“She knows life isn’t like that.” Cat had the words out before she realized she was wrong. Her daughter did believe her life was a fairy tale. “Oh, dear.”
Cat felt miserable. This was all getting complicated. “She’ll understand that we can’t get married.”
“Really?” The smile was gone from Jake’s face and his voice was curious.
Cat nodded. She could figure this out. She just needed to do it slowly. “No one should have to get married. That’s not why I came to see you, anyway. I just need some time to tell Lara about you. She’ll be fine.”
“I see,” Jake said. This time his voice had definitely flattened out.
She looked up at him, wondering why it was that when her heart was breaking her tears had dried up. “We could still be friends, though.”
He laughed, completely without humor. “Lara knows that the prince never just shakes hands and becomes friends with the princess. She’s even got the kiss down. Ask her sometime.”
With that, he walked out of the room, leaving the door partially open.
She’d set the photo down on the bed and she picked it back up again. She searched the man’s face for some hint of the rage that had brought him down in his later years, but she saw none. His actions had left such deep hurts in the lives of others.
Lord, how long can I wait? You know what the doctor said. I don’t have much time before the surgery. What if Jake never feels worthy of being a father? Am I wrong to wait to tell Lara until I’m sure?
She sat there for a few more minutes and then stood up and put the framed picture back on the dresser where it belonged. The man was dead; he shouldn’t have so much power over his son. She listened and could hear laughter coming from the kitchen. She hoped Lara tucked the memory of this night deep inside her somewhere. She might need it in the years ahead.
She turned a little too quickly toward the door and felt a pain shoot through her. She had a hard time catching her breath and the room started to spin. She tried to step toward the bed, but a white mist seemed to overwhelm her. Her last thought as she sank to the floor was relief that she wasn’t going to die with that photo in her hand. Jake would never forgive her for that, because he would have to explain it all to their daughter then.
Chapter Ten
Jake sat at the kitchen table. He was miserable, but was trying not to let it show. He knew Cat was disappointed in him, but a man needed to do what was right even if it made him unpopular. And, no matter which way he looked at it, he wasn’t doing anyone any favors by pretending he could be a father. If he had the ability to change himself, that would be different. For a moment, he envied his mother and Cat their unblinking belief that God could do that for a man.
But they had the same look on their faces that he’d seen on tourists who wanted to play poker for the first time in Las Vegas. They thought they would get lucky and beat the pros. Some of the regulars called them “blind-bet pigeons,” because they often couldn’t even follow the speed of the other players and were easily plucked of all their money. Jake never sat down to a table with pigeons.
And he didn’t want to lose the game now with Lara and Cat. He was best as an “uncle” and not a father.
Maybe if he didn’t look in the mirror and see parts of his father in his own face it would be different. But there was something about the shape of his eyebrows and a fleeting glance he sometimes got when he saw his chin. His coloring all came from his mother, but his father was surely in him, as well.
Lara giggled and the pure joy of the sound brought him back from his brooding. She was sitting on the other side of the table with his mother next to her. Wade had brought out three cartons filled with ice cream—mango, vanilla and super-chunk chocolate—along with hot fudge and some things in little bottles. Right now, Lara was carefully placing pink things on top of her vanilla ice cream.
“How did you know to buy pink?” Jake asked his mother in surprise. She and Wade would never buy sprinkles for themselves. “Was that one of your, ah, impressions? The things you hear from God?”
“Of course not,” she answered as she looked over at him, satisfaction evident in every line of her face. “Wade’s the one who bought them.”
Jake turned to arch an eyebrow at his older brother who was coming back to the table with a bottle of maraschino cherries. “Really? You and the pink stuff?”
His brother stopped in midstride and glared at him.
“You’re blushing!” Jake realized in astonishment.
“They were for Amy, okay?” Wade growled as he finished walking to the table. He slammed the bottle of cherries down. “She likes pink.”
Jake held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, I get it, then.”
“No, you don’t, but you would if you weren’t too chicken to get married.”
Jake figured there might be some humor in his brother’s face, but it wasn’t enough to make it better.
“My life is my business,” Jake said curtly. “And it’s fine.”
He knew it was a lie when he said it. Nothing about his life had been fine since Cat walked into the hotel in Las Vegas. Not that it had been much more than adequate before that, but it was certainly stretching to call it fine now.
“Yeah?” Wade said as he sat down in the chair he’d used before. “You don’t look like you’re doing so good.”
“Now, boys,” his mother said, looking up from the pyramid of ice cream she was helping Lara decorate. “Let’s be civil. We’re having a party.”
“Is it my birthday again?” Lara asked, excitement making her voice rise to a squeal. She had managed to find her plastic crown and put it on her head already so she was prepared.
“If you want it to be,” his mother told the girl firmly and then looked over at him a little guiltily. “Kids don’t get spoiled from having too many parties, do they?”
Jake shrugged. He certainly wasn’t the one to reprimand anyone on that score. And he was happy to attend all of his daughter’s birthday parties. He just wished Cat would come back to the kitchen so she could have some of the ice cream, too. She was still looking more peaked than he thought she should. Maybe some ice cream would make her feel better.
“Wade’s right, you know,” his mother leaned over and whispered to him a few minutes later while Lara was busy selecting a cherry from the jar and Wade had left the table to get a bigger spoon.
“People have to make their own decisions,” he said.
His mother looked at him a moment. “They also need to take responsibility for their actions.”
“I’m going to provide for them. I just haven’t had a chance to meet with my accountant and ask him to send regular payments. But I’ll do that when I get back to Las Vegas next week. They won’t want for anything.”
“Except you,” his mother said and was quiet for a minute before finishing. “Your friend, Cat, is probably in my bedroom crying right now.”
“Friendship is the best…” Jake started and then he realized all of what his mother had said. “You don’t really think she’s crying, do you? I thought she was just taking a few minutes to rest. She’s tired. It was a long drive to get here and…” He stood. “I’m going to go check on her.”
He didn’t know what he would do if she was crying. He couldn’t bear to have her unhappy. Maybe he just hadn’t explained everything well enough. He was doing what was best for her and Lara by keeping his distance. That didn’t mean he didn’t love them.
The realization came to him so fast that he stopped halfway through the living room. It was dark except for the dim light shining out from the hall. He didn’t know why it had taken him so long to realize that his worry about Cat was not all there was. He stood there and the only thing that ran through his mind was that loving them only meant he should do more to protect them
.
Then he heard a moan and every muscle in his body went on alert. Cat wasn’t sleeping and she was in pain. He could hear it in her voice. He forgot about walking and ran to the partially open door. At first all he could see was the bed and no one was lying there. He pushed the door completely open, though, and that’s when he saw her. She was lying, crumpled on the floor by the dresser.
“Cat,” he whispered as he went to her.
She didn’t answer and her face was turned away from him so he couldn’t see it. He bent down and leaned over to touch her cheek, hoping to wake her. Her skin was cold.
“Cat,” he said again, moving his hands lightly over her scalp to see if she had fallen and hit her head on the dresser. Her hair fell between his fingers in silky strands, but he found no bumps or obvious cuts. Her breathing was shallow.
He’d taken a first-aid course at one of the casinos a year ago and he desperately tried to remember what else he should check for. He ruled out a drug overdose because he knew she would never take anything. Likewise with being drunk. Thinking back he remembered those were the two things the first-aid course had emphasized the most. He ran his hand down her back to be sure he hadn’t overlooked a major break from a fall. The sweater she had worn since Las Vegas was thin enough that he saw there was nothing obvious in the way of broken bones. But he couldn’t be sure without an X-ray.
And then he felt her stir. He had one hand on her back still and the other braced against the floor on the other side of her head, so when she turned, he was looking right down at her.
Her eyes opened and she stared at him for a moment.
“Do I get a kiss?” she whispered, a hint of mischief in her eyes.
“How can you joke about this?” Jake demanded and then he bent down and kissed her anyway.
Her lips were sweet.
When he pulled away, he didn’t move back more than a couple of inches. He looked into her eyes and tried not to let his terror show. “Do you hurt anywhere? Did you fall? What happened?”
“I didn’t break anything,” she said, and then her eyes moved away from his.
She was hiding something.
“I know you’re not fainting from hunger this time,” he persisted. “And you say you’re not pregnant. But something’s wrong. I’m going to drive you into Miles City to the hospital.”
This made her eyes lift back to his.
“But—” she started to say.
“I don’t want you to worry. I’m paying for it, and Lara can stay here with my mom and Wade. She’ll be fine. When was the last time you saw a doctor, anyway?”
She didn’t answer for so long he thought she wasn’t going to and then she said, “A week ago.”
“Well, you’re going to need a complete workup,” Jake said as he leaned back on his heels. “Let me check you further to be sure you didn’t break any bones in your fall. Then I’ll lift you up to the bed.”
“Mommy.” The call sounded as if it was coming from the kitchen. “Come see my castle.”
Cat reached up to touch his face and then she whispered, “Don’t let Lara see me like this. I don’t want to scare her.”
Jake reached up and wrapped his hand around her fingers, before turning her palm so he could kiss the center of it. “I’ll take care of everything. I’ll lift you to the bed and then I’ll go see Lara.”
He didn’t know what he’d say to the girl, but he’d do his best to reassure her that nothing was wrong with her mother.
“You’re sure nothing feels like it’s broken?” he asked as he squatted down and moved so his arms were under her legs and back.
“I’m fine, just…” Cat said.
“Put your arms around my neck,” he said.
When she had done so, he lifted her, straightening his knees slowly as he stood.
“There,” he said softly as he turned and laid her on the bed.
When he had her settled, he sat down on the edge of the bed and took her hand. “I don’t want you to worry, either. The doctors will find out what’s wrong. It will be okay.”
She smiled at him then, a little sadly. “When you get back, we need to talk.”
“Mommy,” Lara called again from the kitchen. “My castle is melting.”
Jake stood up. “I’ll go see to her and ask Wade to go out and start the engine on my pickup so the cab can warm up before I take you out. It’s cold tonight.”
“I really don’t need to go,” Cat protested.
“Yes,” Jake said as he turned back on his way to the door. “Yes, you do.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” he said and with that he stepped through the door.
Cat watched him leave the room. Maybe she did need to have a doctor look at her again. She knew all about the congenital defect in her heart, but maybe it had gotten worse. She hadn’t been fainting like this before. If her heart was deteriorating, she didn’t have much time. She’d talk to the doctor and then tell Jake she wanted him to be Lara’s guardian if something happened. There was no more time for him to adjust to being a father. The doctor would surely tell her she needed to get back to Minneapolis right after the wedding and have surgery.
She looked at the ceiling of the room. Gracie and her husband must have lain here and stared up at this same ceiling when they had troubles. Jake had told him that he and both of his brothers had been born in this bed. She liked the sense of family she had in this room, from the photos on the dresser to the old white-cotton bathrobe that hung on a hook just outside the closet.
Jake had told her once that the people in Dry Creek bought their bathrobes with an eye to their later use as costumes in the Christmas pageant. White was for the angels. It was such a lovely tradition, she thought as her eyes almost closed.
She heard footsteps hurrying through the living room and forced her eyes to remain open. Finally, she saw Jake appear again in the doorway to the bedroom.
“I told Lara that you and I are going to take a drive,” he announced as he came inside. “And I took Wade aside to explain everything and he’s going to turn the heater on in the pickup. Then he’ll call Amy and the two of them will follow us into Miles City.”
Cat tried to pull herself up. “Oh, not on the night before their wedding. They shouldn’t have to do that.”
“Wade won’t stay back,” Jake said, coming over to the bed. “He’s my brother and I’d have to tie him down to make him sit this out. He knows I’d do the same for him.”
“Well, at least tell Amy she doesn’t need to come,” Cat said as she put her arms around Jake’s neck again. “She must have all those last-minute things to do.”
Jake wrapped the quilt she’d been lying on around her. “Amy won’t hear of it, either.”
“My purse,” she whispered. She’d need her insurance card and maybe the phone number of her doctor back in Minneapolis.
Jake set her purse on top of her. Then he put his arms under her and lifted her up. “We’ll need to keep you warm.”
He left the light on as he walked out of the bedroom. She liked being held close like this as he walked easily through the living room.
“Did you tell your mom?” Cat finally remembered. She felt drowsy. “So she’ll know Lara’s staying with her.”
“She overheard enough of what I told Wade,” he said.
It took all of Cat’s concentration just to hang on to her consciousness. The door was still open as they walked into the kitchen.
Cat turned her head and saw her daughter with a spoonful of ice cream in her hand.
“I’m eating my castle,” Lara said proudly. “If I don’t, it will melt.”
Lara had no sooner finished talking that she started to stare at Cat.
“Everything’s fine, pumpkin,” Cat said. “I’m go
ing to be gone for a little while, but you stay here with Jake’s mother and be a good girl.”
Lara looked as though she was on the verge of tears.
“I love you,” Cat said, tears of her own coming too close. “Just get a good night’s sleep and remember, tomorrow is the wedding.”
Lara’s face didn’t clear at the promise of that.
“There will be cake,” Jake said as he carried her past the table. “Big pieces of cake.”
That finally made Lara smile. “Like my birthday cake?”
“You’ll have to wait and see,” Cat said as they went through the door.
“Oh,” she breathed out as Jake kicked the door shut behind them. The night was black and, if it wasn’t for the headlights on Wade’s pickup, Jake wouldn’t be able to see the ground well enough to walk safely.
Wade wasn’t in his pickup, but was waiting beside the passenger door of Jake’s vehicle. He opened the door as they arrived and Jake slid her into her place in the cab and then tucked the quilt around her.
Jake closed the door and walked around to the driver’s side. He climbed in and put the key in the ignition. “Wade’s going to stop and pick up Amy and meet us at the hospital. We won’t wait for them.”
Cat nodded. It was too much effort to speak.
The beams of the headlights followed the gravel road as Jake drove steadily. He didn’t try to talk to her, but she noticed he kept glancing over at her. The inside of the cab was dark, but Wade was following them down the road and the lights from his pickup showed her Jake’s face. He was worried, a small frown settling on his forehead. He’d put a jacket on and the collar was turned up around his neck. He’d sat his hat on the seat between them, but she wondered if he wore it at night. He’d never had a Stetson back in the home. There was so much she wanted to learn about him.
She set her hand down on the seat between the two of them and he reached down to hold it.
Lilac Wedding in Dry Creek Page 13
