I wiped my nose, cringing when I looked at my red, puffy face in the mirror.
“Get in the tub, Evie.”
“I’m not getting naked with you in here,” I exclaimed.
Kai sighed and stripped out of his shirt and jeans. He kicked off his socks and dropped his boxer briefs.
I stood there, dazed, wanting him even though I didn’t care. Told myself over and over I didn’t. He pulled off my shirt and panties before I could protest. He picked me up and settled me in the tub, climbing in behind me. I tried to stay stiff, unresponsive, when he pulled me back against his chest, gently dragging my hair up and over his shoulder.
“There’s something I need to tell you.” His voice was soft, hesitant. He didn’t sound like Kai. “I love you.”
I shook my head. He gripped my shoulders and turned me around so my chest was against his. Brushing my hair back from my wet, red cheeks, he kept his gaze firm on mine. “I love you, Evangeline Louise Mercer-Luchia. I’ve loved you for months but I was too stubborn, too stupid to see it. I loved you from the moment you asked me to sleep with you.”
Oh, no. He wasn’t pulling this on me. I narrowed my eyes against the familiar sting building there. “Whatever you’re feeling now . . . it’s not love.”
24
Kai
Evie pulled into herself. She’d lost more weight so that even with her height, she seemed small, fragile. I’d done this, broken her this way.
“No, sweet girl. I love you and only you.”
Her eyes filled again. They were so bloodshot, the vibrant green of her irises faded. My heart ached. I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to hers.
“I screwed up. Bad. I hurt you. Bad. But, Evie, I love you. I’ll always love you.”
Her lip trembled but she searched my eyes. Back and forth hers went. I let her into my soul, as deep as she could go.
“Why?” she had to clear her throat. “Why did you want to be with that actress?”
Much as I wanted to close my eyes, I couldn’t shut her out there. “I don’t really know. It goes back to meeting Paige and you. I wanted to save Paige. That was a goal, something I could achieve. I’ve always liked spending time with you, but I was sure from the start I’d hurt you if we moved beyond the friends stage. So if you didn’t love me, if you just liked me, just liked our hot sex, then it could stay fun, easy. When you told me you loved me . . . No one’s said that to me before, Evie.”
“What?” she whispered.
I snorted. “You met my mom. I was strong-willed, difficult to control. So when she told me loving me made her miserable, I believed her, because I did make her miserable. And Marcus was never touchy-feely. His ex-wife said he didn’t do emotions.”
“But . . . you said . . .” Evie slammed her jaw shut.
“I said a lot of stupid shit. I . . . it was easier to blow up all that was good in my life up before you decided to leave me.”
“I did decide that,” she said.
“I’m hoping to change your mind.” I cupped her cheeks, keeping my gaze steady on hers. “I want this, the life you’ve been working so hard to build here. The one I coerced you into starting. Maybe it started because I wanted us to be a family for Paige, but it’s more than that, Evangeline. It’s always been more, and I was just too thickheaded to see it.” I sucked in a deep breath and met her dulled green eyes. The hurt was there, on the surface, building instead of heeding my words as reassurance. Still, with Evie I only seemed to blunder further into a situation. I squeezed her fingers. “I want to be Evie and Kai, the couple.”
“Maybe you do right now,” Evie said, her eyes still shadowed. “But what about when you tour again? You’ll leave in a couple of days because you have to. What about when another beautiful, successful woman throws herself at you?”
I lifted her hand from the water. The too full water. Crap. I quickly turned the tap into the off position with my foot. She shook her head, smirking at me.
I pressed my palm to hers, then I picked up her other hand and brought it to my heart.
“I’m going to D.C. this week. I already bought a ticket for me and Paige.”
“Is that . . . do you really want to live there, Evie? Is that your dream job?”
She opened her mouth but nothing came out. She dropped her eyes so that I could count her eyelashes, just like in my favorite REM song.
“Come on,” I said.
“What? Now? You just put me in the bath.”
I huffed, considering my options. “You take the bath. Then I’m taking you somewhere.”
“You’re scaring me, Kai.”
I hopped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around my waist. “Thirty minutes. I’ll make you a mocha.”
“I’m going to the hospital. I need to see Marilyn.”
Her face showed the strain of the last few days. I glanced down at her ringless left hand, and my heart ached all over again. “Thirty minutes,” I said, my voice gruff. “I’ll take you to the hospital first.”
Her eyes narrowed and her jaw shot out in pugnacious resistance. “I’m going to be there awhile. Marilyn means the world to me.”
Meaning I no longer did. I dipped my head in acknowledgment but refused to give up all hope. Yet.
True to her word, Evie spent most of the afternoon with Marilyn while I settled into one of the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room. Chelle walked by and gave me the stink eye but didn’t stop to talk. By the time Evie was ready to leave, my shoulders and neck ached with tension and my hands wouldn’t stay dry. But none of those concerns would stop me from trying to fix my issues with Evie.
Evie had wanted to have our wedding at sunset near water. When I’d suggested Abbi’s parents’ house because they lived on a lake, Evie’s eyes filled with longing. I couldn’t give her that, today, but I could give her the romance she’d craved and always deserved.
After bundling her into the car late that afternoon, I set out up the coast toward Bellingham. There was a sweet spot on the bay up there that I loved. Parking in the lot at the park, I tugged Evie out of the car, wrapping my arm over her shoulder as the cool coastal air drifted over us.
“Why are we here? What about Paige?”
“Calm down. I told you, Abbi and Clay are going to take Paige up to the hospital to see Marilyn. They’ll take Paige to Lia and Asher’s for dinner. It’s all worked out,” I said, though my own heart was slamming against my ribs.
She nodded, her eyes downcast. Because she was tired or because she didn’t want to talk to me?
Evie held my future, my happiness, in her hands, and I wasn’t sure she could forgive me my stupidity and fear. At the edge of the grass, just before it turned to sand, before I could lose my nerve, I turned around and lowered myself to one knee. The sun’s rays sparkled off the placid ripples, a fiery orb edging closer to the liquid horizon.
Timing wouldn’t get better. Neither would the location. I sucked in a deep breath and tried to ignore my heart knocking against my ribs.
“I love you, Evie. I’ll keep telling you until you believe me. I’ll keep showing you until you know. When I put my grandmother’s ring on your finger, I didn’t understand how much you were going to change my world. I love calling you my wife. I love your smart mind, your nurturing heart and your capacity to forgive. I love that you managed to finish your dissertation even with such a tough advisor and tougher time at home.”
“Okay.”
“I’m going to ask for you to forgive me for my stupidity now.”
She looked out over the water, her eyes distant when she finally brought them back to mine. “I can’t go through this heartache again, Kai. It was—I collapsed. I broke,” she whispered. Finally, she dropped her eyes, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
“No, Evie. No. I let you down. I wasn’t the man you needed. The one you deserve. The one who promised to help but didn’t follow through. I won’t do that to you again.” I paused, my nose burning with emotion.
“I can�
�t push myself like that again.”
“I don’t want you to. You and Paige—you’re my world. I’m not willing to sacrifice you for anything. So if you want to move to D.C., I’m in. I’ll quit the band, whatever it takes.”
“But you love music, the guys,” she sputtered.
“You are more important.” I leaned forward, pressing my nose into her soft stomach. Pulling back, I shoved my hand into my pocket and held out her engagement ring. The stones glittered in the late afternoon sunlight. My heart pounded even harder—so hard it felt close to bursting from my chest.
“Will you marry me?”
She gulped, eyes widening. “We are married.”
“But will you marry me because I love you and want it to last forever? Beyond that. Will you say vows again on a lakeside dock at sunset because that was your dream and I want to give you every single one I can?”
“But—”
“Evie.” I stood, still holding her ring in my palm. “I’ve loved you since before I asked you to marry me the first time, but I was too blinded by my fears to see it. If I lose you, I lose the most important piece of my life—and my whole heart.”
Fear and longing shimmered in her eyes. “What if you change your mind again?”
“I won’t because I can’t. You own me, Evangeline Louise Mercer-Luchia. These past few days have been horrible. Horrible. I don’t want either of us to feel that way again.”
Her chest rose and fell in rapid succession. “I need help with Paige. I can’t manage her alone. And I want to work. I spent six years in a lab, Kai. That part of my life is—and will always be—important to me.”
“You will. I don’t know how we’ll manage it yet, but we’ll find a way. I promise.” I held up the ring. “This is the third time I’ve offered you this ring. I want this on your finger so I can show the world how much I love you. How stupid I was to ever, ever question our bond and what you mean to me. May I?”
She dipped her head a little, her eyes never leaving mine. I slid it on her finger, satisfaction and euphoria spreading through me at the sight.
“Where’s my wedding band?” she asked.
I smiled, my heart rate slowing just enough to let me take a full breath. I pulled her wedding band out of my pocket. “You want this one, too? Right now?”
Her fingers trembled in mine. “You don’t want me to wear it?”
“Oh, I do. Just like I love wearing mine, seeing it shine in the stage lights. But I need you to want it that badly, too.”
I pressed my lips to hers, imbuing as much feeling into that kiss as I could. She pressed into me, kissing me back just the way I liked. The way I needed. This, here, was home.
“You’re the only woman I want. The only one who holds my attention.”
Her hand was against my nape. “Don’t talk about other women,” she growled.
Evie’s throaty voice was sexy. I wanted to hear her boss me around again. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I don’t want to.”
“Oh, God. People are taking our picture.”
“Let them. I hope everyone gets a picture because I want the world to know how much I love you. So, can I put on your ring?”
“Yes. Then shut up and kiss me again.”
I did, the tightness in my chest easing. I kissed her with more tongue this time—just how she liked best. She mewled against my lips as I pulled her tighter to my chest. She shifted to cuddle me against her stomach.
I tore my lips from hers, trying to ease my racing heart. “We have to stop. I want you so bad . . .” I panted.
“Please, Kai. Please.”
“There’s a hotel,” I panted. “Down the road.”
“Let’s go. Now. I need you.”
Sweeter words were never spoken.
Later, minutes after we’d checked in, my hands roamed her soft, smooth skin, and, before long, I was buried deep in my gorgeous wife. Right where I belonged.
This. Here, with Evie . . . this was my sliver of heaven.
I continued to whisper my love into her hair, her neck, the soft pillow of her pink-tipped breasts.
“I love you, too, Kai.”
Best music my ears could ever hear.
Epilogue
Evie
“This song goes out to a very special lady. My wife. Our anniversary was last week. We renewed our vows at sunset. Best moment of my life.” Kai caught my eye. He lowered his voice, like he always did when he said the words, “Love you, Evie. Now and always.”
I blew him a kiss, and he did that sexy squint that made me burn for him. Nessa elbowed me in the ribs. I smacked her arm away. “Watch those elbows.”
“I’m still amazed you tamed the beast,” she said.
“I can’t believe you’ve already been married a year,” Abbi sighed.
“He’s way more settled than I’ve ever seen him,” Mrs. Luchia said. I’d suggested Kai invite her tonight, unsurprised when she accepted. Kai’s mother continued to keep her distance, but the yearning I’d seen in her eyes the last time she stopped by for our Fourth of July barbecue reinforced my belief she wanted to reconnect with Kai and be part of his family.
They’d never be chummy—there was too much emotional baggage between them, but I liked Paige’s closeness with Kai’s mom.
“I’ve gotta go. I have to be at work early tomorrow.”
“Thank you for coming,” I said, hugging Mrs. Luchia. Yeah, it was awkward, but we were all trying.
“Take care of my boy,” she said, smoothing my hair.
“I will,” I said, smiling back.
“I’m really proud of you, Evie. You and Kai.” Her smile was wobbly but genuine. “You’ve worked through a rough patch most married people don’t or can’t. Kai’s father being one of them.”
I pressed my lips together and nodded. I didn’t like the reminder, but she was right. Kai and I, we were strong now. He’d kept his every promise to me, being the husband I needed and the father Paige deserved—and more. Even Sue admitted she’d been wrong about Kai. Sure, we fought and Kai still traveled more than I liked, but he’d made a point to call in every day he was on the road and he always, always sang Paige to sleep. He almost always ensured my sweet dreams, too.
He and I slept better together—that wasn’t going to change. Well . . . maybe it would. Sooner than we’d expected.
Clay started with a soft rolling strum that Dane kicked in, accentuating the three-four beat. Kai picked it up, looking straight at me, his eyes warm as his smile. He leaned into the microphone and began to croon out the words.
I blinked at him, the smile growing across my face as he continued to sing. I rubbed my hand over my belly, trying to control the crazy lust spreading through my body.
He was so beautiful. The words were heart-felt, deep. Loving. Oh, this man. What he did to my heart.
Mine. Both Kai and the lyrics.
“I’ve known you from the first, held yours and your mama’s hand through the worst . . .
Stayed up many nights, worrying how to keep you safe and fine
Out there as you grow, whipping through the years and strife.
From your first steps to my last breath, I’ll hold you tight.
Because you’re our laughter and our light.”
Kai sang another verse, but I didn’t hear the words. I was too busy staring at him, hearing the way his voice moved over me. Through me.
Kai
“Great show, man,” Dane said. He patted my shoulder.
Clay grabbed my head and pulled it into his sweaty chest. “Get off,” I complained.
“I really dig what you did with the vocals tonight,” Clay said.
I nodded, unwilling to tell him I’d been overcome with emotion as I thought about how much Evie sacrificed for me, how much joy she gave me.
After helping to break down the set, the guys and I walked back to the front of the theater. Abbi and Nessa were huddled in close near Evie, who glowed. Damn, she was beautiful. Not just in her features,
which were mighty fine to look at, but from her soul. She’d been through so much but she kept fighting, kept opening her heart to people—even those who didn’t deserve her love. Like me.
“I’m glad you came tonight,” I said as I leaned down to kiss her. She pulled me closer for a longer, deeper kiss before she smiled up at me, her eyes bright.
“So am I. I like seeing you perform. And I love that these venues are nonsmoking.”
“I like our little fan club as much as I love listening to the guys perform. You’re right, Evie. These smaller shows are fun. More intimate.” Nessa walked over and wound herself around Dane. After a long kiss and some whispers, they took off.
Abbi was snuggled into Clay’s side, her face shiny with the excitement of a good show. “We’re headed out. Any plans for your free night, Evie?”
Paige was with Marilyn tonight, who’d recovered from her heart attack. While she’d slowed down this year, she was still more than capable of keeping up with a six-year-old. At least, that’s what she told us right before she shut the door to her house practically in our noses earlier tonight. Not that I was complaining. Not really. Because, for the first time in way too long, I had Evie all to myself.
“No, nothing exciting,” Evie said, her voice apologetic.
“That’s not true. You’re getting exactly what you asked for: pho and a foot rub.”
Clay laughed. “Dude, that sounds gross.”
Evie’s face flushed bright red, and I had to kiss her hot cheek, chuckling. Those blushes continued to turn me on almost as much as they melted my heart.
“It’s become a fetish,” she sighed.
“The pho or the foot rubs?” Clay asked, trying to maintain a straight face.
Evie pressed the back of her hand to her other cheek, trying to cool it down. “Omigod, you guys, I have to have them together.”
We all burst into laughter, even Evie. I slid my arm across her shoulders and she snuggled closer, her warmth just what I needed. I rested my hand on her tiny baby bump. I hadn’t felt the baby move yet, but that would come. Soon, I hoped. The idea of another child, one I made with Evie, didn’t scare me. Instead, I’d been beside myself with excitement when she taped the tiny onesie to the shower door a couple of months ago. As soon as I saw it, I fell out of the shower, grabbing her in a wet bear hug that caused her to shriek and laugh—and for me to get up all close and personal with her changing body.
Seattle Sound Series, The Collection: Books One to Five Page 120
