He pretended a smile, like her presence hadn’t fazed him in the least, though agitation swirled in his stomach. Then he made a point to sit next to Brian, who put himself at the opposite end of the table. Grandda wouldn’t dare comment about that, not after their conversation about welcoming his cousin the other day. Though Mom made her dissatisfaction known with a pointed glance and a tilt to her chin. He ignored it.
So be it. If they wanted to play games, he’d double down.
As dinner went on, the usual chaos of Sunday family meals overshadowed the awkwardness of taking a group meal with the woman who’d ripped out his heart and moved back to town, rubbing it in his face.
Benjamin let out a squeal and squashed sweet potato in his hair, with some smeared across his forehead. Mom laughed, so did Dad. Even Conor had to admit the kid was cute. Big blue eyes and pudgy pink cheeks ensured that.
When Conor had studied the boy long enough, refusing to let his mind wander about who his father was and what the story could be, he made the mistake of scanning to the chair next to the booster seat. He found Shelby watching him and, as their gazes settled on each other, something popped in his chest. Not good. But she gave a smile that could only be interpreted as further truce. How could he not accept it? He couldn’t begin to guess the story behind the story, so until he knew, he’d just have to cut her some slack, if only to make his life bearable.
With the last bite of his chicken parmigiana he let go of another small piece of resentment and regret where Shelby was concerned. Which surprised him, but she’d probably had it really tough over the last couple of years. Why make things worse for her now, and what good would holding on to the negative feelings do?
“Brian,” Grandda said. “You will appreciate this story. Your cousins Daniel, Mark and Conor once saved a selkie.”
That was the excuse Conor needed to get away. He glanced at his watch, then down the table at his mother, who now held Benjamin on her lap. Before his grandfather could start in on fate and why Shelby came home, taking a job at the family restaurant, he’d leave. His official meal break was almost up, and he’d taken all he could in forced proximity with Shelby, and his family, too, for one evening. The group matchmaking business had to stop.
He stood. “Dinner was great, and now, if you’ll all excuse me, I need to get back to work.”
Before he made it to the door, someone came up alongside him. It was Shelby.
“Mind if I walk you to the squad car?”
She seemed to be bending over backward to get him to talk to her again. Did she really expect him to open up? It wasn’t like he could say no, not with his parents and siblings watching expectantly from across the room. “If you want to, sure.”
They stepped outside into the cool night, and she shivered. His first thought was to put his arm around her, but he refused. If she wanted to join him, she’d have to fend for herself. He headed toward the beach parking lot and his squad car.
“How long have you been working at Sandpiper Beach Sheriff’s Department?”
“Going on five years now.”
She scratched her cheek quickly, noticeable goose flesh on her arms. “Mark said something about you being engaged last year?”
His step stuttered, but he continued toward his car. She kept pace. “Not true. I thought about it, but…” The last thing he wanted was for Shelby to see how screwed up he’d become because of her. “We didn’t turn out to be compatible.” True translation: Elena had gotten tired of him never opening up or truly sharing anything with her, like he refused to do now with Shelby.
“What do you do on your days off?”
“Do you have something specific you wanted to talk about?” They’d arrived at his car and he pulled out the fob to unlock the door.
“I’m just trying to get a conversation going.”
Why? “But I’ve got to get back to work.” Still, that stopped him. How did he spend his time off work? Or had work become his twenty-four-hour distraction? “Not much. Run. Go to the gym.”
“Do you still hike?” She didn’t back down, just stood right in front of him as he opened the car door.
“Yeah. In fact, Mom’s talked me into leading some nature hikes for the hotel guests on weekends, if anyone signs up and I’m off duty.”
“I have tomorrow off and I heard your mother mention you also had Monday off, so I was hoping you’d consider meeting me for a hike tomorrow morning. Say at seven? Remember the trail we used to really like to take to the top of Shoreline Cliffs?” She looked sincere as hell, and it made him completely uncomfortable, or maybe that had more to do with the cold air and the thin fabric of her top spotlighting how her breasts had peaked. He tried not to notice.
“Mark and I recently took that hike. We were looking for Laurel’s son, Peter. He’d run off without telling anyone where he was going.” The mountain had a 180-degree view of the ocean. “Why, Shelby?” All efforts were currently fixed on keeping his eyes off her chest.
She seemed hesitant about what she should say. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
Did he really want to know the story behind her pregnancy, if that was where she was going with the lead-in? Or what if she pushed a second-chance angle? No way could he deal with that right now.
After a moment of strained silence, Conor reconnected with Shelby’s gaze. She waited expectantly. He could tell it had taken a lot for her to run after him. Now, like he’d done the other day by asking her out for breakfast, she seemed to be working up to some kind of peace offering. Though he was completely unsure about whether this would be a wise decision or not, the silent pleading in her eyes convinced him to listen. She needed to get something off her chest. Whether he wanted to hear it or not, he had a right to know the whole story.
If that was what she was offering.
He glanced at his watch. Constrained by time and the need to get back on the job, he cut to the chase. “Okay. Seven it is.”
He couldn’t exactly identify her expression as relieved, maybe there was a hint of panic mixed in, but regardless, they’d just made a date to hike tomorrow morning.
“Okay,” she said. “See you then.”
Now all Conor had to do was not fixate all night on what the “something” she needed to tell him was.
Chapter Four
Benjamin had been fussy when Shelby had put him to bed. He’d been acting up during most of the Delaney family dinner, too. Maureen didn’t seem to mind holding him nearly nonstop during smiles and tears. Maybe she was practicing for her first grandbaby, due any day now. It had been a nice break for Shelby.
At 3 a.m. he cried and felt feverish. He was working on his second baby molars, and the first molars had caused a boatload of grief, along with sleepless nights. Holding and soothing her boy with one arm and drawing up the trusted toddler pain and fever medicine with the other, she knew the drill. She’d been a single mother since the start of his perfect little life. Tonight, she was alone again, since her mother had planned a short trip up the coast knowing it was Shelby’s one day off.
Once Benjamin had been born, she’d missed too many nights at work and lost her sous-chef job. She’d scrambled and found another part-time job, but had to live with two other roommates to make ends meet. The stress of keeping her boy quiet while the roommates slept, or vice versa, had turned her into an insomniac and nearly given her ulcers. It also lost her a roommate or two or three along the way.
For the first six months of Benjamin’s life, she’d felt like a zombie. Yet pride kept her from moving home. She was determined to prove she could handle life on her own while pursuing her dream, so she settled for roommates who were willing to put up with her and Benjamin. Then, at thirteen months, he got his first bout of bronchitis and she lost her part-time job. Out of desperation, she’d contacted Laurent and asked for help. He’d sent her some money, but asked her never to contact him again. He lived in France, and she couldn’t afford a lawyer to pursue more help from him. Life couldn’t hav
e gotten any lower.
One of the pediatric nurses who’d gotten to know her over the month it took to get Benjamin better told her about a little café that was looking for a cook. The nurse had thought the owner might be willing to let Shelby bring her baby to work with her.
The suggestion turned out to be a godsend. Getting up at the crack of dawn was Benjamin’s favorite thing to do, and the grandmotherly café owner even provided a playpen that converted to a bed for his naps. Most of the time, though, she’d used the baby carrier her mother had sent, which allowed Benjamin to peek over her shoulder while she cooked the short orders four hours a day. Her generous employer even provided a tiny apartment upstairs where they could stay for a minimal fee. Then, six months later, Mrs. Greenblatt passed away, and her out-of-state children closed and sold the small and tattered café.
Unable to find another job where she could bring Benjamin, because the cost of childcare was crazy, she was forced to come home…and face her past.
She couldn’t expect her mother to support them. She needed to find a job and Mark Delaney had been looking for a new chef. It was either that or apply for another short-order job at the Bee Bop Diner. Long-held guilt over standing Conor up had weighed her down, but she’d needed a job, and coming home was only a detour, so she’d applied.
Now she’d have to cancel with Conor.
As soon as it was a decent enough hour, she’d tell him, so he wouldn’t chalk this up as her being a flake again. If she could keep her eyes open that long. Benjamin had fallen back to sleep.
*
Conor normally loved early morning hikes, but he dreaded this one, since he’d have to face Shelby alone. She’d insisted she needed to tell him something. What more did he need to know other than that she’d gotten pregnant when they were supposed to meet again? When they’d made their plans to meet in four years, they tried to be realistic. Four years was a long time, so they’d agreed it would be okay to date. In fact, in one bedside conversation back then, feeling all sophisticated, they’d decided seeing other people was only logical. Pregnancy had never entered his mind, but he’d agreed to the terms. After all, it was four years, and dating would help them know if they were meant to be together. Or not. Her having a kid changed everything.
So where did that leave him today? He’d agreed to go on the hike, but he could still call with some lame excuse and cancel. How could she possibly protest when she’d done it to him? Truth was, the less time he spent around her the better he’d feel.
He reached for his cell phone, even while chiding himself for being a coward, just as it rang.
“Conor, it’s Shelby.” Maybe she agreed with his line of thinking. “Benjamin woke up with a fever earlier and now his chest is congested. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to cancel.”
The hotel chef position offered health care, but she’d only just started and things like that took time. “Sorry to hear that. Does he need to see a doctor?”
“Yes. I’ll have to take him to the emergency room, I guess.”
So her medical care hadn’t kicked in yet. From experience as a law enforcement officer, he knew the best and worst places for medical care around the county. One of the urgent care clinics catered to pediatrics if he remembered correctly from the social workers, where the kids from foster care had gotten great care. “I can give you an address for one of the better clinics, if you’d like.”
“Let me get a pen and paper.” Benjamin howled in the background. “It’s okay, honey, Mommy’s going to take care of you.” Concern and stress accentuated each of her words, and it didn’t seem to soothe Benjamin a bit.
A pang of something he didn’t want anything to do with squeezed his chest. “Your mom going to drive?” His mouth didn’t get the memo quick enough.
“Actually, she’s away today. She knew I had the day off.”
Ah, geez. Yet she didn’t sound desperate, just concerned, and she’d been a mom for two years now. And she wasn’t asking for his help, just stating the facts. Wasn’t that what he liked—just the facts? Besides, this couldn’t be their first time visiting an urgent care. Still, that pang wouldn’t let up; in fact it had changed to needling.
Mark had mentioned that Mrs. Brookes had been helping with her grandson’s childcare. Bad timing or luck about today, though. The boy’s crying was disturbing and the sound twisted around Conor’s chest. He could only imagine how Shelby must feel. Alone. With a sick kid.
“Listen, let me take you. It’s probably not a good idea for you to drive while you’re distracted.” Dude, the “not a good idea” is getting involved!
“Thanks, but we’ll be okay.”
There was his out, but she didn’t sound the least bit convincing, more like just being polite, and he used to know Shelby through and through. She wouldn’t ask for help, even if her house was on fire. But he swore he’d heard a tiny quiver in her voice.
“Stay there, I’m on my way.”
Dude!
*
Forty minutes later, Shelby, Benjamin and Conor sat on a row of teal-colored plastic scoop-styled seats in an out-of-the-way urgent care all the way across town toward the inland mountains. Determined to take responsibility for her boy, she’d fought Conor’s offer at first. Now she was grateful he was here. First off, just to be able to find this place, nestled in the hills in what she remembered was the best part of Sandpiper Beach. Second, because having his support made her feel secure. When was the last time she’d felt like that?
She checked in and waited to see a doctor. Shoving the wallet into her purse, she decided she’d work out how to pay for the appointment later. Good thing she was living rent-free with her mom—an arrangement they’d agreed would last until Shelby got back on her feet. In New York, making ends meet had become a losing battle. Thank heavens for her mother and coming home, something she should have done long before now, except she was hardheaded and determined to succeed. Whether he knew it or not, Conor had played a huge role in her staying away. Yet here she was in a pediatric clinic with the very man she’d been avoiding since she’d gotten pregnant.
Probably out of exhaustion, Benjamin had finally fallen asleep. The odd thing was, it’d happened while she was at the front desk registering her son and had handed him off to Conor. The sight sent a chill, the good kind, down her spine. Rather than ask Conor to give Benjamin back to her, she decided to leave her son well enough alone. Why risk waking him up?
Benjamin looked tiny in Conor’s huge arms, a sight both sweet and unsettling. Did he have to hold Benjamin like he was made of delicate blown glass? As if he was meant to hold her son, as though he knew exactly what he was doing? Her chest squeezed at the sight of her ex and her baby.
“Any problems?” he whispered when she sat next to him.
She shook her head, not wanting to disturb her sleeping boy. He didn’t need to know about her financial woes. She fidgeted in her chair, one foot ticking an impatient beat. Benjamin stretched and let out a huge sigh against Conor’s neck. Conor flinched, like the puff of air tickled. She couldn’t help noticing how his deep green-blue eyes surrounded by thick lashes—the ones she used to dream about—widened. Was he surprised? Amazed? Enjoying holding her boy? Don’t go there. Conor and I are finished. But, while holding her son as he stretched, there was the beginning of a smile, the spontaneous kind that he’d only make when he was unexpectedly pleased. And this moment with the two of them would be the perfect time to take a picture. Big man holds precious stretching toddler. Something Benjamin’s own father had never done. There went that heart squeeze again, and her nervous foot. Only in an alternate universe, where things and situations were completely different, could her sweet fantasy survive. Besides, this photo op would have to be a mental one, because Benjamin continued to squirm and now cracked open his sleep-crusted eyes, and that perfect moment was already a thing of the past. Just like Conor.
Instinctively, Conor rubbed her son’s back, which surprised and, against her will, touched her in
a place she’d protected for the past couple of years. Ben settled a bit, as she became restless with memories and forgotten plans. But she knew her boy, this was the calm before the storm, he was waking up. Then he coughed his tight, congested cough, and on impulse she reached for him. But Conor stopped her.
“I’ve got him. He’s fine. Take a rest. Your shoulders must be aching.”
Confident. Logical. So Conor. And she couldn’t argue on the last point, her shoulders were stiff and tired. So she staved off her first reaction, which was to take her child anyway, and instead smiled and nodded. Only because she trusted him. The realization caused a dry swallow. But seriously, who did he think he was?
Her old friend who wanted to help her, that’s who. Weird fluttery sensations whispered through her chest while acknowledging that truth. Maybe all wasn’t lost.
Benjamin lifted his head and looked up Conor’s neck toward his face, then over at his mother. Seeing her must have been enough reassurance because he didn’t tense or cry about being in a stranger’s arms. Instead, he relaxed and put his head back on Conor’s broad and sturdy-looking shoulder. Her son was already a good judge of character.
She felt his forehead. He still had a fever. “He’s had bronchitis before.”
“It must’ve been tough taking care of a baby, working and living on your own.”
She inhaled. “Hardest thing ever.”
She sensed something soften about Conor. Sympathy? She didn’t want his pity, but she wasn’t going to lie about being a single mother. There couldn’t be a tougher job in the world.
“Benjamin Brookes?” a nurse called from the clinic door.
Shelby stood. So did Conor. She glanced at him. She should take her baby back, but something kept her from reaching for Benjamin. Her baby was content, and Conor seemed perfectly fine with accompanying her into the examination room. So she let him.
Reunited with the Sheriff Page 6
