by L A Cotton
She smelled of smoke and beer.
She smelled like a party.
“You were out?” I said, and she stilled.
“You didn’t know?”
“Kyle texted and said you were okay, that’s all.”
“We went to the football team’s party. It was Laurie’s idea.” Her voice was flat, and I turned her in my arms, taking in her torn expression.
“What’s wrong?”
Her brow raised, lips drawn into a thin line.
“Okay, dumb question. But I’m here now, and your dad’s not.” And I needed her. Fuck, did I need her.
Three hours mixing with my father’s business associates, playing in his world. I needed to erase it all. Not to mention the lingering stench of Caitlin’s perfume. Her fake smiles and high-pitched laughter that set my hair on end.
“I need a drink.” Lo shirked out of my hold and stormed down the hallway with a slight sway. I dragged a hand down my face with a groan. I’d wondered what I would find when I showed up here. All night, I’d played over the possible scenarios in my head. Would she run into my arms, relieved to have me back in one piece, or slam the door in my face?
I guess we were somewhere in the middle.
And it would have to do. Because being here was better than being there: playing the puppet, letting him pull my strings. Adrenaline rushed through me, the familiar spike of anger looking for a way out. I craned my neck from side to side, trying to work out the kinks. Trying to push down the storm.
Three deep breaths and I moved down the hallway after Lo. She could run but she couldn’t hide. The second I stepped in the kitchen, my eyes found her, drinking in the sight of her clutching the glass like it was her life supply.
“Say the word and I’ll tell you everything,” I said. “I’ll give you the whole play-by-play if it’ll make you feel better.”
“Don’t.” Her eyes shuttered as she let out a shaky breath.
I wanted to touch her. God, did I want to touch her, to reach out and make her see there was only her.
Only ever her.
“London,” I growled, and her eyes widened, flashing with contempt.
“Fuck you.” A mask slammed down over her face, but it wouldn’t keep me out.
Nothing would keep me out.
“You can shout at me.” I walked toward her slowly. “Call me all the names under the sun. Hit me. Hurt me.”
Lo moved back, keeping distance between us, but I was quicker. My body almost slammed into hers, sending the water splashing over the rim of the glass. I crowded her against the counter, staring down at her. “You can hate me and wish you never got messed up in my fucked-up life. I’ll take it. I’ll take it all. But you can’t leave me, Lo. You promised.”
Her eyes glazed over and soft full lips parted on a soft sigh. “I hate this,” she whispered. “I hate imagining her with you.”
I lowered my face until my mouth was hovering over hers. “So don’t. Imagine me. Us. Imagine me kissing you. Holding you. Imagine me inside of you. Loving you.”
She swallowed, the sound piercing the thick silence, and she swayed again. Lo was drunk. Maybe not wasted, but she’d been drinking and like a pussy, part of me hoped it was the reason for her acting like this.
But deep down, I knew it wasn’t.
“When your mind goes there, imagine this.” My hand slid along her neck, burying itself in her hair. “Me. Standing here, telling you how much I love you. Showing you how much I love you.” A shudder ripped through her and I leaned in licking a trail from her collarbone to the soft skin underneath her ear. “Only you, Lo.”
I wanted nothing more than to scoop her up and carry her caveman style to the bedroom. But I was exhausted and Lo looked ready to collapse. So I took the glass from her and placed it on the counter, slipped my hand into hers and guided us down the hallway to the bedroom. Then I stripped the clothes from her body and helped her into bed.
“Stay with me?” She pulled the covers up around her body and I moved closer, reaching down to brush the stray hairs from her face.
“Not tonight. You need sleep and if I stay we both know that won’t happen.”
Lo pouted, her bottom lip begging to be kissed. But I resisted, stuffing down all my desires and needs and said, “Good night, Lo.”
She was asleep before I got to the door.
~
I should have gone straight home. When Selina’s text came through, I should have told her I was sorry. That I couldn’t babysit her brother.
But I didn’t.
I was too wired. Leaving Lo was the right thing to do. She was angry, tired and a little bit drunk; throw sex into the mix and I knew things could turn sour. But now I had all this pent-up energy and nowhere to use it. So when the text came through, I got in my car and drove.
The warehouse loomed in the distance, lit up by a couple of floodlights. Cars lined the perimeter. And as I drew nearer, the beast inside me stirred. It had been almost a month since I last fought. My bruises were healed. The pain barely noticeable anymore. But I missed it. Fuck, did I miss the sting. The jarring bite of agony. The adrenaline pumping through my veins.
The high.
But I’d made a promise, and I had no intentions of breaking it. But just because I’d promised not to step in the ring, didn’t mean I couldn’t watch. Like an addict stalking a bottle of vodka or a junkie lingering in a stoner’s smoke. Just one taste.
One. More. Taste.
The second I entered the place, my blood sizzled. It was busy. The crowd already fired up and thirsty for blood. I’d grabbed my spare hoodie out of the trunk and slipped it over my body, leaving the hood up. But a couple of guys noticed me, tipping their heads in respect. I cut through them, positioning myself as near to the ring as possible. Two guys were going at it, fists smacking. Heads cracking. Bone crunching.
Thirst exploded in my chest and heat flashed through me, forming beads of sweat across my forehead. I wanted in. I wanted to make it stop. To rain my fists down on some faceless opponent, imagining it was him.
“Prince?” Someone yelled over the noise and I turned to see Dex bouncing on his feet, shoulders pitching to the side with each crack coming from the ring. He looked as wired as I felt. A junkie itching for their next hit.
“Hey, man,” I said lifting my chin before fixing my hardened gaze back on the ring.
“Didn’t expect to see you here.” He moved closer. “I thought you were done after what went down last time.”
“I am done,” I ground out.
“Looks like it, man.” He slapped me on the back and I bristled, folding my arms over my chest. He laughed, deep and coarse, and it only fueled my agitation. When he noticed my worsening mood, he laughed.
“Easy, Prince. I’m just pushing your buttons. I don’t blame you for stepping away. Wish I could sometimes, but we both know it’s not going to happen.” Realization flashed in his eyes. “Wait, did Selina… of course she fucking did. She needs to learn when to—”
“She’s worried.”
He puffed out his chest. “Yeah, well she doesn’t need to be. I’ve got this, man.”
One of the guys went down and the room exploded. The crowd jostled, shoving us forward, but when they caught a glimpse of Dex’s blue-tinged mohawk they backed off, mumbling apologies.
“Listen, I got to go get ready. Stick around, we’ll catch a drink afterward.” He scratched his jaw.
I opened my mouth to tell him to be careful, to watch his back. To remember he had Selina to think about. But he was too far gone, and no fighter wanted to hear those words seconds before a match. So I gave him a tight nod and watched as he slipped into the crowd.
Dex was a live-wire, carrying a darkness not even I could comprehend. He’d lost his girlfriend. The person he loved. If anything ever happened to Lo… I couldn’t even go there. It was a place I wouldn’t return from. Bobby and the security guys hauled the lifeless guy off the cold ground and dragged him to the back room. She saw you
like that, my conscience whispered. Only I’d been worse. Blood everywhere. Eyes swollen shut. Barely conscious. And Lo hadn’t run, she’d stuck by me. Visited me every day while I healed.
The thought gutted me. Punched me in the chest, sucking the air clean from my lungs. She’d been standing right here, watching as I destroyed myself. And she was still here. Without a second thought, I turned around, slid my phone out of my pocket and melted into the sea of bodies. As I texted Selina, I ignored my name being called. Ignored the flashes of recognition on guys faces. I ignored it all. I was done. I didn’t need this anymore. I had the one thing I needed.
The only thing I needed.
And I was going to fight whatever bullshit my father or Caitlin or JB threw at me because she was worth it.
Lo was worth every agonizing second.
~
“I enjoyed the other night.”
I slammed my locker, glaring down at Caitlin. “You’re in the way. Move.”
“Come on, Maverick, do you need to be so grumpy? It was fun, wasn’t it? Just like old times.” She trailed her finger up my arm and I snatched it away, glancing around the hallway. Caitlin mumbled something under her breath, rolling her eyes. “Don’t worry, she isn’t here. I saw her walking to class with Devon.”
“Lio—” I slammed my lips shut. She was baiting me, and I was falling for it. “Move, Caitlin, before I make you move.”
“Is it wrong I like the sound of that?” she purred like a strangled cat. It was no doubt supposed to sound sexy and seductive, instead it grated on me like nails against a blackboard. Everything about her rubbed me the wrong way. And I hated that I’d ever allowed myself to be manipulated into a relationship with her. Hated that she knew my most intimate parts, my secrets.
“Look, this thing, you and me, it’s business. Nothing more. The sooner you accept that, the better.”
Anger flashed in her eyes but then it was gone, a smug smile tugging at her lips. “There’s a gala this weekend. Daddy got us tickets.”
My fist clenched, and I inhaled deeply before I did something stupid. Something I couldn’t take back. “Fine.”
“Pick me up at seven?”
“Whatever. I need to go.” I shouldered past her and ducked down the hallway. When I rounded the corner, Kyle saw me and came straight over.
“What happened?”
“Caitlin.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, shit. Listen, I can’t do this here. Too many ears. Was she—” The words died on my tongue. Of course she wasn’t okay. She’d been distant yesterday when she'd come over to study. She played a good game. Her kisses felt the same, her touch, even the way she pushed and challenged me. But I knew her better, and I knew she wasn’t there with me. Not really.
Lo was pushing me out. She was letting them win.
“I’m worried about her.” Kyle’s mouth down-turned at the corners.
“I know. Me too. Just keep an eye on her, okay?”
He nodded, and I saw he wanted to say more. But he knew as much as I did, I had no choice but to see this thing through until the end. It was the only way to put shit with my father behind me once and for all.
“You know I will.” He held my stare saying everything I needed to hear.
“I have to go see Coach. Text me later.”
“Consider it done.” Kyle clapped me on the back and then he was gone.
As I made my way out of the building and to the gym, Caitlin’s words played in my head. I knew she was lying. Lions had tried more than once to talk to Lo and every time she’d brushed him off. It burned that she hadn’t told me herself, but I got it. She didn’t want to run to me every time something happened. But lucky for me, I had eyes and ears everywhere and not much got past me.
Not where Lo was concerned.
Lo
Another week passed. Another weekend of waiting around, trying not to imagine what they were doing. It was slowly killing me. But I couldn’t tell Maverick that. He needed me to be strong, to get through this. So I did. I spent hours at the pool house studying with him, poring over past test questions. At least by the time I came to sit my own SAT, I’d be more than prepared. But it was little consolation for the constant ache in my heart. The burning jealousy I felt every time I saw Caitlin around school.
She played up to it, of course. Spreading rumours she and Maverick were back together but taking things slow. Every time I heard a whisper in the hallway or girls talking in the bathroom, another little piece of me died.
“Lo, earth to Lo,” Laurie nudged me, and I blinked at her.
“Huh?”
“I said, come on, we don’t want to miss anything.” She slipped her arm through mine and guided us through the gathering crowds to our seats. My stomach knotted tightly as my eyes found Maverick as he stretched with his teammates. It was his first full game since the fight. Coach let him play two quarters in the last game, but he struggled. We all saw it. But he looked strong today as he flexed his arms above his head and out to his sides. My eyes followed the lines of his muscle. Smooth and sculpted.
“You have a little drool.” Laurie mocked, and I cast her a sideways snarl. She chuckled but then her smile slipped. “Ugh. Bitch alert.”
The cheerleaders ran out onto the court. Caitlin stood front and center. Her skirt too short and her top too tight and her smile too fucking smug. I groaned.
“He hasn’t even looked in her direction. You have nothing to—Oh, shit.”
Anger ignited in my stomach as I watched Caitlin bounce over to the boys as they warmed up. “If she even thinks about tou—” My hand flew to Laurie’s, crushing it in my fingers as Caitlin got right in Maverick’s face, cunning and victory oozing from her.
“She wouldn’t dare,” Laurie choked. “He wouldn’t…”
Everything slowed.
Slowly.
Slow.
Slo—
Time stopped.
It was like watching a car crash happen in front of your eyes and being unable to stop it. She went up on her tiptoes, pressing herself against him, her lips inches away from his face.
“Prince, get over here,” Coach Callahan boomed, and Maverick brushed past Caitlin sending a bolt of relief through me.
“She was going to do it, she was going to ki—”
“Laurie,” I hissed aware of all the people around us. “Anyway, where’s Kyle? He’s late.”
Her brows knitted together. “You tell me. He said he’d meet us here,” she said, her voice bitter.
It wasn’t the first time I’d noticed it, and I wanted to push. To find out what was going on, but it was awkward. She was my best friend and Kyle was family. I didn’t want to end up between them. Not when I needed them both.
“I’m here, if you need to talk.” I held her conflicted gaze, letting her know she could come to me. That whenever she was ready, I’d be here.
“I’m fine. Everything’s fine,” she replied a little too quickly.
Music blared through the speakers and the cheerleaders got into formation for their opening act, but my eyes were focused on the huddle of players in red and white. Maverick stood out. Dark hair mussed over his eyes as he listened to Coach Callahan bark out orders, tapping the clipboard in his hands.
“So, explain it again.” I turned to Laurie. “They have to win their next three games to go to the regional finals and then win those games to play in the State Championship?”
She nodded, a broad smile on her face. “Last year, they made it to the regionals but lost out to Roosevelt.”
“Right, got it, I think.”
“Just pray they win. Anything less and Maverick’s shot at taking home a Championship before graduation is dust.”
“Win, right,” I mumbled, my eyes searching him out again. The teams were moving into position and Maverick faced off against a giant.
Laurie shoulder checked me. “It’ll be fine and then tonight, we’ll celebrate. You are still coming to the party, aren’t you?”
“I—”
“Lo, you have to come. I know it’s hard right now,” she lowered her voice. “But he’d want you there. He needs you there.”
I swallowed the reply on the tip of my tongue, pressing my lips together. Laurie rolled her eyes at me, but the whistle blew and Maverick leapt off the ground swinging his arm for the ball.
And everything else melted away.
~
“And where the hell were you?” Laurie slammed her hands into Kyle’s chest and he staggered back, throwing his hands up to avoid another onslaught.
“I got held up, I’m sorry.”
“Held up? You missed Maverick’s first game back…” Laurie launched into a verbal assault and I studied Kyle. His brows were pinched together. Shoulders tight. He was hiding something alright. But I’d have to wait to ask.
“We missed you,” I added, making a beeline for his Jeep.
“I got here as fast as I could. They won?”
“If you’d have shown up, you’d know,” Laurie snapped, storming off with her arms across her chest.
“I guess I deserve that.” He fell into step beside me.
“I don’t want to pry, Kyle, but is everything okay?”
“Cous,”—he slung his arm over my shoulder guiding me to the door—“everything is peachy keen.”
“Peachy keen? Who says that?”
“Me. I say it. Got a problem with that?” He smirked, the usual mischievous glint back in his eye.
“You’re insufferable.”
“I think the word you’re looking for is awesome. I’m awesome.”
We clambered into the Jeep, Laurie up front and me in the back. Kyle turned up the radio, drowning out his girlfriend's voice as she went on about how he’d stood her up, let his stepbrother down. Whatever was going on with the two of them, I hoped it passed soon.
My phone vibrated, and I dug it out of my pocket.
Maverick: I’ll find you later. Wait for me.
Lo: What if I don’t want to be found?
