“Yes, it is,” he said, still cautious.
Cecily sighed and rolled her eyes. “Javan, I’m growing weary of you. Let me get to the point, and then I’ll leave you to consider my offer. I want you to grant me power over the Elders when you become the Destroyer. It’s that simple.”
Cecily stood and made her way toward the door. She had less than an hour before the sun came up and obviously had no more desire of keeping his company during the coming day than he did hers. At the door, she turned to face Javan who was still sitting on the couch surveying her. “I’ll be back in a few nights. You can give me your decision then.”
“I’ll be looking forward to it.”
“Oh … I know you will be,” she responded.
He heard her purr playfully, then she was gone.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
GABRIELLE ~ DIFFERENCES
Gabrielle moved time forward again and heard a knock at the door. She could feel it was Lucas. He must have been about to knock just as she and Sheridan started working. She hurried to the door, realizing he would have been unable to move and fully aware, once again. Like the night before, guilt washed over her. She had the same lurch in her stomach and pain in her heart. Gabrielle opened the door to the face she yearned to see whenever he was away.
Lucas pulled her to him and held her snugly in his arms. “Haven’t you heard it’s rude to keep a guest waiting at the door?” he asked with a smile and pressed his lips to hers.
“I’m sorry, Lucas,” she said when they released each other. “I’ll figure out what I can do to keep that from happening to you again.”
“Yes, please do that.”
They continued to talk as they walked to the kitchen. Gabrielle was still hungry even though she didn’t feel like eating.
“What did you think was happening over the last couple of months when I paused time and you didn’t know anything about why you were suddenly, randomly, unable to move?” She asked.
Lucas laughed.
“I actually thought I was slipping into a trance or something. It only happened a few times, but I have to admit, I was getting pretty concerned. If I hadn’t learned that you were pausing time to explain it, I would’ve ended up at the hospital getting brain scans.”
“It would’ve been scary when they didn’t find a brain.” Gabrielle stopped in the living room and faced him, then winced playfully like she was going to be attacked.
Lucas raised a brow and smirked. He had her on the floor before she knew it. She had never been tickled before, and it made her laugh so hard that tears began to trickle out of her eyes, landing warmly in her ears. It was torturous, in a strange, fabulous way. When he finally stopped, he gave her a quick kiss and then sprung back to his feet. She lay there smiling and catching her breath, drying the path on her face that her tears had taken.
“That’ll teach ya!” Lucas said as he learned over and offered his hand.
She reflected on the day they had first met when he offered it to help her out of her car. She had blamed her response on her unfamiliar human body. Now … she knew it meant much more; this human was significant to her.
Life is funny, she thought as she reached for his hand. Before he could pull her up, she put her feet against his torso and pulled. His smirk quickly rearranged to a slack jaw and his eyes widened in surprise as he sailed over her and landed with a thud on the floor behind her.
“Ow!” he said through a laugh.
Gabrielle stood over him with a smirk, her hands on her hips. “Let that teach you!”
Lucas smiled as he got up, then wrapped his arms around her waist. She loved the way he made her feel—warm, peaceful, content, safe. Safe to be herself—safe to let her burdens go, to relax. Lucas leaned toward her, pausing before kissing her to look in her eyes, then his lips met hers.
“Lesson learned,” he whispered through a light kiss.
They held onto each other for a while before finally moving to the kitchen, still holding hands.
“So, it only happened a few times—feeling suspended in time?” Gabrielle asked, puzzled he noticed it so rarely.
“Yeah, as far as I know. I had dreams sometimes where I felt like I was awake but couldn’t move. I remember how quiet it was when I had that feeling.”
“That makes more sense,” she said. “I start my work late in the evening most of the time. So, if you were asleep when I paused time, you wouldn’t have even noticed.”
Gabrielle grabbed things from the refrigerator to make a sandwich and then bread from the pantry.
“Are you hungry?” she asked.
“I’m not much of one to turn down food even when I’m not. Want some help?”
“Sure.”
After making their lunch, they sat on the floor in the living room between the couch and the coffee table. Gabrielle turned on a football game.
Lucas grinned. “You know, you don’t have to watch this for my sake.”
“Who says I put it on for you? I have a lot to learn before next Saturday’s rematch.”
“I love the way you think, angel,” he replied, a mischievous look crossing his face.
“I love the way you look at me, Nephilim,” she said in return.
“Even when I look at you like this?” He moved his face dangerously close and slowly examined every inch of her face. His gaze lingered on her mouth, teasing her by moving closer every few seconds as though to kiss her. His hand moved to her neck, partially cradling her head.
“Especially when you look at me like this,” Gabrielle said, so breathless from anticipation she barely could get the words out of her mouth. She closed her eyes so the rest of her senses could take in the moment. She felt his breath hitch as he neared; desire filtered into every part of her body as she warmed from within. She crossed the short distance remaining between them. He immediately responded to her kiss, and his hand moved to the back of her head, weaving his fingers into her hair—gently pushing her head toward his.
Gabrielle’s mind began to spin, and she wondered if he would ever lose the power to make her feel this way. She hoped not. She paid close attention to every sensation his touch sent racing through her, to the smell of his skin that mingled with cologne—taking in the scent as she moved her lips down the curve of his neck—and to the sound of their breath as they became increasingly lost in each other.
His hand began to wander over her body like the first time he kissed her. He made her feel wanted—beautiful. It filled her with unfamiliar desire. They were lying down, slightly away from where they’d been sitting—where they had more room to move. Lucas’s body pressed against hers, and Gabrielle felt his craving for her becoming more intense as each second passed. His hand moved under her shirt. It was warm and soft on her skin, yet it sent chills racing through her body.
Gabrielle put her hand on his, bringing herself slowly back to the reality she needed to stay in. He didn’t protest but continued to kiss her softly as he relaxed.
“You know, I’m old enough to be your grandmother multiplied by something obscene … like … a thousand times.”
“Cougars are the in thing right now,” he said between kisses.
“Well, that would make me more of a Saber Tooth. I don’t think society’s ready to accept that kind of an age difference.” She sat up as he remained on the floor lying on his back, his hands behind his head. The definition in his arms distracted Gabrielle for a moment.
“No one but us even knows. You look like you’re my age.”
“Lucas, we need to speak seriously about this for a minute.”
Lucas sat up with over-dramatic seriousness, and Gabrielle popped his shoulder with the back of her hand.
“Okay! I’ll be serious, but only for a minute, like you said.”
“A minute will be enough,” Gabrielle said. “Everyone sees me as a seventeen-year-old, but you and I know I’m not. Lucas, I’m thousands of years old by human time.”
“I don’t care, Gabby.”
Gabri
elle shook her head and waved her hand in an effort to show him that wasn’t what she meant. Let me just say what I need to say, okay?”
“YUP!” he said, popping the P.
Gabrielle felt herself becoming agitated. She wasn’t sure if she felt that way because he was taking this conversation so lightly or if it was negativity from her job. She decided it was probably some of both. She stood up in a huff, showing her disapproval, taking a more severe tone as she continued.
“Lucas, you are not my equal when it comes to physical experience. I can’t be with you in the way I think you want me to be. In the way I know I want to be with you.” Gabrielle saw the shocked look on his face, and even though she’d warned him how she could be, she made an effort to reign in her irritation. “Look,” she continued, “I just want to make sure you understand, really understand, our limits—or at least mine. I operate under more stringent rules than you do as a human. Not only because I’m an angel, but because of the job I have as an angel.”
Lucas’s expression was smooth, telling her nothing.
Gabrielle turned, one hand on her hip, slowly running the other through her hair, stopping at the nape of her neck. She sighed heavily. “You don’t understand how different things are for us, Lucas. This is so much more complicated for me than for you.” Gabrielle lowered her head.
She was still turned away from Lucas, not sure if she could look at him. Sometimes human emotions were so difficult to understand. She wasn’t accustomed to feeling unsure of herself. She heard fabric moving against skin as Lucas stood, then his footsteps as he approached. He wrapped his arms snuggly around her from behind. There was silence for several minutes, but Gabrielle was relieved it wasn’t awkward. It was comforting. All he seemed to want to do was hold her tightly as if assuring her he would always be there. Gabrielle rested the back of her head against his shoulder.
“You’re right,” he said.
She felt the warmth of his breath on her ear, causing a tingling sensation to run through her.
“I don’t know how different things are for us. Maybe you should explain some more to me so you don’t feel alone. You know about humans, for the most part. I still don’t know very much about angels.”
Gabrielle turned to face him. “What do you want to know?”
“Can we start with Javan? I know he was important to you, but I don’t know what a romantic relationship is like for angels.”
Gabrielle flinched at Javan’s name, as the combination of loss, anger, and love she felt for him came to the surface. “Okay.” She took a deep breath. “Angels have many relationships similar to the ones you have here. For example, my superior, Amaziah, is more to me than my overseer. He is my teacher, my friend; he’s as close to a father as I can get. I love him very much. Our relationship is probably closest to the one I imagine you have with Ben.” Lucas nodded in understanding.
“There are many angels I consider friends. Others are my brethren who I have a kinship with but don’t know personally. We’re there for each other for whatever is needed, and we offer our assistance with no hesitation, expectations, or questions. We simply need to ask, or be asked, and it is done. In this way, the way we relate to each other contrasts humans. Humans tend to need a motivation of some kind even if it’s subconscious.” Gabrielle waited to see if he had any questions. None came, so she continued.
“We are also capable of having a very close relationship, if we choose to, with a Reyah—a companion. Like a husband or wife. We couple, which is like your sexual relationships; however, when we do, it’s … different. It’s far less physical than emotional and spiritual. The opposite of what humans experience. A human can achieve satisfaction from a purely physical exchange. This wouldn’t interest most angels at all. We crave the deep emotional connection physicality alone can’t begin to offer. It’s basically a waste of our time, so we either have what we desire or nothing else.”
Gabrielle motioned for him to follow her. Her stomach was becoming insistent on her filling it. She picked up her sandwich and took a bite, chewing and swallowing quickly. Lucas was hungry too, judging by his almost half-eaten sandwich. It made her smile. He didn’t notice her amusement, concentrating on his next mouthful.
Gabrielle took a sip of her drink and continued. “The way we choose a Reyah is similar to how you would choose a mate. We’re drawn to each other, but not because of chemical or physical attraction or ulterior motives that can often guide humans. We’re drawn to our mate through Divine guidance; Yahuwah leads us to them. He chooses for us because He knows our match. He guides humans in the same way, but people tend not to pay much attention. You know, free will and all. The biggest difference is we have only one Reyah for our entire existence. If something happens to one of the pair, we can never have another. When one of us loses our Reyah, it’s a greater loss than what a human would experience. When a human loses someone, they can choose another love when they are ready and at least ease their pain and fill the void. We feel the pain and void of our loss like it has just happened—forever.”
“That seems so cruel of God. To make you feel the loss forever like that, I mean.”
“The way we live in my home, as it relates to this subject, is nothing like how humans live. I guess it would be cruel if we lived as you do, but we don’t. We don’t lie to, or cheat on, each other. We don’t get bored and decide to find someone better. Occasionally, there are exceptions, but for the most part, my kind are exceptionally faithful.
“In my home, there’s no death from illness or old age. We can be killed, but only by another with Divine blood. All we have to fear is an attack by one of the Fallen—a demon. The only other way we are separated forever is if Yahuwah casts one of us out—like with Javan.”
“How long has it been since Javan fell?”
“Over a century ago, as your time passes.”
Lucas gently reached down to take her hand and kiss it. “You talk about time being different for us. What do you mean?”
“We don’t really have time-keeping. If we need to measure it for some reason, for the purpose of our interaction or duties with people, we use the method you do—seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and so on. Time is infinite for us, though. When we’re ascended, it’s useless to keep up with it.”
“How do you do your job and have it work within our time?”
“The simple answer is I don’t have to work within your time, so I don’t. I make your time work for me.” Lucas looked confused. Gabrielle tried to clarify. “Really, it’s a moot point unless I’m in human form. When I’m here, I pause time so I’m not missed, and I don’t miss anything I need to be a part of. In mortal time, my job would take much, much longer than a full day. I mean, every time I take Yahuwah’s orders and hand out karma. So my time moves very swiftly when I’m in my home, while yours, in comparison, moves incredibly slow for me.” Lucas still seemed to be having a hard time understanding.
“The full answer is really too hard for you to understand. Try to keep in mind that anything is possible for Yahuwah even if something seems impossible to you. You don’t have to have answers for everything. Life would lose so much magic, all its wonder, if you had all the answers to every question you ask. It’s nice to have unknowns, sometimes. It allows for imagination. It’s a shame people don’t use theirs much, anymore.”
Gabrielle adjusted to face him, still holding his hand as she did. It seemed they always had to be touching if they were near each other, like some invisible power pulled their bodies closer. Lucas smiled as if he read her thoughts.
“Does that help?” she asked.
“Some, but I still have more questions. Why do you call God, Yahuwah and Satan, Ramai?”
Gabrielle laughed.
“Because Yahuwah is His name, and Ramai … it’s what Angels began calling him after he fell. It means deceiver.”
He smiled, then drifted into his own thoughts. The break allowed things to enter her mind that she didn’t want to dwell on.
> She kissed him on his hand to get his attention. “How about we take a break from this and get some fresh air? Want to take a walk? I need a little more distraction and a little less reality.”
“Fresh air sounds good.”
The last thing she wanted to think about right now were the laws she was supposed to conduct herself by when it came to relationships with humans, or that being allowed romantic interaction was pretty much unheard of. She had plenty of time to think about it later when he wasn’t with her. She planned on enjoying the happiness and peace being with him brought her while she could, knowing, at any moment, it could end.
CHAPTER FORTY
GABRIELLE ~ A VISION
After Gabrielle had changed clothes, she and Lucas slowly made their way to the park a few blocks from her townhouse. She had spent a lot of time there over the summer months, watching mothers pushing strollers and joggers pushing themselves to their limits. Almost everyone had ear buds in, drowning out the sounds of birds singing, insects buzzing, and wind blowing through the leaves, causing the trees to sound as if they were giggling as the breeze tickled them. It made her sad that all the simplicity and beauty surrounding people was lost to them. So many pleasures and miracles went without notice.
It was a perfect early fall day, and Gabrielle was glad to enjoy it before it passed. The leaves were showing hints of the colors they would be turning, becoming trimmed or dappled with the reds, yellows, and oranges that spoke of fall’s approach.
By an unspoken decision, Gabrielle and Lucas stopped at the playground, and each took an available swing. After several minutes of silence, Gabrielle slowed hers until it was barely moving. She slipped off her flip-flops and played in the sand with the tips of her toes, drawing formless squiggles and unidentifiable shapes.
“So, how about I get a round of questions?” Gabrielle’s mood was still edgy, and she worried her request sounded more like a demand. Lucas didn’t seem to notice or mind.
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