They should be almost done by now, Rachel thought. She should have her legs wrapped around him and her back to the wall, yet he demanded more from them and for a moment she succumbed.
Her head went back, just to allow better access to his mouth, his hand slid in her hair and she let her head be held by his palm.
Her eyes closed in bliss as his lips parted on her skin and his tongue found a beating pulse and stroked it. Then he removed his mouth and, still holding the weight of her head in his palm, he met her gaze.
She almost folded over at the lust she saw there.
Her head dropped back a fraction as he removed his hand, and then, without a word, he led her from the lounge to the bedroom.
Rachel’s legs were shaking. She felt wobbly as if wearing heels for the first time. Her mouth was wet and her neck too. She went to undress, but he did not allow it; instead he kissed her down onto the bed. But Rachel only ever did things her way. She loathed the thought of a man on top so she moved from under him and knelt up.
Nikolai leant back against the pillows and refused to be rushed.
She went to take off her dress but was halted by three words. ‘I undress you.’
Rachel wasn’t accustomed to such a delay in proceeding and sat there a little unsure as he undid his shirt and exposed his torso. He kicked off his shoes and socks and her breath seemed to trip her up as he slid off his belt and undid his zipper and then stopped.
‘Come here,’ he said, and he sat up as his eyes told her she would be kissed again.
And she wanted his kiss.
Again.
Rachel chose to indulge him.
She sat on his thighs so her head was higher than his. He lifted her dress and positioned her so she could feel his erection against her naked sex.
He got back to her neck and this time her hands were the ones holding his head, knotting her fingers in his thick hair and giving into the pleasure of his deep slow kiss as her sex ached to be filled.
He sat up a little so that his head was on the headrest and the pillows supported his shoulders. Now she wanted more of this slow kiss and it was her mouth that chased him.
He lay, kissing her back, still slowly, as she moved her body provocatively over his, with only their mouths touching.
He demanded her tongue and suckled it and then when she offered hers he stroked the outside of her thighs as he kissed her deep.
Now she had to taste him, not his mouth but his skin. Nikolai’s shirt was open and she slid down his body and took her time to run her fingers over his wide chest and down his strong arms. She revelled in the feel of his skin and then she tasted. Salty, delicious, she took her time to relish him, offering tiny teasing bites followed by deep sucks to his nipples.
His moan as she moved down told her he was struggling now to be patient. His erection was huge and she lingered to feel him as she stripped him of his bottom half.
Warm and hard, she could not not hold him.
His hand moved to push hers away because he loathed being touched like that.
Usually.
Except he watched the pale hand that had held the order of service, her slender fingers, the coral nail varnish on her nails, and he gave a low curse in Russian—it was not an order to stop.
He watched as her fingers moistened as she built him to near climax.
She could feel his eyes on her hand and they both watched her work and then she halted. She licked her lips and went to lower her head. She wanted to taste him but she was selfish enough to want him inside her so she changed her mind.
‘Tease...’ he said.
‘Am I?’ She smiled and so too did he.
Neither usually smiled during sex—it was necessary rather than intimate—but tonight they did.
Again she went to take off her dress, just to be naked with him, but he shook his head and said it again. ‘I undress you.’
‘Undress me, then.’ It came out like a plea but he ignored it and she watched with her top teeth biting her lip as he slid a condom on.
‘Come here.’
He positioned her over him but even then he took his time. He saw the fire of her sex. It burned brighter than her hair and she shivered as his fingers stroked and explored her. He lowered her down onto him and she let out a moan as he stretched and filled her.
And even as she positioned herself he held her and as she started to move, still he reached for her and demanded her kiss.
He dizzied her. The way he moaned at the pleasure of her rather than demand that she slow down.
The way between deep kisses he looked down and let out another moan as he watched.
Rachel raised herself up and put her hands on his chest and moved faster.
She always called the shots in bed.
But this was no ‘poor boy’ who couldn’t deal with that.
She used him and he let her, but he could be patient when he so chose.
He was heavenly, Rachel thought. She looked down but not at his eyes. She loved the sight of his torso and she loved how his hand held her buttocks but did not guide her. She knew he watched as she closed her eyes and her lips parted, and she knew he must be about to come from the sounds that he made. His hands now took control and he moved her buttocks and guided her to a slower pace and it felt divine to rest her mouth on his as he did.
Her thighs started to tremble and she felt the familiar rush of electricity streak down her spine as she came to him. She let out a sob.
Feeling the grip of intimate muscle, the tight shiver of her body, it took all Nikolai had in him to hold back. Instead, he just moved her slowly over his length until the fire in her slowly died.
Breathless, she knelt, resting her forehead on him, waiting for the sickly trickle of guilt to arrive, and it took her a moment to realise he hadn’t come.
She met his eyes briefly and then there was a slight flurry of panic as she was plunged into darkness as he slid her dress over her head.
She was still coming down from her orgasm as he unhooked her bra and then he lifted her from him. He rolled them and she found herself on her back but resisted when he came over her. Nikolai read the small tussle and instead he lay on his side.
Rachel did not face him.
She lay staring at the ceiling, feeling him turned on beside her and planning how he would take her.
She wanted it over, yet her body thrummed in anticipation. He lifted her legs so they came over his thighs and he hooked into her and took her side on.
Rachel had never had sex like this. She was on her back but not beneath him, just exposed to his hands.
One hand roamed her breasts and stomach as he took her. The other was under her neck, his fingers in her hair as he kissed her ear.
She started to arch and his hand on her stomach pressed her down as he drove into her.
It was bliss, to be taken but not crushed, to be so relentlessly kissed and explored.
Now his finger probed her clitoris and her thighs started to ache and Nikolai moved faster.
He said something in Russian and as he moved harder within even her chin seemed to shiver.
His large hand moved to her inner thigh and held her wide open as he drove in, yet his mouth on the side of her neck was soft and sensual.
‘This...’ Rachel said, even if it made no sense, but she lay there arching as she felt the delicious final swell of him. And she shouted it again as she started to come, but it was from the inside this time. It was a deep drag and tightening that made her hand move down to hold herself from the onslaught. He gave her no escape or pause, though. Nikolai shot into her, over and over, his head pressed into hers, his hand over hers, where she held her sex. And they both lay there as they faded. More confusing for Rachel was that he kissed her down from a place she had never been.
She glimpsed tenderness she had never known and just for a moment she glimpsed something else—a couple in bed, both breathless, both sated.
And no shame.
The air now felt cool and Nikolai kicked down the bedding and then pulled it over them. Now came the part that Rachel dreaded—Nikolai turned off his bedside light and then stretched over her body to do the same on her side.
‘Leave it on,’ Rachel said.
‘It’s too bright.’
His response was not dismissive, it was natural, normal and adult.
The light was switched off and the room plunged into darkness save the beam of light from the lounge area.
Rachel didn’t know how to share the fact that she was terrified of the dark. It would only lead to more questions. And how could she tell Nikolai that she dared not go to sleep with a man beside her? Rachel could feel his hand gently roaming her body but, as nice as it felt now, if he did that while she was asleep, it might jolt her awake with a scream.
The oddest thing for her was that, for the first time in her life, she almost felt as if she could tell him. He was such a calm and assured person and she also knew a little of his past. But that wasn’t what tonight was about. He had already told her he would be on his way soon. It was better just to pretend to be asleep and to make it through the night. She could feel that Nikolai was awake beside her.
Their lovemaking had left her sated and exhausted and she had to fight not to close her eyes and give in to the sleep that beckoned her.
He could feel her awake beside him and he got up and went through to the lounge. He was about to turn out the light when he saw his jacket on the floor and the store label seemed to taunt him as he remembered the plans he had made to get through the wedding unnoticed.
Now he had promised to stay until Sev returned from his honeymoon. He knew that soon the questions would start and the truth would come out.
The past had finally caught up with him and he wanted it back where it belonged.
And then another stinging thought occurred—she would find out too. Today and tonight had been amazing and soon it would be spoiled when she discovered the truth.
He had never had to deal with this—a lover knowing.
And what a lover.
It would be bad enough telling his friends and seeing the distaste in their eyes and answering difficult questions.
But Rachel?
Yuri would say he was running from things, hiding things, and that wasn’t Nikolai’s way at all.
Yet at four in the morning he went into the bedroom and picked his clothes up from the floor and dressed.
‘Rachel...’ His voice was not as measured as he preferred, instead he had to clear his throat, but she lay there pretending, Nikolai was sure, to be asleep.
He didn’t say her name again—he just collected his belongings and was gone.
As the door closed behind him he was almost tempted to knock, and say what? That he’d locked himself out or...?
No, better she thought him a bastard than for the truth to come out, he thought as he stepped out onto dark London streets.
Nikolai had thought he had long ago dealt with his past.
It would seem he had been wrong.
CHAPTER FIVE
RACHEL HEARD THE door close behind him and rolled to her side and turned on the side light.
Bastard!
She lay back on the pillow, telling herself that she shouldn’t have expected anything more from him. It had been just about sex after all. And yet, when he had held her hips and slowed her down, when he had silently insisted on eye contact she had felt connection. It had been the first time she had almost trusted her body to another. She had handed herself over to him and she had glimpsed how it felt to let go and relax into another’s embrace.
Now she felt hollow and empty and ashamed of herself.
She tried not to beat herself up about it—told herself that there had been no one, apart from André, for years, but Nikolai’s silent departure cheapened what had taken place.
It was a restless sleep that followed and Rachel woke to the bleep of her phone and read the text.
A girl!
There was a photo attachment and Rachel looked at a huge white blanket with just a tiny red face peeking out. She was finally here.
So beautiful! Congratulations!!! Does she have a name?
Rachel texted her message and then awaited the response.
Not yet.
As Rachel texted to say that she would be in this afternoon at visiting time she was surprised to find that she was crying. They were happy tears, she told herself, except it didn’t feel like they were. She was happy for her friend and thrilled that the baby had arrived safely, yet lying alone in the vast bed, missing a man she had only just met, served to expose the mess of her own life.
And it was a mess, she thought.
A hot mess and there was no escaping that fact.
She had just walked out on her career without much thought for the future and now she’d had a one-night stand with a man who came and went—literally.
Rachel had seen a psychologist once in an effort to address her murky past and she hadn’t liked what she had heard—women with histories similar to hers tended to go one of two ways, she had been told. They were either mistrusting of men or promiscuous.
This morning Rachel felt as if she had achieved both.
So instead of using her late check-out and languishing with breakfast in bed, Rachel stuffed her hair into a cap. The tears that had started kept flowing. It had been such a long time since she’d cried and tears were only ever shed in private.
Even as she got dressed and packed up her overnight bag the tears would not stop. Then, as she did a final sweep of the room, there, under the chair where he had taken off his jacket, were his sunglasses.
They were a saving grace because at least she could cover her eyes as she checked out, but tears kept trickling from beneath them.
Damn Nikolai!
Why had he had to kiss her like that? Why had he had to look deep into her eyes and demand more from her than she usually gave?
It felt like the stopper had been pulled on her emotions, Rachel thought as she took the Underground home. Every feeling she kept so carefully hidden, every emotion that she guarded seemed to have been shaken loose by last night. It wasn’t just him, Rachel told herself as she stepped into the house. It was her career, it was her cousin’s wedding and also seeing Libby a mother.
Something that would surely never happen to her.
She couldn’t even manage a successful relationship let alone imagine raising a child. Anyway, wasn’t it children who were scared of the dark?
Not their mother.
Home provided little solace. Once she had lived for lazy Sundays when there had been no performance to prepare for, no class or practice. It had been the one day when her body could recover from the rigours of the week, a day when she could lie in bed and catch up on some sleep.
This Sunday, though, was spent trying to soothe her swollen eyelids with tea bags and then getting ready to go and visit Libby. Rachel had to somehow prepare to be her usual bright, bubbly self.
She erased her freckles with that amazing foundation, though it didn’t work its necessary magic with the tip of her red nose. She did what she could to play down her swollen eyes and then added a double dose of coral lipstick. She chose to wear her favourite willow-green wraparound dress. Initially she tried it with nude flats then changed her mind and opted for heels instead, just to bolster her confidence.
She pushed out a smile in the mirror and saw the horrible gap in her front teeth.
Tomorrow she was going to make an appointment for braces, Rachel decided and then recalled Nikolai’s words. ‘Why would you ruin such an ama
zing mouth?’
She recalled their long, slow flirtation and how easy he had been to talk to. How she’d told him about her idea for a blog and he hadn’t laughed. Instead, he had made suggestions.
Rachel wished, how she wished, he hadn’t been so good.
She stopped at the hospital gift shop and bought a large bunch of flowers along with a little pink balloon. She would buy the baby a proper present this week but for now she headed through the corridors of the private hospital towards the maternity wing. As she entered Rachel stiffened when she saw that André was speaking with the receptionist. He turned as she made her way over and shook his head.
‘Libby’s not taking any visitors,’ he said to Rachel.
‘Oh!’ Rachel looked at the receptionist. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘I believe everything’s fine. I’ve just got her marked here as not to be disturbed.’
Rachel stood for an uncomfortable second, wondering if she should explain that they were very close friends but not sure of the difference that might make. Then she understood the visitor ban as she glanced down the corridor and saw some of her troupe heading in. Poor Libby! It was Sunday so every dancer who knew her would be squeezing a visit in today.
‘Could you pass these on to her?’ Rachel said, and handed over the flowers.
‘Of course.’
She turned to go but André caught up. ‘Hey, wait,’ he called, and Rachel wished she could put up a little ‘do not disturb’ sign of her own.
Very deliberately she stopped her shoulders from stiffening and forced a smile before turning around.
‘I just heard the news that you’ve left.’ André made his way over to her. ‘I’m shocked. We all are. You gave no hint—’
‘When would I have, André?’ Rachel asked. ‘During one of our deep and meaningful conversations? Oh, that’s right, we never had them.’
‘You’re upset about Shona...’
‘No.’ Rachel shook her head.
Yes, she was.
But not for the reasons he thought—André had merged her worlds and she loathed that he had.
‘You are,’ he insisted. ‘I never took you as being jealous...’
Billionaire Without a Past (Irresistible Russian Tycoons) Page 6
