“I’m not leaving,” Landon snapped, his temper flaring. “I’m here for Bay. This entire situation has nothing to do with you … which is what I would’ve told you if I could’ve returned any of the fifty nasty calls you made to me. My voice mail was full of hate, by the way. I really appreciate that.”
Thistle was unbothered by his tone. “I’m glad you got the message.”
Something occurred to me. “Wait … what?” I shifted my eyes to Thistle. “You called him? You’re the one who told me not to call him.”
“I know that.” Thistle didn’t bother denying her actions. “You calling him was pathetic – and you were already pathetic enough. Me calling him was not only allowed, it was encouraged. He needed to know that he was a hateful bastard.”
“I see.” I traced my bottom lip with my finger, my emotions jumbled. “I didn’t know she called you.” I found the strength to meet Landon’s steady gaze again, although he appeared taken aback by my resolve. “I’m sorry. That was unfair.”
“Do you feel the same way about making me smell like garbage?”
I shook my head. “No. You definitely had that coming.”
Despite the serious nature of the situation, Landon forced out a laugh and shook his head. “There you are.” The words were almost a whisper. He smiled for a moment before recovering. “Bay, will you please go for a ride with me so we can talk?”
Four days ago I would’ve jumped at the offer. Heck, I would’ve jumped him before showering his bearded face with kisses. Now I felt disconnected from him, separate from the relationship we were building, and I didn’t fully understand how it happened. “I have things to do.”
“Bay.” Landon wet his lips, his eyes glassy. “I know you’re upset, but … .”
It took everything I had not to explode. The last thing I wanted was to cause a scene. I could see Mrs. Little, the town busybody, sticking her head out the door of her store and watching for potential fireworks. “I’m not even sure I’m upset,” I admitted, choosing my words carefully. “Four days ago I was upset. Two days ago I was manic.”
“I can vouch for that,” Thistle muttered. “I didn’t think you’d stop crying … like ever.”
Landon made a face as he tilted his head to the side. “Can’t you please spare a few minutes to talk to me? I know this is payback for what I put you through, but we can’t begin to move forward until you let me apologize.”
“Is that what you want? To move forward, I mean.”
Landon balked. “Of course. I … what have you been thinking?”
I shrugged, noncommittal. “I’ve been thinking a lot of things.”
“Yeah? Well, I’ve been missing you with everything I’ve got for a month.” Landon held out his hand. “Come for a ride with me.”
I stared at his hand a moment, torn. I kept thinking that this was the big moment I’d been fantasizing about and I should answer his lack of interest in my feelings with a dramatic scene, perhaps storming off and making him chase me. Deep down inside, hidden in a part of me I didn’t want to admit existed, I worried he wouldn’t follow me.
“I … .”
“Bay, I need to spend some time with you,” Landon prodded, shaking his hand for emphasis. “Come on now. I think I’ve earned a few minutes alone with you.”
I made my decision quickly, nodding as I skirted his hand and headed toward the Ford Explorer parked in front of the police station. “Fine. Five minutes.”
Landon worked his jaw, his hand still stretched in my direction. Finally he dropped his hand and shifted his eyes to Thistle. “We’re going to talk about those messages you left.”
Thistle’s derisive snort promised mayhem should Landon dare take her on. “You have bigger problems than my messages. You might want to pay attention to Bay instead of me. Of course … you’re out of the habit of doing that, so it might take some time for you to remember.”
“Oh, I remember how to do it,” Landon shot back, annoyance bubbling to the surface. “I dreamed about it every night for the past month. Trust me. I could never forget.”
LANDON WAS quiet during the ride to Hollow Creek. He knew about the location because we’d visited a time or two over our year together – twice solving cases on its uneven banks. Because it was October the area was vacant, the trees dropping leaves rapidly. I knew he didn’t care about that, though. He simply wanted a place where he could be assured we wouldn’t be interrupted.
“Bay.”
I could feel his eyes on me as I stared out the passenger window. “I don’t know what to say to you.”
“I know, and that hurts.” Landon reached over and grabbed my hand, refusing to let me yank it away from him. “I’m sorry.”
My eyes burned, but I managed to hold back tears as I faced him. “What are you sorry for?”
Landon’s eyes flashed, as if he thought it was a potential test, and he opened his mouth to answer before snapping it shut.
“It’s not a trick question,” I prodded. “I honestly want to know what you’re sorry about.”
“I’m sorry for being gone so long,” Landon offered. “I know it was hard on you … and unfair … and painful. But I’m here to make things right.”
“I see.” I studied his face for a moment, the beard irritating me beyond belief. “Are you suddenly done with your assignment?”
“I … don’t … know.” Landon forced out the words. “I’ve turned over the information I gathered to my superiors. I’m not part of the current operation, which is supposed to be carried out this afternoon. That doesn’t mean I won’t get called back at a certain point, but if everything goes as planned my part in this is finished.”
“Is that why you still have the beard?”
Landon grinned as he rubbed his cheek. “Not a fan, are you?”
“I almost didn’t recognize you.”
“That’s the point of being undercover.”
“Then you opened your mouth and I definitely didn’t recognize you,” I added.
“Bay, I’m sorry about that, but what did you expect me to do?” Landon’s frustration bubbled over. “I wasn’t expecting to see you there. I didn’t handle things well – you have no idea how shocked I was when I saw you – but I was worried Aunt Tillie would say something stupid, and I panicked.”
“Yeah, I worried she’d say something stupid, too,” I admitted, snatching my hand back. I didn’t miss the sad look on Landon’s face when I put emotional distance between us. “I didn’t even want to go there. Aunt Tillie insisted, though. She wanted to buy a new plow.”
“It’s a free world, Bay. You can go wherever you want. I’m not angry because you showed up. It’s not as if you planned it. Now, if your plan to follow the spinning ball of light had worked and you ended up in the middle of my case, then I would’ve been angry.”
“We were going to wait until you were alone.”
“That still would’ve been too dangerous,” Landon countered.
“Of course, I wasn’t sure you’d ever be alone,” I said. “I thought maybe your friend Becky was making sure you never felt lonely.”
Landon’s shoulders stiffened, his expression incredulous. “Excuse me?”
I ignored his tone. “You two seemed tight.”
“Do you have something you want to ask me, Bay?” Landon’s voice was chilly. “You can’t possibly believe that I cheated on you with Becky, that something was going on between us.”
“Only in my absolutely worst moments,” I replied. “The problem is, I’ve had a lot of those over the past month. My entire family is sick of me. They think I’m a pathetic whiner. I’m starting to agree with them.”
“Bay, it was a tense time,” Landon pointed out. “We weren’t expecting it and we didn’t need to deal with it before because I hadn’t been undercover in a year. But it’s over. Can’t we just go back to the way things were?”
Now it was my turn to be dumbfounded. “Are you serious?”
“Last time I checked.”
“You just want to go back to the way things were?”
Something flitted through Landon’s eyes, something I couldn’t identify. For one brief moment I thought it was fear. He recovered quickly. “You don’t?”
“I don’t know what I want,” I answered, my heart painfully twisting. “I sat by the phone that entire night waiting for you to call and … you didn’t. I thought for sure you would find a way to call but … you didn’t.”
“I was undercover, Bay!” Landon exploded, causing me to jerk my shoulders as I sniffled. “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry.” He held up his hands immediately. “I promised myself I wasn’t going to yell. I … you don’t deserve that. This entire thing got out of hand.”
He was right. Still, I couldn’t help the growing hurt taking me over given his blasé attitude. “You didn’t even consider calling me, did you?”
“That is not true,” Landon countered. “I worked really hard to find a window to call you. I saw the look on your face, Bay, and I never want to be the person to put that expression there. I am sorry I hurt you.
“In case you didn’t notice, Becky and Doug were suspicious of our interaction, and it only had a little to do with the fact that Aunt Tillie stared at me as if she was the parent and she already had the switch ready for my punishment,” he continued. “They saw the way I looked at you, Bay. Both of them did, and they suspected something. I had to be extra careful.”
I wanted to believe him, yet I wasn’t sure I could. “They seemed normal to me. In fact, Becky seemed eager to spend time with you, allowing Doug plenty of room to put his grubby hands on me.”
“And you don’t think that was a test?” Landon’s eyebrows rose. “Bay, they wanted to see how I’d react. Trust me. They were suspicious.”
My stomach burned because I wanted to trust him so badly. Instead, all I could do was press my eyes shut and rub my hands over them.
“Bay, you have to know that I love you more than anything,” Landon prodded. “I had to keep you safe. I couldn’t risk contacting you when they were watching me so closely. Their attention to my actions is one of the reasons I got pulled out a day early.”
I jerked my head in his direction, surprised. “I don’t understand. What does that mean?”
“I can’t tell you the specifics, sweetie. Suffice to say, Doug and Becky are not good people. I didn’t want them focusing on you. I had to do my very best to keep them focused on me.
“But that didn’t completely work, and Steve managed to pull me out while keeping my cover intact,” Landon continued, referring to his boss Steve Newton. “I probably won’t have to go back, but I don’t want to make that promise in case the unthinkable happens.”
“So … what? You’re home for good now?”
“I hope so.”
“I see.”
Landon scowled. “Is that not enough for you? Do you want me to beg or something?”
The idea held merit, but that was pretty far from what I wanted. “Actually, I simply want to feel important.”
“You are important! You’re the most important thing in my world.”
“And yet you couldn’t bother to call.”
“Bay, you’re killing me,” Landon muttered, dragging his hand through his hair. “This is not the homecoming I dreamed about.”
I stared at him a moment, frustrated. “Join the club. Now, if you would take me back to town, I have work to do.”
Landon was incredulous. “Excuse me? We’re not done here.”
“I imagine we’re not, but that doesn’t change the fact that I have an interview scheduled,” I said. “You were away for a month doing your job. Mine should take only an hour or two.”
“This is a test or something,” Landon muttered, putting the Explorer into reverse. “There can be no other explanation.”
“You might try shaving while I’m working,” I suggested, crossing my arms over my chest.
“I can’t shave until I’m sure I won’t have to go back,” Landon snapped. “I’m sorry you don’t like the beard, but … there’s not a lot I can do about it.”
“No, I guess not.”
“I don’t like your tone, Bay.”
“Right back at you.”
Six
Thistle and Clove were waiting for me when Landon dropped me off at Hypnotic. We didn’t speak during most of the ride back to town, but when I opened the door to hop out he finally found his voice.
“I’m going to make this right, Bay.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and kept my back to him. “I have work to do.” My voice cracked, and I wanted to punch myself because of it. “I … will talk to you later.”
“You bet you will,” Landon muttered, although he didn’t put up a fight when I slammed shut the door.
I motioned for Thistle and Clove to head toward my car, and they did it without comment or complaint, Thistle shooting Landon a weighted look as he pulled away. My cousins were used to my moods, so they let me collect my thoughts before pressuring me for answers.
Finally I couldn’t take the silence a second longer as I pulled onto the highway that led toward Traverse City. “I’m going back to that place Aunt Tillie and I visited the other day,” I offered. “Barnaby Mill. You guys will like it. I have an interview with the owner. I thought it would make a nice article now that they’ve expanded their offerings. It’s for next week’s edition, but I want to get it out of the way.”
“Okay.” Clove rested her hands in her lap in the passenger seat. “It’s not in Hemlock Cove but it’s close enough to draw interest.”
“That’s what I was thinking. Besides, I’m running out of businesses in Hemlock Cove to highlight.”
“What if Landon’s undercover buddies are hanging out there?” Thistle asked from the back seat.
I shrugged. “Then we’ll simply look like three people out for an afternoon of fun and shopping.”
“I’m still looking for someone to kick in the nuts,” Thistle pointed out. “If that Doug guy is here I can totally point my anger toward him.”
“And I’ll take Becky,” Clove offered.
I didn’t want to smile – it somehow seemed wrong given the circumstances – but I couldn’t stop myself. “You guys always know how to make me feel better.”
Clove sympathetically patted my hand. “That’s what we’re here for.”
“Definitely.” Thistle enthusiastically bobbed her head. “So, what did Landon say?”
“Thistle! We agreed to let Bay tell us when she was ready.” Clove glanced over her shoulder and glared at our cousin. “Don’t push her.”
“You agreed to that,” Thistle clarified. “I want to know what he said.”
I couldn’t blame her for being curious. If Marcus did the same thing I’d be all over him and ready to do battle on her behalf. I, however, merely felt drained.
“He said he was sorry but he couldn’t get away to call because Becky and Doug were suspicious about our interaction.”
“Do you believe him?”
I shrugged. “He’s a trained observer. He probably sees things I don’t. I was so flustered that day all I could focus on was my own feet because I was convinced I was going to trip over them.”
“I can see that.” Clove offered. “He looked upset when he dropped you off. I take it you guys didn’t make up.”
“No. I told him I had work to do and that I needed some time.”
“Do you think that was wise?”
The question caught me off guard. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t need to punish him, Bay,” Clove prodded. “He looks as if he’s punishing himself. He’s clearly sorry.”
“You don’t know that,” Thistle argued. “He may look sorry, but it could be an act.”
“And you don’t know that,” Clove fired back. “I saw the way he looked at Bay. He was in pain. We both know Bay is in pain because she misses him so much. I think she should forgive him and get it over with.”
I did
n’t admit it, but that’s the way I was leaning. Of course, that was partly because it was simply easier to forgive him. The only reason I didn’t is that a small, bitter portion of my heart honestly wanted to make him suffer like I did while he was away. I could never admit that to my cousins. Okay, I could admit it to Thistle. She would encourage it. Clove was another story.
“I think she should kick him a few times and see how many apologies fall out,” Thistle countered. “She should treat him like a human piñata. When she’s sure that he’s really sorry and can’t apologize one more time she can forgive him.”
“That’s not how karma is supposed to work.”
“Oh, that’s where I beg to differ,” Thistle said. “Bay needs to serve up a big portion of karma to Landon so he knows how much he hurt her.”
“If he doesn’t already know that, then he’s an idiot,” Clove said, shifting her contemplative brown eyes to me. “Is he an idiot or does he know?”
That was a very good question and I wasn’t sure how to answer. “He seemed to think we could just slip back into how things were a month ago without any comment or changes.”
“Do you want changes?”
My mind flitted back to my conversation with Aunt Tillie regarding a potential move to Traverse City. I purposely kept that information to myself before spilling my guts to her, but if I admitted I’d been considering it to Clove and Thistle they would both melt down in different ways. I didn’t think I could deal with that today.
“I want him to acknowledge that he did something wrong,” I replied after a beat. “This can’t all be on me. I mean … I know that I acted like an idiot. I know I was immature and whiny. I know that I should’ve sucked it up and been a freaking adult. It still hurt, though, and he should’ve found a way to contact me after it happened.”
“I don’t think that’s too much to ask,” Clove agreed, twirling a strand of her dark hair around her finger. “I think he’s probably beating himself up over it right now, if it’s any consolation. The thing is, Bay, you’re beating yourself up, too. You’re as angry with yourself as you are with him. That can’t be healthy.”
Murder Most Witchy (Wicked Witches of the Midwest Book 10) Page 6
