by Alden, Jami
It may not have been "I love you too," but it was something, and tonight it was apparently enough for Jake. Tilting Kit's chin up he said, "I'll never let you regret it." His eyes were so full of love and desire Kit felt a fresh onslaught of tears and cursed herself for being so damn girly.
They made their way to her bedroom, stopping often to kiss, leaving a trail of discarded clothing across her living room. Closing the door, Jake paused in front of the full-length mirror mounted to the back.
In the dim light cast by her bedside lamp their skin looked sleek and golden, and the sight of Jake's ropy arm wrapped around her front, his big hand splayed proprietarily across her stomach, sent a fresh wave of moisture between her legs.
"You're so gorgeous," he whispered, and she saw his lips tickle the side of her neck at the same instant she felt the waft of his breath. "The most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
Both arms slid around her now, pulling her back firmly against his front, and she saw her throat arch back as she felt the hard, insistent prod of his cock against the small of her back. Both of them watched, mesmerized by the sight of his palms sliding lightly down her stomach, over her hips, down the fronts of her thighs, until Kit was practically quivering in his arms.
His hands on her skin were the most erotic thing she'd ever seen, and in that second she understood what drove normal people to make their own home videos. And they said women didn't get off on visual stimulation...
Licking her lips in anticipation, Kit arched her back as Jake’s hands slid teasingly up toward her breasts, pausing to trace the soft undersides. Moaning in frustration, Kit covered his hand with hers, watched herself place his palm over her breast and guide his hand to pinch one hard nipple. Her breath hissed and her eyes dropped closed as he pulled at the tip, his mouth tracing a wet path along her neck and shoulder.
"That's it, Kitty Kat, show me how you want me to touch you. Show me all the ways I can make you feel good."
As far as she could tell, Jake had pretty much figured all of them out, but if he wanted instruction, who was she to refuse?
She pulled his other hand up to cover her neglected breast, sighing as he kneaded plump flesh and rolled her nipples between his fingers. "Kiss me," she whispered, tilting her head back against his shoulder. He bent his head and opened his mouth over hers, his tongue licking inside as though he couldn't get enough of her taste.
Releasing her mouth, he closed his lips over one earlobe, and another jolt of lust shot straight to her core. He nibbled and sucked the peachy flesh as his fingers rasped and tweaked her nipples, and Kit wondered, as she watched his hard, male hands claiming her body, if she was about to come with nothing more than his hands on her tits and his lips on her ear.
Wet heat pounded between her thighs. Grabbing his wrist she tugged his hand down to cover her neatly trimmed thatch of pubic hair. She shuddered, watching his fingers disappear into her moist heat, feeling strong, thick fingers stroke against the plump, slippery flesh of her pussy.
She watched herself, that wild woman in the mirror, her eyes heavy lidded, mouth slack with lust as she thrust her hips forward, trying to urge his hand harder against her. Two fingers worked between her legs, glistening with her juices, circling and rubbing the tight bud of her clit, sliding down to plunge inside.
"Yes, Kit," he growled against her neck. "Come for me."
His fingers pressed more firmly, and her eyes drifted closed as she felt the first sharp tug of her orgasm.
"Open your eyes," he said. "I want you to see yourself, how beautiful you are when you fall apart."
She did, and what she saw almost made her freeze. Her face, her whole body, was unguarded, vulnerable as she strained against him, letting him see the naked emotion in her eyes as she shuddered and convulsed.
Before the tremors faded Jake scooped her up and carried her the short distance to the bed, coming down over her so his weight was supported on his elbows. "You're so damned sexy," he said, rubbing the hot, hard length of his erection against the sweat-slicked skin of her belly. "Sexy and beautiful and amazing."
She wrapped her legs and arms around him, rubbing her hands up and down his back as she tried to touch every inch of smooth skin and hard muscle.
He pulled away long enough to slide on a condom, and she spread her thighs wide in welcome. Grasping his cock, she pulled him against her, urging him to slide hard and deep inside her pussy.
Eyes squeezed shut, head thrown back, Jake drove in, not stopping until he was buried to the hilt.
Electric shocks shot through every limb as Kit felt that thrust to the very bottom of her soul.
Cradling her head in his hands, Jake held her pinned with his fierce gaze. "I love you, Kit." He pulled almost all the way out, then slid slowly, deliberately, back in. "I'm not going to live without you. Do you understand me?" He punctuated his question with a rough circling of his hips, making her arch and strain as her greedy inner muscles clamped down around his thick shaft. "You're mine now, Kit. You've always been mine."
Her only reply was a low moan as her palms slid down to grip the hard muscles of his buttocks, pressing him even deeper inside. She wanted to swallow him whole, absorb him into her skin. Make him hers as much as she was his.
They rolled and twisted on the bed, trading who was on top, giggling as they got tangled up in the bedsheets. Eventually Kit found herself facing Jake on his lap, rocking against him in a slow, steady rhythm as his hands cupped her ass. He ground against her, holding himself impossibly deep as he swallowed her rising moans in his mouth.
Curly chest hair rasped her nipples as she rode him, arms looped around his shoulders as she held him tight. Almost without warning her climax gripped her, pulsing through her in long waves as Jake held her close, whispering he loved her, kissing away the tears that leaked out of the corners of her eyes.
He buried his face in her neck, whispering a soft "yes" as he came.
***
Hours later, Kit lay snuggled up against Jake, unable to sleep.
Even though she was physically and mentally exhausted, something ate at her conscience, refusing to allow her to escape into sleep.
Guilt.
For all the amazing sex she and Jake had had over the past month, this was different. Having Jake on top of her, inside her, knowing that he loved her...Now she understood what all those sappy morons meant when they talked about a spiritual connection.
Unbidden, Elizabeth's drunken question echoed in her head. Don’t you want to find love, Kit? God help her, she did, and lucky girl that she was, she'd found it with Jake.
Slipping out of bed, she grabbed her robe and went into the living room, silently closing the door behind her. She knew what she had to do.
She had to come clean, both with her readers and with Jake, and pray that he forgave her when she told him the truth about her man-eating alter ego.
Maybe if she put it into writing, it would be easier for everyone to take. She switched on her laptop and began to type.
Well girls, it's time for me to fess up. Time to let the world know that I, C. Teaser, invulnerable, unshakeable user of unsuspecting males, have done the unthinkable.
I've fallen in love.
Crazy, balls out, no holds barred, would move myself to the ass end of the planet and shave my head if he asked it kind of love. I'm even thinking about popping out a couple of gorgeous, green-eyed, black-haired babies. You know how vain I am. The fact that I would even contemplate the risk to my hard-won flat abs should tell you something.
But alas, it's true. I'm afraid I haven't been entirely truthful with you over these last few weeks. Remember the little stray hound who came begging so sweetly? He's really a prince in disguise and he swept me off my feet...
Two hours later, eyes gritty and a little nauseated from lack of sleep, Kit sent the column to Tina and stumbled off to bed. She fell into bed, exhausted, smiling as Jake murmured in his sleep and spooned her from behind. As she drifted off she whispered a little pr
ayer to the gods of newfound love, asking them to help Jake forgive her when she confessed the entire mess in the morning.
***
Jake was awakened by the harsh clanging of metal and the rumble of a truck engine that vibrated Kit's entire apartment building. God, he hated garbage day. He squinted at the clock. Five forty-five.
Kit didn't budge. Not surprising, since he'd felt her get up sometime around two. He'd promptly fallen back to sleep but had awakened briefly again when she'd slipped back into bed around four. Her bouts of insomnia had increased lately.
I'll just have to do more to tire her out, he thought with a grin.
The grayish morning light caught the side of her face. He loved watching her sleep, the way her full lips parted slightly as she crushed the side of her face into the pillow. Sometimes, like now, a little furrow appeared between her dark brows, as though she had worries she couldn't escape, even in sleep.
With a sigh of regret he slipped out of bed and left her undisturbed. As much as he wanted to roll her to her back and wake her by sinking between her legs, it was obvious she needed the rest.
He slipped on a pair of boxers, grinning to himself as he let himself out of the bedroom. He couldn't remember ever feeling this happy, this...peaceful. Though he hadn't really been conscious of it, the entire time he'd been in San Francisco, a subtle tension had weighed on his shoulders as he struggled to keep a balance between pushing Kit into a relationship without overwhelming her with the force of his emotions.
Last night had changed all that. She loved him, he was sure of it.
She might not have been able to say it, but he felt it in every touch, every kiss, the way she wrapped her arms and legs around him in an almost desperate grip. The words would come eventually. What mattered was that they were going to be together. Bone-deep warmth surged through him as he imagined their life together. The words would come soon enough. All that mattered was Kit was finally his.
Steely morning light cast the living room in shadows, and he could hear the hum of Kit's computer in the otherwise silent apartment. He quickly fixed himself coffee and sat down at her desk to check his email.
As he clicked open a browser window and logged into his remote email client, he noticed Kit's e-mail was still up. He glanced quickly at her in-box, then looked away.
Jake still had the nagging feeling that Kit was keeping something from him, but snooping was not the way to ease his mind. How could he keep her hard-won trust if he went searching through her correspondence?
He was working his way through his messages when a message for Kit flashed on the screen. Reflexively Jake glanced at it.
The message was from someone named Tina, the subject line “Your Latest C. Teaser Column."
C. Teaser...something about that name bugged him. Now he remembered. That column Michael had sent him, where the funny, bitchy woman made fun of the majorly pussy-whipped guy she was dating.
A burning ache settled into the pit of his stomach. Why would someone e-mail Kit about C. Teaser?
Almost involuntarily, he read Tina's message.
Kit, your latest column was genius! One of the funniest ever. I still haven't read the one you wrote this morning (you must be getting tired of your sex slave if you're up at 2 A.M. writing instead of gettin’ down!) but if it's anything like the last one, you should be signing a book contract by the end of the week.
Unable to stop himself, Jake searched through Kit's Sent folder and pulled up twenty editions of "Stripping It Down." With every word he read, the gnawing sickness grew until his whole body throbbed with hurt and rage as he realized what Kit really thought of him, of their relationship.
While he'd been falling in love, she'd thought of him as a sex toy and used him as fodder to entertain her readers. While he'd been entertaining visions of their future together, she'd been glorying in leading him around by his dick, waiting for the moment she could let him down hard as payback for the way he'd treated her twelve years ago.
He didn't bother reading the column she'd written at two o’clock this morning. He already knew what it said. No doubt she'd ridiculed his love, laughed at how thoroughly she'd duped him, and figuratively rubbed her hands as she anticipated how, very soon, she would grind his heart into a fine powder.
No wonder she hadn't been able to tell him she loved him.
Hot, humiliated tears burned his eyes, and he thought for a second he might barf all over her keyboard.
He had to get out of her apartment.
Grabbing his pants from where he'd dropped them last night on the living room rug, he hopped his way into them and slammed open the bedroom door. He saw her jolt awake in the corner of his eye but couldn't bring himself to look at her. If he did, he was afraid he'd strangle her, or worse, start crying like a chick and beg her to tell him none of it was true.
Tugging his suitcase out of the closet, he started throwing his clothes inside, yanking open the dresser drawer he'd claimed and shoving in shirts, underwear, and socks. Suits, pants, dress shirts were pulled from hangers and piled on top.
"Jake, what are you doing?" Kit asked. The mere sound of her low, sleep-husky voice nearly brought him to his knees.
How could he have been so wrong? How could he not have seen her for the cold-hearted bitch she really was?
He looked at her, reclining in the bed, un-self-conscious as the sheet slipped down to reveal gorgeous breasts he'd spent a good part of last night worshipping with his lips and tongue. Despite the stabbing pain in his heart, his cock sprang to eager attention. He had his answer.
"I'm leaving," he said, stuffing his running shoes into the corner of the suitcase. "Isn't that what you wanted, Kit?" He paused, staring at her hard. "Or do you prefer to go by C. Teaser, since that seems to be what you truly are?"
She swallowed audibly as all the color drained from her face. Her mouth opened but nothing came out.
At least she had the grace to look ashamed, even if she didn’t bother to defend herself.
She clutched the sheet to her chest, looking so vulnerable that for a moment he was ready to forget everything and believe it had all been a big, harmless joke.
But phrases he'd read drifted through his mind, cutting words that had the unmistakable ring of Kit's ruthless sense of humor. Lately he’s been hanging on my bra straps...Some might say I'm taking advantage, but why should I turn down the chance for a little pleasure along with a side of revenge?
He shook his head, filled with disgust for both of them. "You got me, Kit, you got me real good. You wanted revenge, you have it. Congratulations. If I hurt you even half this much the first time we slept together, I'm surprised you lived through it."
"No, Jake, you don't understand –" She babbled something about the column, a book deal, being pressured into writing more about him even though she didn't mean it.
He continued as though she hadn't spoken. "I thought we were past what happened, Kit, but apparently you're still the same hurt little girl who wants to blame everything on me so you don't have to admit that you had as much hand in what happened as I did. I may have screwed up royally afterward, but you wanted it as much as I did."
"That's not true," she sputtered, "you came on to me!”
"We both know that's a lie." He laughed harshly. "And it’s pathetic that you're still trying to convince yourself it's not. Almost as pathetic as the fact that you use what happened as an excuse to push people away, to never let anyone get close enough to have anything real with you."
"I loved you," she burst out, "and you tossed me away like a dirty sock! How was I ever supposed to trust anyone after that?"
"Jesus Christ, Kit, it was twelve years ago." He pulled on a shirt and zipped up his suitcase. "Past time for you to get over it and grow the fuck up."
Chapter 10
The slamming of her front door echoed through the apartment. Kit wrapped her arms around her knees, still attempting to process what had just happened. She felt like she'd fallen asleep and woken up in
some alternate universe, one in which everything had gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Numb, she managed to drag herself out of bed. Pulling on a robe, she wandered out into the living room wondering just what in the hell she was supposed to do now. The smell of coffee permeated the room. Coffee Jake had made before he stormed out in a fury like she'd never seen.
Her laptop was on, her e-mail in-box displayed for anyone to see.
A burst of righteous anger hit her. How dare Jake snoop in personal email!
But even in her head the words sounded hollow. She could blame Jake all she wanted, but she was the one who'd kept things hidden, the one who'd mocked and ridiculed every moment they'd shared. Sick with grief and guilt, Kit let the tears roll unchecked down her face, stunned by the depth of her pain as she thought of the things Jake had read, how betrayed he must have felt.
More betrayed than she'd felt when he'd taken her virginity and left without so much as a good-bye.
His accusations rang in her head. You're still the same hurt little girl who wants to blame everything on me so you don't have to admit that you had as much hand in what happened as I did...you use what happened as an excuse to push people away...
She stumbled over to the coffeepot, poured a cup, and sank limply into a chair at her kitchen table. Staring blankly at the window over her sink, she let herself really remember that night. Jake was right. All these years she'd blamed everything on him. Painted him as an unrepentant seducer of virgins, a user who'd taken what he wanted without any regard whatsoever.
Now she allowed herself to remember that night, remembered what she'd tried so desperately to block out. How love struck she'd been by Jake, her older brother's gorgeous best friend. How much she'd wanted him to notice her, to see her, not as a little girl, but as a woman. A sexual, desirable woman. The eagerness and fear that had coursed through her when he'd appeared on her doorstep. The way she'd employed every amateur seduction technique in her pitiful arsenal, convinced that this was her big chance to prove to Jake that she loved him, that they were meant to be together.
