by Laurèn Lee
Without another word, James sat down and smiled for the umpteenth time. I looked around, trying to find the sign displaying our destination. And then I saw it…
8:03 pm departure to San Diego, California
“James,” I began apprehensively, “Why are we going to San Diego?”
“To visit my mom, of course!” He put his bag down beside him and took out a newspaper to scan through while we waited to board.
Are you kidding me?
“You mean to tell me, that we are going to visit your mother and you didn’t think it would be beneficial to warn me ahead of time?”
“I wanted it to be a surprise.” He guiltily wouldn’t look up from his newspaper.
I sat down and felt as though I was trapped inside a nightmare. How could I have been so entirely foolish not to see this coming? James had been begging me for months to go with him to visit his mother. This “vacation” would be the perfect opportunity to see her. How could I have not seen this coming?
“I can’t believe you,” I snarled through my teeth.
“She’s so excited to see us. We’re going to have a great time.”
I’m going to kill you.
“Boarding Group 1 for the nonstop flight to San Diego,” an attendant called out to our section.
“That’s us,” James said delightedly. He nearly skipped toward the line.
He’d been clever, that’s for sure. I had to give him that. Now, I hoped I’d survive the trip to see Mommy Dearest.
12
Evening Herald
Footage found of Body Dumping
The police Department has found a key piece of evidence in the murder investigation of Jane Doe, a woman found in the Evergreen River almost two weeks ago.
“Well, we decided to check all the cameras along the river and spotted what looked like a man dumping a large piece of waste into the river,” Moonie said.
Detectives on the case studied the footage extensively and have concluded the time in which the unknown person dumped what could’ve been a body, matches the time frame in which Jane Doe had been killed, according to the coroner’s report.
“We believe this footage will help narrow down who could possibly have committed such a heinous crime,” one detective mentioned.
Jane Doe still hadn’t been identified at this time.
13
Present
Lucas left my office and left me entirely more confused than when we had begun our therapy together. I’d never met anyone quite like him. He was charming, seemingly intelligent, and dangerous.
He said, ‘I’d kill for her.’
Is that what had happened with his parents? Had he killed them to benefit someone else? Undoubtedly, it hadn’t helped him considering their death forced him into the spotlight and waves of brutal contempt from the public.
Despite his outrageous statements, he did seem to stick to his convictions. Tortured, but idealistic. In this day and age, who wasn’t a little mad? I could only imagine what our remaining sessions would reveal about him.
“Dr. Hedley?”
“Yes, Jennifer?”
“Is there anything else you need before I leave?”
“Did you take care of the late bill notices?”
“Yes, they are signed, sealed and prepared to be delivered. I’ve left them in the collection bin for Frank to pick up Monday.”
“Perfect. Then, that’s all I have for you today. Enjoy your weekend!”
“Thanks, Doctor. You too!” Jennifer carefully closed my office door and left for the weekend.
I’d gone through several receptionists before hiring Jennifer. Some had been lazy, and some had been too crazy, even by my standards. After dozens of failed attempts at recruiting a stable employee, Jennifer came through as a walk-in applicant.
For a few months, I had been handling my office duties, hesitant to hire anyone new. However, I had a particular patient who had a psychotic break during one of our sessions once she had remembered additional details of traumatic childhood abuse. Jennifer heard the commotion in my office and burst in from the waiting room to help me calm my patient down. She remained calm during a stressful situation and impressed me beyond measure. I figured if she could handle my office at its worst, she deserved to be there for the best.
I hired her on the spot and never regretted it.
Once Jennifer had left, I stood in my office staring out of the window. I had no other pending projects to take care of, but I didn’t want to go home just yet either. Going home meant seeing James. Going home meant leaving my comfort zone. Going home meant leaving my doctor persona behind and putting on my wifely cap.
James and I had dinner plans tonight. He said he wanted to talk to me about something important. I couldn’t imagine what he had on his mind and why he needed to say it in a restaurant.
Look at me; I’d grown so far apart from my husband, a simple dinner turned on my panic-mode switch. What has my life become?
I walked around my office, looking for something, anything to do to keep me from leaving just yet. I organized some of the magazines on an end table, fluffed up the flowers in a vase by the window and even checked my emails knowing full well no one would be contacting me this late. Realizing there was nothing else to do, I took one last look, closed the curtains, and left my office for the night.
_
I dug through my closet trying to find an outfit to wear to dinner. I didn’t want to wear something too flashy, but I also didn’t want to look frumpy either. What does a woman wear on a date with her nearly estranged husband? Finally, I chose a simple black long-sleeved dress with matching stilettos.
I reapplied my lipstick and added more mascara to my eyelashes.
Is that a wrinkle? When did I start looking so much older?
Desperately looking away from my mirror, I grabbed my clutch and headed to my car. James said he’d meet me at the restaurant. Luckily, we wouldn’t have to drive together.
In the car, I put on NPR to hear the latest news story of a bombing in the Middle East.
Too depressing.
Browsing through the other satellite radio channels, I paused for a song which was all too familiar; “Pretty Woman,” mine and James’ song.
Even more depressing.
Finally, I turned off the radio and drove the remaining blocks to the restaurant in silence. Sometimes, silence was deafening, and others, it was exactly what we needed.
“Dr. Hedley, it’s a pleasure to see you again? The usual table, I presume?”
“Yes, Benjamin, that will be okay. James should be meeting me soon.”
There was a safe familiarity with coming to our favorite restaurant, The Black Kettle. James and I had come here often and regularly since we married and could afford to do so. A single cocktail here was probably worth more than most middle-class citizens made in an hour.
I glanced at my watch, James was late. He said he’d be here at seven pm, sharp and yet, here I was, sitting all alone. I noticed the other couples enjoying a fine dining meal. Most looked absurdly joyous and at ease. I wish I had an ounce of their happiness. Several minutes passed and Benjamin, our usual waiter, arrived, with my drink. I barely had to order here because Benjamin knew us so well.
“It looks like the husband is a little late?” he chuckled.
“Just a little,” I smiled faintly.
“Would you like to wait to order?”
“Yes, that would be fine.”
“Can I bring you an appetizer? The chef recently added a few new ones to the menu.”
“No thank you, Benjamin.”
“Enjoy!” He winked and went to attend to his other tables.
And so, I continued to sit and sip on my Cabernet Sauvignon, trying not to look too desperate as I continued to scout the entrance, waiting for James to suddenly appear. I despised sitting alone in public settings. Anxiety plagued me while trying to figure out what to do. Could I check my emails? No, I had caught up before leaving the office. Co
uld I look over my schedule of appointments for next week? No, I knew my schedule like the back of my hand.
My heart began to pound, and I felt wandering eyes looking me over. For a wildly successful psychiatrist, you’d think I could’ve handled social anxiety better than this. I should practice what I preach.
“Delilah? Long time, no see.”
I spun around at the sound of my name spoken by a familiar voice.
“Lucas? What are you doing here?”
There’s no way my heart would slow down now.
“I was just finishing up a meeting with my lawyer.” He nodded to a well-dressed man leaving the premises. “I had my community service sentence reduced.”
“Wow, that’s great news. How did you pull that off?”
“Money is power, baby.”
I nodded, and he continued to stand there awkwardly. I never enjoyed seeing my patients outside of my office, it seemed unnatural, and I felt I lost some of my assumed seniority and wisdom while not sitting in my therapist’s chair.
“Dining alone this evening?”
“No, I’m waiting for my husband.”
“You’ve been waiting a long time,” he mentioned.
I smiled politely, “And how would you know that?”
“I watched you while I was with my lawyer. I saw you come in and I’ve seen you sit by yourself this entire time.”
Oh.
My palms moistened and I felt woozy as nausea washed over me.
“Do you mind if I sit down? Just until your husband arrives, of course,” he smirked.
“Lucas, I don’t think that’s a good idea. We should keep our relationship strictly professional. I don’t make it a habit of dining with my patients.”
“Well, outside of your office, I’m not a patient. I am just a man asking to join a beautiful woman for a few minutes.”
Before I could object any further, Lucas pulled out the chair meant for James and plopped down. He raised a single finger signaling Benjamin to come over. Taking the cue, Ben walked over apprehensively.
“Sir? May I bring you anything?”
“Yes, another drink for the lady and I’ll have whatever she’s having.”
Benjamin looked over at me, waiting for my approval. I nodded.
“I’ll have another of the same. Thank you, Benjamin.”
“Certainly, Dr. Hedley.”
Once Benjamin walked out of earshot, Lucas leaned over the table, “You look nervous.”
“I told you, I’m not fond of fraternizing with my patients.” I continued to stare down at the table, wishing time would speed up.
He reached over and tilted my chin up with his hand, “That’s better.”
“My husband will be here soon,” I pointed out desperately as I looked at my watch again.
“I’d love to meet him.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“And, why’s that?”
“He’s the jealous type,” I said.
“Well, maybe if he treated his wife better, he needn’t be worried.”
Just then, Benjamin returned with our drinks and mouthed, “Are you okay?”
I nodded and mouthed back, “Yes, thank you.”
Raising his voice to an audible pitch, Benjamin said, “Please let me know if you wish to order before your husband arrives.” He emphasized ‘husband.’
“We will, thanks,” Lucas responded, boisterously.
Again, Lucas and I were alone. I took an ample sip of my wine and felt tipsy almost immediately. I still hadn’t eaten dinner.
“You do look lovely tonight; did I mention that already?”
“Thank you,” I responded.
“I bet you look even better wearing nothing at all.”
I nearly choked on my drink. I looked at my watch again. James was now forty-five minutes late. “I think I’m going to call my husband to see if everything is all right.”
“That’s a brilliant idea. I’ll wait here.”
I just can’t get away.
I stepped away from the table and ventured outside with my cell phone in hand. I dialed James’ number. The dial tone rang and rang until his voicemail picked up.
“This is James, leave it at the beep.”
“James, where are you? We were supposed to meet for dinner almost an hour ago. Are you still coming? Please call me.”
I hung up and looked up and down the street, and maybe he was walking toward me right now. No such luck.
I peered back at the restaurant and through the glass. Lucas still sat at my table. He was drinking his glass of wine, looking handsome and poised as ever. I needed to get rid of him, or better yet, maybe I should just leave. It didn’t seem like James would come, after all.
I walked back into the Black Kettle and resumed my place across from Lucas.
“Is he coming?”
“No, I got his voicemail. Something at work must have come up.”
“Should we order another round of drinks?”
“No, I think I should be getting home.”
“So soon?” he pouted.
“Thank you for keeping me company,” I said as I finished my second glass of wine. I pulled out my wallet and left a crisp Benjamin Franklin on the table for my own Benjamin.
When I stood, Lucas rose as well, putting his leather coat on over his broad, muscular shoulders.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Excuse me?”
“I’ll walk you to your car,” he offered.
“Thank you. However, that isn’t necessary.”
“I insist.”
“I insist you don’t,” I countered.
“I’m afraid I’m too much of a gentleman to comply,” he smiled brightly.
I knew I wouldn’t win this battle. I waved goodbye to Benjamin and walked behind Lucas as he led the way out of the restaurant. I couldn’t believe James had stood me up, and furthermore, I couldn’t believe I was following Lucas like a lost puppy. Why didn’t I put my foot down and deny his chaperone offer? I wonder if people at the restaurant recognized him? Would they remember me leaving with him? What the hell was I getting myself into tonight?
Once outside the restaurant, Lucas walked beside me as I led the way to my car.
“I didn’t need you to walk with me.”
“It’s a dangerous world, Delilah. In fact, there may be a murderer near you right now!”
“That’s not funny.”
“Then why are you smiling?”
Get yourself together, Delilah.
We approached my car, and I pressed the unlock button twice and reached to open the driver’s side door. Lucas stepped in front of me, blocking my entrance into my vehicle.
“Lucas?” I asked hesitantly.
“I’m sorry about your husband,” he said.
I looked into his eyes, searching for his motive. He returned my gaze. It was as though he was staring deeper and deeper into my soul. I felt naked and vulnerable in his presence. He continued to block me from entering my car, and we stood there, locked in a trance for almost a minute.
“I’ll see you next week, Doctor.”
“Yes, I’ll see you.”
Then, he grasped my hands and pulled me closer to him. He put my arms around his neck and I let him. I’d let him do almost anything right now. He breathed slowly into my ear causing goosebumps to erupt over every inch of my body.
“I want you, Delilah,” he whispered. “I want you so fucking badly.”
“Lucas— ”
In the next row, a car’s alarm sounded obnoxiously loud and it was as though someone took a needle to a balloon; our moment ended.
Carefully, Lucas stepped away, allowing me to enter my car. He stood rooted in the same place as I drove away. I watched him grow smaller in my rear-view mirror until he disappeared completely.
14
Past- Eighteen Months Ago
“I can’t believe you tricked me into going to visit your mother, James. This is a new low.”
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“A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, dear.”
I shook my head and continued to stare out the plane’s window. We were about to land in San Diego. James and I hadn’t talked at all during the flight until now.
“Does she know I’m coming?”
“No, I haven’t talked to her yet,” he admitted sheepishly.
“James!”
He cowered, “I didn’t want her to be upset.”
“If your mother would be upset if I came, then why would you bring me?”
“The both of you need to get over yourselves. You’re family.”
Huffing and puffing, I knew it wasn’t worth it to keep arguing over. James had won, I was in San Diego visiting his mother at last.
“What kind of car did you rent?” I asked.
James looked at me confused.
“You did rent a car, right?”
He started to stumble over his words, “I, uh, may have forgotten that part.”
“Great so we may be stranded at the airport?”
“It will be okay, Delilah. I’m sure there are some cars available to rent without a previous request.”
“You better hope so, or else I’m purchasing a flight home as soon as we step off this plane.”
I knew I was acting like a brat, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted nothing to do with my mother-in-law. She’d probably spend this whole visit guilt-tripping me about dying without becoming a grandmother first. As if I needed another reminder about my empty womb.
James and I walked off the plane and searched for the Baggage Claim area. I found my bag first, while James’ didn’t appear right away.
“I’m going to go see if there’s a car available," I muttered.
“Great!”
I walked away with contempt in my gait. Some vacation.
“See, I told you there would be a car left,” James said as he drove the minivan out of the airport parking lot and toward the highway.
“Yes, we paid double the typical rate for a van. A freaking minivan.”
