by Callie Kanno
She whipped around and sprinted back to the L’avan camp. “We have to get out of here now!” she said in a low, urgent voice.
Everyone stared at her without comprehension. L’iam was the first to respond.
“Why?”
Adesina was throwing saddles on horses and stamping out the fire. “The refugee camp is about to be attacked, and we will be as well if we do not leave as quickly as possible.”
The others began helping Adesina in her rushed packing of the camp, asking questions as they worked.
“By whom?”
She shook her head. “I am not sure.”
“Why would anyone attack a camp of refugees?”
“I do not know,” she replied impatiently. “They could be marauders looking for an easy target, Shimat returned to finish a job, someone who has a grudge against the citizens of the High City…”
Aleron grabbed her arm. “We have to help them!”
At first she was startled by this declaration. “What?”
He repeated himself. “We have to help them.”
Adesina gave him a scathing look. This was no time for naive heroics. “How could we possibly help them?”
He struggled to find the words fast enough. “Protect them! Fight for them! Anything!”
She looked him directly in the eye as she spoke with finality. “We cannot.”
Stunned disbelief filled his eyes. “What! Why?”
Adesina gestured towards the camp and spoke in a voice as if it were obvious. “We are completely outnumbered, Aleron. There is no way our help would be enough. All we would do is alert the Shimat to our presence, and then our entire mission would be for naught.”
He set his jaw stubbornly. “You said you did not know if they were Shimat or not.”
She let out an annoyed breath. “It does not matter who they are! If we get involved, the Shimat will hear about it!”
L’iam put a sympathetic hand on Aleron’s shoulder. “She is right. We do not stand a chance against them.”
Aleron sputtered. “So, we are just to leave them to die?”
“It is that, or die ourselves.” Adesina said harshly.
In the distance they heard the shouts of chaos begin. Shadows could be seen darting past the campfires, the sounds of horses being charged were coupled with angry yells. Every eye in the L’avan camp turned towards the refugees, searching desperately for some way to assist the helpless people.
Adesina wanted to urge their immediate departure, but was surprised to find that she could not turn away. In the Shimat mind, self-preservation was only outweighed by the protection of the order; yet, she could not leave these people to fight for themselves.
She had a mission to fulfill. One of the utmost importance—one that could not afford to be jeopardized by any sort of deviant action. Still, the sounds of screams rang in her ears, and she knew she could not walk away.
Did such sentiment make her weak?
“Mount your horses,” she commanded curtly.
There was a moment of shocked silence before they realized her intention and did what they were told. Adesina reconnected to her vyala as she settled into her saddle. Her vision swirled red and light green as she projected her power further than she had ever attempted before.
It was a struggle to direct the power to the camps without taking in any unnecessary space, juggle two kinds of vyala, and keep it strong enough to reach far enough and have enough effect. It took every ounce of willpower Adesina had, but she was absolutely set on succeeding.
The shouts of the refugees were joined by cries of dismay from the attackers. Adesina was picking out all those with murderous hearts and covered their eyes with terrifying visions.
“What is going on?” asked Aleron frantically.
Sa’jan’s voice was full of reverence and respect. “She is helping them.”
Adesina felt the energy rapidly draining from her body. She knew she had to keep going, but she wasn’t sure how long she would last. L’iam sensed her distress and summoned his own vyala to lend her aid. He gave her all the energy he could spare, which was only just enough to keep her going.
It felt like an eternity to Adesina before she heard Sa’jan say, “They have escaped to the forest!”
She withdrew her vyala and barely had enough strength to wheel her horse around. “Go!”
They all rode away from the camp at top speed. L’iam led the way, taking them through the thick undergrowth of the woods. Adesina brought up the rear with Ravi and Aleron. Ravi, because he refused to leave her side at a time like this, and Aleron, because his plow horse had a hard time keeping up with the war horses.
She had no idea how long they galloped through the darkness, nor did she have any clue where they were headed. She was merely intent on keeping herself from falling off of Torith’s back. Occasionally she felt a reviving surge from L’iam’s vyala, but it wasn’t enough to restore her completely.
She was aware when they came to a stop, but only just so. A pair of strong arms pulled her gently from her horse and wrapped her in a blanket, whispering urges to go to sleep. The feeling of being embraced was comforting, and Adesina gratefully complied.
Chapter Thirty-six: Hidden Enemy
When she awoke, she felt slightly ill, but much better as a whole. Of her companions, only L’iam was awake, because it was his turn to keep watch.
He noticed that she was awake and looked at her sternly. “You could have killed yourself.”
She frowned in confusion. “What?”
He sighed softly and began building up the fire. “You are incredibly powerful, Adesina, but even you have your limits. You have to learn to draw from the energy around you when you use your vyala as you did last night. Your life force cannot sustain power like that.”
Adesina sat up slowly, fighting the wave of nausea that washed over her. “I do not understand what you mean.”
L’iam glanced at her sharply, then shook his head ruefully. “Perhaps you do not.”
He rummaged through the medical kit, pulling out certain herbs and powders, and mixing them together. He put a small pot of water on the fire, waiting for it to boil before adding the mixture he had created. The steam that reached Adesina’s nose was refreshing, and helped to clear her head.
L’iam sat back, keeping a close eye on the concoction as it boiled. “For most L’avan, their vyala draws its power from their own life strength. This is why L’avan grow tired and their vyala cannot be sustained indefinitely. Only those with gold in their eyes know how to take energy from their surroundings.”
Adesina nodded. She remembered L’iam showing her how to do this early on in her training.
“It is possible,” he continued, “to take minute amounts of energy from everything around you. Small enough that nothing is disturbed, but depending on your range of intake, those multiple small amounts are enough to feed your vyala without expending any life force of your own.”
The medicine on the fire appeared to be ready, so L’iam poured it into a cup and handed it to Adesina to drink. She sipped it, savoring the warmth as it spread throughout her body. It had a slightly bitter taste, but it wasn’t unpleasant.
His eyes were solemn as he watched her drink the medicine. “What you did last night, Adesina, projecting as far as you did and combining vyala as you did,” he shook his head, “I have never seen anything like it.”
There was awe in his voice that warmed Adesina more than the drink in her hand.
He went on in a very sober tone. “But you could have died. It was all I could do to keep your life force going until we stopped to rest.”
She realized the seriousness of the situation and nodded to show that she understood. “I did not know the danger, L’iam. I will be more careful in the future.”
The relief in his eyes was apparent. He smiled his brilliant smile and then turned his attention to tending the fire and preparing a meal. The rest of the camp was beginning to stir, and Adesina glanced at the sky.<
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“What time is it?”
L’iam shrugged. “About midday.”
Her gaze turned to Aleron, who had gotten to his feet to stretch and work out his sore muscles.
She began quietly speaking in the L’avan language. “What are we going to do about him?”
L’iam also glanced over before fixing his eyes on the fire. “I do not know. He certainly cannot come with us, but we cannot leave him alone.”
She nodded her head in agreement. As if he was aware that they were talking about him, Aleron walked over to join them and spoke in a rush. “I know it may be presumptuous, but I want to come with you.” When he received no answer, he went on. “I have given it a lot of thought, and there is no doubt in my mind that that is where I should go.”
Adesina raised an eyebrow. “Do you even know where we are going?”
He suddenly looked uncertain. “Well…no…I assumed your original destination was the High City; but now that it is destroyed, are you not going back to your homeland?”
She switched back to the L’avan tongue. “This would be an easy way out. We could tell him that no outsiders are allowed in Pevothem.”
L’iam frowned, also speaking in their language. “Why not tell him the truth?”
“Because he would insist on coming and helping in any way he can.”
Aleron looked between them, perplexed. “I promise I will not be a burden! In fact, I could be very helpful. Before the High City was attacked, I was training to be a healer.”
L’iam studied the young man sitting across from him before replying in the common tongue. “We appreciate your desire to be of assistance, but you cannot come with us.”
“Why?” he asked desperately.
Adesina threw a sideways glance at L’iam, hoping that his natural honesty would not prompt him to say more than what was necessary to put off Aleron.
“Because we are not going to our homeland. We are going into the heart of Shimat lands, and it will be very dangerous.”
She repressed a sigh, wishing that L’iam would have simply lied and said that they were going to their secret home.
Aleron, on the other hand, perked up. “All the more reason to take a healer!”
The other L’avan began joining them beside the campfire. L’era looked around at the situation and innocently asked, “Is he coming with us?”
“No,” said both L’iam and Adesina.
Aleron’s face fell. “Why not?”
“Yes,” said L’era, “why not?”
Adesina switched to the L’avan language again. “Because it is too dangerous and he would only be a hindrance.”
“Oh. I suppose you are right,” admitted the princess. It seemed to have slipped her mind that they were on a serious mission.
“We could drop him off in a nearby village,” suggested E’nes. “We left behind many of our supplies when we fled last night, so we need to go to a village anyway.”
“Will they deign to trade with us?” asked Adesina bitterly.
L’iam smiled sadly. “These are the central lands, so it is more likely.”
Adesina turned back to Aleron. “You cannot come with us. It is far too dangerous. We will take you to a nearby village, and there we must part ways.”
He looked at her anxiously and was about to speak, but she held up a hand to stop him. “No, Aleron, do not argue. From the village you may begin your own journey of healing, like you always wanted to do, but you cannot come with us.”
He searched each of the faces of the L’avan, looking for one with sympathy, but they were all in agreement. He sighed in disappointment and nodded.
After the meal, they packed up their makeshift camp and remounted their horses. Adesina was still feeling a bit weak, but did her best to act otherwise.
They began riding west, for this was the direction of the nearest village. Very little was said as they rode, especially by Aleron. He kept his eyes fixed on his horse’s ears, his face heavy with despondency.
As if in response to his mood, the sky clouded over and it began to rain. At first it was no more than a light drizzle, but it grew heavier as the hours wore on. By the time the village came into view that evening, they were all drenched.
They rode into town just as the shops were beginning to close, so L’iam led them to a small inn. The interior smelled strongly of cooking grease and onions, and the air was filled with smoke. Still, it was warm, and they were glad for a roof over their head. The proprietor eyed them suspiciously and admitted that he had some empty rooms, but insisted on being paid in advance.
The L’avan first sat down around a table placed in a corner and ordered supper, which the owner brought out and carelessly tossed on the table. It consisted of some greasy potatoes and wooden chunks of meat, but it was accepted gratefully.
Once left alone, Sa’jan asked, “What are we going to do now?”
L’iam was struggling to saw a piece of meat into a more manageable size. “Tomorrow we will resupply and set out as soon as possible. We have lost too much time as it is.”
He glanced at Ravi with a questioning look in his eye. Ravi nodded once. “That would be wise.”
Adesina felt a wave of anxiety. “How much time do we have?”
He shook his head slowly. “Things are becoming less clear. I only know that we must hurry.”
Aleron frowned in confusion. “Why must you hurry?”
She hesitated before deciding to explain. “Do you remember the man taken from the High City just before I left?”
He nodded. “The magic…I mean, the L’avan?”
“Yes,” she affirmed. “We are on our way to rescue him from the Shimat.”
Aleron’s frown deepened. “It seems to be a very dangerous mission to risk for one man. Is he important?”
“Every L’avan is important to us,” replied Sa’jan. “Hopefully, he will not be the only one we save.”
“Also,” added E’nes, “He is our father.”
Adesina couldn’t bear to look at the sympathetic expression on Aleron’s face. His voice was brimming with sorrow. “Had he come to find you?”
Her smile was self-mocking. “I am doubtful, since he was not aware that I was alive.”
“Then why was he in the High City?”
Adesina didn’t know the answer to this question. She glanced at L’iam, who shook his head in response. “Even I do not know. His mission was given to him by my father. I suspect it had something to do with the rumors we were hearing about Shimat activity.”
“Well, if he was looking for the Shimat, he found them,” she said coldly.
E’nes reached over to take her hand. “It is not your fault,” he insisted.
She abruptly got to her feet. “I am going to bed. What time should we leave tomorrow morning?”
L’iam’s expression was touched with sadness as he looked her in the eye. “As soon as the shops open.”
She nodded curtly and then asked the innkeeper to show her to her room. Adesina, L’era, and Ravi were to share one room, and the others would share another. Ravi followed her upstairs and into the cramped, musty room where they would be spending the night. The straw filled mattresses that made up the bedding smelled like they had never been changed, and the blanket spread over it was thin and scratchy.
Adesina ignored all of this and laid down facing the wall. She heard Ravi sit down on the floor next to her bed.
“You know, he is right. It is not your fault, Ma’eve.”
“If I wished to discuss it,” she said shortly, “I would have.”
His tone of voice was light but serious. “Do not lash out at me, my friend. I am not the one with whom you are angry.”
“Who, then?” she asked sarcastically.
“Yourself.”
She had been ready to make some biting remark, but this simple reply stopped her in her tracks. Deep down she knew that she was acting childish and that Ravi was right. Her self-loathing was so firmly rooted that she felt it pois
oning her soul.
Adesina rolled over to look her guardian in the eye. “I am angry with myself.”
His voice was gentle. “I know, dear one.”
“So angry that I do not know what to do about it.”
He shook his head. “You have no reason for such hatred.”
“Do I not?” she asked incredulously. “Shall I list all the atrocious things I have done in my life?”
Ravi quirked an eyebrow. “I know what you have done in your life. I know everything about you, Ma’eve. None of it means that you are a terrible person, just that you are human. A human who was manipulated by those she trusted.”
She set her jaw stubbornly. “That does not excuse anything I have done.”
He sighed. “Are you happy for the things you have done? Are you anxious to rejoin the Shimat?”
Adesina raised herself up on one elbow. “Of course not!”
“Well, then?”
She laid back down. “Well, what?”
Ravi also settled down. “You have no reason for your self-hatred.”
“Hmph,” she turned away, unable to think of an argument.
“Stop being obstinate, Ma’eve. You have only ever tried to do your best with the knowledge you were given. There is no fault in that.”
“I have done much harm,” she whispered.
“Then right it,” he suggested. “Right the wrongs, change your purposes from evil to good. That is all you can do. Being angry will only destroy yourself.”
Adesina let her breath out slowly and felt a tear drop from the corner of her eye. “You are right. I cannot be of use in this state of mind.”
“I am not advising you to repress your emotions,” he added. “I am simply stating that you should not allow your remorse to turn into self-loathing. Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and make an effort to change.”
She nodded and closed her eyes, still tired from the previous night. As she was dozing off to sleep, she vaguely heard L’era come into the room to check on her.
She felt a slender hand brush her hair away from her forehead and a quiet voice whisper, “We all love you, Adesina, no matter what you did in the past.”
