Carolina had been strangely into Ethan and his coming on board. “I think Key might … hurt him.”
Aiden laughed. “Always did like that boy. Lotta common sense, you ask me.”
“And no one did,” Carolina said. “What are you worried about most?”
“Jem,” she said simply.
There was a silence on the other end of the line, then, “Did you talk to him about it?”
“A bit.” She turned to see him standing in the doorway. “Probably not enough.”
*
Carolina and Drea wrapped up their conversation pretty quickly. Jem couldn’t blame Drea for calling her. He was glad they were as close as they were.
Because hell, Drea was right. He was concerned about himself too. So much so that he’d taken a walk along the bayou swamps, letting the tall grasses brush his legs, trying to figure out how he was going to not lose himself in all this.
“Sorry,” she said sheepishly.
“Don’t be. I’ve called her to get me through a lot of things myself.” When she gave a small smile, he said, “And I’m sure she told you that too.”
“Nothing specific, though,” she assured him.
But Carolina had done whatever was in her power to warn Drea about Jem, in the most loving, positive way she could. It would be her way of testing Drea. Because if she’d been scared away by Carolina’s mention of “crazy” and “mental institutions,” then she wasn’t the one for him. Carolina would’ve never turned her away, though. She would’ve found Drea a nice guy instead.
But obviously, Drea didn’t want nice. She wanted him.
He shrugged at that thought, saw the now familiar worry in her eyes. He sank onto the bed and rubbed his eyes. “We have to talk. About what’s going to happen.”
“Okay. Has the plan changed?”
“No. It’s the same.” He paused. “It’s me who hasn’t changed, Drea.”
She frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean? I know you haven’t. I don’t want you to.”
“You only know me for how I protect you. You don’t see … what I do.”
“I know what you do is help people. You always have.”
“This, what I’m planning … it’s a violent job.”
She nodded. “You do violent things all the time for S8.”
“That’s different. This is so …” He searched for the right word. “It’s personal. Important.” Important enough to take him over the edge.
“Jem, you’re really scaring me.”
“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”
She moved closer to him. “You don’t think we’ve come further than this? That we’re past what happened to me on that S8 mission? That part of life is the possibility of danger, no matter who I’m with?”
“I think we moved ahead with the speed of a freight train without brakes. And it’s something I wanted, I know that. I didn’t stop to take into consideration that I might not be all that good for you.”
“You know I’m not angry with you for what happened.”
“Well, you goddamned should be.”
“You don’t get to tell me what I’m supposed to do.” She pushed against him angrily. “So you need to tell me what this bullshit’s all about, Jem. Now.”
“It’s about me, Drea. About how I’m not the most stable person.”
“You hold down a pretty important job.”
“Because of my instability, not in spite of it.”
She threw up her hands. “So all of Section 8’s unstable?”
“To some extent. Not like me.”
“You need to start explaining this to me. I don’t give away my heart randomly. You have to know that. And I’ve given it to you, the first time we met, and now again. I think, if I hadn’t gotten my memories back—no, I know that I’d still fall in love with you if I didn’t get my memories back—”
“You fell in love with me?”
“Like you don’t know!”
He swallowed hard. “I love you, Drea. But that might not be enough. Because I just … I lose it, okay? I’m not manic and I don’t get depressed. I just dive into shit not thinking about consequences. Docs have always said I’ve got a death wish.”
“They’re wrong,” she told him. “You have too much conscience. When you feel too deeply you push it down and go off into crazy town.”
That comment surprised him, and he took it in for a second, filtered it through his “hell no” brain and let it go. “The only thing I’m good at is killing. They sent me to do shit no one else wants to. I volunteer. I’ll do anything.”
“And now?”
“You’re better off without me. Because if I can’t control the shit, I’m going to get you killed one day, and then I really wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I can’t let you do that to yourself.”
“I keep telling you, I make my own choices. You don’t get to let me do anything.”
“I’m unbalanced, Drea. You haven’t seen it yet—”
“Like when you kidnapped me?”
“That was nothing.” He sat up. “I see things differently than most people. I’m unbalanced, but it’s not something any pill can fix. I grew up without balance—no one was ever on an even keel, except for Key, and he was too young to be able to help. In this family, you never knew what you’d get—it was like working on a shifting tightrope. I’m like that. And that’s not even my assessment—that’s Key’s.”
“And for you? You never noticed that?”
“No, I didn’t.” Jem stared at her. “They hit me. It didn’t matter. But I was getting them angry enough that the only thing they knew I cared enough about was Key. They were smart enough to know that, and so, when they threatened to do it to Key, I had to get the fuck out of there. I deserted him.”
“To keep him safe. That doesn’t sound like the workings of an insane man at all.”
“You’re a doctor, not a shrink. Not my shrink.”
“Are you staying with me out of guilt?” she demanded. “Even if the answer is partially yes, get out now.”
“I’m not going anywhere until the OA’s off your back. And then you get to go wherever you want. You can get on with your life.”
“Fuck you very much, Jeremiah. Who the hell do you think you are, making decisions about my life out of fear?”
“I’m afraid for you if you stay with me,” he agreed quietly. “That’s not going to change.”
“Everyone’s scared. Get over it.”
Chapter Thirty
Key came back up to the house ahead of Ethan to find most everyone out on the porch. He asked Gunner, “What going on?”
Gunner pointed to the window above. “Fight.”
Key frowned. “And you’re all here listening?”
“We have to know how to help,” Grace said reasonably, and Dare rolled his eyes.
“To be clear, this was their idea.” He pointed between Grace and Avery, and Avery gave him the finger.
She glanced at Dare. “You’ll thank us later,” then turned to Key and said, “Your brother’s losing it.”
“No. Jem’s being Jem. What you see is Jem being different from the Jem you’ve known for a bit. This Jem? That’s the one I’ve always known.” Key stared at them. “It’s not a bad thing. He’s got no balance. He needs to come to his own terms about things. Telling him what he should do won’t mean shit to him.”
“So, what does get through to him?” Grace asked quietly.
“Love,” Key said simply. “You’re going to have to trust in that. Because it’s going to get ugly.”
“Jesus,” Gunner muttered.
Key looked up and met Ethan’s eyes, but he couldn’t decipher what the hell the guy was thinking. He hated that. “What’s the problem?”
“None. Except we’ve got to talk about the OA plan,” Ethan said reasonably.
Gunner pointed to a car pulling along the road and then waved at it. “And here’s the guy we need to do just that. His name’s Keegan.”
“And he knows about the OA how?” Ethan asked.
“He was once a member,” Gunner said, and Key turned his attention to the guy with the short hair dyed a white blond. The look worked for him, making him appear more rock star than rocker-wearer. “Still is, actually, and if they ever find him, they’ll kill him,” Gunner announced, then turned to Avery. “Is there cake inside? He likes cake.”
“Wait—you invited an OA member here?” Ethan asked.
“Former,” Gunner emphasized. “Trust me, Keegan’s got way more to lose than we do. He also knows Drea, but he doesn’t know that she’s part of this team, or that she’s here.”
“I’ll make sure she doesn’t come down,” Avery added, and disappeared upstairs.
Brave woman, Key thought. Even though the yelling was over upstairs, he wouldn’t walk into that.
“He’s got no current MC ties?” Ethan asked Gunner.
“He’s been living and working in conjunction with another MC, not a one percenter club, but he’s not a member. S’all I know, and all I want to know,” Gunner said firmly. “He doesn’t owe me anything more than that.”
“So why is he doing this?” Ethan persisted.
“You really need to control everything?” Key muttered.
Ethan shot him a look, but it was more of a lazy, heavy-lidded one than an angry one. “Control is what I do.”
Key looked away, hoping no one else caught the slight taunt—and it appeared no one’s mind was anywhere as dirty as his was. When he looked back up, Ethan was no longer looking at him, but the damage was done. Key wouldn’t stop thinking of the words Ethan and control together for a long time.
God, he hated this guy. And he still did, half an hour later, when he was sitting across from him at the kitchen table. They were all there—minus Drea—along with Keegan. Some of them were in chairs dragged in from the dining room, others, like Dare and Grace, were planted along the countertops.
Jem had come downstairs, looking disturbed. He’d sat between Key and Avery, and accepted the double shot of whiskey Avery slid in front of him. Key tossed him a pack of cigarettes and Jem wasted no time in lighting one up.
And then Key focused on Keegan, who was an open book with them as he said, “When Gunner called about Drea, I had no problem making the trip.”
“Why’s that?” Ethan asked.
Key fought the urge to kick him under the table and Ethan slid his eyes Key’s way and smirked.
Keegan didn’t mind the suspicion. In fact, he seemed all too used to it. “Gunner relocated me after I decided to split from the OA—that’s why.”
“To where?” Ethan persisted.
“Carolina.”
“Which?”
“Carolina,” Keegan said evenly. Even Ethan had to understand why he was understandably cagey, but in case he didn’t, Keegan offered, “I’m a refugee from the OA, and I’m considered a traitor, man. I don’t just hand over information on my new life.”
“Did you betray the OA?” Grace asked, her question innocent.
Keegan turned his head toward her. “No, ma’am. Not in the sense you’re thinking. But in the OA’s mind-set, anyone who leaves the club is considered a traitor unless they ask permission to leave. And that doesn’t happen, because permission is never granted, not without considerable pain. They’ll cut or burn the OA tat off your back—cover-up ink doesn’t count. So being let out just didn’t work that way, you know? You’re in for life, or you’re killed trying to get out. That’s something I didn’t consider when I met the club—I was young and hell, they were more family than mine had ever been.”
God, his story could’ve been any one of theirs. Except Ethan, the rich boy’s, because he most definitely had been born with the proverbial silver spoon. Even though rich kids could be abused as easily as poor ones, Key didn’t get that read from him.
And really, he needed to stop trying to read Ethan and concentrate on Keegan instead.
“I was there the night Gunner covered his tattoos,” Avery added, and Keegan nodded in her direction.
“Gunner did me a solid. I’ve got no problem returning the favor.” Keegan’s comment seemed to be directed at Ethan. “I think your best bet is to leak any damaging OA information to Vipers. Vipers don’t get along with the OA—can’t put their charters anywhere near each other without a fucking war. But if Vipers knew where Danny had hidden his XO and a couple of his other guys, Vipers would be interested in taking a trip to gather them up.”
Gunner’s karmic favor to Keegan had paid them out in spades.
“So start a war and let them kill each other,” Ethan mused.
“Vipers isn’t a one percenter,” Keegan explained. “The OA fucked with them big-time, killed a couple of Vipers, then hid the guys responsible. Some Vipers went to jail—OA framed them, and hell, I wasn’t let in on those details. But Vipers would definitely be interested in some revenge.”
“So we give them intel on what Danny’s doing,” Jem broke in gruffly. “We leak what I learned from my conversation with Dirk—we keep Dirk and Carole’s identities private—and give the location of these OAs to Vipers. Do we know where those OA guys are?”
“Yeah. They were assigned to watch Drea—they used to hang around that last clinic place she worked,” Keegan said.
“For a guy who’s out of the OA, you get a lot of information on them,” Ethan pointed out.
Keegan narrowed his eyes. “Shit like that keeps me alive.”
“These OA guys,” Key broke in. “Does one of them have four teardrops on his right cheek? Bald?”
“One of them, yeah. The other’s got a dragon right here.” Keegan pointed to his neck.
Key glanced at Jem and nodded. “Those are the same ones I fought outside the motel room last year—the ones who were circling for Drea.”
“That’s a start,” Jem said. “It’ll be two down and how many to go?”
“You don’t think you can take out the entire club, do you?” Keegan asked.
“Yes,” Jem answered simply, and Key groaned out loud.
Keegan just shook his head. “Not happening, man. First of all, no one’s in the same place at the same time. Done purposely. Word of one guy getting kidnapped or killed, the rest go into lockdown. They’ve got friends in other clubs to hide them. Old ladies to lie for them … and to let themselves die for their men.”
“Sounds like a bad country-western song,” Key said. “Jem, scale back on the plans of world domination, all right? Keegan, if we take out Danny and his main men, will the OA give a shit about Drea?”
“I don’t see why they would. Danny’s spouting off to any OA who’ll listen that Drea’s testifying against all of them. But if they find out she’s only testifying against them because he’s framing her, they’ll leave her alone if she leaves them alone. Shit, I’ve known Drea since she was fifteen. She’s a sweetheart,” Keegan said. “I mean, the OA always need docs and drugs, but it’s not like they were getting drugs from her. She cleaned a few bullet wounds, but she was living out in the middle of nowhere, so that chapter never got a lot of activity.”
“How many guys are we talking about in that particular chapter?” Jem asked.
Ethan counted. “It’s set up under Danny, who leads it from New York. Out there, he’s got an LT, a sergeant at arms and two enforcers. Plus a best friend who’s a major player in the drug trade.”
“That chapter happens to be making a run to New York this week—semiannual meeting. Just five of them, but still, the LT and the head enforcer, the ones Vipers are interested in, will be there,” Keegan said definitively. “Like I told Gunner when he called, I’m sure Vipers’ll be happy to get some extras.”
Key sat back and nodded. Jem looked discontented, and Key knew his brother was out to seek and destroy anything and everything OA to put Drea’s mind at ease, but fuck, they had to be smart. Because there was no telling what the hell could pop up in the future.
And that was the kind of shit that�
�d always unsettled Jem. Jem would rather wipe out all the motherfuckers in the world, just in case.
Key would rather leave something to do for tomorrow. “It’s good, Jem.”
“Suppose it’ll do.” Jem glanced at Keegan. “You coming with us?”
“Not showing my face, but yeah, I’ll come to make sure you point out the right guys,” Keegan agreed.
Gunner gave him a firm pat on the shoulder. “Shaping up nicely, Keegan. Glad to see it.”
“Don’t thank me until my information pans out,” Keegan said seriously. “Then I expect another tattoo.”
Chapter Thirty-one
After their big blowout, Drea and Jem declared a truce. He’d come upstairs to gather her and her things for their drive to New York, with a caravan of the others’ cars following them.
She was good at pretending things were okay, especially when they were pretty damned shitty. Apparently, Jem had that gift as well, although they were making light conversation when needed, staying away from discussing what would happen once they got to New York.
Thankfully, the radio filled the silences. Just being back in upstate New York made Drea tense and quiet. There were too many memories here, and too many of them weren’t good. She couldn’t even focus on the early days with Danny, because as good as they’d been, she’d always know what they turned into.
Hell. And she’d moved from one hell in her own home into another with Danny. Her escape had been nothing short of miraculous, but having the OA and their threats to hurt her medical career, to cause her bodily harm so she’d be dependent on Danny again … that all hung heavily on her.
Now she had someone—more than one someone—on her side. Firmly. And she trusted them to take the OA out of her life for good. The price would be traveling with a group of mercenaries … and becoming something of one herself.
“Honey, the only difference between you and them is training and real-time experience. If you’re willing to put in the time, if you’re willing to face the danger, you could do what they do. And if you want to just stay in a safe place and be their doctor, they’ll be fine with that too. What’s important is that you’re fine with it,” Carolina had explained to her over the phone last night.
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