She was a mother, not perfect but loving. That made his earlier verbal strikes against her almost unforgiveable. “I shouldn’t have taken the shot at you about Callen and not telling him the truth. I don’t understand your choices, but I also didn’t live your life.”
A sparkle lit her eyes. “You’re changing.”
“I doubt it. I’m a bit old for that.”
“No, Walker. You’re never too old to find love, learn news things or turn your life around.” She delivered the comment in a perfect mother tone.
Something about the way she approached him and tough topics had him asking more questions. “Do you ever think about Charlie?”
“Every time I look at the boys. Now when I look at you.” She touched him then. Put her hand on his arm. “I’m sure you don’t want to hear it, but you all resemble him in different ways.”
Her hand stayed on his arm. He shouldn’t have been surprised. She was a toucher. He’d seen it in how she dealt with her boys. Run a hand over Beck’s hair. Pat Declan’s shoulder. Slip her hand over Callen’s.
As someone who grew up without much affection the contact should bug him. From her it no longer did. Not like it used to. But he still wanted to know the one thing he knew might hurt. “Doesn’t that make it hard for you?”
“To what?”
“Love your sons.”
“Oh, Walker. No.” Her hand tightened and her mouth dropped open. Her tone rang with pure horror. “They’re not Charlie. You’re not Charlie.”
From her reaction it was clear she actually believed that. “But you’ve got to admit my gene pool isn’t great.”
“It’s the life you lead that counts.” She gave his arm one final squeeze then dropped her hand. “And, honestly, if Mallory loves you, that’s a pretty big statement.”
The word skidded across his senses. The overwhelming emotion was more than he ever thought possible for him. Something he believed was more fiction than fact. But then he met Mallory.
“I’m not sure she does.” He didn’t know if he even wanted her to. “Why are you smiling?”
“I’ve been through this three times already. I guess I can do it a fourth.”
“You care about my love life?” He barely cared about it, which was obvious by how he fumbled it over and over.
“One day soon I hope you realize that everyone in this family cares about you.” This time she rested both hands on his forearms. A brief touch of motherly affection and then it was gone. “Until then, we’ll love you from a distance.”
That was a big word and this time she aimed it at him. “Love?”
“Yes, Walker. Love.”
Chapter Sixteen
Mallory watched Walker talk with Tom. They stood on the steps to the back porch, each holding a glass but neither drinking. Every few seconds one of them would nod. Tom kept pointing to buildings and trees. Whatever they discussed they managed to keep up a steady stream of conversation.
“You’re staring.” Grace tapped the water bottle in her hand against her open palm. “Not that I blame you.”
“He’s so freaking hot.” Today he went full casual. Faded jeans that rode low on his hips and a half-zip hoodie. Like he stepped right out her fantasies and into the middle of a backyard barbeque at Shadow Hill.
Grace joined in the staring, then she leaned over and whispered. “We’re talking about Tom, right?”
The laughter bubbled up from Mallory’s stomach before she could stop it. When Walker turned to face her, she waved. “He’s cute, too, but Kim would wrestle me to the ground if I made a move.”
“I’d like to see that.”
“Oh, please. Don’t let the pearls and serene expression fool you.” Mallory’s gaze moved to the picnic table. To the woman wearing black pants and a slim sweater. Perfectly put together. Everything in place. “There’s no way that woman raised those boys without being able to win a tussle.”
“No doubt.” Grace unscrewed the lid as Declan and Callen fought over which music should be blaring through the outside speakers. “Callen says she can yell until you want to hide under the bed.”
It took a second for Mallory to tear her gaze away from Walker. Him bending over and picking something up off the ground didn’t help with that. “You mean when he was a kid?”
“Actually, no. I didn’t get the impression Callen was giving me a historical fact.” Grace wiggled her eyebrows. “I’m kind of hoping Kim will teach me those mom skills before the baby arrives.”
Mallory laughed again. She did that a lot lately. All her female friends made her feel connected, and she loved spending time at Shadow Hill.
A flash grabbed her attention. She held out her hand. “Let me see the ring again.” The diamond caught the light. Round and the perfect size for her hands. Callen did great. “Gorgeous.”
Grace stared at her finger. Moved her hand around. “He has good taste.”
“Great taste in women.” Rather than accept Callen’s terms, Grace had waited him out. She didn’t agree to be pushed away but she refused to be a pushover as well.
Grace wrapped an arm around Mallory’s shoulders. “All the Hanover men know how to pick a good woman.”
The gossip train headed right for her. Mallory tried to jump out of the way by sacrificing her best friend. “Leah is certainly all smiles.”
With her head thrown back she danced with Declan. He spun her around and they laughed. Every time she smiled, he did.
Now that was pretty damn cute.
“Nice try.” Grace balanced her head against Mallory’s “I meant you.”
Mallory ignored the kick of longing that landed against her stomach. “I don’t know what Walker and I are doing. He has a few more days to work it out then I start banging heads.”
Grace frowned. “That’s disappointing.”
To Mallory it was the exact opposite. Setting a deadline, even if only she knew it and it stayed in her head, gave her a chance at closure. Not that she wanted to lock Walker out of anything. She’d tried that and failed, as evidenced by her unmade bed.
Good grief, love sucked.
She’d shoved Leah around a bit and remembered telling Grace to force Callen to get his act together, or some other such nonsense. Now, faced with her own stubborn male, Mallory floundered.
Maybe it was men and not love that sucked.
Grace blew out a loud breath. “I’m assuming you’re talking about the emotional stuff because I got the impression Walker was good at the other parts. You know, the fun stuff.”
Oh, that. Yeah, no complaints there. “You have no idea.”
“Well, this is just an informal get together.” As quick as they turned to the topic they turned away again. Grace scanned the small group. “We’ll wait until Sophie and Beck are back to throw a real engagement party.”
Made sense. Even though Callen gave Beck crap about being a lawyer, no way would Callen celebrate one of the biggest things in his life without having all of his brothers around him. Mallory wondered if that now included Walker.
“Any excuse to drag out the grill.” Even now Declan hovered over it, blocking the wind as they all pretended it was summer outside.
Grace nodded as she held out her hand to welcome Callen as he approached. “Clearly rain can’t stop a man’s desire for charred meat.”
“That is a weird conversation to walk into.” He kissed his fiancée then turned to Mallory. “How are you?”
“Good.” That sort of covered everything, so Mallory went with it.
“Huh.” He frowned. “Why are you over here?”
“Callen,” Grace warned right before she punched him in the shoulder. “Behave.”
“I’m just pointing out that Walker is over there.” Then Callen actually did point.
That wasn’t annoying or anything. “I can see him. The eyes work fine.”
“Wait.” Grace drew out the word. “You’re matchmaking now?”
The expected denial never came. Callen nodded. “Seems to me
the guy can use some help in the female department.”
“You better not be talking about me.” Walker stepped into the group without warning.
“He totally is.” Mallory had missed him shooting across the yard. The quick reaction likely had to do with worrying about what Callen would say. She did not blame Walker one bit. Callen was a wild card.
A light, something mischievous and a bit scary, moved into Grace’s eyes. “Are you happy for me, Walker?”
“Can I answer when Callen isn’t standing here?”
Callen made a strangled noise. “Any more talk like that and you get a veggie burger for dinner.”
For the first time since Mallory had known these two and listened in on the battle, there was no anger behind the banter. They joked and neither got offended. Neither looked ready to punch a car. It was an unexpected but welcome change.
Mallory snorted. “As if you even have those in your kitchen.”
She would pay money to see the men in this family give up red meat. It would be a heck of a fundraiser.
“Good point.” Callen quickly conceded as he steered Grace toward a chair and motioned for her to sit down. With all the complaints about her swollen ankles she couldn’t exactly refuse.
Now Mallory wanted to help keep her there. Knowing Grace, she’d be up and zipping around without restraints. “Hey, you never said. Where and how did you propose?”
She bit her lip. “Um . . .”
Callen ran a hand over Grace’s hair. “In bed as nature intended.” He shot an apologetic glance in his mother’s direction. “Sorry.”
She shook her head. “That’s okay. I figured out you’ve slept together.”
For some reason that struck Mallory as hysterical. “The pregnancy gave it away, right?”
They laughed and the conversation continued. Tom and Declan picked on Callen. Walker watched it all. Mallory watched Walker.
For a man so dead set against accepting any new changes in his life, he’d been racing through them now. The work calls had picked up and each new one made him frown. She knew more bad news waited ahead. She could handle that. It was the communication shutdown that made her nuts. He’d finally started to show her glimpses. Say something here and there, fight to have their relationship extend past the bedroom. She needed more.
But then she looked at him. This time laughing with Grace as they traded work stories. Mallory listened, trying not to tense up when Walker described situations so dangerous that she wanted to lock him away.
By the time he’d taken them on the third real-life storytelling adventure and the light started to fade, the reality hit her. Losing this man would leave her heartbroken.
Her options for getting them back on track felt like moving targets. She could adopt Grace’s strategy and follow Walker, giving him no choice. Or she could go the Leah route and walk away, hoping he would follow.
Not exactly a promising set of choices and both required her to play games of a sort. The idea exhausted her. She wanted him to figure it all out, come to her and tell her how much he loved her.
Easy . . . right?
Walker picked that moment to wander over and stand next to her. She wanted to play it cool but failed almost immediately. “You holding up okay?”
He smiled at her. “Did you worry a party would break me?”
That almost sounded like a joke. Smiling, going to parties, joking. This version of Walker enjoyed fun. “You’re not exactly the hang-with-family type.”
“That is true.” He handed her a bottle of water but didn’t go into his usual defensive mode when someone pointed out the biological connection. “But this isn’t bad.”
She took that to mean he enjoyed being included.
He glanced around again. “Does it bother you to watch how they interact and wonder what you missed?”
She didn’t know how he knew she wanted it, but he did.
“I thought it would make me sad, but no.” She took a long drink then gave the bottle back. “Acceptance is the ultimate equalizer.”
He nodded as his gaze traveled over the picnic table and across the yard, hesitating on Kim then continuing. “And you feel that here?”
“Yes.” With Leah she always had. “And you?”
“I’m starting to.”
The man was one surprise after another.
***
An hour later the party died down. Kim and Tom started cleaning up. Walker broke away from Declan and Callen. Not that he didn’t enjoy a good argument over country music versus classic rock. He had better things to do. Like hunt Mallory down.
As the party continued the look on her face changed. From happy to something else . . . a sort of longing maybe. On some level he understood the sensation. Something about hanging with the Hanovers made a guy’s thoughts wander off task. All the anger he’d tucked away for all those years escaped him when it used to fuel him. He tried to call up the indignation and frustration over being the son Charlie didn’t choose and aim it right at Callen, but the rage fizzled. For the first time he viewed them all as Charlie roadkill—more victim than co-conspirator.
Right as he took a step in that direction a hand held him back. He glanced down. “Hey.”
Both Callen and Declan stood there. Callen did the talking. “You mess up again?”
Not that Walker understood the question. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re here.” Declan added, pointing to his description. “Mallory is there.”
Callen shook his head. “You do understand how dating works, right?”
Looked like they entered a new round of Tell-Walker-How-To-Get-Women. Walker hated the first time. He doubted this walk through his personal life would be much better. And just when he’d started to think these two weren’t that annoying.
“We don’t need to be glued to each other.” Walker wasn’t entirely sure he believed that but there was no way he was going to admit he was just about to go over to her.
“Oh, I get it.” Callen smacked the back of his hand against Declan’s chest.
Declan made a humming sound. “Yeah.”
More cryptic communication. Walker hated that shit. This is why he didn’t come to parties. No one bugged the crap out of him when he was home alone. “What now?”
“She told you to get away from her,” Declan said. “Go ahead. You can admit it.”
Callen went one step further and cuffed Walker’s shoulder in what could only be considered a sympathetic gesture. “That’s okay, man. There’s no shame in it.”
Declan winced. “Well, maybe a little.”
Since it would probably be bad form to knock their heads together in front of their mother and girlfriends, Walker refrained. But just barely. “We are fine. We’re getting back on track.”
Declan made a tsk-tsking sound as he glanced over at Callen. “I almost feel bad for him.”
“No wonder Beck leaves town a lot.” Walker didn’t bother to whisper the comment.
“He does that because he’s allergic to manual labor.” Callen threw an arm wide. “Look around you. Did you ever see Beck out here working on anything?”
“True but talking about Beck isn’t helping Walker with his pathetic sex life,” Declan said.
“Keep talking. I don’t care.” They were joking, trying to get a reaction. Training kicked in. Walker had been taught to withstand interrogation. Surely he could handle two annoying brothers hell-bent on pushing him.
“Maybe there’s a class we can send him to. I think the senior citizens group has a ‘dating again’ sort of thing.” Callen took his cell phone out of his back pocket.
Declan pointed at something on the small screen. “Look, they meet at the fire hall.”
Callen nodded. “That sounds nice.”
No question the enemy needed to deploy Declan and Callen. Listening to this nonsense and not being able to escape or bang heads together would break anyone. No amount of interrogation training would help.
Walker deci
ded to end this and all the comments about him being too private once and for all. He handed his water bottle to Declan. “Hold this.”
Callen’s eyes narrowed. “What dumbass thing are you going to do? And I’m asking because I plan to film it.”
If the women hadn’t been there Walker would have given Callen the finger. Instead, he walked over to Mallory. More like stalked. He was a man on a mission.
“Excuse me.” He butted in between Leah and Grace and tugged on Mallory’s arm to come toward him.
Her eyebrow lifted as if she waged some internal debate about whether or not to tell him off. “What’s happening?”
“Declan and Callen are working on my nerves.” And that was the understatement of the fucking century.
She waved off his concerns. “That’s not new. Everything Callen says pisses me off.”
“They’re issuing a challenge of sorts.” And suddenly Walker wanted very much to go through with it.
“Just a second.” Mallory looked over Walker’s shoulder and called out. “Callen, you broke Walker.”
He touched her arm and brought her attention whipping back to him. “Oh, I am more than fine.”
When she opened her mouth, he moved in. His arms went around her. He may have even dipped her a little. All he could feel was the excitement thrumming through her as her skin heated. Their mouths met and her arms found his shoulders.
This was not a quick peck. Nope. Walker kissed her long and hard, making it clear he viewed her as important. It was a primal need to stake a claim and he did.
When they broke apart, Mallory looked up at him a bit dazed. “Yes, you are fine.”
The kiss had body-slammed him. He wasn’t one for PDA but despite what she may think he didn’t have any shame about being with her. He wanted to announce it in the paper and yell it from the nearby mountaintops.
He settled for beating Callen at his own game. “Happy now?”
“I am.” Mallory whispered.
Too Far Gone Page 17
