I leaned away from him so I could see his eyes. His arms were still wrapped around me protectively.
“What is it? You can tell me,” I encouraged.
Justin’s eyebrows bent inward as he searched my face for something.
“I had no idea how I could possibly explain the truth to you,” he continued. “I was so relieved that you were home. I even saw your reunion with your family on the news. But I decided not to interfere in your life. You had enough to deal with.”
“And when I came to Kate’s?”
“When you arrived here, I was shocked. I didn’t know what to do. Every time I saw you—the memories of what you endured slammed into me like a brick wall. I couldn’t deal, and I had no idea how you were functioning. I was going to leave you alone. I didn’t want to complicate your life. Apparently Caleb had other plans.”
What I really wanted to ask was where that left us.
“I can read your thoughts, remember? And I don’t know where it leaves us.”
How could we have a relationship if he knew everything I was thinking?
“Do you want a relationship with me?” he asked.
I laughed. “Don’t you know?”
“I can only know what you’re currently thinking. I can’t pick out your memories.”
“Is there any way to shut it off?”
“I’m learning to control it. To only hear thoughts when I want to.”
“How?”
“A friend. That girl you’ve seen me with.”
“She’s telepathic?”
“Well, no, but her grandmother is. She’s been working with me.”
I remembered all the times I had seen Justin with that girl, including at the party.
“We’re just friends,” he clarified.
Again, I wondered where that left us. Was he interested in me?
“Interested isn’t the word I’d use,” Justin whispered, his attention focused once again on my hands.
I felt the sudden urge to close the distance between us. But I had no idea how he felt about me, if he even thought of me that way.
Before I could ask anything or form another thought, his lips found mine. They were soft, warm, gentle. I parted my lips and our tongues met. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him toward me. One of his hands cradled my face, the other rested on my back. His lips left mine and traveled down to my neck.
Numerous times, I had envisioned being with the owner of the voice. But this was so much better than I had imagined. Did he really want to be with me? Even though I was broken?
The front door banged shut. We both pulled away, breathing hard.
“Caleb’s timing is impeccable, as always,” Justin said sarcastically. Looking at me, he asked, “Does that answer your question?” His eyes were warm and sincere. “I’ve thought about you every single day. I never thought I would be lucky enough to actually hold you.” He leaned in and kissed me again.
The embarrassment I had originally felt from him knowing everything that had happened to me disappeared with the understanding that he knew, and it was okay.
And kissing him was more comfortable and better than I’d ever thought possible.
Chapter 22
“I know, Mom.” How many times did we have to go over this? Switching the phone to my other ear, I said, “After Officer Martin took our statements. He went over some basic safety measures.” Seriously, we had been going around in circles for over an hour.
“Repeat them again. I want to make sure you don’t forget,” she ordered, her voice tight with concern.
“Have a companion at all times, carry my fully charged cell, and lie low. Oh, and take a picture if I see him again.” Kate came in, saw I was still on the phone, and turned around and walked back out. She had already been grilled by my mom.
There was a shuffling noise, and then I heard, “Audrey.” It was my dad. He must have taken the phone from my mother. I hadn’t spoken to him once since arriving in San Diego.
“How are you?” he asked, the worry clear in his voice.
“I’m good.”
“Listen, your mom and I want you to come home.”
I wasn’t ready to return yet. “But Dad—”
“No buts, young lady. One of your brothers will fly out and escort you home. I’ll arrange a time with them and buy the tickets. Understood?”
“Yes.” So I had no say in the matter.
“And I don’t want you left alone, not even for a second.”
“Does that include going to the bathroom?” I asked sarcastically.
“Glad to see you have your attitude back,” he countered. “The Audrey I know and love has officially returned.”
“Listen, Dad. I need to go. I still have homework to finish before school tomorrow.”
He sighed. “Fine. Put your aunt on. I want to talk to her.”
Poor Kate.
When I arrived to first period, Caleb was waiting for me outside. As usual, he had on board shorts and a T-shirt. His hair was messy—like he’d just rolled out of bed—only on him it looked good.
“So you and Justin,” he said with a devious smile.
Suddenly I wondered how Justin would treat me at school. Would he acknowledge my existence? Were we officially boyfriend and girlfriend?
Caleb opened the classroom door for me. “You’re his first girlfriend I’ve liked.” He put a hand on my shoulder, guiding me to my seat. I wondered how many girlfriends Justin had had.
As I slid into my seat, Caleb knelt down beside me. “Justin is home from school today. If you need anything, let me know.” Something had to be wrong. My stomach started to twist. “He also needs to talk to you when you get home.”
Was he breaking up with me already? Or did he know something upsetting from his mind-reading thing? “Is he sick?” I asked.
“Not really. Just exhausted. But he’ll explain everything when you see him.”
I wanted to go home, but that was impossible. Kate couldn’t leave, and I wasn’t walking that far all alone. And there was no way I could ask Caleb to ditch with me. This day was going to be torture.
Caleb put his hand on my knee, and I involuntarily jerked back. I could hear other students whispering our names. Great.
“Do you mind?” I purposely looked down at his hand.
“Sorry. It’s easier to sense you with physical contact.”
Was it necessary to sense my mood? Couldn’t he just ask like everybody else? “Regardless, I’d prefer if you didn’t touch me.” Caleb removed his hand, but stayed by my side with an amused look. “What?” I asked with a hint of annoyance.
“That’s gotta be the first time a girl’s ever said that to me.” He shook his head in disbelief.
“Poor you, Romeo.”
As soon as school was over, I begged Kate to take me home instead of working late. She agreed, and we walked to her car in the faculty lot. We climbed in, and she pulled out of her spot, joining the long line of cars exiting the lot. A group of students walked past the car. I wasn’t really paying attention until I felt someone staring at me. Looking closer at the group, I saw stalker guy.
He was watching me, smiling. It was the same guy from the football game. He was in his early twenties, with blond hair that was longer in the front. There was something disturbing about his dark eyes. They were cold and calculating, and they made me feel naked. I shuddered.
He reminded me of Bill.
Kate was talking about what we could do for dinner. “Are you even paying attention to me, Audrey?”
“It’s him.”
Suddenly all business, Kate said, “Get your phone and take a picture. Hurry.”
He melted into the crowd of students.
“Did you see him?” I asked. “He was the one in blue.”
“No, but I’ll drive around the block. Maybe we can spot him. He couldn’t have gone far.”
I didn’t like actively seeking him out, although it was better than doing nothing.
We
locked the doors and turned down the side street. Houses lined the road, and a few students were walking. None were stalker guy.
“Check the cars,” Kate ordered. She drove closer to the parked cars, and I glanced inside, searching for him. Nothing.
Kate turned down another street. Again, stalker guy was nowhere to be seen. This was insane.
“I’m getting totally freaked out,” I said.
“Me too. But we have to check.”
I nodded. We went down a different road, but it was a gated community. Turning around, we checked the street leading to a small plaza. Nothing. Driving around the plaza’s parking lot, we didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Kate finally gave up.
Once we got home, Kate walked me to Justin’s. Hopefully stalker guy was just trying to scare me, and once Bill was found guilty, my life would go back to normal. It felt awful being babied, scared, and never having a moment to myself.
After a few knocks, Justin answered the door. He had on jeans and a black T-shirt. I smiled and wondered if he owned anything else. He rolled his eyes and thanked Kate for escorting me over.
“We need to talk.” He took my hand and led me upstairs to his room.
My heart pounded. Nothing good ever came from “we need to talk.” Was he having second thoughts about us? Did he not want to be with me the way I wanted to be with him? And how could we even have a relationship if I was going home soon?
Once in his room, he released my hand. The bed was unmade and his room was a mess, like that night I saw it from Kate’s office window. Was everything okay? Justin wasn’t looking at me. I wanted to leave. I’d rather just go and try to pretend we never had anything between us rather than hear him say it out loud. At that point, hearing him tell me that he didn’t want me would crush me. Things were finally looking up. I was getting better.
“Audrey, stop. You’re distracting me.” His eyes sought mine and I realized his hair was still wet and he smelled like soap. Did he just get up?
“First thing’s first.” He wrapped his hands around my waist, pulling me close. I felt his heart beating against my cheek. With his hand, he tilted my chin up.
And we kissed. It was slow, gentle, and sweet. He tasted like mint toothpaste. The kiss was over too soon.
Justin led me over to the bed and sat me down, while he remained standing. It was strange to be staring into his charcoal eyes. Countless times I had imagined the face behind the voice. It was almost like I had been looking at Justin underwater, and now I could finally see him clearly. When I looked at him, I no longer saw anger or annoyance. Now I saw—
Love, Justin spoke in my mind. I froze. Did he just say he loved me? A flood of warmth swept through my body.
Yes, love, I thought back to him, smiling.
There was a gentle tenderness to his eyes. And something else I couldn’t easily identify. His face had an edge of worry or concern. Was I imagining it?
Justin let out a long breath and said, “You can’t read my mind, and yet you’ve pegged me.”
So he was worried. That made two of us.
“Why are you worried?” he asked. “I mean, besides the obvious. I thought you were doing better. You seem better.”
Where to begin? “Well, I saw stalker guy again.” I felt Justin’s body go rigid all over. He attempted to keep his face neutral. “My parents want me home, I need to testify, and I just want all of this behind me. It seems like it’ll never end.”
Justin ran his hands through his hair and paced back and forth in front of his bed. I wasn’t sure if he was thinking about what I said, or about whatever had him worried in the first place. It was still hard to believe the voice was standing before me.
He laughed. Believe me, I never thought you would be sitting in my room either.
Out loud he said, “But we really need to talk. I’ll just come out and say it. I was worried with the stalker guy situation, so I had my mom ask Kate for a picture of Bill. I wanted to find his mind. I figured I could sense him in jail since I’d heard him before.”
Justin looked at me to gauge my reaction. I nodded for him to continue, suddenly afraid of what he would say. “You always twist your hair like that when you’re nervous,” he observed.
I didn’t realize I was playing with my hair. I forced my hands into my lap. “Continue.”
“I found Bill’s mind, and you are in danger.”
The room spun. Suddenly I was back in the cabin, on the mattress. Justin sat next to me and grabbed my hands.
“Audrey, look at me.”
My eyes found his and I realized I was safe, that I was here with Justin. I nodded for him to go on.
“He’s paying this guy to stalk you. He’s supposed to scare you into changing your testimony so you’ll corroborate Bill’s story. If you don’t, Bill wants you killed in order to prevent you from testifying against him.”
Justin’s eyes scanned my face as he read my thoughts. Thoughts I couldn’t even begin to decipher. Bill wanted me to say I went with him willingly, or he wanted me dead. I could tell Justin was waiting for me to fall apart.
Instead of wanting to cry, I found myself angry.
How dare Bill?
And it didn’t make sense. Even if I said I went willingly, no one would believe it. I was underage. He was my uncle. And when the police examined me, I was bruised and malnourished, and my wrists were bloody from being tied. There was physical evidence of the rape. The cabin’s windows were boarded up, there was a mattress on the ground and a small basin for a toilet, and Bill’s bodily fluid was all over the place. On the wall at the head of the mattress was the word “help” that I had carved with my nails.
But none of that mattered, because I wouldn’t corroborate his story. Ever. He was a sick bastard and I wanted him locked away forever. I would testify to help ensure that he didn’t do this to anyone else.
So I had a psycho stalker who had instructions to kill me. There had to be something I could do to stop him, right?
“I swear to you, we will stop him,” Justin promised.
“I’m going home soon. Maybe he won’t follow me.” Not likely, but still a possibility.
There was a new pain on Justin’s face. Just when our relationship was beginning, I had to return home.
“Not really,” he said.
“What?” My parents wanted me home, and the trial would be starting soon.
“No, I meant that our relationship isn’t new. I’ve known you for months. And just because you’re going home doesn’t mean it’s ending.”
I didn’t want to worry about the future right then. Being with Justin gave me the first real sense of hope that I’d had since my abduction.
Justin smiled, lighting up his face. “We need to focus on keeping you safe. This time, at least you know it’s coming.”
Were all of our conversations going to be this insane? Mostly thoughts? Never talking?
Justin kissed me. “I hope so.”
Chapter 23
“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” I grabbed the edge of my seat as Justin passed a minivan.
“Haven’t you ever ditched school before?” Justin asked.
Sometimes I assumed he already knew the answer—I’d forget he only had access to the thoughts I was currently thinking about.
“Not real ditching. My mom has pulled me out to go shopping before, but I’ve never ditched with a friend just for fun. My parents would kill me.” Luckily Kate had said it was okay as long as we were tied at the hip.
Justin smiled. “Goody two-shoes.”
The purpose of the day was to have fun—to do something special that I could only do in California. However, I was having trouble relaxing. First of all, Justin took Caleb’s Jeep without asking, right from the school parking lot. Now we were weaving in and out of morning rush-hour traffic. There were twelve lanes total going both directions on the I-5 just south of Disneyland. He had insisted we have a memorable first date. Right now, I’d be satisfied with not crashing. Just
in glanced at me, smirking.
When we arrived, Justin parked the car. I was about to get out when he grabbed his iPod.
“You’re not taking that, are you?” I didn’t want him to shut down and not talk to me.
“It’s hard to avoid thousands of thoughts coming at me all at once.” He forced a smile.
“Will you please try, for me?” There had to be a way to help him. He stared at me a moment before putting his iPod in his pocket. Holding hands, we headed toward what claimed to be “the happiest place on earth.” I’d be the judge of that.
When we entered the park, Main Street greeted me, along with Minnie and Mickey Mouse.
“Let’s go!” Justin pulled me along. Before I could say anything, we were running past the stores. Peering down at me, he smiled. “Space Mountain, baby!”
All of my tension and anxiety faded as the kid in me awoke. We road all of Justin’s favorites—Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Tours, and Thunder Mountain. After that last ride, on which I screamed the whole time and thoroughly embarrassed myself, we sat in the sun and ate lunch.
We agreed to try and have normal conversations, where we actually spoke to each other. Justin wanted to work on blocking out my thoughts.
“Thanks for bringing me here,” I said. “This place is amazing and just what I needed.”
“Me too,” he said, taking another bite of his chicken sandwich.
“What do you mean?” Was I stressing him out with my problems?
Justin put his food down and sighed. “I spent yesterday morning locating your uncle’s mind and listening to him. He’s one sick bastard. But that’s not the point. It’s just, whenever I exert myself like that, it leaves me exhausted.”
I never thought about what this was doing to him. I had been so concerned with what he knew about me and what had happened, I never stopped to think about the toll it took on him. How selfish of me.
“Was it exhausting communicating with me?” I asked.
He nodded, and I remembered Caleb saying something about Justin quitting the football team.
“I spent most of the summer cooped up in my room, either with you or sleeping. I didn’t have the energy for anything else,” he admitted.
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