by Tanya Stowe
“Linda, I…I didn’t know. I’m so sorry. I was just trying to help.”
“We don’t need that kind of help, Jaci. From now on, just stay away.” Spinning, she stomped into the house.
The sudden quiet was numbing.
Jaci stood as if stunned not moving.
After a long while, Justin took her hand and tugged her toward the car. “Come on.”
“No, I need to talk to her, to explain…”
“You need to let her cool down.” He pulled her toward the car. “She’s too angry to listen.”
Some of her numbness must have worn off because she jerked her hand from his. “She’s angry with the world right now…maybe even God. She blames Him for all her troubles.”
They climbed into the car, and Justin started the engine.
Now that the shock had worn off, Jaci was angry too. “She’s so full of hate she’s hurting herself and her children. She can destroy herself if she wants to, but I won’t stand by while she hurts them.”
“No, you can’t. But it was wrong to not tell her where the money came from.”
She sagged in the seat. “If I had, she wouldn’t have taken it, and the boys would be miserable. She wants the world to be as miserable as she is. She has to keep up her anger and misery because if she lets down for one minute, she might actually hear what the Lord’s trying to tell her.”
Justin paused for one long moment and measured his words. He even said a little prayer before he spoke. “She’s a lot like you in that respect.”
Jaci spun towards him. “Excuse me?”
“Sometimes to hear the Lord, you have to be still and listen. Since I’ve known you, you’re rarely still.” He tried to say it with humor, to lighten her mood so she would truly hear his words. It seemed to work.
She turned back to face the road but crossed her arms. “Her husband had a drug addiction, and she was too busy to notice. I would have noticed.”
Justin nodded. “Yes, you would have rushed in to help him. But trust me, rushing in to save the day can become as addictive as being angry. Pretty soon you need to be needed, and you push yourself into situations God won’t bless because it’s not His plan. But if you just pause, and pray, He’ll give you the answers.” He glanced sideways, his gaze leaving the road for only a moment. “Tell me truthfully, Jaci. Did you pray before you accepted Paul’s money?”
Her silence and crestfallen expression spoke volumes.
An uneasy quiet settled over the truck cab. Soon he pulled into the parking place in front of Jaci’s Heart’s Haven cottage. The headlights flashed on the little white sign above the gate.
May Love Find All Who Enter.
He’d fallen under Heart’s Haven’s blessing and found love. But maybe he’d just destroyed its chances of survival. Turning off the engine, he shifted in the seat to face Jaci. He wanted to pull her into his arms, to kiss her and tell her all would come right. But her stiff posture was a clear indication that she wouldn’t be receptive to his attention. “I guess we just had our first fight.”
Her posture sagged, and she shook her head. “It wasn’t a fight. I have a hard time admitting when I’m wrong.” She slid the strap of her bag over her shoulder. “You were right. I should have told Linda about Paul’s visit from the beginning. Then we could have had a proper discussion about him and his motives. She won’t answer, but as soon as I get inside, I’ll call and leave her an apology message.” She jerked the handle of the door open and slid out.
Justin followed her around the back to release Baby from the secured dog kennel in the truck bed. The malamute no longer required a leash. She hopped down, sat on her haunches, and looked up, her gaze moving back and forth between them with concern. She knew something was wrong.
Justin sighed. “It’s all right, Baby. Every relationship has to have a first fight.”
“It wasn’t a fight.” This time Jaci smiled as she said the words.
“OK. A first disagreement.” He smiled too, but still didn’t make a move to kiss her goodnight. He didn’t even try to hug her.
Jaci didn’t make the motion either. “I’d better get inside and take care of my unpleasant chore. Goodnight.” She turned and signaled for Baby to follow.
“Goodnight.” Justin waited until she opened and closed her door before he climbed in and started the engine. He was half way home before it hit him that they hadn’t made arrangements to see each other again. I guess there’s a first time for everything. He had the heavy, sinking feeling this particular first might not be the last.
7
When it rains it pours. First, Linda, then Justin. Now this. Deedee will flip.
Jaci slammed the phone down on her desk. She’d waited all morning for Linda to call, or better yet, Justin. Instead her first phone call of the morning came from a clerk at an insurance company. The Heartline Conference was less than a week away and suddenly, someone with the venue’s insurance had decided that having live animals on the premises would cost them an additional fifteen hundred dollars.
The charge was bogus. The animals were service dogs and legally, they couldn’t make the charge stick, but it would take days to resolve. They needed the policy in effect tomorrow so they could move forward. They would have to pay the fee and get it refunded later.
Sighing, Jaci picked up the phone. No use putting off the inevitable. Might as well call Deedee and get it over with. Jaci cringed when she heard her boss’s voice. The woman sounded stressed before she even started.
“Hi, it’s me. I just wanted to update you. There’s been a bit of a glitch. The facility is requesting more insurance money to bring animals on the premises.”
There was an electric pause over the phone. “How much more?”
“Fifteen hundred dollars.”
The explosion came quicker than Jaci had anticipated. “That’s outrageous. I knew this scheme of yours would be a problem.”
“Scheme? What are you talking about?”
“You’re obsessed with this dog and if you ask me, it’s because of that dog whisperer. You hatched this elaborate plan with service dogs just so you could spend more time with him. Now your silly little romance has impacted my business, Jaci.”
Jaci held her breath and counted to ten. What was it with all the people she cared about? She must be wearing an invisible sign that read, “Yell at me. I’ll let you.”
“Deedee, you need to calm down. I don’t think…”
“That’s the problem, Jaci, you don’t think. You just act.”
Deedee’s words stopped Jaci cold. Her boss sounded so much like Justin she was momentarily silenced.
“Now I’ll have to come up with an additional fifteen hundred dollars for ‘performing’ dogs. It’s not worth it.”
“They’re not performing dogs, Deedee, and everyone is on board, the dogs and their trainers…”
“Well, just get them off board because I’m not paying for it. Call them and let them know they’re done. But don’t do anything else. I’ll load my very sick husband into my car and drive up there. I’ll handle the rest of this conference myself.”
Deedee hung up before Jaci could respond.
Jaci had thought the morning couldn’t get any worse. She was wrong. Now she would have to tell Justin his group was no longer a part of the conference.
****
“Are you serious?” The minute Justin saw Jaci drive up he knew something was wrong but he had to finish the private lesson. The whole time he worked with his client he was anticipating bad news. Nevertheless, he hadn’t anticipated how bad it would be.
“Do you know how much money we’ve already spent on collars and grooming? How many hours of training? We’re a non-profit. Our budget is far too tight to shrug this money away.”
“I know, Justin. I’m so sorry. Deedee just flew off the handle. I couldn’t even talk to her. Maybe she’ll calm down by the time she gets here, but I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Haven’t yo
u talked to her about how she’s been treating you?”
Jaci ducked her head.
Dread filled Justin. “She’s been so abrupt and difficult to talk to, I just haven’t found the right time.”
“The right time, Jaci, was before she went ballistic and took her problems out on my organization.” He shook his head. “It’s not just the money. I’ve spent the last two years rebuilding my credibility. They went out on a limb on my recommendation and now…” He shook his head again and walked away.
“I’m so sorry. I never thought it would go this far…”
Her words sent a tremor through Justin. “Wait…what do you mean this far? Did you have some idea that Deedee might do this and you didn’t tell me?”
“Of course not. But apparently right from the beginning she didn’t trust my motivation. She thinks I proposed this idea to get on your good side. She only agreed to it because Heartline loved the proposal.”
“Did you do it to get on my good side?”
Jaci’s face blanched, and she stared at him with such unconcealed hurt that he wished he could take the words back.
“I cannot believe you just asked me that. If you honestly think I could…well. Then our last month together has been a waste of time.”
He pinned his gaze on her trying to express all of his frustration in one, pointed look. “I’ve enjoyed every minute of the last month with you, Jaci. Nothing can take that away.”
“But you think I would manipulate a situation for my own benefit.”
He jerked his head in the negative. “That was my first impression of you. I agreed to train Baby so I could find a better place for her.”
Her lips parted in shocked silence.
Justin cursed his awkward timing.
“You agreed to train Baby so you could take her away from me?”
He closed his eyes and counted to ten. When he spoke again, his tone was quiet and controlled. “I agreed to train her so I could offer you a better place for her. If you remember, you were pretty desperate.”
She huffed. “I must have been desperate if I didn’t see your true opinion of me.”
“I said that was my first impression. My true opinion is that you have a heart of gold. You’ll do anything for the people you care about and even for some who don’t deserve it. You’re a wonderful person, Jaci, inside and out.”
Tears pooled in her gaze, but she blinked them back. “Still, there’s an exception to your new opinion of me.”
He shrugged. “No exception. You’re a beautiful person, and I think I’m falling in love with you. But I could see this train wreck coming. You try too hard, jump through too many hoops, and let people push you around. You’re a fixer, a people pleaser. I shared my favorite scripture with you hoping you’d begin to understand that the only one you really need to please is God.”
She blinked and one single, solitary tear slid over her cheek. He wanted to catch that tear with his fingertip, to pull her into his arms and tell her everything would be all right. But he had to be strong for her sake, for both of their sakes. For their relationship to go any further, he needed to do what was right so Jaci could learn to do the same thing.
“You’re falling in love with me?”
I’m thinking serious thoughts, taking a stand for our spiritual future and all she heard is that? A wry chuckle escaped him.
“Actually, I think ‘falling’ is a misstatement. I’m pretty sure I’ve already fallen.”
She stared at him, those beautiful blue eyes wide and startled. After a long while, she shook her head, making her silvery hair shimmer in the morning light. “You love me and in return, I damage your credibility. I’m just as bad as your ex-fiancé.”
“That’s not true. I never meant…”
She shook her head. “No, Justin, you spoke the truth. I was a train wreck waiting to happen. I’ve hurt Deedee, my sister, and now you.”
She turned and walked away.
“Jaci, wait…”
Spinning, she held out her hand. “Let me go, Justin, please. I have some serious thinking and praying to do.”
What could he say to that?
She climbed into her car and drove away.
He hoped he hadn’t just destroyed something that would have blossomed into an incredible blessing. Frustrated, he rubbed a hand around his neck.
Did I blow it, Lord?
His answer came in an instant. He’d just broken his own rule and jumped in with both feet before he’d prayed.
8
Jaci held back the tears until she reached her car. Pulling into her parking space, she wiped her cheeks and headed for her cottage. Baby waited at the door with an excited yip and a wagging tail. Even that happy greeting didn’t slow the flood of waterworks. Jaci buried her face in the dog’s soft fur and cried more. With all her emotion spent, she rose.
Baby followed closely bumping her gently for constant contact as they moved to the front room.
“I’m all right, girl. Really I am. I just needed to release some...something. Frustration. Guilt. I don’t know. Anyway, I’m better now.”
Nevertheless, Baby sat on her haunches, alertly tuned to Jaci’s every move as she found her Bible and looked up Justin's quote.
Jaci read it over again. The words resonated. They spoke to her and had meaning she’d never understood until now. Closing her eyes, she held the Bible close to her heart. “Thank you, Lord, for Your grace and the beauty of Your Living Word.” She pushed Baby out of the way so she could fall to her knees.
Her faithful pet circled around then came right back to her side.
Jaci asked for forgiveness and prayed a prayer of relinquishment. Her mistake did not form from her desire to do good, but in her belief that she could make the change.
All change, all good, all power came from Him.
How had she forgotten that truth? If she placed the problem in His hands, it was His decision to make, His course to chart, and hers simply to obey. If the good Lord intended her to take action, then He would make the way smooth. If He did not, perhaps others were meant to lift the load.
God was in charge.
All Jaci had to do was obey. A burden fell from her shoulders. She felt so light she seemed to float above the couch.
Even Baby felt the change because the canine yipped.
Laughing, Jaci threw an arm around her constant companion’s neck and hugged. “I am certainly grateful to have such a good friend in you. How did I get so blessed?”
Baby shifted her head and ruffled her fur in a gesture that looked like a shrug.
Jaci laughed again. Climbing to her feet, she moved to the bathroom and scrubbed her face clean. She’d barely changed into jeans and a T-shirt when someone knocked.
Baby padded to the front door with her, never leaving her side.
“Obviously you don’t believe I’m out of danger yet.” Jaci ran her fingers through the fur on Baby’s back as they walked.
Deedee stood on the front porch, her body stiff and her face as dark as a thundercloud. “You didn’t answer your phone.” Her tight tone was low and controlled.
Jaci was determined not to react to her boss’s accusatory attitude. Taking a slow breath, she said a prayer asking God to direct her words toward His will. “You told me to do nothing, Deedee. I did exactly what I was told.”
“You know I didn’t mean for you to take that literally.”
“How was I supposed to know what you really meant when you were going ballistic?”
Deedee hesitated and shrugged her shoulders in an uncomfortable movement. “You’re right. I overreacted, and I’m sorry. I’m not myself right now. That’s why I came directly to your house. I think it’s better to hash this out here than at the office in front of the other employees.”
Conviction filled Jaci. “There’s nothing to hash out. Heartline signed a contract with us. Part of that contract included service dogs. They will be furious if those dogs don’t show up at their event. I won’t risk losing o
ur biggest client because you’re having a meltdown.”
“I’m having…” Deedee’s lips parted in open surprise. “I’m not the one having a meltdown. You’re the one who let Baby destroy your well-ordered life.”
At the mention of her name, the dog moved. Baby was in a protective mode. Did she sense a threat in Deedee’s tone or actions?
Jaci looked down but Baby’s gaze was focused on the door, and her ears were pricked…listening…to what?
Jaci kept her gaze on her pet but shook her head. “Baby didn’t destroy my life. She brought me back to it. Or at least where it should have been.”
Baby whined.
“What is it, girl? What’s wrong?”
“There! Do you see what I mean? We can’t even have a conversation without her driving you to distraction.”
Baby nudged the door open and lunged past a stunned Deedee, who spun all the way around to watch Baby prance down Jaci’s walkway. “What’s she doing?”
“I don’t know, but something’s wrong.”
Halfway down, Baby stopped, turned back toward Jaci and whined again.
“Does she hear something we don’t?”
“Yes, and I think she wants us to follow her.” Jaci hurried down the steps.
“Wait…me too?”
Jaci spun around walking backwards but never halting. “You don’t have to, Deedee. Go inside and have a seat. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Her flustered employer paused for a short moment then shook her head. “Not a chance! I’m not missing this.” Pulling Jaci’s door shut, she scampered down the steps her high heels clicking all the way down the walk.
Jaci didn’t wait. Baby was already too far ahead moving toward the big house. Jaci started to run. By the time she reached Viv Hart’s gate, Baby stood at the front door yelping and whining by turns. Jaci took the stairs two at a time and didn’t bother to knock.
“Hello? Is anyone…?”
A low, anguished moan wove toward her. A very pregnant Pia Myers stood near the entry, one hand grasping the office door and a puddle of water at her feet.
