by Ian Todd
“Shame.”
“Shame?”
“Aye, oan how shitty Ah’ve treated ye. Maybe things wid’ve turned oot differently if Ah hidnae been such a selfish basturt. Ah’m sorry fur aw the hurt Ah caused ye, Senga…truly.”
“Johnboy, whit’s happened, happened. Maybe things wid’ve been different, if Ah’d been honest aboot ma feelings and plucked up the courage tae express them tae ye as well. It’s no as if Ah never hid the opportunity, seeing as how we wur always in each other’s company. Ah think we hiv tae be realistic though. Even if we hid goat thegither, dae ye no think that ye’d still be sitting in here?” she asked, allowing him tae take her hauns in his.
“Ah don’t know.”
“Ah dae. That’s why Ah wis pushing ye tae commit tae leaving Glesga and leaving yer pals behind. Ah jist don’t believe that Tony wid leave you…us…alane, if you wur back in the toon. It his tae be a new start fur me tae feel comfortable that we’re thegither.”
“That’s a difficult wan fur me, so it is.”
“Aye, Ah know, Ah’ve picked that up in yer letters, bit it’s the only way it kin be, if it’s tae work.”
“Why?”
“It’s aboot change. Johnboy, Ah’m no stupid. Ah’ve worked in casualty fur far too long noo, no tae recognise whit hid been and still is, gaun oan wae you and yer pals. Ah’m sickened by the devastation in people’s lives, caused by people like you and them. And fur whit? Ah get confronted by senseless violence every time Ah go tae ma work. Ah’m no Kim Sui or any ae the other lassies. They don’t get confronted by the after-effects ae whit their boyfriends get up tae the night before, the way that Ah dae. That’s up tae them, bit it’s no me. Ah don’t want tae be wae somewan who’s inflicting hurt oan people and who kin then jist heid hame and sleep it aff, as if nothing’s happened.”
“Ach, we’re no as bad as ye think we ur.”
“Aye, ye ur. The quicker ye address yer denial issues, the better.”
“Ah spoke tae the priest in here aboot how somewan should feel when they’re supposed tae be in love,” he admitted, changing the subject.
“You…spoke tae a priest?”
“Ah’m trying tae work oot how Ah should be feeling…tae make sure Ah’m in tune wae whit it is Ah think is expected ae me,” he replied, smiling at the look oan her face. “See, Ah knew Ah shouldnae hiv said anything. Ah’m no exactly spoilt fur choices in the sounding board stakes in a place like this.”
“Hiv ye spoken tae Fanny?”
“Don’t you start.”
“Johnboy, if ye hiv tae ask somewan whether ye’re in love or no, then the chances ur ye’re no in love. Being in love is aboot feeling good, bit fearful at the same time. It’s aboot wanting tae spend the rest ae yer life wae somewan…tae share yer ups and doons…tae talk…aye, and even fall oot occasionally. It’s aboot caring aboot whit the other person’s needs ur and accepting their care, love and affection back. Being in love is no hivving tae question why the other person or you feel the way that ye dae, bit accepting, unreservedly, that how ye’re feeling kin be the best or the worst feeling in the world. Being in love is aboot bearing yer soul and equally important, being honest wae yersel.”
“Ye sound as if ye know whit ye’re talking aboot.”
“Johnboy, kin Ah ask ye a question?” she asked him, deflecting his response.
“Fire away.”
“Dis whit Ah’ve jist said describe how ye feel aboot me? Us?”
“It’s funny ye should say that,” he admitted, smiling.
“Then accept it…that’s love, so it is.”
“So, how’s ma wee slanty-eyed pal getting oan?”
“Still ducking and diving, believing we’re aw the best ae buddies.”
“Good.”
“Ah’ve found oot who’s behind him. Hiv ye heard ae a guy called Harding Lennox?”
“Ah’m no sure. Remind me.”
“He’s wan ae The McGregors’ tap boys oan their side ae the river. A right mean psycho fucker, so he is. Anyhow, Wee Pie is punting his gear through him.”
“Aye, Ah’ve heard ae Lennox noo that ye mention it. Big ugly basturt, so he is. Ah find it hard tae believe that The McGregors ur messing aboot oan The Big Man’s side ae the river. If that ever gets oot…”
“Aye, Ah know…Ah wis thinking that masel. Jake thinks Lennox is daeing this oan the side withoot letting oan tae anywan oan his side. Jake’s no convinced there wid be much ae a come-back if we hid a go at him and Wee-pie. Ah mean, who’s gonnae gie a fuck aboot them wance it comes oot in the wash that they’ve been operating independently behind everywan’s back?”
“Aye, well, jist tell Jake tae hing back and we’ll see whit the situation is wance Ah’m oot ae here. Wan-bob’s no daft. He’ll be expecting us tae ramp up the pressure oan behauf ae Johnboy, bit we’ll need tae watch whit we’re daeing and no gie them any excuses tae hiv a go at us at this stage ae the game.”
“Right, here’s wan fur ye. Who’s this Connor…Robert Connor?”
“Never heard ae him.”
“Ye hiv. He’s daeing life doon here fur murdering some wee school lassie oot near Stirling.”
“Ye mean Robert The Beast?” Tony asked, surprise in his voice, his eyes narrowing. “Whit aboot him?”
“Ah hope ye’re still sitting comfortably…”
“Ah’ve started daeing voluntary work in ma spare time, so Ah hiv.”
“Voluntary work? Whit dis that mean?”
“It means ye volunteer yer time tae help people oot. There’s a wummin’s shelter in the toon. It opened last year. It’s a place…a sort ae refuge fur wummin where they…and sometimes their weans…kin go tae escape domestic violence at hame.”
“Is that no a wee bit like daeing a homer wae you being a casualty nurse?”
“Naw, this is totally different. Ah’ve started helping oot a few nights a week when Ah’m no oan the back shift. There’s a few ae the other lassies at work daeing it as well.”
“So, whit dae youse actually dae?”
“Usually jist listen tae people’s stories, haud their haun, that kind ae thing. It kin be pretty harrowing. Sometimes the wummin go straight fae casualty tae the shelter. Wae me being a nurse, Ah kin see that their injuries ur kept clean and make sure their dressings get changed. Some ae the poor souls hivnae spoken aboot whit’s been happening tae them, even though it’s been gaun oan five, ten or even fifty years, wid ye believe? Maist ae these wummin spend their whole existence living in fear ae the next hiding, which usually happens when the drink starts flowing or Celtic or Rangers get gubbed by the other side oan a Saturday. Everywan, withoot exception, dread cup final days. The wans who seek help or try tae escape ur only the tip ae the iceberg. Casualty is full ae wummin coming in wae terrible injuries inflicted oan them by men who’re supposed tae care and love them. It kin range fae broken noses and jaws, tae fags being stuffed oot oan their faces…tae broken ribs, erms and even stabbings. Very few ae the wummin will agree, or even contemplate, pressing charges and end up gaun back hame tae wait until the next time. The problem is that, although they’re ashamed ae whit’s been happening tae them, they cannae grasp that their problems ur anywan else’s business. A lot ae the wummin jist tend tae blame themsels and make excuses fur the buggers that ur assaulting them. If it wis anything else, it wid be classed as an epidemic, so it wid, bit because it’s domestic violence…people…neighbours…other family members…ur reluctant tae get involved.”
“Whit aboot the bizzies?”
“They’re pretty reluctant tae get involved either. As Ah said, it’s seen as being a domestic. Even when some ae the wummin dae press charges, the majority ae them drap them soon efter, either through threats ae mair violence or the man convinces the poor bugger that it wullnae happen again, even though it’s been happening every Friday and Saturday night fur years. Even if it dis end up in court, some ae the sentences wid be laughable if it wisnae so serious. A wee while back there, a guy goat sixty days fur tak
ing a hammer tae his wife’s skull. Ah mean, whit world ur they bloody judges living in?”
“Aye, it sounds pretty bad. Ah kin remember when Ah wis younger, that ma ae mine stormed roond tae a neighbours hoose in the next close, despite ma da trying tae haud her back fae getting involved in other people’s business. Ah wis young at the time, bit Ah kin remember ma da getting oan tae her when she came back, as he sat strapping up her haun wae a crepe bandage efter her fist hid bounced aff ae the guy’s foreheid insteid ae that nose ae his.”
“Wis that in Montrose Street?”
“Aye.”
“Who wis that then?”
“Ah cannae remember their names, bit whoever it wis, the wummin never left him. Ah kin remember when they did a moonlight flit though. Me, Tony, Skull and Joe spent hauf the next day raking aboot in the midgie-bins oot the back, looking fur luckies, efter they cleared aw the shite oot ae their hoose that they didnae want tae take wae them. Ah remember getting a bunch ae lassies’ comics like The Judy and The Bunty and gieing them tae ma sister, Norma. Skull goat himsel a good mooth organ that still worked, even though it hidnae any metal sides oan it and he kept getting his lips stuck in the reeds while he wis raking his snottery lips up and doon it,” Johnboy said, smiling.
”Poor Skull. Ah kin still remember his first day at St David’s…staunin there wae his fitba boots oan while trying tae haud up they baggy troosers ae his. Ah wonder how he wid’ve turned oot,” Senga sighed.
“Well, look at me. Ah don’t think it wid take much ae a genius tae work that wan oot.”
“Right, oan the day ae oor lib, they’ll put us oan a train first thing in the morning. Ah want ye tae pick us up in Kilmarnock. Ah’ll let ye know whit time we’ll be leaving Dumfries at the next visit. That’ll throw anywan aff ae the scent who might hiv any interest in oor movements oan the day. Don’t let anywan know, especially the lassies, that we’re being libbed early. Ah’ll speak tae Snappy and Pat this end and tell them tae keep it tae themsels. Get as much done as ye kin. Ah’ll need tae arrange tae meet up wae Wan-bob, bit we’ll keep him guessing. It’s really important that we don’t rock the boat wae that bunch ae maniacs though.”
“Goat ye.”
“Find oot who this social worker is that they’ve hit us wae.”
“His name’s Howie. None ae the other boys hiv come across him.”
“Try and check oot if there ur any connections tae Wan-bob or Charlie Hastie. Ye jist never know wae that crowd ae basturts.”
“Anything else?”
“Any mair oan Peter McCaskill or they brothers ae his?”
“Well, other than Charlie Hastie telling me that wan ae them wis across bleating tae The Big Man, it’s been quiet. The only thing Ah’ve picked up fae Wee Parky up in Roystonhill is that they’ve been telling a few people that they’re gonnae skin Ben alive when they get their hauns oan him, bit other than that, there’s been nothing,” Simon replied, shrugging.
“It’s really important that we don’t get distracted. We’ve goat enough oan oor plates withoot hivving run-ins wae them. Wance people hear we’re oot, they’ll be expecting trouble and will be oan their guard, especially Wee-Pie and the bizzies. We need tae let the dust settle before we start ranking up oor activity, so make sure Jake, Peter and Ben ur clear oan that wan.”
“Time, ladies and gentlemen,” Dickheid Dick shouted, happy as fuck tae see the disappointed looks oan the faces ae the YOs and their visitors. “Could aw the prisoners jist sit where they ur until the visitors leave the room.”
“We’ve goat an unwelcome lodger that we’re desperate tae get rid ae, bit he refuses tae leave, despite threats ae violence,” Senga said.
“A lodger? Threats ae violence?” Johnboy asked, alarmed.
“Aye.”
“Who?” he demanded, barely able tae breath.
“No who, bit whit. Lizzie is convinced it’s a rat due tae the racket ae him scurrying up the inside ae the walls, bit it’s probably jist a moose. When Ah wis young in the Toonheid, ma granny used tae say that the mice wore tackity boots oan purpose, tae keep everywan awake at night. Johnboy, ur ye awright? Ye look as if ye’ve jist seen a ghost.”
“Ah befriended a moose wance, when Ah wis in borstal. Ah called him Rabbie. He used tae crawl under ma door at night, looking fur morsels. Ah’d always leave bits fae the stale bun they gied us last thing at night before the lights went oot. Ah wonder how he goat oan efter Ah left. Polmont wis always full ae these big cats wandering aboot,” he remembered, calming doon.
“Well, Ah suppose ye could call Lizzie a big cat. If she ever gets her hauns, or the heel ae her shoe oan it, then it’ll be curtains fur wee Rabbie. Tae us nurses, mice ur carriers ae diseases. It’s instilled intae us in oor training. There won’t be any prisoners if Lizzie his her way. She’s gone oot and bought hauf a dozen traps. The first time she tried tae set them up, she nearly lost a finger when the trap sprung back when she took her haun aff ae it,” she said, laughing.
“Christ, Ah thought at first ye meant somewan hid forced their way intae yer flat,” Johnboy confessed, relieved.
“We should be so lucky. Ah’m telling ye, living wae Lizzie is a wance in a lifetime experience, so it is.
“Look, don’t be annoyed wae Simon. He wis only daeing whit he wis asked,” Johnboy reminded her, staunin up.
“It’s okay fur you tae say, bit ye should’ve seen the guy that came roond tae change the locks. He looked like something oot ae a Hammer Hoose ae Horror film, so he did. Poor Lizzie jist aboot hid a heart attack when she opened the door oan the landing, so she did.”
“That’s jist Harper. He’s always been as ugly as sin, so he his.”
“Aye, bit who asked fur oor locks tae be changed anyway? Whit will the factor say when he finds oot?”
“Look, Senga, it wis me. Ah thought it wid make youse feel safer efter yer wee fantasy escapade wae yer flatmate.”
“And the phone?”
“Ah never knew ye wur planning tae get a phone put in, so Ah thought it wid be better if ye hid wan.”
“Look, Ah don’t want tae be cheeky or sound unappreciative, bit Ah’m independent, Johnboy. Lizzie and me kin make oor ain decisions. Okay, we wur planning tae get a phone put in, bit that’s no the point. In the future, ask. Jist don’t go assuming, okay? It’s jist too creepy.”
“Aye, ye’re right, Ah’m sorry.”
“So, ur ye much clearer aboot us? Despite the hurdles, dae we hiv a future thegither?” Senga asked him, looking intae his eyes, as some ae the visitors started moving past them towards the exit.
“Aye, Ah feel a lot better…and clearer.”
“Good. Oh, and Johnboy, kin Ah jist say something that hopefully won’t annoy ye?”
“Aye, of course.”
“In a relationship…any relationship between two people…it’s very important that everything is up front and oot in the open.”
“Meaning?”
“Dae Ah really hiv tae spell it oot? Telling the truth tae each other is crucial. Ah’ll never lie tae ye and Ah hope you’ll be the same wae me.”
“Whit’s making ye say that?”
“Ah don’t know. Ah don’t know if it’s wae being aroond Simon again or whit, bit it’s really important that ye never lie tae me and that if there’s anything gaun oan that Ah should know aboot, ye’ll tell me.”
“Senga, Ah’ve been involved in a lot ae bad, and some wid say, unforgivable things in ma life. Ur ye saying ye want tae know everything aboot that?”
“Ye know fine well that that’s no whit Ah’m saying. Whitever ye’ve done, ye’ll hiv tae live wae. Regarding us, Ah need tae know that ye’ve drawn a line in the sand and that fae here oan in, whit happened in the past, stays in the past. Ah’m talking aboot the future…aboot us…aboot respect fur each other. Oor relationship his tae be based oan truth, honesty and respect, so it dis. Kin ye accept the importance ae that and accept where Ah’m coming fae?” she asked, looking at him.
“Of course Ah
kin,” he lied, gratefully accepting the erms being wrapped roond his neck and feeling her body pressing hard against his as he drew her towards him, kissing her oan the lips.
“Good evening. My name is John Turney and these are the news headlines in Scotland tonight.
Hopes of a settlement in the Glasgow bus dispute were raised earlier today after it was revealed that further talks by union and management officials would continue. Deadlock in the talks so far have brought a shutdown to services across the city…
The Chairman of the Scottish Police Federation, John Robertson, is calling for all police officers in Scotland to be armed following the shooting of two unarmed, plain clothed police officers, who raided a house in search of a violent criminal in Nethan Street in Govan late last night. It’s thought that one of the police officers, Sergeant Thomas Paling, is in a critical condition in the city’s Western Infirmary where he has undergone surgery for gunshot wounds to his abdomen. The other officer, PC Wilber Hopeman, was said to be in a satisfactory condition in The Royal Infirmary after being transferred there this morning. The gunman, Terence Davidson, a well-known gangster in the south of the city, was later shot dead by police sharpshooters in a house in Summertown Road in Govan, bringing the incident to a close. It’s thought Davidson was wanted in connection with a string of armed robberies in the city over the past year. A spokesman for The Secretary of State for Scotland said that the Secretary didn’t believe that arming the police was the answer and could lead to more criminals arming themselves if they knew the police were carrying guns…
Well known comedian and popular Scottish TV star, Charlie Chip, cut the ribbon to open the new extension of Glasgow businessman John McCaffrey’s Honest John’s Kitchen Essentials store on Dumbarton Road this morning, causing traffic hold-ups to those heading to work. It’s believed that over a thousand screaming shoppers, mostly housewives, turned up for the event…
An articulated lorry containing over six hundred thousand cigarettes was stolen from WH & HO Wills Number 12 Factory on Alexander Parade last night…
