Swallowing hard, she looked down at the page, reading the lines again. He reached toward her and she stiffened, thinking he was going to take the notebook from her, but he reached for her wrist instead, studying the ink inside.
Oh, fucking hell. She never put her leather bracelet back on after her shower. She never forgot, because she didn’t want anyone seeing the tattoo, not even herself. But she had so much on her mind, it never occurred to her. And she was wishing it had, because she didn’t want him seeing it. Didn’t want him thinking he still had power over her.
“I got it after I’d been drinking. Just a moment of weakness, nothing more. I always keep it covered up. I don’t need any reminders of our past, and if I could scrape it off with the dull edge of a knife, I would. Don’t go reading anything into it.”
He glanced up at her with an inscrutable expression, and then looked back down at her wrist again. He gently traced the edges of the four-leaf clover, pulling her wrist closer to his face. “It has always, and a key, hidden in the design.”
Of course he saw that. No one who’d seen it had ever noticed it, but Jax saw it immediately. “I told you, the tattoo was a mistake. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“If it doesn’t, why do you keep it hidden away where no one can see it?”
“Maybe for the same reason you keep that song hidden away,” she shot back. Closing her eyes, she shook her head. That wasn’t what she meant to say. She just as much admitted that the ink had meaning for her. Yanking her arm back, she said, “Play the song, Jax. Let someone else hear it.”
Studying her thoughtfully, he finally nodded, heading to his old guitar, the same one he’d played when they were still together. Perching on the edge of the bed as he sat on a stool, she crossed her arms tightly as she waited. If he wanted to poke at her old wounds, she’d poke at his.
He strummed the opening chords on his guitar and then began singing.
“When I saw you for the first time,
I could imagine that our love, would be so divine.
Knowing as the years passed, our lives forever entwined,
You, my dear, are never far from my mind.”
Body stilling, she listened as his beautiful smoky voice wrapped around the words, and she swore she felt them like a caress on her skin. Maybe this hadn’t been the best idea, but for the life of her, she couldn’t ask him to stop.
“I told you, right from the start. That you hold the key, the key to my heart.
Together we can gaze upon the highest star. Together forever, love will always be ours.”
Locking his eyes on her, he sang from the heart, every word infused with so much emotion, and there was no way she could pretend he didn’t mean every single word. She felt mesmerized, her emotions rising and falling as she felt the meaning behind the words.
“Twenty years have gone so fast, where does the time go?
But nevertheless knowing you still have a lifetime to go.
Never knowing what lies ahead, your heart will always show.
Every time I see your smile, I see your angelic glow.”
Listening as he sang, it was clear that every word, every emotion he put into it, he genuinely felt. She wanted to tell herself he was just an accomplished performer and was only acting, but she knew down to her soul, this was the most truthful performance she’d ever heard.
“I told you, right from the start. That you hold the key, the key to my heart.
Together we can gaze upon the highest star. Together forever, love will always be ours.”
The final chord echoed through the air long after Jax played it, and Piper struggled to control the emotions rioting through her. To her dismay, she felt her nose sting as tears pressed against her eyes. Suddenly furious, she dashed her hands across her eyes and shot up from the bed.
“If that’s how you felt, why the fuck did you end things with me like you did? You stomped my heart to bits and crushed my soul to dust. Why the hell would you do that if you loved me then? Why would you never find me to make things right, if you still had feelings for me? You’ve had eight motherfucking years, Jackson Brody St. James. Eight. Years.”
Looking torn, he hesitated. “There was a good reason. I promise you that, Piper. But there are things I couldn’t tell you, things you don’t know—”
“If you’re talking about the fact that you’re not quite human, that’s not exactly news to me, Jax. You’re going to have to do better than that.”
Jax froze in the act of putting his guitar down, mind racing. She knew he was different this whole time? She’d never let on, not once. Turning, he studied her where she was standing by his bed glaring at him. She was pissed off and defiant, but he could see the hurt simmering below the surface.
Fix it. Mix mate, his eagle begged, clawing at Jax’s chest.
“You know I’m different? This whole time?” he asked cautiously.
“Oh please,” she retorted, rolling her eyes. “We’ve known each other for twenty years, and were best friends for most of that. Did you really think you were that good at hiding shit? You’re too fast sometimes, too strong. You’d get hurt, sometimes seriously, and be fine hours later. And your vision is even better than mine, and mine’s perfect. Nobody—nobody can find thirty-six four-leaf-clovers in one lifetime! I might not know what you are, but of course I know you’re different. I knew that by the time I was ten.”
Feeling a little shell-shocked, he made his way past her and sank down on the bed, thinking hard. Remaining standing, she crossed her arms, foot tapping as she waited.
“Well?” she finally asked, exasperation in her voice. “Did you breaking it off with me have something to do with what you are?”
“Will you sit down?” he asked, turning on the bed.
“I’m fine standing,” she snapped.
“Please, Piper,” he said softly.
She watched him before huffing a breath and sitting down. “There. Now answer the question.”
“It did,” he finally admitted. “I didn’t want to do it, Pippy. Please believe that. But I didn’t think I had a choice.”
“I’m gonna need more than that, St. James.”
“Fuck, Piper. There’s so much—”
“No bullshit excuses. Tell me the truth. I deserve to know,” she demanded, the stubborn look on her face warning him he wasn’t getting out of telling her everything.
“Okay, you’re right. You do.” He paused, and then spoke as she opened her mouth. “Just give me a second to get my thoughts in order.” She nodded, and he took a deep breath. “The truth is I’m a shifter. I share my body with an animal. Everything you noticed is true. I’m faster and stronger, and I heal quickly. I have better vision, and hearing as well. I don’t get sick, and I can hear lies.”
Violet eyes wide, she stared at him, running her fingers through her dyed tresses. “Okay. You’re a shifter. What kind of animal do you have?”
Lips quirking, he nodded to the tat on her thigh. “I’m an eagle.”
“Are you fucking serious?” she asked incredulously. “You mean to tell me I have two tattoos linked to you?”
Chuckling, Jax shook his head. “I think your eagle doesn’t have to count. You didn’t know what I was when you got it.”
“That’s true,” she replied with a small smile that faded quickly. “So how does that intertwine with breaking up with me?”
“My colony—that’s what we call our grouping of eagle shifters—has been around these parts for ages. In fact, we founded this town. That’s why it’s named Eagle Creek. Our numbers over the years have decreased drastically, from deaths or shifters moving away. And we’ve had no new members join, because eagle shifters are rare.
“Our colony is run by a committee that’s headed by a chancellor, who just happened to be my grandfather. He’s a strong-willed, powerful bastard, so the committee was more for show and tradition, than used to keep everything democratic, like it’s supposed to. My grandfather wanted me to mate another eagle shif
ter in town. He wanted to keep the bloodline pure.”
A scowl formed on Piper’s face. “Mate another eagle shifter? Who even talks like that? Who was it?”
Not yet ready to explain about mates, he said, “Danica Martin.”
“Danica? That snooty, stuck up bitch? Who in their right mind would want to be with her? I mean, I guess she’s hot and all,” she said grudgingly, “but she has the personality of a rattlesnake.”
“Accurate description,” he said with a laugh that cut off as she glared at him. “The rattlesnake part. Not the part about her being hot. Cause she’s not, at all.”
“Liar,” Piper replied with a roll of her eyes. Frowning, she said, “So you broke up with me just because your grandfather ordered you to?”
“Of course not. I told him absolutely not. We argued about it for days, but then he changed tactics, and it changed everything,” Jax said, exhaling. “He threatened you. Told me he would send some of the eagle enforcers after you. I told him the committee would never allow that, but like I said, he had the committee in his pocket. What he said was law. And if he said you were a threat to us, to our way of life, they wouldn’t hesitate to back him up.”
Mouth open, Piper stared at him for a moment before speaking. “So you broke up with me to what? Protect me?”
“I couldn’t risk you, Piper,” he said earnestly. “I loved you more than I ever loved anything else. I couldn’t take the chance that you could get hurt, or even killed, because of what I am. Because of me.”
“So what’s changed now?” she asked suspiciously.
“I’m not the same scared twenty-year-old kid I was back then. I can protect you now, from anything. I’m a fighter, and I’m damned good at it. Besides, a lot of the eagles have left town since then.”
Pursing her lips, she nodded slowly before standing up. “I’m heading to bed. It’s late.”
Confusion filled him as she turned to leave the attic. “Piper, wait! Doesn’t this change anything for you?”
Slowing to a stop, she turned and smiled sadly at him. “You know, it doesn’t really. I’m really glad I know the why of it now. And I get that you were trying to protect me. But things didn’t have to happen like they did. We had other options. We could have left Eagle Creek, could have run, at the very least. I would have followed you anywhere, Jax. But you chose to break up with me, giving your grandfather exactly what he wanted. Now I’m going to go to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Watching as she left the attic, Jax fell back onto the bed with a groan. That hadn’t gone like he hoped it would. Maybe he was naïve, but there was a part of him that thought if he explained everything to her, she would just fall back into his arms.
Rubbing his hands over his face as his eagle threw a fit inside him, he decided he would just up his game some more. He wasn’t giving up. Besides, tonight she called him Jax instead of St. James. That was progress, and he was going to take it as a good sign.
Standing up to shut off the lights, his eyes fell on the notebook with Piper’s song in it. She’d asked him earlier if he had a fight song, and he told her no. But now he had one. That song had touched her, slipped past the guards she had up against him, and reached her on a level he hadn’t been able to get to yet. And he’d use it to win her back, if he had to. It was his new fight song, perfect for the war he was waging on Piper’s heart.
Jax walked slowly toward the clearing where Piper was waiting for him. He was late, and he knew Piper would be upset and worried, but he couldn’t make himself walk any faster. Fury with his grandfather mixed with dread, coiling together in his gut and making him nauseous, as a sheen of sweat covered his skin.
Walking into the small meadow, he watched as Piper noticed him, a beautiful smile lighting her face. Running over to him, she threw her arms around his neck, and he wrapped her up, squeezing tightly, everything easing at the feel of her in his arms, and knowing it was the last time he’d ever feel it.
Pulling back, she smacked him on the chest. “Where have you been? It’s not like you to be late, and I was getting worried.” Pausing, she studied his face, frowning. “Are you okay, Jax? You look sick.”
Shaking his head slightly, he took her hands in his. “Piper, we need to talk. I…”
“You what, Jax? Spit it out. You’re freaking me out.”
Dropping her hands, he turned away and propped his hands on his hips, fighting for breath. He had to do this. Do it quick. Like ripping off a band-aid. And do it in a way that ensured she didn’t fight him or argue him on it.
Don’t do this, his eagle pleaded. I can’t live without her. We can’t live without her. There has to be another way.
Only there wasn’t. He’d gone round and round, trying to come up with an acceptable alternative, but there wasn’t one. His grandfather meant every word of his threat, and Jax knew he wouldn’t hesitate to go after Piper if he didn’t break things off.
And running wasn’t an option, either. He couldn’t ask her to give up college, to follow him to God-knew-where, to give up her life for him. Not when he had no way to support her. He wanted to make a career out of his shifter gift, do something with his music. But what kind of life would that be for her until he made it? He could get a regular job of course, but he had no other skills. Anything he found would be entry level, and it wouldn’t be enough to support her like she deserved.
Hardening his heart, he steeled himself and turned around. “I think we should see other people, Piper.”
“W—what?” she stuttered. “You can’t be serious. If this is a joke, it’s the crappiest excuse for one ever, Jax.”
“It’s not a joke,” he replied with a shake of his head, staring at her middle. He didn’t want to see her face right now. He might change his mind if he did. “I think we need to break up.”
“Where is this coming from, Jax?” she asked, voice shaky and full of tears. “And look me in the eyes when you tear my heart from my chest, you fucking coward.”
Bracing himself and wiping all the emotion from his face, he looked up, staring into her tear filled violet eyes. “I’m sorry if you thought what we had between us was real and lasting. But this was always the plan. We were never more than a high school couple. And since you graduate in a couple weeks, the time has come to move on.”
“Jax, come on,” she said, voice soft and pleading. “We’re more than that. We’re for life. You know what’s between us is more than some lesser kind of puppy love. We’re meant for more.”
“Our story ends here, Piper. Do you not get it?” he asked harshly. “I don’t want to be with you. I’m ready to move on. There’s a girl I’ve had my eye on, and I can’t go after her while you’re still clinging to me. Stop humiliating yourself, and do yourself a favor. Let me go before you look like a fool, trying to hold onto something that isn’t there.”
She gasped, and he hardened his heart, keeping a tight rein on his emotions and his eagle as tears slipped from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.
“Fuck you, asshole,” she spat. “I can’t believe you had me so thoroughly fooled. I didn’t just love you. I thought we were best friends. You hid the real Jax well. Whoever the lucky girl is is welcome to you. I wouldn’t take you back if you fell to your knees right now and begged. But you’re going to regret this one day. You’ll never find anyone who loves or wants you more than I do.”
Spinning on her heel, Piper took off down the trail, disappearing from sight. Clutching his chest where it felt like his heart had been ripped from his body, Jax fell to his knees, struggling to keep his human form. If he shifted now, his eagle would chase Piper down, and things had to remain as they were now. She wasn’t safe otherwise.
While there would never be anyone else for him, Piper at least had the chance to move on. She’d heal from this, meet someone new, have a family someday. The thought made him feel violent, but he took comfort from it, just the same. This wouldn’t be the end for her, like it was for him. He knew she was his mate since he was eleve
n. And there was no going back from that.
His grandfather had gotten one of his demands, separating Jax and Piper. But that’s all he’d get. Jax wasn’t going to pursue Danica, and his grandfather had no leverage now to get his way. But Jax knew one thing for certain. He’d never allow himself to be weak enough to be put in this position again. He’d do whatever he had to do to get to a place where he could protect what was his against anything that came his way.
Never. Again.
Still on his knees, he stared in the direction his mate had run. “I love you, Piper. Always.”
Jax crept down the stairs at dawn, pausing at the guest room where Piper slept. He wished he could go in and curl up with her, but he had something he had to do. Besides, she wouldn’t welcome his presence in her room, he knew that for sure.
Reluctantly heading down the next set of stairs, he jogged to his truck, getting in and heading toward town. It took no time at all before he was pulling up to the stately old home that had been in his family for generations. The last time he was there was when he came to deliver the news to his grandfather that he and Piper were no longer together, but he still had no intention of pursuing Danica.
Smiling as he remembered the veins that popped out on his grandfather’s forehead at his announcement, Jax got out and strode to the house. Banging on the door, he stepped back and shoved his hands in his pockets. Harlan had always been an early riser, but Jax didn’t give two shits whether he woke him up or not. Actually, he kind of hoped he did.
The door swung open and there his grandfather stood. He looked like he’d aged twenty years since Jax saw him last, his skin wrinkled and his shoulders stooped. They stood there staring at each other before his grandfather spoke.
“Ah, the great disappointment. To what do I owe this dubious pleasure?”
Narrowing his eyes, Jax said, “I just came to tell you that your little intimidation tactics won’t work. You’re not going to run Piper out of town. And I’m not defenseless or weak anymore. I will seriously hurt anyone who tries to threaten her. And if she gets hurt, I won’t hold back when I go after the person responsible, including you.”
Fight Song: A Paranormal Shifter Romance (Rocky River Fighters Book 3) Page 10
