by D. Love
"Yes, I believe so," he replies. "I’ll let you know more tomorrow. I’ll be leaving for Kentucky around the same time you all leave for Nashville."
My heart flips at his words. I leap out of bed and bolt to the living room.
"Jett, you’re going to Kentucky?" I demand.
He walks over and takes my hands. "Yes. I have to go to training in Kentucky. It’s only for a few days, the same days you and your mom will be in Nashville. You won’t have time to miss me." He dazzles me with that sexy grin of his.
I must have looked like I was on the verge of panic, because he pulls me to his chest.
"Everything is going to be fine," he assures me. He plants a purposely wet, loud kiss on my cheek. I giggle. "I love you, Rye. I’ll be back soon."
He gets a pass. I wait until he leaves before I swing around to confront Mom.
"Mom what is going on around here?"
"What do you mean, honey?" she asks, a little too surprised for the emotion to be natural.
"I just feel like something is going on," I say. "Why wouldn't Jett tell me he is to go to Kentucky?"
"Oh, you know, as soon as he got here today, Em stole him away for ice cream. He probably just forgot," she says quickly. "Do you want me to read to you?"
"Hmmm," I reply, not entirely satisfied with her answer. "Sure."
She hurries to my room.
"Mom, while you are getting everything ready, I’m going to the bathroom," I call after her.
I retreat to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I brush my teeth and then start brushing my hair. As soon as I pull the brush through my hair, I notice the huge clump of hair in my brush. There’s more hair in the sink, a lot more. I rake the brush through my hair once more, horrified by how easily it’s falling out. My hands start to shake, and I almost feel faint.
There’s a knock at the door.
"Rye? You coming, honey?" Mom asks. "Is there anything you need?"
"Mom, can you hand me my pajamas, please?" I reply.
"Sure!"
With her distracted, I grab toilet paper and ball up the clumps of hair before throwing them in the trashcan.
Mom knocks on the door again. "Rye, here are your jammies, honey."
I open the door and accept the outstretched clothing.
"Rye? Is there something wrong, honey?"
"No, Mom," I answer. There is no way I’m about to burden her with this now, not before the Nashville trip. She needs it too much. "I’ll be right there."
I leave the bathroom and snuggle into my bed. First she hands me all my pills and then a bottle of water. I take them all and down the rest of the water. Mom starts rolling up my shirt to connect the I.V.
"Mom, have you seen Emily's closet?" I ask her.
"Yes, honey, I have."
"Why didn't you tell me about it?"
"Well, honey, it’s Emily's way of dealing with everything," Mom replies. "I won’t violate her privacy."
"It doesn't worry you?" I ask.
"No, it does not, Rye. It is her own special way of being forced to deal with this."
I gasp at her words. They’re harsher than any I’ve heard her speak.
"That’s not the way I meant to say it," Mom says quickly. "Once you get better, it’ll always remind her to value time with you."
I’m not sure what to say and finally manage a mumbled, "Okay."
She didn’t mean to hurt me with her words, but she kind of did. Not only that, but I can’t believe she still thinks I’ll get better one day. I’m wondering if she sees the same woman that I do in the mirror, one who is deteriorating every day.
Mom begins reading to me, as if we aren’t talking about my death. I love her soothing, soft voice. Before I know it, I am falling asleep but with a very heavy heart tonight.
Waking up to the warm sunshine streaming into my room feels so good. My curtains are open and the sky outside my window clear and blue. Today is going to be a wonderful day. Mom doesn’t want anyone to have to drive us to the airport in the middle of the night. So, we are leaving this evening for New Hampshire to spend the night. From there we will catch an early flight to Nashville the following morning.
Mom pokes her head around my door. "Breakfast is ready!"
I throw my housecoat on and start to walk out of my bedroom when I see the note on my desk.
My Dearest Rye,
Sorry I had to leave before you woke up. I have to take care of a lot of things today. Please remember to find your beauty today. I will be back by 6 pm to leave. I love you.
Jett
P.S You snore
"Really?" I stomp my foot like a three-year-old. "No, I do not!"
I fold the note and slide into the top drawer of my desk. I walk to the kitchen, reveling in the smells. There is nothing better in the world than smelling fresh-brewed coffee, except maybe bacon cooking. I sit down on the bar stool and accept the cup of coffee that Mom passes me, along with a plate filled with bacon and eggs.
"Mom, where is Em this morning?" I ask.
"Sheila came by and picked her up for play practice," Mom replies then starts reading the newspaper.
"What are we doing today?"
"Well, I need to run to the store and pick up a couple things for our trip. Do you want to do something?" she asks.
"No, Mom," I respond. "I’ll just stay here and pack my suitcases."
"Are you feeling okay?"
"Yes. I just want to relax a bit," I tell her. I finish my coffee and breakfast then load my dishes in the dishwasher. I return to my bedroom.
I pick out my clothes for the day. After my shower, I walk to the mirror. How can I have a tumor when I look so normal? Other than some of my hair falling out, nothing major about my appearance indicates how sick I am. On the inside, I feel weak, and often, my body is sore. Sometimes, I find myself believing the doctors were wrong. Or, at least, hoping they were wrong.
Frustrated, I step away from the mirror and choose clothes for my trip. Mom thinks all we need is cowboy hats and underwear. I know the weather is much hotter there than here in Maine. I pack a few sundresses, shorts and tank tops. I grab my sandals, a pair of tennis shoes and my house shoes then toss them into the shoe tote. Months ago, we went shopping for our gowns for the awards ceremony. Those are already packed in a garment bag and had been for weeks.
Helping Mom pick a gown was horrible. Every dress had a reason it wouldn’t work. Her arms were too fat, her legs had too many varicose veins, her stomach would bulge, and so on. I finally told her just to buy duct tape to help hold it all in place. She didn’t laugh at that, but I still do.
I grab a couple sweaters out of my dresser, just in case I get cold in the evening. The top drawer is filled with beautiful gifts from my mom's online friends. I have signed books with encouraging notes in them, coffee mugs with book covers on them, fairy dust from an author who writes fairy stories, hope rocks and even a Kindle. I often wonder if they ever realize how much these small gifts really mean to my mom and me.
Once I have everything packed, I zip my suitcase and pull it into the hallway.
"Mom, does Em have all her stuff together and packed?" I yell.
"Yes, but you probably want to check and make sure she didn’t forget anything," she replies.
Silently, I agree. I expect Em’s packed stuffed animals in place of underwear. I walk to her room and spot her suitcase on her bed. I open it and check everything she has.
Impressed, I realize the only thing I need to add is a sweater, in case the evenings are chilly. I find a sweater draped across the back of her chair. My eyes go to the closet door. Mom is right; Em needs her privacy. I pick her sweater up to make sure it’s clean. I love the smell of Em’s clothes; never perfume, just clean and fresh. After I place her sweater in her suitcase, I roll her suitcase into the hallway beside mine.
Em is staying with Mark and Katy, while we are in Nashville. She is so excited about getting to spend time with her Auntie and Uncle, as she calls them. Katy walks
in the front door as soon as I make it back in the living room.
"Hello, everyone," she says and gives everyone a hug and kiss.
"Glad you’re here! I’ve got to take care of last minute errands and will be back soon." Mom looks at us both. "Make sure you eat before you head out."
We go to the kitchen. Katy takes out the chicken and puts it in a pan to boil then starts preparing yellow rice. I take lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers and cheese out of the refrigerator. We spend the time talking about Em and Angie, how big the girls have grown. Katy, of course, thinks Angie is the next Einstein. I giggle about her motherly love. She continues to tell me everything that she and the girls will be doing, while we are gone.
My sister has always been my best friend, even after she got married. Mark owns his own architect company, so he is always working long hours, which allows Katy and me to have plenty of time together. Being a twenty-five-year old with a child changed my social life. My goal was to concentrate on giving my daughter a good, stable life. But having Katy makes things easier. We take our girls to the park for hours. While they played, Katy and I are able to talk about everything going on in our lives. On weekends, we go to the mall sometimes to window shop or have lunch with the girls. The best days are when we stay here and spend time laughing and joking around with Mom.
From across the kitchen, Katy catches my attention, and asks me to grab a strainer for the chicken. I hand it to her then check on the rice. Once we have the chicken and the rice, we sit at the bar and put together our casserole. We shred chicken the way Mom taught us then layer the bottom of a cake pan with yellow rice. Next we spread Miracle Whip on top of that then add a layer of shredded chicken. We repeat the process until we’re out of chicken.
Katy and I are setting the table when Em arrives, smiling. I walk over and greet her with a hug.
"I missed you today, Em," I tell her.
"I missed you, too, Mama," she replies. "Mama, do you know who is going to sing the solo this year?"
I tease her and pretend like I don’t know. Instead, I name some of the students in her class. The more names I rattle off, the more excited she gets. Finally, I act like I’m at a loss as to whom that person might be.
"So, Em, would you like to tell me who got the solo part this year?"
She leaps into my arms. "Me, Mama! I got the part."
"I’m really proud of you, Em," I say and kiss her.
"Congrats, Em," Katy says. She wraps her arms around us, bowling us over. We all fall into a heap.
We are laughing so hard that we don’t notice Mark and Angie arrive, until Angie jumps on top of us.
"I wanna play!" she yells.
Katy and I wrestle around with the girls for a few minutes then get up to continue preparing the dinner.
"Em, can you place the silverware and plates on the table, please?" I ask her.
"Yes, Mama," she replies.
She takes the plates with the silverware and begins setting the table. Mark is standing off to one side, looking a little suspicious.
"What’re you up to?" I ask.
"I have no idea what you’re talking about," he says with a shrug.
First Mom, now Mark. I’m really beginning to think something is going on that I don’t know about. I can’t imagine what, though.
Soon, Mom and Jett arrive within minutes of each other. Jett wraps an arm around me and pulls me to him. He plants a deep kiss on me that would embarrass anyone, especially when it was right in front of Mom.
Chapter Fourteen: Jett
As I walk into the house, the first person to capture my eye is Rye. She’s glowing today. I can’t help myself. I walk over and plant a big kiss on her lips in front of everyone. I’ve never been as infatuated by anyone as I am her. Her smile illuminates my world, and seeing her this happy makes me feel like the most fortunate man that ever existed. I love her, and I’ll do everything in my power to show her how much.
My entire plan is almost together. The timing has to be perfect, and I need to find a way to calm my nerves. I spent the afternoon with Rye's Mom, working out all the details of my big surprise. Dee is definitely an amazing woman. She knew precisely how to make all this come true. I could tell she was very excited about my intention to propose by her enthusiasm in helping me.
Just thinking about Rye becoming my wife makes my nerves go haywire. I feel giddy.
"Let’s all eat!" Dee says. "We’ve gotta leave soon. I want to make sure the kitchen is clean!"
We all crowd towards the table and sit down. Talking stops and we bend our heads to say grace, a must at Dee’s house, before we start eating. Angie builds a mountain out of her rice while singing words that make no sense. She’s a remarkable child, always smiling, and so full of love for her age. The man of the family, Mark is the first to break the quiet.
"You have everything taken care of for the trip, Dee?" he asked.
"I do!" Dee answers
I admire Mark for the love he has for this family and the kindness he’s shown me, a virtual stranger.
"I’m flying with them," I add. "I’m not due in Kentucky until Friday, so I get to sit smack dab in the middle of Dee and Rye on the plane."
Rye cocks an inquisitive eyebrow at me. It’s woman-speak for why is this the first I’m hearing of this?
"My plans just finalized today. I’ll drive to Kentucky the morning after we arrive then head back to Nashville Sunday so I can fly back with them," I finish. My goal was to see them safely there and ease my own anxiety about being away from Rye while at training. If I can see her well situated before I go, I’ll have more peace.
"I’m a little concerned about the airlines giving us problems about Rye's medicine," Dee says. "All the new restrictions in place now at airports are confusing. I’m glad you’ll be with us, Jett. It’s very gentlemanly of you." Her smile grows more relaxed, as if she, too, was worried about traveling.
"You can always dress in your military uniform and pull some strings to get to the head of the line," Mark jokes.
I laugh.
"Mama, you have to bring me back a surprise!" Em chimes in.
"Of course! I wouldn’t dream of returning from a trip without something for my baby," Rye replies.
I’m smiling to myself. Neither Em nor Rye have any idea the surprise I have planned for both of them. We continue eating and talking through dinner. Rye and Dee are beyond excited about the trip, and their spirit is contagious. Mark reminds Dee not to cause trouble with any hunky cowboys and end up locked up in jail. His tease brings a gale of laughter from everyone at the table, even little Angie, who doesn’t know what’s going on but is happy to laugh with us. It also earned him an elbow to his ribs from Katy.
It got quiet a little while later, after dessert. No one moved away from the table, even after everyone was done eating, as if they all knew that leaving the table meant we were all going our own separate ways. It reminds me of when I was younger. I used to try to postpone the next school day by staying awake all night, thinking dawn wouldn’t come, if I didn’t go to sleep.
Seated between her mother and me, Em is clinging to Rye tightly. The others are in their own quiet worlds. From what I know about the family, this weekend will be the first Sunday where they aren’t together for dinner. The only one holding it all together is Dee.
"Alright! Everyone start cleaning up. We’ve got to go soon," she announces cheerfully.
Her voice reanimates those of us at the table. As if on cue, we all rise at once and start collecting the dishes and leftovers. Each of us assumes the duty we normally do on Sundays. I carry dirty plates, and Mark grabs the glasses. The girls fold the tablecloth back up to replace in the linen cabinet, until the next dinner. Giggling madly, Angie throws something at Em. Tonight, it’s rice. Em laughs and tries to dodge every piece. Katy tells Angie not to throw anymore, but that only seems to encourage the little girl to throw more.
I can’t help thinking this is the happiest I’ve ever been. This is my family now, too
, and I love every one of them.
Chapter Fifteen: Rye
I watch Jett as he passes by me to put the dirty dishes in the kitchen. He’s happy but almost seems nervous; he must be worried about leaving us in Nashville. I feel anxious about being apart from him, too. I’ve known him for a few weeks, but it feels like we’ve been together a lifetime.
"Can I help with the dishes?" I ask.
"No, honey, you can go relax," Mom says.
"I really want to help out."
"Alright. You can scrape dishes and I’ll load the dishwasher." She looks at me funny. I imagine she’s remembering the time I cried when I was younger to get out of doing dishes. "Jett, Mark! Load up the car, please!"
Mark will be driving us to the hotel, while Katy takes the girls home to settle them in for the night. I think about leaving Em as I wash dishes. It’ll be the first we have ever been apart. She’s never been to camp or made it a full night at a slumber party and always calls us to come pick her up, because she’s not been able to make it through the night.
When I’m done with the dishes, I go to find her. She’s in her room, crawling on all fours, looking for something.
"What are you looking for, Em?" I ask.
She jumps in surprise, expression distraught. "I can’t find my sweater."
"I packed it for you in your suitcase, honey," I tell her.
Still frowning, she calms some and sits on her bed. I sit down beside her, concerned.
"You okay, Em?" I ask.
"Yes," she says with hesitation.
"It’ll be okay, Em. We won’t be gone long," I reassure her. "I’ll miss you, but we’ll be back in no time."
She latches onto me and starts crying. Immediately, I feel horribly guilty.
"Would you rather I just stay at home with you?" I murmur.
"N…no," she manages to say.
I don’t believe her, but I’m touched by the effort she puts into wearing a brave face.
"I love you, Mama," she says. "Can we Skype, if I start missing you too much?"
"Of course," I reply. "You don’t have to wait till you miss me. We can Skype whenever you want to."
