what can an agreement made almost a week ago matter?”
“It mattered yesterday.”
“I didn’t want you to go.”
“And we both know why, don’t we? You can’t change everything to suit yourself. You know I only agreed to pretend to be your wife because you promised this wouldn’t happen.”
He pushed with his arms, moving his body farther down hers. The top of his head rested on her collarbone and a far safer part of him nestled between her legs.
“I don’t think I’ll give you a baby,” he said. “But if I do, I won’t desert you. I’ll support you and the child.”
“In luxury, I suppose?” Perhaps her father had said these same words to her mother. Perhaps every man said this to every woman.
“In comfort. But it won’t happen. Between what you know and what I’m prepared to do, we won’t conceive a child.”
“I don’t know what you’re prepared to do, but I do know that you won’t be given an opportunity to conceive a child with me.”
“You’re a hard woman.” His thumb caressed her hip bone. “But I’m a determined man.”
“I won’t change my mind. I’m illegitimate. I’d be the last person to wish that state on another.” She dragged against him and he lifted to let her leave. “Besides that, you don’t interest me,” she added shakily, watching as he made himself comfortable on his own side of the bed.
He put both arms beneath his head on the pillow. With the sheet covering him only to the waist, she saw how his movement changed his body shape. His abdomen tightened and his chest expanded as if he had transposed most of his muscles to that area. She averted her eyes when he smiled.
“All right. Luxury. It’s hypothetical, after all, and if you want luxury for yourself and my child, you can have luxury. Now, we’ll have to define luxury.”
At that moment, Ellen knocked at the door. Neither spoke until she entered, then only Starling spoke. “Good morning.”
Ellen glanced at Alasdair, but he had pulled the sheet to his chin and appeared to be asleep. “Good morning,” she whispered.
“No need to whisper. He’s faking.”
“I’m not. I’m fast asleep,” he answered, sounding disgruntled. “I never speak to Ellen in the morning. She’d die of shock.”
“I would,” Ellen said. “It’s too early to talk.”
“That’s a shame. I want to discuss luxury.” Starling sat up. “I wonder if it’s anything like this, lying in bed while someone cooks breakfast.”
“That would be my idea of luxury,” Ellen answered. “That or staying in bed all day. You’ve run out of soap. I won’t be long.” She left the hot water on the tallboy and closed the door.
“I like Ellen’s second idea. How about it, Starling?” Alasdair reached over toward Starling with a hopelessly lewd expression on his face. He tugged her ankles, one in each hand, and insinuated his upper body between her legs. “Luxury indeed,” he murmured, tightening her heels around his back.
Still upright, she angled her knees together, letting them press against his chest. “Stop it. She’ll be back.”
“Not for a few minutes.” Dropping his hold on her feet, he ran his hands up her legs to her knees, which he pushed apart easily. Without any warning, he dipped his head between her legs. She gasped. His tongue stroked where his male part had been. The delicious rasp transfixed her. She experienced the glory of the wetness and the excitement of knowing he wanted to taste her. Oh, luxury indeed, but one she couldn’t allow. Flushed and throbbing, she jerked backward and fell out of bed.
She picked herself up, shot him an accusing stare, and marched over to the hook behind the door. Totally defiant, she lifted off his green silk robe and covered herself. In that time, he did nothing but lie on his stomach in the bed.
He turned and sat up. “You’re right,” he said. “You do look good in cool colors.”
“You always change the subject when you’ve done something wrong.”
His mouth twisted wryly. “You know me rather better than I’d hoped, but is it so bad to want to give you pleasure? I think you’ve had little enough of it. If you don’t want me inside you, I can bring you to climax with my mouth. That won’t give you a child. If you’d relax for a moment, I’d—” He stopped speaking when he heard the door handle turn.
Starling quickly moved to the doorway and took the soap Ellen held. “Thank you,” she said, hearing her voice as a throaty whisper.
The maid closed the door again.
Climax? What did he mean? Climax meant turning point, but Starling hadn’t heard that word before in relation to intimate congress. Perhaps the turning point came when men spilled their seed, but she didn’t spill seed, or if she did Meg had never told her that part. But Meg had told her everything. She knew men. And they were all the same.
“I am relaxed. It’s just you. I don’t like you touching me.” She straightened her back, tensed her jaw, and went behind the screen to wash.
“You can lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me.” The bed squeaked and the wardrobe door opened. As she poured the water, he asked, “Can you ride?”
“Horses?”
“Yes, Starling. Horses.” He loomed behind her. “It would be nice to get away from the others today.”
“I was brought up in an orphanage. When I left there, I worked at the inn. I’ve seen horses—in fact, I’ve even patted one—but I’ve never had a need to ride. Anyhow, I will be getting away from the others today. I promised to go over and see Tammy.”
“You’re not being indiscreet while you’re at the Burdons’, I hope. Children seem to pick up on the strangest things, and Tammy’s a talker.”
“I know that.” She turned around to look at him. He’d partially dressed. Just when she’d steeled herself to cope with his naked pecker, he’d hidden that interesting part from her. “We don’t discuss much more than men, politics, and religion.”
“Men? The child’s six. You can’t talk to her about men.”
“She brought up the subject. She needs someone to help her decide between her two swains and she asked her dolls’ opinions, but I believe neither of them helped much. So, she consulted me. I agreed that you’re brave, but I could see her dilemma. Derry is extremely handsome and he does have fair hair.”
“You think Derry’s handsome, do you?”
She smiled. “And he has the added appeal of great strength. I have it on the highest authority that he can carry a girl around on his shoulders for hours. It would be hard to beat that. A man like him would be easy to fall in love with.”
“He’s courting Ellen,” Alasdair said tersely. His face tensed and his eyes glittered.
“I believe you’re jealous.”
“You’re mine until the end of next week. Don’t go looking at Derry, and don’t go trying to steal him from Ellen. He fell in love with her the moment he saw her, and he’d only want you for the same reason I do.”
Her face drained. “Thank you.”
“Don’t fool yourself, Starling. He loves her. When she first arrived at this house, he spent every spare moment with her, and he’s the one who helped her to cope with her disability. If you come between them I’ll—” He didn’t finish. Instead, he grabbed her by the upper arms and lifted her toward him. Because his eyes stared at her mouth,
she thought he might kiss her, which hardly seemed a punishment, but he didn’t. He breathed deeply and let her go. “If I find out you’ve been carrying on with anyone else, I won’t pay you. You were hired to be a faithful wife to me.”
“I don’t remember that being in our original terms.”
“I’d hardly want a wife who rutted with the gardener. If I find out you’re playing around with Derry, I’ll make life very difficult for you, make no mistake.”
Chapter 14
The sun glittered on the gum trees’ new orange leaf tips. In the shade, a few black lilies bloomed. A tiny flowering creeper, splashed with slender mauve flowers, had twined around the shrubs growing on the banks of the trickling River Torrens.
Tammy, dressed in a blue dress and a darker blue bonnet, clung to Starling’s hand. “Where did the well go?”
“It’s there, but Mr. Seymour had a cover nailed on top. He doesn’t want any other little girl to fall in.” Starling toed the fractured brick edging, which, along with the few nailed planks, was the only indication that a well lurked beneath. The tunnel had been filled but a pile of muddy soil still sat between the digging and the well. “He was very upset when he heard his favorite girl had hurt herself.”
“Am I really his favorite girl?” Tammy hopped from foot to foot.
“I would think so. He doesn’t buy sweets for me.”
“’S’pect I’ll have to marry him when I grow up.”
“Would that be fair on Derry? Aren’t you afraid you’ll break his heart?”
Tammy scooped up a handful of soil. The dry dirt drifted away. Wrinkling her nose, she pulled off the sling supporting her left arm. “Between you and me, Miss Starling,” she said wiping her hands against each other, “I think he’s forgotten me. He likes your princess more.”
Starling put Tammy’s arm back into the sling. “You need to let your bone heal, dear heart. Let it rest.”
Tammy gave a grown-up sigh of resignation. “You women. Always nagging. S’pect the princess never nags. That’s why Derry likes her. Do you like her?” She raised her large blue eyes to Starling’s.
“Just between you and me, Tammy,” Starling answered, wavering between truth and tact. “I try. She can be very nice, but princesses don’t think the way we do. Remember the princess who couldn’t sleep with the pea under her mattress? She was very rude to her hosts. And the princess who wanted the frog to give back her ball wasn’t very kind. Both those princesses had to change their behavior before the handsome prince fell in love with them.”
“Derry kisses her on her neck.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“He kisses her on her neck. I saw him. But I s’pect he was only thanking her because she helped him with his trousers. There’s Mr. Seymour.” Tammy took her arm out of the sling again and waved. “If he comes over, would you ask him?”
Starling sucked in a breath. Had the child confirmed that Lavender was dallying with Ellen’s swain? “Ask him? Oh, no. I really don’t think we should speak about Derry kissing princesses.”
“Ask him if he’ll take me for a ride on his horse,” Tammy answered loftily. “My arm’s better, truly.”
Her chest still fluttering, Starling nodded. “Oh, of course.”
Alasdair pulled up his horse a few feet away. “Now, Miss Burdon, you keep away from that well. I don’t want you frightening me half to death again.”
“I frightened me a little bit, too.” Tammy tugged on Starling’s bile yellow and brown gown. “Ask him.”
Starling brushed at the smudge Tammy had left on her skirt, though she knew no one would notice dirt on the brown material. She cleared her throat. “Miss Burdon would like to grant you one favor, to repay you for saving her life. She would, she says, ride with you.”
Alasdair grinned and nodded. “Miss Burdon, please step up here.”
Starling lifted Tammy to Alasdair. He took the child from her. “What’s his name?” Tammy asked as she tangled her fingers in the horses’ mane.
“Comet.” Alasdair put one arm either side of the child and crossed the reins in front. “Hold here, Princess.”
“I’m not a princess anymore,” she said as the horse ambled in the direction of the Burdons’ house. “Miss Starling says some princesses are rude and some aren’t very kind. I think I’ll be a fairy instead. I’m about the right size, aren’t I?” Her voice trailed into the distance.
Breath bated, Starling stood while Alasdair reached the perimeter of the Burdons’ property. She began to breathe again when he handed Tammy over to the waiting housemaid. Because he smiled courteously, Starling had to believe that Tammy hadn’t told about Derry and Lavender. After Tammy had skipped beside the maid through the gate in the fence, Alasdair turned his horse and urged the gelding into a controlled canter back to Starling.
As he drew closer, he called, “The Jackworthys are visiting. I’m afraid you can’t compete with an eight year old. Tammy wants to see Helen, a person she truly admires.” His horse loomed beside Starling and circled.
“I suppose I’ll go home then.” Starling indicated the wooden cover of the well. “In a few years this will rot. Until it’s filled in, the well will always be a danger.”
“I’ll get Derry onto the job.”
Starling began to walk back to the house, a little overpowered by the tall horse ranging beside her.
“Why don’t you come for a ride with me?”
“I told you I can’t ride.”
“I can teach you.”
“I don’t need to be taught. I don’t need to ride.”
“I’m bored. I don’t usually take so much time off work, and I wouldn’t have unless I had recently married a pretty young bride who needs my attention. Therefore, it’s your responsibility to indulge me, Starling.”
She frowned. “How long will it take?”
“About half an hour. There’s not much to riding other than practice.”
“Half an hour? I suppose I can spare half an hour to alleviate your boredom.”
He reined his horse to a halt. “We’ll go upriver. It’s more private past that area of scrubland.”
“Now, why would we want privacy?” She placed her fists on her hips.
“Put your foot here.” He held out a stirrup with his foot. “I’ll help you up.”
“This is a trick. I’m not going anywhere private with you.”
“It’s not a trick. Put your foot here and grab my arm.”
“I’m sure I shouldn’t trust you.” With a resigned sigh, she put her foot on his, grabbed his arm, and almost had hers jerked out of its socket when he pulled her up behind him. “Well, I don’t know how I did that,” she said, amazed when she found herself settled over the horse’s rump, one leg either side. She eased forward, trying to tug her skirts down, but they covered her knees and wouldn’t stretch any further.
“See?” He sounded smug. “That’s why we need privacy. I don’t want the locals looking at my wife’s legs.”
“I’m not your wife.”
The horse took a step. Starling lurched and grabbed Alasdair’s jacket.
“You are for the next week. Put your arms around me. You’ll crease my jacket with that death grip.”
She gripped him around his waist. With every step the horse took she grew more insecure because the stride had a toppling sway. As soon as she became accustomed to the motion, Alasdair made the animal change pace. She bounced against him and back. “I’m going to fall,” she squeaked in his ear.
“Not without me,” he said over his shoulder. “Hang on tight and we’ll both stay put.”
He soon reached his destination upriver and reined the horse to a walk. He stopped when he found a clearing surrounded by gums. With his right leg over the head of the horse, he slid off, leaving her sitting behind the saddle. “Don’t leave me,” she said, her heart thumping, clutching the leather seat.
“Scoot forward into the saddle.” He picked u
p the reins, doubled them across the horse’s withers, and held them bunched. After she’d settled herself into a more comfortable position, she dragged her skirts beneath her bottom but still couldn’t manage to cover more than her knees. He put the reins into her hands.
From there everything went from bad to worse. He shortened the stirrups, forced her feet into them, “Heels down, back straight,” and made her ride by herself. She knew she shouldn’t have trusted him. By the time her spine knew every bone and her body had forgotten everything but the motion of a horse, she had horse hairs growing from her sweaty hands and she’d rubbed blisters into her inner thighs. Not only that, but she could make the horse stop and start, turn in circles, and go faster when she had the presence of mind to cling tightly. And instead of walking beside her and telling her exactly what to do, Alasdair now leaned under a tree and watched, arms crossed over his chest.
“Is half an hour up yet? If I’m tired, I don’t know how this horse feels.”
Alasdair glanced at the sun. “It must be almost midday.”
“Midday? If it is, I’ve been doing this for two hours.”
“Thereabouts.”
“You said it only took half an hour to learn to ride.”
“You learnt how to ride in the first half hour. You’ve just been practicing.”
She lifted her chin and encouraged the horse to walk toward him. However, the horse would neither stand on Alasdair’s feet, although he made no attempt to move them, nor knock him over. Instead, the silly creature gave him a whuffly kiss.
“I fail to understand why children and animals like you. Those of us with a little more sense can see you as you are.” With that, she swung her right leg over the back of the horse and tried to drop down.
That action made Alasdair grab the horse quickly. “Don’t ever get off a horse like that,” he said, tersely. “Take both feet out of the stirrups first.”
“Everyone gets off that way.” She balanced on her right foot because the horse had moved from where she landed and her left foot had somehow snagged in the stirrup leather.
“Should the horse not stand completely still, you’ll be dragged by the leg, as you can see at the moment. Occasionally, even the best-trained mount will move off when the weight on their back shifts. If anything happens to startle it at that moment, you’re in trouble.”
Starling Page 15
