“Should we talk about us . . . ?” I asked, feeling nervous that I’d ruined the chance we had after breaking up with him all those weeks ago. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he didn’t want to take me back with arms wide open. “I mean . . . is there an us still?”
Oliver walked over to me and wrapped me in his arms. “There will always be an us, Emery.”
“You have no clue how much good you’ve done for me,” I said as he held me.
“I’ll do anything for you. From this point on, I’m always here.”
I smiled and kissed his lips gently. “It’s been a wild ride with you these past few months, but I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“I love you.”
“I love you,” I echoed.
His mouth danced against my earlobe as he whispered into me, “Can I show you? Can I show you how much I love you?”
He led me to his bedroom, and it didn’t take him long to lay me against his mattress and pin me down, hovering over my body. His eyes glassed over, and he repeated his words. “I love you, Emery,” he said again, and I knew I’d never tire of hearing those words fall from his mouth.
My lips pressed against his, and I muttered into him, “I love you too.”
He took one hand and traveled it down to the hem of my dress and pulled it up slightly.
First, he slipped one finger inside me, sliding it in slowly; then he added another, spreading me wide. The speed picked up as my hips began rocking against his hand. Then, another finger, and I moaned out from the feeling, turning my head toward the pillow, not wanting to make too much noise as he finger fucked me hard and deep.
The deeper he went, the harder I moaned, until I released against his hand. He pulled his hand from my panties and licked his fingers before pressing his mouth against mine.
“Make love to me,” I whispered, wanting to feel his hardness inside me, wanting every piece of his love to rock my world. He didn’t deny my request. As he slid into me that night, as he made love to every inch of my body, I felt our hearts healing together. As he made love to me, I felt the promise of tomorrow he was giving me that night. As he lost himself inside me, I knew I’d found my home. I knew I was going to be his forever.
And he’d be mine.
40
EMERY
Going into the conversation with my parents, I had one thing on my mind and one thing only—breaking generational curses.
“You’re joking, right?” Mama snapped in the same diner where she’d told me she was going to try to take my daughter from me. Only this time, Sammie sat beside me, holding my hand under the table, so we could squeeze each other’s hands whenever we needed a push of comfort. “You cannot think you can keep her. You are not the right fit to have that child.”
“I have been for five years, and I plan to be for the rest of my life,” I said, disagreeing.
“Samantha, tell your sister that she is wrong. You already spoke to us about this situation, and we agreed that what was best for your daughter is—”
“She’s not my daughter,” Sammie said, sure as day.
Mama’s mouth dropped open. “You are wrong. We had a plan. Your father and I were going to raise that little girl and give her a real shot at life, at a family.”
“She has a family,” I said. “I’m her family.”
“You’re a single mother; you could never be enough for that girl. You’ve never been enough. You run around with drug-addict musicians who sleep around with any- and everything. You think he’s going to look after you? Good luck. He’s going to throw you to the side like you’re nothing,” Mama huffed. Her words stung me, but only a little.
Because I knew no truths lived within them. “You have no clue who Oliver is, and you have no clue who I am. You don’t know who Samantha is, either, I’m sure.”
“Oh, shut your mouth, Emery Rose. I know who my daughter is.”
“What’s my favorite song, Mama?” Sammie asked quietly.
“Excuse me?”
“What’s my favorite song? What song did I listen to over and over again growing up? Who’s my favorite musician? What’s my favorite color? What did I want to be when I grew up? How do I like my eggs?”
“Samantha, I don’t see how this has anything to do with anything. Those are stupid facts that don’t matter at all,” Mama snapped. “Now, tell Emery that we are going to move forward with the custody case.”
“‘Heart Stamps,’ by Alex & Oliver—who are her favorite musicians. Her favorite color is teal during the summer and yellow in the winter, because she believes the dark days need some bright color. She wants to be a therapist to help people, and she likes her eggs scrambled with two slices of American cheese,” I said, because I knew my sister.
Sammie squeezed my hand.
I squeezed hers back.
“This is ridiculous!” Dad finally snapped, speaking up for the first time since we’d arrived at the restaurant. “I cannot believe I even wasted a second of my time going through this bullshit, anyway, Harper. This is all your fault to begin with.”
“No, I—”
“I should’ve never even given you another chance after you got knocked up by that asshole all those years ago. You should’ve gone ahead and aborted her anyway,” he said, gesturing toward me. “Instead I’ve been forced to deal with your mistakes.”
Wait, what?
Mama’s eyes teared up as she looked at her husband, stunned. “Theo. You promised you would never bring this up.”
“Well, obviously it needs to be stated. I’ve dealt with too much of your bullshit over these years. And now I’ve watched the same thing unfold with my daughter because of your flaws. Same mistakes, same story. And now, I bet the same shit happens to that little girl because this family is cursed.”
“What is he talking about?” Sammie asked.
“I’m talking about this family’s sins! The same thing that happened to you happened to your mother, which is why I’m so sick of watching this story unfold the same way. Yet somehow I ended up raising her bastard child.”
“Mama . . . ,” I started, but my words faded. What was he saying? I wasn’t his? My father wasn’t my father? How?
Mama wiped the tears from her cheeks as she tried to keep her composure. “I was young and went to a party. I made mistakes, and a boy took advantage of those mistakes. My father found out and kicked me out.”
Déjà vu.
We were living in a loop.
Everything Mama had gone through, she’d put Sammie through too. And if the generational curse stayed in place, if we didn’t change our future by speaking and healing from our past, we’d keep that loop going.
Everything was beginning to make sense. It made sense why my father never seemed to love me the way he loved Sammie. It made sense why they were so hard on us, so overly protective. Because they didn’t want what happened to them to happen to us.
Yet still, life happened. And there they were again, trying to control the outcome by taking Reese in as their own, so they’d have another shot at molding her into something they thought was right.
“We failed with you both, but we can do better with Reese. I knew it the moment I lay eyes on her,” Mama said, falling apart in the diner. “I can be better with her. I know how to fix her.”
“She’s not broken,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief. “She’s not yours to fix.”
“You have no clue what you’re doing,” Dad told me with coldness in his stare. “You don’t know how to be a parent.”
“Sure I do. I’ll just do the complete opposite of everything you’ve ever done to me.” I turned to my sister, feeling sick to my stomach as the revelations unfolded before me. “Are you ready to go?”
She nodded.
Mama huffed. “Really, Samantha? You’re going to choose her over your own parents?”
“She is my family, Mama. She’s the best family I’ve ever had,” Sammie confessed, squeezing my hand. We headed out of the restaurant and went back to m
y apartment. The whole ride over, Sammie kept holding my hand, and I was thankful for that. I needed the comfort.
I think she needed it too.
“Are you okay?” she asked me as we stood in the hallway in front of my door.
“Not now. But I will be. Everything makes a bit more sense now, that’s for sure. I always thought I wasn’t enough for them both, but truthfully, they were dealing with their own demons. It had nothing to do with me.” I smiled at her. “Or you. Parents can be broken, too, it turns out.”
I looked down toward Abigail’s apartment and nodded once. “Do you want to meet her? Reese? I’m going to be honest: I don’t know how we move forward with this. I don’t know where we go from this point with her.”
Sammie placed her hands over her heart and nodded. “I’d love to meet her, but only if you’re comfortable with it.”
I nodded and headed over to grab Reese. The moment we walked back to my apartment, I could see the nerves shooting through Sammie. They were running through me too.
“Mama, who is that?” Reese asked with narrowed eyes.
“That’s my sister, Reese. Her name is Sammie.”
Reese’s mouth dropped open. “You have a sister?”
“Yes, I do. And she’s a very strong person.”
Reese smiled at Sammie, who began to cry. Reese frowned at the sight, walked over to Sammie, and hugged her. “Don’t be sad. It’s okay,” she said, giving her comfort.
“Thank you, Reese,” Sammie said, bending down to meet her eye to eye. “Oh my gosh, you’re beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful too. You look like Mama. So, if you’re her sister, does that make you my aunt?”
Sammie looked up to me, and then back to Reese. “I think that does make me your aunt.”
“Oh great!” Reese’s eyes lit up once more, and she hugged Sammie again. “I always wanted an aunt.”
41
EMERY
“When is Mr. Mith going to get back?” Reese groaned as I picked her up from school. Summer had come and gone, and Oliver was back to work with his band, traveling around the US doing interviews for their newest song release. It turned out Alex & Oliver may have come to an end, but Oliver Smith was finding himself day in and day out. Watching him find his footing in a new world without his brother was inspirational and, truthfully, empowering.
I’d missed him a lot during his travels, but our FaceTime calls were enough for me.
Reese, on the other hand? She was missing her best friend.
“He’ll be back next weekend, sweetheart, don’t worry. You’ll be annoying one another again in no time.”
“Good,” she said as we parked the car and headed upstairs to our apartment. Her eyes widened more when we reached our floor and she saw Oliver standing outside my apartment, holding a houseplant in his hand. “Mr. Mith!” she screeched, running in his direction with her backpack on.
I pretty much ran, too, the moment I saw him. “What are you doing here?” I asked, leaning in to kiss him.
“Took an early flight home. Figured I’d stop by to see my girls. Plus, I wanted to get you another houseplant to add to your collection.” I laughed a little but grew silent as I looked down at the plant. Staring back at me was a huge diamond ring.
“Oliver,” I muttered, stunned by what I was seeing.
He got down on one knee in front of me and held the ring in his hand. “I love so many pieces of you, Emery Taylor. I love the quiet parts, and the loud ones too. I love how you give your all to everyone around you, and also save some love for yourself. I love your cooking, and I love your laugh. I love the way you love your daughter. I love her too. I love your daughter. And if you’ll allow it, I’d love to spend the rest of my life being able to shower that love on you both from this point on. Marry me, Emery. Marry me, and I’ll keep you forever,” he swore.
I was stunned, unable to say anything. All I could stare at was the ring, and then I turned around to look at my daughter, who had a devilish smirk on her face as she held up a sign in her hand from her now-opened backpack.
SAY YES, MAMA!
She was in on this, too, the sneak.
I turned back to Oliver and said the word that mattered the most in that very moment. “Yes.” He stood to his feet and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in close. His lips crashed against mine, and as he slid the ring onto my finger, we both laughed nervously with one another.
Once he’d finished proposing to me, Oliver turned to Reese and got down on one knee in front of her. “I wanted to propose to you, too, kid. Now, I don’t have a ring, but I have this.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a half of a heart necklace. Alex’s heart. “This was my brother’s, and it means the world to me, so I wanted to give it to the little girl who means the world to me too. I wanted you to know that you have half of my heartbeats, and I’d spend forever protecting you if you’ll have me.”
Reese was cheesing so hard, I was almost certain her cheeks were going to pop. “Yes, Mr. Mith! Yes!” she shouted, jumping up and down. He placed the jewelry around her neck and then gave her a tight hug. “Does this mean I can call you ‘Dad’ now?” Reese asked nervously.
“Yes, Reese. If you want to, you can call me ‘Dad.’”
She hugged him tighter. “I love you, Dad,” she cried, breaking and healing my heart all at once.
In that moment, I knew the truth about family. There wasn’t one cookie-cutter way to create love bonds. Families came in all shapes, forms, and sizes. Some were tied together by blood, and others by heartbeats. At the end of the day, it didn’t matter how you came together; it only mattered that you stayed together. That you looked out for one another and loved in an unconditional way.
There were no limitations on my love for Reese and Oliver.
Which was exactly why it was going to last forever. Before, they stamped my heartbeats, and those stamps would last forever.
EPILOGUE
EMERY
One Year Later
“It’s too tight,” I breathed out as Sammie finished lacing up my dress.
“I told you not to eat those extra cheese fries last night,” she joked as she finished. “Anyway, it’s not too tight—it’s a perfect fit.”
Sammie had come back to California a few weeks before to help me prepare for the wedding between Oliver and me. She’d been in Texas for the past few months getting her life together—with the help of Oliver’s parents, who looked after her. Even though I was trying my best to get her to move back to California, she seemed to be finding her footing down in Austin. I couldn’t have been happier for her. She looked healthier, too: not only physically, but mentally. Emotionally. I knew my sister still had so many things to work through, so many demons to still slay, but she was doing it day in and day out.
And I couldn’t have been happier to have her by my side during the happiest day of my life. I often used to dream about my wedding day, and it was always my sister who was standing by my side in those visions. I was so happy they’d come to fruition.
“Hey, Emery, wow,” Tyler said, coming into the dressing room. “You look amazing. I was supposed to come here and tell you that the photographer needs Reese and Sammie for solo pictures. They just finished up doing mine and Kelly’s. They are right down the hallway to the left,” he said.
Sammie thanked Tyler as she walked away with Reese’s hand in hers.
Tyler turned to me and gave me a tight smile. “You look amazing, Emery, truly. My best friend is a lucky bastard.”
“Thank you. Now, if only I could get my nerves in check,” I joked.
“Nothing to be nervous about. I’ve never seen two people who were more meant to be. Listen, I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you . . . for loving him. You gave him a shot when the rest of the world had counted him out. You’re a phenomenal woman, and he’s so damn lucky to have you.”
“He’s not wrong,” a voice said, interrupting us both. I turned around to see Oliver’s father, Ri
chard, standing there. “Not to jump in uninvited, but do you think I can have a moment with Emery quickly?”
Tyler nodded and headed out of the space.
Richard stood back for a minute with his hands stuffed in his pants pockets. “Wow,” he muttered. “Completely breathtaking.”
“Don’t make me cry too soon, Richard. My makeup artist is MIA.”
“Sorry, I just . . . my son is very lucky. I won’t take up too much of your time. I’m going to be honest: I don’t know much about wedding traditions. Michelle and I ran off to Vegas for a shotgun wedding, and to this day my parents are still pissed about it. But I heard this thing about something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. I only got one of those pieces, but I figured I’d offer something borrowed to you, if you’d like.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a watch.
“This was Alex’s favorite piece. He, um, always had a watch, no matter where he went. He hated that his brother was always late, so to make up for it, Alex was always right on time. And I think that’s fitting for you, because you were right on time for Oliver with your love. Now, I know this might not go perfectly with your outfit, but—”
“Please,” I said, cutting him off as I held my arm out toward him. He smiled and nodded as he began putting the watch on my arm. I stared down at the beautiful piece that held the history of a beautiful man. “I wish I could’ve met him.”
“He would’ve loved you. Just like the rest of us.” The way the Smiths had welcomed me into their world seemed so unreal. I didn’t feel worthy of their love sometimes, but they always gave it to me and my daughter without thought.
Richard stood in front of me as if he had something else to say but wasn’t sure how to get it out.
“Is there something else?” I asked.
“Yes, I mean . . . you’re allowed to say no, because you’re your own person. But I realized you have no one walking you down the aisle, and I wanted to say that if you needed a father figure to hold your hand, I’d gladly offer mine.”
The Mixtape Page 29
