by Kitty Neale
‘One moment, please, I’ll put you through.’
It was only seconds later that she heard Alec’s voice, her own stuttering as she said, ‘Alec, we’re…we’re waiting for an ambulance. Your…your mother’s got to go into hospital.’
‘What? Why?’
‘The doctor said she has pneumonia.’
‘Oh, my God. What hospital are they taking her to?’
Mavis floundered. ‘I…I don’t know.’
‘Is the doctor still there?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, ask him then,’ Alec snapped impatiently.
Mavis held her hand over the receiver as she called out to Dr Hayes, and when he told her St Thomas’s she passed it on to Alec. ‘I’ll go with your mother in the ambulance, and I’ll see you there.’
There was no reply as Alec hung up. Mavis stood for a moment, but then moved into action. The children, she had to sort out something for the children. Calling out that she wouldn’t be long, Mavis dashed next door.
‘Jenny, oh, thank God you’re in!’
‘Mavis, what’s the matter?’
‘It’s my mother-in-law. She’s got pneumonia. We’re waiting for an ambulance. Please, Jenny, would you pick up Grace for me and, if I’m not back, James too?’
‘Of course I will. Now go on, just go, and don’t worry, they’ll be fine with me.’
‘Thank you, thank you,’ Mavis cried before running home again.
The ambulance arrived ten minutes later and they were on their way to hospital. Edith was rushed to intensive care, but it was nearly an hour before Alec arrived.
‘Thank God you’re here,’ Mavis said as he was led to his mother’s bed.
Alec just threw her a look, pulled out a chair and sat down. He didn’t speak at first, but then he turned, his eyes hard as they bored into hers. ‘Look at her. Look at my mother. What happened?’
‘When I went in to see her, she…she had slipped off her pillows.’
‘No wonder she accused you of neglect. I can see why now.’
‘Alec, I don’t neglect her, it’s just that when I returned home after taking the children to school, the telephone was ringing.’
‘Oh, so that’s why my mother was lying there in that state—I suppose you were chatting on the telephone to yours.’
‘No, it was Pete ringing to tell me that my mother gave birth to a son.’
‘Bully for her, but it sounds to me as if you’re just making excuses. Just go, Mavis. I don’t want you here.’
Mavis hesitated, but Alec looked venomous as he hissed, ‘Just go.’
With one last look at her mother-in-law, and with Alec ignoring her whispered goodbye, Mavis left the ward.
She’d have to get a bus home and went to find the right stop, her heart heavy as she waited in the queue. Why hadn’t she noticed how shallow Edith’s breathing was when she had changed her sheet first thing that morning? Not only that, Edith had refused to eat, but, worried about the time, she’d let it pass, deciding to try again later. She’d been impatient, anxious that Alec would be late for work, and that she still had to get the children ready for school.
She would never forget her horror of finding that Edith had slid off her pillows. How long had she lain there like that? Did it happen while she was taking the children to school? She should have looked in on Edith as soon as she got back, but instead she had dashed to answer the telephone.
Yes, she had neglected Edith, and, if anything happened to his mother, Alec would never forgive her.
Jenny opened her door at twelve thirty, surprised to see Mavis. She’d only been to collect Grace half an hour earlier and had expected to have her for much longer. ‘You’re back from the hospital? Is your mother-in-law all right?’
‘No, I’m afraid not. She’s in intensive care.’
‘Oh, dear, I’m sorry to hear that. Are you coming in?’
‘Yes, if you don’t mind,’ Mavis said, following Jenny to the kitchen. ‘Where’s Grace?’
‘She’s playing in the garden and she’s fine.’
‘That’s good,’ Mavis said as she sat down.
Jenny saw how pale Mavis looked, her manner somehow distant, but said nothing until she had poured them both a cup of tea. She handed one to Mavis and then sat down opposite, asking softly, ‘Are you all right?’
Mavis shook her head. ‘Not really. I’m worried about my mother-in-law. If anything happens to her, I dread to think how Alec is going to react.’
‘I’m sure she’ll be fine, but if the worst happens, Alec will grieve, just as you grieved, and probably still are for your father. You’ll be able to comfort each other.’
‘I doubt that,’ Mavis said. ‘I neglected his mother, and if she dies, he’ll blame me.’
‘Mavis, that’s rubbish,’ Jenny said kindly. ‘You’ve looked after his mother for years. You’ve been marvellous and Alec knows that. Now come on, buck up, I’m sure you’re worrying about nothing and she’ll be fine.’
Mavis’s face was etched with guilt as she told Jenny what had happened. ‘So you see, I should have checked on Edith before answering the telephone. It was Pete, ringing to tell me that my mother has had the baby. I was so happy for her, but…but, Jenny, by taking the call, I did neglect Edith.’
‘Mavis, listen to me—your mother-in-law’s health has been deteriorating for ages. All right, she had slipped off her pillows and I don’t suppose that helped, but she had pneumonia.’
With a heavy sigh, Mavis looked at the clock. ‘It’s nearly one o’clock, and I’d best get back. Alec might ring me, but then again I doubt it. Oh, Jenny, I hope she’s all right.’
‘Look, why don’t you go back to the hospital? I don’t mind having Grace and I can pick James up from school too.’
‘No, he told me to leave, said he didn’t want me there.’
‘But why?’
‘I told you, I neglected his mother, and though you say slipping off her pillows wouldn’t cause pneumonia, don’t you see, I should have noticed how bad she was earlier. I was up at six, changing her sheet, washing her, but I was so tired, Jenny, hardly able to keep my eyes open, and she had messed the bed. It took ages to clean her up, and I got all behind; I heard the children waking up, knew that Alec would be annoyed that I wasn’t there to see to them. Oh, listen to me, it sounds like I’m making excuses. Alec said that and he’s right.’
‘Mavis, stop it! You don’t have to explain yourself to me, or come to that, anyone. How you’ve coped with looking after your mother-in-law, the children, and the house single-handedly for years is beyond me. I’ve seen how tired you are, how the weight has dropped off you. If you ask me, you deserve a bloody medal.’
‘I…I still should have noticed, especially when she wouldn’t eat her breakfast.’
‘For goodness sake, you’re not a nurse with medical training and, let’s face it, she’s been going downhill for ages.’
‘If anything happens to her, Alec won’t see it that way.’
‘Then sod Alec,’ Jenny snapped, her hand then going to her mouth in horror. ‘Oh, blimey, I shouldn’t have said that.’
‘What’s sod Alec?’ a small voice asked.
‘Grace,’ Mavis said as she jumped to her feet. ‘Goodness, I didn’t see you there.’
‘Sod Alec,’ Grace repeated.
‘Mavis, I’m so sorry,’ Jenny said, and crouching in front of Grace she fought for an explanation. ‘Sod is, er…er…another word for a lump of mud, or grass.’
Grace looked puzzled, but Mavis burst into laughter. ‘Alec, a lump of mud,’ she gasped, doubling over with mirth.
At first Jenny chuckled, but then her face straightened as Mavis’s laughter turned first to hysteria, then sobs—sobs that racked her body. Jenny swept Grace up into her arms and hurried into the garden. ‘Come on, darling,’ she urged. ‘Let’s pick some flowers.’
‘What’s the matter with my mummy?’
‘She’s just a bit upset, but she’ll be fine soon
.’
‘Me give her the flowers?’
‘Yes, of course you can,’ Jenny said, leading Grace to Stan’s immaculate flower border. He wouldn’t be happy to see his precious blooms cut, but she wanted to distract Grace, to give Mavis time to cry, to let it all out, and maybe, just maybe, it would help.
Alec faced the doctor, sick with worry. He had watched his mother fighting for breath, had touched her forehead to find it hot yet clammy, but this was the first time he’d been called to talk to a doctor.
A nurse stood by his desk while the doctor steepled his fingers, his expression grave. ‘I’m sorry, Mr Pugh, I’m afraid your mother’s prognosis isn’t good. Is there anyone you’d like to call, any other relatives?’
‘No, there isn’t anyone else.’
‘Would you like to talk to the hospital chaplain?’
‘Why? No, no. Are you telling me that my mother’s dying?’
‘We are doing all we can, but…’ his voice trailed off.
‘Would you like to sit with your mother again, Mr Pugh?’ the nurse asked as she stepped forward.
‘Yes, yes,’ Alec said, reeling with shock as he rose to his feet.
‘I’m sorry, Mr Pugh,’ the doctor said.
Alec barely heard him. His head was buzzing and he felt dizzy, but he fought it off as he was led back to his mother’s side. This couldn’t be happening. It was a nightmare, it wasn’t real.
‘I’ll get you a cup of tea,’ the nurse said kindly.
Alec looked at his mother, took her hand and faced the truth. This was real, his mother was dying and, unmanly or not, he allowed his tears to flow.
It was some time before Alec was able to pull himself together, before he was able to think clearly again. Perhaps he should ring Mavis, tell her what was happening, but then his lips tightened in anger.
No, he still didn’t want Mavis here. He knew that his mother slipping off her pillows hadn’t caused this, but Mavis should have seen earlier how ill she was. If only he’d had looked in on her before he left for work, but it was too late now, too late to save her.
Alec looked at his mother’s face, pleading with her to speak to him. ‘It’s me, Mother. It’s Alec.’
There was no response, not a flicker of movement, and in despair he laid his head on the side of her bed.
Mavis couldn’t stand it any longer and rang the hospital again at eight that evening, only to be told that there was no change. What was going on? If his mother was all right, if there was no change, why was Alec still there?
The children were asleep, the house silent and, mentally exhausted, Mavis sat down, her head sinking back into the corner of the winged armchair. She closed her eyes, felt sleep overcoming her and gave in to it. Ten minutes, she’d doze for ten minutes, that was all.
‘Mavis!’
She awoke with a start, blurry-eyed as she tried to focus on Alec. He was standing right in front of her, his eyes blazing with anger.
‘Alec, you’re back. How is your mother?’
‘She’s dead,’ he snapped.
‘What! Oh, no!’ Mavis cried, stumbling stiffly to her feet.
‘Yes, Mavis, she died an hour ago, and it’s all thanks to you.’
Mavis looked at the clock, unable to believe that it was two in the morning, and when she spoke again, her voice was high with shock. ‘Oh, Alec, please don’t blame me.’
‘Why not? She’s dead because of your neglect,’ he snapped.
Mavis didn’t know what to say, what to do as she looked at her husband. He threw her a look of disgust and then marched from the room. She heard his footsteps on the stairs and, helpless, she slumped onto the chair again. As she had feared, Alec blamed her for his mother’s death, and, no matter what Jenny said, he was right.
Mavis hunched forward, shivering, fearing the future, fearing living with a man who had looked at her with such hatred. Alec would probably make life intolerable for her now—but then she’d neglected his mother and it was no more than she deserved.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
By the end of August, if it hadn’t been for the fact that she had more freedom now, Mavis knew that she wouldn’t have been able to stand the strain. The atmosphere when Alec was at home was awful, his grief still manifest in the anger he directed towards her.
He marched into the kitchen now, his drawings of her allotted tasks for the day in his hand. ‘Make sure you clean these two bedrooms thoroughly. My mother loved this house and had high standards. I want them kept up.’
‘Yes, Alec,’ Mavis said as she placed his breakfast on the table. She had hoped to see what had once been the living room on his list, but so far he had refused to let her touch it. Edith’s bed remained where it was, the side table, and even her commode untouched.
Mavis knew grief, knew that Alec still rightfully blamed her, and tried to make allowances, but she was worried about the children. Alec barely acknowledged their presence and when he did it was just to snap at them. She shielded them as much as possible and during the school holidays took them out to the park or the common, but there was only one week left before James started his new term and Grace returned to nursery.
Both children were withdrawn when Alec was at home, unnaturally quiet, as if instinctively knowing not to disturb their father. It worried her, but at least he hadn’t laid a hand on them. If he did, Mavis didn’t know what she’d do. As long as he took his temper out on her, she could just about bear it, but not if he started on the children.
‘Pour me another cup of tea,’ Alec demanded.
She did his bidding, and then quietly leaving the kitchen Mavis went upstairs to look in on the children. They were in James’s room, sitting on the floor and playing with his Meccano set. ‘Has Daddy gone yet?’ James asked.
‘Not yet, but soon,’ she said.
‘Don’t like Daddy,’ Grace whined, her expression sulky.
This was Grace’s usual refrain now and Mavis had given up trying to explain that her daddy didn’t mean it when he was sharp with her, that he was just sad and missing his mother. Grace and James had no concept of death and, once told that their grandmother was in heaven now, they barely mentioned her.
The children, like Mavis, enjoyed being able to go out now, and yesterday they had ventured to Peckham again. They had now been a few times, and even though Pete’s initial description that he looked like a boxer had proved to be accurate, the baby was so adorable. Her brother might only be her half brother but Mavis already loved him dearly.
As though aware of her thoughts, James said, ‘Can we go to see Robert again?’
‘Not today, darling, but perhaps on Friday. We’ll go to the park today, and maybe Jenny will come with Greg.’
‘Goody,’ James clapped, but then hearing Alec calling her, Mavis swiftly left them.
‘I’m going to work now,’ he said, standing at the bottom of the stairs as Mavis walked down them. ‘The kitchen looks a mess so you can add it to your list.’
‘Yes, Alec,’ she said. The kitchen wasn’t in a mess, there were just his breakfast things to clear up, but she didn’t argue. It was simpler that way.
At last the door closed behind him, and immediately the children came running downstairs. ‘Can we go now, Mummy? Can we go to the park?’ James begged.
‘Not yet, darling. I’ll need to do a bit of housework first, but it won’t take long,’ Mavis told him. She knew that Alec would check to see if the rooms had been properly cleaned, but she had learned how to cut corners now, which parts he’d inspect and which she could leave.
The two bedrooms could be done in under an hour and so, ushering the children into the garden, she began to wash up the breakfast things, just as anxious as they were to get out of the house.
On Saturday, Alec began going through his mother’s things. After her death, the will had been easy to find, and there had been no surprises. She had left him this house, and from her annuity a yearly income, but now he had finally found the strength to sort out ot
her old files and papers.
His mother’s death still haunted him: the thought of her lying alone, fighting to raise herself up, while Mavis chatted on the bloody telephone. He would never forgive his wife, could barely look at her, and when he did his anger rose up inside him.
Forced to sleep downstairs, his mother hadn’t used this bedroom for years, but her clothes still hung in the wardrobe, her other things in drawers. Alec could barely bring himself to look at them, and maybe he should instruct Mavis to clear them out; but for now he pulled out one of his mother’s dresses, burying his nose in the lingering smell of lavender perfume.
At last Alec hung the garment up again, but then, as he looked at the top shelf, he thought he could see something tucked in the corner. Unable to reach it, Alec dragged a chair over, and standing on it he pulled forward an old wooden box. It was something he hadn’t noticed before, and puzzled he lifted it down. It was locked, but though Alec looked in all the drawers, he couldn’t find a key. What was in it? As it was locked, surely it was something of importance.
Alec ran downstairs and, Mavis being in the garden with the children, the kitchen was empty. He pulled open a drawer, found a screwdriver and then hurried back upstairs again where he impatiently worked at the lock until, at last, it opened.
Inside Alec saw what looked like an old diary, and intrigued he sat on the side of the bed to open it, instantly recognising his mother’s beautiful, flowery handwriting. For a moment he had to blink back tears of emotion, but then, as he began to read, his feelings turned to anger. No! No! It couldn’t be true—but there was no denying his mother’s written words. Alec surged to his feet. Everything his mother had told him about his father was a lie! Her whole life had been a lie!
Fury blazed in his eyes as Alec tore the diary to shreds, but the act didn’t have the power to calm him. Still livid, still burning with anger, Alec ran downstairs. ‘Mavis, come here!’ he yelled as he flung open the back door.
‘What is it?’ Mavis asked nervously, closing the door behind her as she walked into the kitchen.
