A slow smile spreads, "By the way, you just inherited a jeep, congratulations."
She gets up and glances back, "I'll find you before I leave."
I nod and suddenly feel like I'm being abandoned. Sara puts her arms around me and squeezes, sensing my mood change, "Hey don't worry, it'll be okay."
I'm really not sure that in the end everything will be okay. I can only hope.
Chapter 32
Ever
I'm swimming fast, probably faster than I've ever swum. It feels like something or someone is following me. I glance back but the water is hazy. I can't see anything clearly. My heart is beating so fast, I think it might burst from exhaustion. Then I feel it, a sharp pain in my side. I glance down and see blood seeping into the water around me. I'm falling. The surface, where the air and water meet is falling farther away from me. I grab for anything to keep me from drifting farther away but nothing...
I jerk up into a sitting position and find myself on the couch in the living room. I look around and realize I'm alone. The T.V. is on, tuned to some reality show, I never started watching. I let my body relax a little and sink back into the cushions. I look down to my side just to make sure. It's been a while since I've had a dream. That one was not good. I was the one injured...I think. The light in the room is slowly seeping away. It must be dusk. I get up realizing I need some real food before I'm condemned to fish for life. Maybe I can scrounge some fruit. I wonder how it would survive 'traveling'.
I make my way to the kitchen. The house is so still and silent. I must be the only one home. My parents left a note on the table. They are out playing tennis again. This hobby has lasted longer than the others. Maybe they finally found something. It dawns on me that I won't be around to find out if it stuck with them.
I shake my head and push it away. I will not let this sadness consume me anymore. I have to live for me. Before I fell asleep I came to the conclusion that all the events leading up to this moment have been ruled by my emotions. I let them overtake me and guide my life in directions not good for me. I vowed to let my head rule from now on and to grow some thicker skin.
I climb the steps to pack my bag. Hopefully I can be gone before anyone gets home. Goodbyes are not good for my new outlook. I walk by James' room stopping to glance in from the doorway. I'm gonna miss that kid. The room looks like a bomb went off. There must be every piece of clothing he owns, strewn across the floor. I maneuver my way to his desk to write a quick note. I told him I'd say goodbye but this way it's better for both of us.
Back in my room, I pack a couple outfits, bathing suits, and the fruit I grabbed from the kitchen, into my backpack. The last thing I need to do, Gabbi. I grab my cell and call her. It rings and rings going straight to her voicemail.
Taking a deep breathe my voice falters a little, "Uh, Gabbs, I just...wanted you to know... I love you. You are such a ray of sunshine, don't ever lose that." My voice starts to crack so I hang up.
Breathe Ever, thick skin...
I pocket my phone and close my eyes holding my bag tight to my shoulder. Gam-aw, I visualize my grandmother in her little apartment in chilly Chicago.
Thirty seconds later, I open my eyes. The first thing that hits me is the smell in the air, apple pie. I follow my nose to the kitchen and find her with her small frame focusing on something at the counter. I clear my throat so she doesn't get startled, "Hmmm."
She turns to me and smiles warily, "Hi, Ever, are you going back now?"
I nod not smiling or showing any emotion. This is a good test to my turning over a new leaf.
She wipes her hands on her apron and walks over closer, "Would you like some pie before you go?"
I smile and sit at the small, wrought iron table. She goes to the fridge and pours me a glass of milk.
I take it from her, meeting her eyes the whole time.
She sits down across from me and grasps my free hand, squeezing. "What would you like me to tell your parents when they call?"
I look away, ugh, I faltered, thick skin Ever, Commit...
I look back up and meet her gaze, "I wrote a note and left it for James, telling him to tell them that he drove me to the train station to come here."
She nods, "Which college?"
I smile broadly, "Roosevelt, I was actually accepted there."
She pats my hand, "Maybe at some point in the..."
I shake my head not letting her finish. I will not let myself have hope. That is not something I can afford right now. Life is what it is for me. I can accept that, I have to.
"Gam-aw, I'm going back, I've accepted that, I will live with the choices I've made and not look back."
She takes a deep breath and winks, "Are you sure you're only eighteen? You sure seem a whole lot wiser than that."
Then there's a ringing on the stove, signaling that the pie is ready.
***
I spent a couple of hours with Gam-aw, really talking about life and how I've accepted this fate. I finally decided it was time. We hugged and I left.
Now I'm in the blue room in Amber's dwelling unsure about the immediate future. Getting here was no problem. I thought it might be tricky because Seamus has the city under a protective shield but it was pretty effortless. The only snag was that I traveled here with legs. When I got here, I realized the legs and air thing don't go together. By the time I was able to will my fin, my lungs were screaming at me. I was probably very close to passing out.
I take a deep sea breath and aim for the door. As I'm reaching for the handle, it turns and opens. I look up and meet those green eyes that are so familiar. Amber glides backwards.
"You scared me half to death. I heard a noise..."
She rushes at me to hug me. I hug her back and mumble over her shoulder, "It's so good to see you."
She moves back and tells me, "I was worried when Alex came back and you stayed."
I frown, Alex, I forgot for a little while. I was so terrible to him. I brush her worry away, "Is he around? I probably need to go and apologize to him."
She shakes her head, "I'm not sure where he is. He came by a few weeks ago when he came back, but I haven't seen him since. He wouldn't tell me why he was back, just that it was for the best."
I nod, "It was for the best, I need to find him though."
She grins slyly, "Okay, but you probably need to go see Seamus first."
My heart speeds up at that prospect. I really don't have any desire to go and see my extremely old grandfather. He is still not my favorite person in this new world. I tell her I will, having every intention of finding Alex first. I just don't have a clue as to where to start. The last time I was here and every time before that Amber helped me find my way around. The one time I took off by myself did not end well. I got lost and the castle mermen came after me. Amber was super angry.
I search my bag to find a snack, the apples made it. I'll be good for a little while. When they run out, I'll have to deal with the fish situation, yuck.
Amber chuckles, "You brought your own food?"
I glance up grinning, "Of course, you know I did."
I swim past her to the big room before the door leading out into the city. I feel her hand on my arm, "Do you want me to come with you?"
I look into her worried eyes and pat her hand, "No, I'll be fine. I'm pretty sure I can find my way."
She hovers in that spot unsure as I turn to the door and use a 'will' for the first time in forever. The door opens easily for me. I smirk, that never gets old. I swim out heading straight for the castle. I have a feeling that is where Alex will be. I have a few minutes to come up with a convincing apology.
Chapter 33
James
I've spent the whole day with Sara dreading the moment she decides it's time to leave. I know it's inevitable but that doesn't make it easier. Damn, I've really fallen for this one. How did that happen?
We are sitting on the swings at the park down the road from my house. She turns toward me and places her arm on my should
er, "Hey, what are you so deep in thought about?"
I shrug. I'm not going to make it worse by voicing my fears. She's going back and that's it, I'm not going to start a conversation that might upset her.
She moves her swing closer to mine, leans up and kisses my cheek. I turn my face and meet her lips with mine. Our kiss deepens and I savor this moment, committing it to my memory.
I hear a gurgling sound behind me and break our connection to turn toward the sound. I jump out of the swing letting it gain momentum from my sudden departure. A man, a lot older than us is walking toward us. I notice his intense yellow eyes and jagged teeth. Sara slowly climbs out of her swing and grabs my hand squeezing.
She leans in to my ear and whispers, "I have to go."
I look down at her with a pained look and back at the Erebus in front of us. I lean down and embrace her in my arms.
"I..uh...I'll miss you."
She nods her head into my shoulder.
She pulls away and walks toward the man standing in front of us. I just watch frozen with my heart breaking as they disappear.
***
Things just got better when I walked into my bedroom and found a note from Ever, telling me she went back. At this point it's taking everything in me not to follow them both.
It's actually kind of ironic to think about. A few months ago when I came back I couldn't get away fast enough. I wanted to come back so badly, I traveled in my sleep. Now here I am wanting more than anything to go back to that place.
The best part yet, I now have to lie for Ever. Not the biggest deal for me, but hopefully, questions won't come up, that I won't be able to answer.
***
This last week of school is going to go by so slow. Waking up this morning had been hard, knowing Sara won't be at school. As I climb into the jeep, my phone rings. Garrett's car broke down so he needs a ride, figures.
I pull up and he gets in complaining, "Damn, I can't believe my car broke down."
He glances into the backseat and asks," Dude, where's Ever."
"Uh Garrett, she graduated, remember."
"Oh yeah I fogot, guess things'll be pretty quiet without the seniors there. Hey, we're the seniors now. Pretty cool."
How did I ever become friends with him? How did he even get this far without failing a grade or two?
I'm quiet the whole ride to school. This just solidifies even more for me how things here are so different now. I'm beginning to believe I really don't belong here.
"Dude, did you hear me?"
I glance over at Garrett. Was he talking to me?
"What did you say?"
"I just asked about that chick, Sara. You guys are really serious, aren't you? Davis and I can tell she's different."
I nod but don't say anything more. We usually don't talk about this stuff. When Davis and Jenny hooked up and started dating seriously, it was just understood. He never told us how he felt, we just accepted her as a permanent part of the group and she was an exception to our pact.
We pull in and I park the jeep. Before he gets out, Garrett tells me, "I like her, I hope it works out for you."
I look over and punch him in the arm letting him know we're done with this talk.
He winces and rubs his arm, "That shit hurt."
I get out of the jeep. Serves him right for all the times he never took anything serious.
***
The day drags and when I walk into the cafeteria, Gabbi corners me. I don't even get a chance to sit before she runs up to bombard me with questions. Great, now I have to fend her off for Ever, what a coward my sister is.
I suggest to Gabbi that we go and eat in the courtyard. We find a bench and she lays into me, "Did she actually go back without telling me? She left a message but it was so... Ever, she said like two sentences and neither one was, I'm going back now, more like... have a nice life."
I tell her smiling, "Gabbi, take a breath."
She sinks to the bench beside me, "Why wouldn't she say goodbye? Oh James, I'm going to miss her so much."
I nod at her and tell her, "So will I Gabbs."
"But, you're going back aren't you? You'll see her soon, right?"
I frown, "No, actually I won't, did she not tell you?"
"What oh no, there's more to this? What didn't she tell me?"
I run my hand through my hair. Ever probably didn't tell Gabbi everything, which makes sense. Great. What did I just do?
She gets up, puts her hands on her hips and stares down at me, "What do I not know?"
I hesitate,"Gabbi, Ever and I are on opposite sides. I'm fighting with the Erebus. Ever chose the Lior."
She gasps, "No James, why would you... she... do that? You're family, how can you fight against each other?"
I shake my head and my hair falls across my eye. I need a haircut. I look down at the ground trying not to make eye contact. I know this has got to hurt Gabbi. We've grown up together. She will be here and have no idea if we're alright and now I go and tell her we won't even be together. I'm such an ass.
"That means she's pretty much alone. How could you do that to her? You and Jack, no wonder she hasn't been able to handle anything."
I get up, put my hands on her shoulders and make her look me in the eyes, "Gabbi, I didn't plan this. Remember I didn't get a choice in this whole thing. Ever did, in fact she had two choices. I'm pretty sure she is accepting those choices now. She didn't have to go back just yet, but she wanted to."
She sits back down again, "Okay one more question, where do Sara and Alex fall in all of this?"
I doubt that was the last question, especially after my answer.
"Sara is with the Erebus and Alex is with the Lior."
She mumbles, "At least she has Alex with her."
I agree with her. I'll agree to anything at this point to avoid emotional Gabbi. This is twice I've had to deal with this side of her. Not too fond of it. I definitely like carefree Gabbi better.
The door to the cafeteria opens so we both look up. Reggie walks over frowning, "Hey, is everything alright? I thought you were coming right back."
She gets up, smooths her dress, and glances back at me whispering, "Please don't leave without saying goodbye." I nod not needing to say anything else.
Yes, I will at some point let my sister know, I am not amused with how she left me to say her goodbyes.
Chapter 34
Ever
When I approach the castle, the guards swim out to meet me.
"What is your business here?"
That's a double sided question. I decide to go with the acceptable answer.
"I'm Ever Harding, here to see my grandfather."
One guard stays in front of me hovering. The other goes back to a little box of a room that I never noticed before. So many things here resemble things on land. It makes me wonder which came first. These people have been around for a long time.
The guard comes back a few minutes later, "You can go in."
The gate opens and I swim to the immense doors and continue in as they open for me. Waiting in the hall is a mermaid I've never seen before. She is small and shy looking. She tells me as I enter the hallway, "I'm to take you to see Seamus."
Great, guess my plan to find Alex first isn't going to work.
I follow her down hallways, again losing my bearings. How anyone can find anything in this place is beyond me. The halls again take my breath away at their beauty. The luminescent glowing eases my nervousness. I am after all here to help. If I weren't here, they wouldn't have a fighting chance or so I've been told. I try to absorb that confidence I know I should have. The girl glances back at me. I've fallen behind a little. I look up and see her eyes are a deep brown. This surprises me. I thought they all had blue or green eyes. We finally reach the doors to the throne room as I remember it. She puts all her strength into opening them. I swim in trying to exude that confidence I was just thinking about. I look up and the first set of eyes I find are Metea's, she's glaring at me. My confide
nce slowly seeps away.
I stop in the middle of the room. Seamus glides up and out of his chair and envelopes me in a hug, "Congratulations on your graduation."
I pull out of his hug and smile, "Um, thank you."
Metea comes up beside him and speaks as if I'm not there, "How do we know she has any power at all? The history says she should be powerful but truthfully, she doesn't look like she could hurt a minnow."
I wince at the anger coming from her. How can this woman possibly be related to me?
Seamus places his hand on her arm and pats her, "Now Metea dear, Alex said she is powerful, I believe that he knows what he's talking about."
She turns in a huff and heads back to her chair.
The mention of Alex's name gives me that familiar flutter in my middle. I wish he was here right now.
Seamus backs up, "Ever, I would though, like to see what you can do." I nod, unsure what exactly he wants to see.
"Why don't you go and find Alex, I think tomorrow would be good. We will meet you in the training room, mid-day."
He adds, "Is your brother back in the sea yet?"
I'm not sure why I answered his question the way I did but something in me told me to lie. If he's asking, he can't know James is still at home.
I nod, "Um yes, he came back yesterday."
He glides back to his chair and sits down. "I would imagine the battle will be soon then. Be off and enjoy these last few days before things change for good."
I back out feeling Metea's eyes boring into me. I refuse to give her the satisfaction of seeing me squirm anymore though. When I get into the hall, I feel a hand on my arm. I flinch, pull away and turn to see who is grabbing me. My eyes meet the greenest eyes I've ever seen. Those eyes, they represent safety and home in so many ways. He holds his arms out, I rush into them savoring the familiarity and calmness, his embrace brings me.
He kisses the top of my head and mumbles, "I've missed you so much."
I don't respond, just close my eyes and remember that I am living in the moment right now. My emotions will not rule me.
Barely Breathing (Just Breathe) Page 13
