by Nicole Thorn
“This is your fault. You’re the one who pushed so hard when we first met. You started all of this.”
“I realize that. I wish I’d understood then the consequences so I could have stopped this.”
Doubtful. If we’d still gotten to know each other—even without his romantic notions—I would have fallen in love with him. I believed that with my whole heart. We were doomed from the very beginning.
“It wouldn’t have mattered, Hale. And if you don’t understand that then maybe you’re right after all.”
I caught sight of his face when I said that. It said that he believed me. Still, he wasn’t budging. Well, two can play stubborn.
“This is the final time I’ll say it, Rory. I won’t be with you in the way you want.”
“Fine then. Pretend you don’t want it too. Just realize that this means we can’t make out anymore. No touching at all. Normal friends don’t do that.” But we were never normal.
“I know,” he sighed and shut his eyes. “I’ll be able to stop.”
“Will you?” I asked doubtfully. “I don’t think we’ve gone more than a day or two without some kind of affection—leaving out when you left the first time. Unless you changed your mind about wanting to be with other girls—”
“I haven’t.”
“So you just plan on going the rest of your life never touching a girl ever again?”
He grimaced. “If I have to then I will.”
I laughed. “But you don’t have to. You’re doing it to yourself.”
The bell rang and the students bolted, some leaving their packets behind. Hale waited for me, ever the gentleman. As proven by his reluctance to do what I’m almost begging him too.
He walked me to lunch and I kept my comments to myself. The ones referring to how he’s pretty much already my boyfriend. We hold hands, fool around, sleep in the same bed. He was dumb for not recognizing it.
Dottie was missing in action again at lunch and I was more than relieved. I didn’t need to feel guilty about two things.
Hale put his milk in front of me like he did every single day. I picked it up. “Kind of a boyfriendish thing to do, don’t you think?”
“Not at all. I think a normal friend would do the same.”
“Do you let all of your normal friends sit on your lap too? No? Didn’t think so.” Drop metaphorical mic.
“That doesn’t mean—”
“Or how many do you kiss goodbye?”
“Still—”
“Give jewelry to?”
“Rory—”
“For God’s sake. We even go to bed together and don’t have sex. If that’s not something people in a committed relationship do then I’ll be dammed more than I already am. Face it, Hale. We’re dating. We were dating before I even figured out we were dating.”
He didn’t deny it but he didn’t agree either. He just went on with his lunch.
I hated being so pushy with him but I was finally in a place where I wanted him more than I didn’t want the pain of his loss. I wanted to enjoy him as much as I could while I still had him with me. He was wasting time we couldn’t get back.
If I kept pushing him he might decide he didn’t want to deal with it anymore. I let him be for the time being. I can go back to nagging him anytime.
We finished up lunch and went on with our day. It was as normal as can be. Us finding reasons to touch each other and be affectionate while pretending that if doesn’t mean anything. And Gym.
We played soccer. Or, more accurately, the rest of the students played soccer while Hale and I just walked around the field. We made plans to have dinner at my house and binge watch some show about werewolves on Netflix.
We got dressed after Gym and headed to the parking lot together.
“Maybe we should just start using your way to get to school. It would save on gas,” Hale said as we wandered through the emptying halls.
“That might work, but you’re human. Living humans aren’t supposed to be in Hell, even for a few seconds. It can kill you.”
“What?” he looked a little worried. “But I was there before. Are there after effects?”
“No,” I assured him. “When you’re there for more than a few seconds your mind and body start burning from the inside out. A few minutes and you’re insane. A few minutes more and you’re dead.”
“Ah. Then I’m glad I was only there for a few seconds.”
“That was by design. I got you out of there the only way I could. I’m sorry I put you in danger.” Again.
“I appreciate your concern but I wasn’t upset abou—” he stopped talking when his eyes landed on something outside. I looked around for what he was seeing. Past the cars leaving in a hurry, I saw two people near the wall a couple hundred feet away. When I realized who it was I pushed Hale back and out of sight so Dottie and her father couldn’t see us.
“What are you doing?” he asked before I covered his mouth with my hand.
“Shh. I’m trying to hear them.”
“How can you hear them from here?” he mumbled under my hand.
“I’m a demon, remember?”
I closed my eyes and tried to block out everything but their voices. It was difficult with the forest so close and the cars going, but I could make out a little.
“It needs to end,” Dottie snapped. “Now.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” her father growled back at her. “This is ridiculous how long this has gone on. You’re the one who doesn’t seem to understand that.”
“I understand more than you do.”
I thought I heard a sigh from Mr. Miller. “Have you been taking your pills? You’re acting—”
“If you say crazy I’m going to—”
The track team came stomping out of the school and it drowned out the barely audible conversation. They walked down the steps and out to their cars, not knowing what they just did.
Once they were gone, Hale stared at me. “What the Hell was that?”
“I wanted to hear them.”
“Clearly. Why?”
I peeked over the wall and they were gone. I huffed and turned back to Hale. “Don’t you think it was a little weird that she wasn’t at lunch but she’s here now?”
He shook his head and looked at me like I was crazy. “Maybe she had lunch with her father. Some people like their parents so I hear.”
“But—”
He put his hands on my shoulders. “Let it go. Lets just go back to your house and try not being insane.”
My eyebrows went up and I put my hands on my hips. He backed away, taking the warning. “I’m not insane. You’re the insane one that’s still in denial that we’re dating.”
“We’re not dating!” he started walking to his car. He stopped when he figured out I wasn’t following him. He walked back and stood right in front of me. “Come on.”
I crossed my arms.
“Stop messing around. We’ve got thirteen episodes of that show to watch tonight.”
I shrugged. “I’m good right here.”
“You get one chance, Rory. Or this becomes something else.” His eyes were playful and happy even though he was trying to keep a straight face.
“Bring it, redcoat,” I smiled. I loved a good challenge.
Without warning, he hauled me up and over his shoulder and started marching me to his truck.
“I’m in a dress, jerk.”
“I am hyperaware of that fact, Lamb.”
“Are you also hyperaware that you have my permission to take advantage of that fact? Boyfriend privileges.”
He sighed and put me down on the passenger’s side of the truck. “Too bad I’m not your boyfriend.”
I rolled my eyes, opened the car door, and got in. He followed suit and drove us home, almost pouting the whole way. We lightly bickered all the way to my room, ignoring my laughing sister on the couch. Hale sat on my bed while I ordered us something to eat. Once I was done I switched on the show we decided to watch.
The food got to us quickly and we ate in bed. It was not a good decision to eat during the show that was on. It had a tendency to get a little…gross with the violence and the sex stuff.
“I don’t understand why he had to eat his own eyes after they popped out of his head so he could turn into a werewolf,” Hale commented.
I shrugged and took a bite of my General Chicken. “Maybe the writers just wanted to see if they could get away with it.” Writers can be really sick sometimes.
“Well they did, and it’s quite upsetting. Werewolves aren’t real, right?”
“Not in this dimension.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” I shoved food in my mouth and stopped talking.
We were switching our food containers with each other between bites and trying not to rethink living as the show went on. More than a few times it made us wonder why we were watching. Then something amazing would happen and we’d remember.
I took a sip of soda and said, “I’m not sure if I love this show or if I’m disgusted with it.”
He took the glass and drank from it before setting it on the nightstand. “I think both are expectable and the only option.”
The show went on for hours and it was two a.m. before we knew it. We still had an episode to watch before it was over and we were both a little messed up from it. Hale had changed into his jammies during our break from the last episode we watched. He started keeping a few items of clothing here as of late, considering how often he stays over. I even bought him a toothbrush. It was like him leaving last night didn’t even happen. We were right where we were supposed to be.
He got into bed and snuggled up under the covers with me. Then I started the last episode. We watched it and I fought off sleepiness and nausea the whole time. Once it was over I was relieved and sad. I shut the TV off and Hale did the same with the lamp before he gave me a chaste kiss goodnight.
When we laid down and he said, “Did you set our alarm.”
“I did. Don’t forget that you’ve got to fill up on gas in the morning. And your check engine light came on.”
“Damn it. We can take the truck in this weekend after we have lunch with your mother.”
“Sounds good,” I yawned and pulled his arm around me as he was already moving it.
We were lying like spoons for about three minutes before Hale said out of nowhere, “Fuck.” I felt as he pressed his forehead against my shoulder blade.
“What’s wrong?” I said through my sleepiness. I turned my head back just enough to see him. His eyes were wide in the darkness and he looked like dawn just broke on his face.
Two words were all it took to change everything and nothing. Just two words and the realization behind them. A million things more were said when he uttered the words, “We’re dating.”
Chapter Twenty-Six: The World Is Ugly
I held back my happy dance. Half because we were in bed and half because Hale was still coming to terms with the realization. He hadn’t said a word since he figured it out.
He was still lying on his side but I’d turned around so we could face each other.
“Are you okay?” I asked, keeping the amusement out of my voice.
He breathed out through his nose. “I’m not sure. It would seem that I’ve been wrong about a lot of things. But I’m so sure that I wouldn’t be good for you.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I don’t want to destroy everything I love about you.”
“That won’t happen. I don’t care how long it takes, I’m going to make you realize that you’re a good person.”
“Only when I’m with you,” he kissed me tentatively. My hand went to the back of his head and I pulled him closer, trying to let him know that this was okay. When he relaxed, he separated my legs with one of his so he could lay his body on top of mine. I felt him smile against my mouth before his head dropped down to my neck.
I almost grumbled when he moved back. But his eyes went to the clock on my nightstand and he sighed. “We have a total of four and a half hours to sleep. I think we’ll need to resume this later.”
“Or,” I pulled at the drawstrings on his pants, “We can skip school tomorrow. The house would be empty…” I moved my body up to meet his and tried getting his attention off of the clock.
“Sorry, Lamb but I don’t think we should do that.”
“Why?” I tried not to sound whiny.
“Your eagerness is incredibly flattering and frankly, it’s making it quite difficult to say no to this, but I won’t budge. We’re not doing that until I’m sure you’re ready. It needs to be the right time.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m ready.”
He smiled and shook his head. “Not yet. There’s a difference in what your feeling and what someone should feel when doing that. I’ve never done it right. Please. This is going to be my last first time, can we do it right?”
I hadn’t considered that he wanted to wait because he wasn’t ready. I couldn’t push him if that was the case. It wasn’t right.
“Okay,” I said before I laid my lips flush against his.
“We’re already gonna be late. We might as well get breakfast,” I said as I was pulling my boots on. Not only did both of us sleep through my alarm, but once we did wake up we spent about a half hour saying good morning in the only way that I would ever accept from him again.
“I’m starting to think you don’t care about school,” he grinned at me from his spot at the wall.
“I’m immortal, school means nothing. In five hundred years I won’t need any of this stuff. My mom didn’t go to school and look how well she turned out,” I stood and grabbed my backpack.
“Five hundred,” he said to himself. “I’ll be long dead,” the words came out like he just now understood that.
“I don’t wanna talk about that, Hale,” I said, fighting though the sick feeling that just appeared in my stomach.
He rubbed his jaw. “Just…just an interesting thought.”
“It’s not. It’s horrible and I don’t know what the Hell I’m going to do with myself. My body will live for eternity but my soul had a ticking clock on it.”
He moved forward and put his hands on my arms. “We have a lot of time together.”
My eyes met his. “One lifetime in an endless one. A blink and this is all over.” I felt selfish for complaining about my lack of mortality. But it never felt like a blessing. If there were a way for me to become mortal, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
He pulled me into his chest. “We’ll live a long life together and when it’s over…you’ll be okay.”
“Why do you think that?”
I couldn’t see him since his hand was pressing my head to his chest. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see his face while he lied to me.
“Because you’re strong and you’re stubborn. You wouldn’t let anything destroy you, remember? You promised me that I wouldn’t ruin you. Don’t let me be right on this.”
I tilted my head up at him and he bent down to kiss me. It was the only thing that could give me a few moments of peace, so I let it go on for a while.
Then I figured, we were already late. So I pulled him from the wall and over to my bed. I forced him onto me but he took the reins from there. He hooked one of my legs around his waist and made use of the closeness we had. He started unbuttoning the front of my dress while his mouth touched every inch of skin he was revealing.
He eventually had the top of my dress pulled down to my hips—the same place the skirt was pushed up to. His fingernails bit into my hip under the fabric but I couldn’t notice the pain. It made me move my legs around him, urging him to move closer than actually possible.
He moved his mouth from my skin and sighed. “Don’t hate me, please.”
My head moved back and hit my pillow. “You need to stop?”
He answered by removing my legs from him and standing from the bed. I sat up and fixed my dress. “You totally owe me breakfast now.”
He grabbed my
hands and stood me up. “I agree.”
After we filled up the truck with gas Hale took me to a diner for breakfast. We split a Grand Slam and talked about what we wanted to do this weekend. He voted for more Netflix while I picked a more graphic option. He said no.
“I was only kidding,” I said.
He eyed me like he knew I was lying. Because he probably did. “Sure you were.”
“It’s not my fault that you make me want to do ‘adult things’ all the time. I blame you.”
“Not surprising.”
My mind kept going back to the day Hale and/or I was almost shot and the conversation that followed. Every quiet and happy moment was tainted with worry. But I couldn’t be sure that the person with the gun was even after us. But all signs pointed to it. Hale thought it was just us being in the wrong place at the wrong time but I didn’t buy it.
“Lots of people in California own guns,” he said. “It’s not unbelievable that someone was out looking for trouble and we got caught in the middle.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that someone is after us.”
He looked deep in thought. “I don’t know what to do about this and I don’t know how we’re supposed to find out who it is. I don’t like being helpless,” he stared down at his hands on the table. “I’m not very good at saving myself, let alone the people in my life.”
“You know that’s not true. And it’s not your job to protect me. I’m the one who’s the target and I’m the one more qualified to take this bastard on. I’m much harder to kill than you.”
He looked at me with sad eyes. “But it’s not impossible.”
“I’ll be fine. I promise. I’ll never leave you. I’ll be by your side for your entire life.” Until the day we both end.
By the time we made it to school it was halfway through History. We decided that it would be more fun to make out in the car than to walk in late. I rather enjoy Hale no longer holding back from me. Mostly…
We heard the bell ring from the truck and we had to break apart and go. Since we’d just eaten, we decided that we should just sit there and wait for our next class. I suggested we go home but he didn’t want to. His attendance record was poor at best.
