by Susan Ward
It was a man’s world, he would live as he wanted. She would be left with home, hearth, and their child. His secrets were her secrets. His truth, no matter how ugly, covered her as well. There was no road, in no direction he couldn’t take. As his wife she had but one road, prisoner on land, loyalty to husband, rooted in home, confined by the expectations of society and her duty to her children.
Merry shuddered, looking back out the window as the bile rose in her throat reminding her of Varian’s child nestled in her womb.
Her stomach churned with cruel force.
“Merry?” Camden asked anxiously, closing his fingers over her icy hand. Her face had lost all color. “Merry, speak to me. What is wrong?”
“Stop the carriage, Camden. Stop it now.”
Camden crashed his cane into the ceiling, shouting for the driver to stop as Merry stumbled past Varian and burst through the door. Varian came up behind her, supporting her shuddering body as she knelt in the dirt, convulsion after convulsion spewing from her stomach. He handed her his handkerchief when the sickness passed and then cradled her in his arms while she tried to steady herself.
“Come, Little One. We should get back to the carriage and you home to your parents as quickly as possible,” Varian murmured, his voice gentle. “I know this pace is hard on you in your delicate state, but delaying will only make it more difficult later on.”
Desperately afraid she would make more of a fool of herself than she had, she whispered. “Leave me alone, Varian. Just leave me be by myself for a moment.”
Varian tightened the support of his arms and placed a kiss on her brow. “You’re trembling, Merry. Tell me what is wrong.”
She pulled free of his arms. “Please, let me stand here alone for awhile,” she whispered softly, closing her eyes. “I will be along soon.”
She could feel his eyes on her.
His voice came low. “Merry, why are you trembling? Is it your father? Of facing Lucien with this? You need have no fear of returning home. It will be well. Your family will welcome you home, regardless of our marriage and your disappearance. Trust me in this, Little One. What are you frightened of?”
Merry turned away from him, burying her face in icy hands. I am afraid of myself. Of how deeply I hurt. Afraid as I have never been. Afraid of life with you. Afraid of life without you. Because I cannot remember me before you. Varian, I am afraid because I love you.
PREVIEWS
Continue the story with the rest of the Deverell Series:
Love’s Patient Fury: Book 3 of the Deverell Series Release date 12/1/2014
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Please enjoy this excerpt from Book 3 of the Deverell Series, Love’s Patient Fury:
She dealt. Merry was in that pose again, on elbows and knees, like a cat ready to spring. This time Varian allowed himself to enjoy it. They played without conversation; she threw her cards down in fury and won the first game. They played two more in silence and she won both of them.
Picking up the cards, her blue eyes fixed on his face with rapidly forming suspicion. “Why do I always win now?” Merry asked with measured slowness.
Varian’s eyes were black and innocent. Thoughtfully, he replied, “You won before as I recall.”
Frowning. “Only the last game. You won nine games to my one.” Merry was working herself into a glorious temper. Varian knew she would figure out about the cards if he played with her and be furious. Mimicking his voice to perfection, she hissed, “‘You are quick, you are clever, but, Little One, you are not wise.’” Fairly shouting, Merry accused fiercely, “Damn you, how did you cheat, and don’t bother to tell me that you didn’t.”
Varian reached out then and brushed a knuckled down the cheek of her angry face. He wanted to touch her. So he did. It would only aggravate her further.
Calmly, Merry hated it when he was calm, he said “You’re behaving childishly.”
Merry slapped his hand away. Again his voice: “‘Oh, Little One, in the spirit of good will, you may ask me anything.’ I could ask you anything because you would only let me win once. How did you do it? Why did you cheat me at cards?”
Varian said nothing, but as Merry rapidly studied his face his voice came to her in memory: Little one, have you really shared my life for nearly a year and not realized that everything I do has purpose.
“The questions. They weren’t meaningless at all.” Varian’s expression was lightly interested, as though she were trying to work a riddle. Merry stared at him, searching through her memories of that rainy afternoon. There were nine questions. He had won nine games. He had cheated to win. What were they? She rallied them off, slowly, one by one, and together they formed perfect logic.
Merry sat up then, trembling with fury and screaming in a voice surely heard all through the house, “You calculating son of the devil. You asked me questions that would tell you how to make me desire you. You got me into your bed with what you learned cheating me at cards. You keep me in your bed with what you learned cheating me at cards.”
Varian was relaxed. He was amused. He was deliberately not contrite. He spread the cards in front of him, backs up and lifted his eyes to meet her. “This, Little One, is not my deck. You are quick, you are clever, you are...” he let the pause artfully develop and cut it off just right, “more wise. You watched my hands. You should have watched my eyes, Merry. Yes, the questions were to learn how to get you to desire me. You were a woman a man could not seduce without all-out battle. It was better for us both if I left the seducing to you, the same way now I leave it to you and your whim to come to my bed when you wish to.”
Or enjoy one of my current contemporary romance releases:
The Girl on the Half Shell
The Signature
Rewind
One Last Kiss
EXCERPTS
Please enjoy the following excerpt from The Girl on the Half Shell:
The room is so quiet it is deafening.
I find Alan on his bed, casually reclined against a stack of pillows, dressed only in flannel pajama bottoms, and reading—of all things—the Wall Street Journal. There is a fire lit, the silver candlesticks flicker with flame, the bedcovers invitingly turned down as if in preparation for some sort of romantic scene. But he is focused on the Journal.
He doesn’t look at me and I feel stupid hovering by his door, so I start to wander around the bedroom, trying to still my frantic pulse. It’s a good thing that it’s an interesting room, otherwise my deliberate study would seem silly.
Even Alan’s bedroom is something I find weird and demands a certain amount of mental analysis. It looks like something from a nineteenth century English manor, elegant to the point of being almost a touch prissy. There’s an antique mahogany king-sized bed facing the fireplace; floral wingback chairs with pillows positioned before the hearth; and high-tech conveniences camouflaged in antique furniture. There’s a Monet on the wall; tall, polished sterling silver candlesticks; crystal; and fine, leather-bound, first edition books of classic literature. I sink down before a small, mahogany table where I find a stack of newspaper: Barons; the New York Times; the Washington Post; and the Daily Telegraph.
The warmth of the fire surrounds me like a caress, but I am quaking like a leaf. I wasn’t sure what Alan expected after he walked out of the kitchen. It would have been logical to assume that I would leave. But he knew I’d follow him. I don’t know why he’s ignoring me now. I look at the lit candlesticks—he wanted me to follow him.
I bite my lower lip and stare at my knotted fingers. I stayed alone in the kitchen for what seemed like ages, and now that I’ve done exactly what he expected me to do, nothing.
I struggle for something to say to break the silence. “You do have seven bedrooms. I counted them twice. But there are seven on
ly if I include yours.”
He folds the Journal, tosses it on the table and fixes those penetrating, mesmerizing eyes on me. “Is this the room you want?” he asks, his voice gentle. “I meant it when I said you could have any room. It doesn’t have to be my room for you to stay.”
Does he not want me in his room? A ragged breath forces its way from deep in my lungs. “Do you want me to go?” I murmur.
“Of course not. I want you here.” His voice is husky and his eyes are wandering in a leisurely hold that is tender and oddly comforting.
Thank you for reading. You might enjoy a sneak peek into Chrissie and Alan’s future, with Rewind A Perfect Forever Novella. Available now on Amazon:
He doesn’t laugh. Instead, his gaze sharpens on my face. “I am being nice, Kaley. I came to you. I got tired of waiting.”
What? Did I just hear what I think I heard?
Before I can respond, he says, “How’s your afternoon looking? Do you have time to take off and come see something with me?”
My afternoon? There is something. I’m sure of that, but I suddenly can’t remember a single thing.
“What do you have in mind?”
“I want to show you where I’ve been living. What’s I’ve been doing? I think you’ll find it interesting.”
Interesting? Why would I find it interesting?
“So, do you think you can cut out for a few hours?” he asks, watching me expectantly.
I focus my gaze on the table, wondering if I should go, wondering why I debate this, and what the heck I have on calendar that I can’t remember. God this is weird, familiar and distant at once, and I haven’t a clue what I should do here.
I stare at his hand, so close to mine, on the table. Whoever thought it would be so uncomfortable not to touch a guy? It doesn’t feel natural this space we hold between us, spiced with the kind of talk people have who know each other intimately. What would he do if I touched him…?
His fingers cover mine and he gives me a friendly squeeze. The feel of him runs through my body with remember sweetness.
Suddenly, nothing in my life is as important as spending the afternoon with Bobby and for the first time, in a very long time, I don’t feel like a disjointed collection of uncomfortably fitting parts. I feel at ease inside me being with Bobby.
I stop trying to access my mental calendar. I smile up at Bobby. “I’ve got as much time as you need.”
Bobby chuckles and his hand slips back from me. He rises and tosses some bills on the table. “Just a few hours, Kaley. I’ll have you back before the end of the day.”
I rise from my chair and think not if I figure out fast how not to blow this.
Or enjoy the first novel in the Perfect Forever Novels: The Signature. Available Now. Please enjoy the following excerpt from The Signature:
She became aware all at once how utterly delightful it felt to be here with him, alone on the quay, with the erotic nearness of his body.
She closed her eyes. “Listen to the quiet. There are times when I lie here and it feels like there is no one else in the world.”
“No one else in the world? Would that be a good thing?” he asked thoughtfully.
“No. But the illusion is grand, don’t you think?” she whispered.
Krystal turned her head to the side, lifting her lids to find Devon’s gaze sparkling as he studied her. He shook his head lazily. “No. The illusion wouldn’t be grand at all. It would mean I wasn’t here with you.”
It all changed at once, yet again, and so quickly that Krystal couldn’t stop it. The ticklish feeling stirred in her limbs. Devon’s words, as well as the closeness of their bodies, should have sent her into active retreat, and instead she felt herself wanting to curl into him. What would it feel like if kissed me? Would I still feel this delicious inside? Or would that old panic and fear return?
Laughing softly, Devon said, “I’m not used to relaxing. Can you tell?”
“I wasn’t used to it before Coos Bay, either. There is a different pace of life here. At first I thought there was no sound. That’s how quiet it seemed to me. Then I realized that there is music, beautiful music in this quiet.”
After a long pause, he murmured, “You’ll have to bring me here every Saturday until I learn to hear music in the quiet.”
Krystal smiled. “Once you hear the music it’s perfect.”
“It’s perfect now to me.” His voice was a husky, sensual whisper.
He was on his side facing her. When had that happened? An inadvertent thrill ran through her flesh, and she could see it in his eyes—the supplication, the want, and an unexplainable reluctance to indulge either.
Devon was no longer smiling, his eyes had become brighter and more diffuse. His fingertips started to trace her face with such exquisite lightness that her insides shook. For the first time, in a very long time, she felt completely a woman and wanting.
Was it possible? Had she finally healed internally as her flesh had done so long ago? Was she finally past the legacy of Nick? Was what she was now feeling real? Should she seek the answer with Devon? Or was it better to leave it unexplored?
“You are a very beautiful woman,” he whispered.
She watched with sleepy movements as his mouth lowered to her. It came first as a touch on her cheek, feather soft between the play of his fingers. Her breath caught, followed by a pleasant quickening of her pulse. She was unprepared for the sweetness of his lips and the rushing sensations that ran her body. His thumb traced the lines of her mouth, as his kiss moved sweetly, gently there.
His breath became rapid in a way that matched her own, and his mouth grew fuller and more searching. The fingertips curving her chin were like a gentle embrace, but their mouths were eager and demanding. Flashes of desire rocketed through her powerfully. Urgency sang through her flesh, a forgotten melody, now in vibrant notes. She found herself wanting to twist into him. Reality begged her to twist back.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Susan Ward is a native of Santa Barbara, California, where she currently lives in a house on the side of a mountain, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. She doesn’t believe she makes sense anywhere except near the sea. She attended the University of California Santa Barbara and earned a degree in Business Administration from California State University Sacramento. She works as a Government Relations Consultant, focusing on issues of air quality and global warming. The mother of grown daughters, she lives a quiet life with her husband and her dog Emma. She can be found most often walking at Hendry’s Beach, where she writes most of her storylines in her head while watching Emma play in the surf.
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Continue the series with Love’s Patient Fury Coming December 2014
Like me on Facebook: SusanWardBooks
Follow me on Twitter: @susaninlaguna
My current releases:
The Girl on the Half Shell
The Signature
Rewind
One Last Kiss
When the Perfect Comes Book 1 The Deverell Series
Table of Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
PREVIEW LOVE’S PATIENT FURY
EXCERPTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PREVIEWS
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