Today Only

by D. Love

  He pauses for a moment. "I am a zompire!" He roars. Then he does a belly flop right beside me, making my body bounce off the bed, like I’m a popcorn kernel. We lay there, laughing.

  Finally, Jett rolls over facing me.

  "Rye," he says. He’s no longer the zompire but is serious. "You have to know how important you are to me, right?"

  I nod.

  "Rye, you are my breath. Sometimes I feel as though my heart only beats when you’re around."

  He cups my face with his hands and brings his face towards mine. Right before our lips meet, he says, "Rye, I am in love with you. I truly love you, Rye Silcox, with everything that I am."

  I can feel the heat of his breath with every word.

  "Jett, I love you too," I tell him, troubled. "I'm just –" Before I can get the words out, he kisses me.

  He kisses me like a starving man devouring his first meal. Our tongues dance together with the agility and coordination of perfect partners. I wrap my arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer. When he moves away, we are both breathless.

  I hear the back door open, and the sounds of voices. Jett shifts away from me to the chair beside my bed. By the red of his face, he’s remembering this morning, when we got caught making out by Katy.

  I hear Mom tell Mark and Katy to just stay the night here instead of dragging Angie out in the middle of the night. Soon Mom knocks at my door and walks in, a bottle of water in hand. She sits on the side of my bed and reaches for the first of my medications. One-by-one, she opens each bottle and hands me the pills.

  "Rye?" Mom asks when she’s finished. There’s an odd twinkle in her eye.

  "Yes, Mom?"

  "Are you feeling well tonight?"

  "Yes." Recalling Jett’s breakdown earlier, I can’t help feeling guilty for her having to endure this life with me, too. She deserves a life of happiness. "Mom, I am sorry you have to go through this with me. I am sorry I have disappointed you."

  "Oh, my baby girl!" she replies. "I love you. I will never be disappointment that you are my daughter. God chose you for me, and I for you. Never tell me you are sorry again. We were made for each other." She kisses my forehead then gets up to leave.

  My eyes are misty after her declaration. Jett smiles at me warmly. Mom pauses at the door, where Katy and Mark are waiting to say goodnight to me.

  "Jett, you can stay here tonight. Just try and keep your clothes on, please," Mom says casually then walks out.

  Mark and Katy appear in my doorway, laughing.

  "Dude, you have just been served!" Mark exclaims to Jett. He cackles like a witch. I know partially why he finds this so amusing. Mom gave Mark the third degree for months when he and Katy got serious. She’s super protective of her babies. Now, Mark got to see someone else go through it.

  Jett picks up a pillow and throws it at Mark. Just as Mark is about ready to fling it back, Mom yells.

  "Go to bed, kids!"

  We all laugh. If only I could capture that moment in a bottle ... It’s like Mom says: We’re building memories, and tonight is filled with fantastic ones.

  Jett dutifully keeps his pants on, which would make my mom happy but me? Not so much. I sleep through the night and wake up alone. A few moments later, my door opens. Jett is coming out of the shower, just as I climb out of bed. He kneels in front of me, kissing me.

  "Good morning, Rye," he murmurs. "Do you remember?"

  Seeing his hair wet and his bare, muscular chest, the only thing that comes to mind is how sexy he is right now. I have no idea what he wants me to remember, when he’s standing half naked in front of me.

  "I want today only," he supplies. By his smile, I’m pretty sure he can read my mind and the types of thoughts going through it at that moment.

  "Breakfast, kids!" Mom calls cheerfully.

  I give Jett a long, lingering kiss, loving the feel of his warm, soft lips and the strength of his body.

  "Can you tell Mom I’ll be there soon?"

  "Of course."

  Off to the bathroom I go for my morning routine, though I try to hurry today, knowing he’s waiting for me. It’s when I’m getting dressed that I notice the bruising is almost gone. I smile to myself, crediting all of Jett's organic foods.

  Strength comes from fresh foods. He’s told me multiple times.

  I go into the kitchen, happy this morning. Everyone has gathered around the breakfast bar, where Mom is pouring fresh coffee. Mark and Jett are by the stove, arguing over who is going to fry the bacon.

  "Uncle, why don’t you just make toast?" Em shouts at them.

  We all giggle. Poor Mark takes up his new duty with no relish whatsoever. He mumbles in irritation while pulling the bread out of the toaster.

  Breakfast passes much the same way as last night: with talk, laughter and great food. I’m almost sad when Katy and Mark leave to ready for work and Em goes outside to await the school bus.

  "Shelly’s coming by to clean the house today," Mom tells me.

  I say nothing, well aware that Shelly comes here to help take care of me, not to clean the house. In any case, I welcome the company. I’ve had a wonderful couple of days; I don’t look forward to being completely alone with my thoughts.

  Ducking into my room, I grab my pen and paper then head to the backyard.

  Chapter Twelve: Jett

  I arrive at work, unable to get Rye off my mind. Last night was beautiful. The laughter that we shared was exactly what everyone needed, especially following my meltdown in the backyard. Waking up with her in my arms made me feel complete, whole. I have an idea of what I’m going to do to ensure we wake up together for as many mornings as possible.

  I’m about to call Dee and let her know about my intention, when the phone on my desk rings. I listen, my heart quickening, as my sergeant – and boss – tells me that he’s sending me to Kentucky at the end of June for training.

  I can hardly believe my luck. The end of June is when Rye and Dee are going to the book conference in Nashville. Thrilled, I now have two reasons to call Dee.

  An hour later, I hang up with her, my heart swelling. My new mission is more important than any I ever went on in the military. I’m going to make the woman I love officially mine. Almost too excited to contain myself, I call my dad to let him know I’ll be over to see him after work.

  The workday has never seemed longer. I text Rye to ask her what beauty she sees in her life today. As silly as it is, I want Rye to see as much beauty as possible. Sometimes beauty can provide hope, and hope provides strength. It’s the same idea behind Dee wanting to create happy memories for Rye.

  All about mind over matter. Keep her focused on the positive.

  Love. Rye texts back.

  I smile. Where do u c love?

  In u.

  I love you Rye. Stopping by Dad's after work. I tell her.

  K I love u 2 Jett.

  On my way out of work, I drop by the administration office to request days off to go to Kentucky and then I head out of the hospital. It’s a beautiful day in June, warm but not too hot, with a cool breeze that ruffles my flat top. Summers in Maine are as close to perfect as possible.

  I arrive at my father's fifteen minutes later. Dad is outside sitting on the porch when I pull up. I hop out of my truck and take a seat beside him. He seems older now, or maybe, it’s just me who feels older. The years overseas, combined with my days with Rye, have added depth to my life and me. I understand more what Dad might’ve gone through when my mother died.

  "Hi, son," he says. "How is Rye feeling today?"

  "Good, Sir," I reply with a smile.

  "I find it sentimental how, every time you speak about Rye, you always ask for today only."

  "Sir, I wanted to talk to you about something," I start hesitantly. I don’t like the idea of opening old wounds, but I need to know. "I guess I need your advice."

  "Go ahead, son. Start talking," he replies with his typical stoicism.

  I’m grateful to have a dad like mine. He has
always been open and candid with me, even on difficult topics such as this one. With grey just streaking through his jet-black hair, Madison Conner is still a striking man. His blue eyes show the signs of age, but the ladies still fall all over him, especially when he gives his infamous Rock on and winks. I’m happy I got my looks from my dad, that’s for sure. I feel as though I can imagine myself twenty-five years in the future, looking almost identical to him.

  He’s also one of those men who is there when you need him. When there is a crisis, he is the first one to help and is always thinking of others. After losing my mother, he devoted himself to helping others. Whether it was the little old lady down the street who needed her lawn cut or the new father who needed a brake job and couldn’t afford it, my dad was always there to help anyone, without judgment or hesitation. I admire him for this the same way I do Dee, and I’d like to think I try to be like my father in this area.

  My dad and I must have talked for an hour. I tell him about work, about Em’s graduation party and about my intention to ask Rye to marry me. He doesn’t say much about the last part, at least, not until I’m getting ready to leave. That’s when the conversation takes the turn I expected earlier.

  "One minute, son," he says slowly, thoughtfully.

  "Yes, sir."

  "Jett, I want to give you a little more advice."

  "Alright, sir," was all I could say, worried about what he had to say.

  "Jett, you understand you are walking into a life of heartbreak, right?" he asks gravely.

  "Yes, sir," I repeated.

  "I want you to remember that heartbreak that you are walking into already has people in place. Remember not to remove anyone from their positions, son."

  "What do you mean, sir?" I ask, puzzled.

  "What I mean is, remember that everyone has a method to help themselves cope through this tragic circumstance. Whether it’s Dee, reading every night to Rye, or Em, posting notes. Everyone has a coping mechanism to help them survive, until the end. You need to respect that."

  "Sir, with the utmost respect, I haven’t given up hope."

  "Son, there is always an end."

  I get up to leave. My soul hurts, and the pain is physical. My legs shake, and I feel that panicky anger I did the other night. I walk down the porch then stop, turning to see my dad.

  "Sir, how did you make it through this with Mom?" I ask him in a hushed voice.

  "I did what you have chosen to do, live in the here and now," he replies. "I love you, son. I don’t want to see you hurt the way I did."

  "I love you, too, Dad." I remember his pain or at least, what he would show those around him. I’m beginning to believe he hid much more than he let out. I mean, I know how bad I’m hurting now, and for him to be left raising a teenage son on his own …

  I leave, pensive but no less determined to make Rye’s life as happy as I can. I arrive to her house too soon and sit in the truck for a few minutes, dwelling on everything my father imparted. His wisdom is born of experience, yet it makes my heart even heavier.

  A car pulls up, and Dee’s best friend, Sheila, drop off Emily. As the little girl steps out of the car, her face brightens, and she grins, waving and coming towards my truck.

  "Jett!" she says, running to my truck. "We should go for ice cream. I’ve been thinking about ice cream all day."

  I wave at Mrs. Axell. "Sure, let’s run in and tell your mom."

  Emily grabs my hand when I climb out of the truck, as if it’s the most natural thing to do in the world.

  "You look like your mom," I tell her, taking in her beautiful smile.

  She beams with delight.

  We walk into the house, hand-in-hand. Dee and Rye are at the pony wall separating the kitchen from the dining room. By the excited look on Dee’s face, they’re finalizing their plans for the trip to Nashville in a few days. I notice for the first time the writing on the wall above the kitchen entrance.

  Welcome to our Kitchen ~ The heart of our home.

  I’ve never seen a truer saying than this one. Dee’s kitchen is where everyone gathers. The soul of the family, it holds all their secrets, laughter, and pain.

  Em interrupts the conversation between her mother and grandmother by flinging her arms around Rye.

  "Mama, can I go get ice cream with Jett? Please?"

  Rye holds her for a long moment, tenderness on her face. Finally, she rouses herself and glances up at me.

  "Sure!" she says. "If Jett will bring one home for me, too."

  Em jumps up and down, clapping her hands together. I kiss Rye and promise we’ll see her soon – with ice cream in tow. Em takes my hand again and drags me out the door.

  A short time later, we arrive at the Fielder's Choice, the local family ice cream shop. The place is quiet. We walk up to the cash register to order, when a little girl behind us squeals "Emily!" at the top of her lungs.

  We both turn to see a little girl with pigtails flopping around with her agitated movements. She’s smiling and happy. I order as Em talks to her friend. I only half-listen to their cute discussion, until the little girl asks Em about her mom.

  "Today is a good day," Em says proudly.

  I shake my head, thinking today only.

  "Who’s that?" the little girl asks, giggling and pointing to me.

  "That’s my dad," Em said without hesitation. She sneaks a look at me to see if I heard her. The same pink blush crosses her cheeks that Rye gets when she is embarrassed. I step over to Em's friend.

  "Hi. I’m Mr. Conner, Emily's father," I say.

  Em absolutely glows. She hugs me hard.

  Our number is called. We claim our order and find a table. We sit in silence for a few minutes, devouring our ice cream, before Em gazes at me.

  "Jett?"

  "Yes, honey?"

  "Thank you," she says.

  "For what, Em?" I ask.

  "For wanting to be my dad, for making Mama so happy, and for making Nana mad sometimes cause that is funny."

  I laugh. "It’s not very funny for me, when Nana gets mad!"

  We laugh and talk, all the while eating our delicious desserts. We finish, and I clear the table. Em is looking at me again like she wants to ask me something. I wait with a smile.

  "Jett, is Mama going to die soon?" she asks at last.

  I have to sit back down, knocked off balance by the unexpected question. What do I tell this little girl when I cannot even admit the truth to myself? I compose an answer then look her straight in the eye and take a breath. I have a feeling she already suspects the truth, based on the look on her face. I don’t know what Rye and Dee have told her, and I’m not certain how much I should say, either. She’s so young to face death.

  "Em, everyone is going to die," I tell her gently. "No one can say when one dies but Him." I point my finger to the sky. "I can tell you, though, that today should be cherished, because tomorrow is never promised to any of us. Remember, Em, no matter what tomorrow brings us, you and I have each other now."

  With tears starting down her cheeks, Em gets up and throws herself into my arms. I hear someone behind us say something like, Poor soul. It must be so hard on her.

  I want to tell them it’s hard on all of us, but I swear, I’ll protect and take care of Em, no matter what happens.

  We leave the ice cream shop and drive back to the house.

  Chapter Thirteen: Rye

  Mom is beyond excited about the trip to Nashville. She has everything scheduled for our trip. Between phone calls, Facebook messages, and tweets, all her online friends are gearing up to meet each other in real life for the first time. We’re leaving in two days, and I’m seated at the pony wall with Mom, going over last minute details.

  I’m really going to miss Jett. He has become a part of our lives. I keep telling myself it’s only a four-day trip, and I know how much Mom needs this getaway. She’s as giddy as Em was about her graduation party.

  The front door opens. No sooner had Em set foot inside when she rushed o
ver to me and hugged me hard enough that I almost lost my breath.

  "Is everything okay, honey?" I ask.

  "I love you, Mama," she murmurs and snuggles against me. Then she whispers for my ears only. "Jett said he would be my dad."

  I look up at Jett, the most wonderful man in the universe, and mouth I love you. He winks in response.

  Unspoken words can be so powerful. I take Em to her room for our evening routine: grab the pajamas, give her a bath, and then tuck her into bed. I give her a kiss and remind her how much I love her. The process takes about forty-five minutes.

  When I return to the kitchen, I see my mom in her usual spot in front of the computer and assume she’s on Facebook. Jett takes my hand, and we walk to my room.

  We lie down on my bed, with my head on his chest.

  "How was your visit with your dad?" I ask him.

  "Insightful as always," he replies.

  I love his dad. I spent some time with him a few weeks ago, and he’s called every day since then to check on us and make sure we do not need anything. He also fixed our back door the other day. He’s definitely a great man, and I can see where Jett gets both his looks and his good heart.

  I can feel Jett staring at me.

  "Are you alright?" I ask curiously.

  "Yes. Why do you ask?"

  "You’re just staring at me, like your trying to remember something." I secretly know that isn’t the case at all. He was staring at me to memorize my features, so he could always remember me. He tells me how much he has fallen in love with me with a look.

  "I was given a gift, when God brought us together," he whispers.

  I smile and lean in to kiss him. He cups my face in his large hands, kissing with so much emotion, it almost brings tears to my eyes.

  He pulls away too soon for me. "I’ve got to drop by my house. I’ll be back." He kisses my forehead, rolls out of bed, and leaves my room.

  I listen to his footsteps as he walked through the living room, reminding my mom not to forget to read to me.

  "Of course!" She sounds pleased. Mom hasn’t been reading to me much lately, not since Jett has been in our lives. He either stays really late or he doesn’t leave at all. "Do you have everything ready?"