“She’ll be back,” said the Girl, picking up the little creature. She set it on her shoulder and sat down on the wet ground to watch Horst making his zigzag way among the Stones.
“Won’t someone tell me what’s going on?” asked Zozula plaintively.
*
Selena stood before the old woman. There was a dreamlike unreality about the scene, as though the two of them were surrounded by a mist that isolated them from the Triad, Horst and the Stones. One Stone remained; the one beside the old woman. And now Selena saw that this one was different from the others. No lichen grew on it, no cracks disfigured its surface, and yet it bore an air of unimaginable age.
“Who are you?” asked Selena.
“I am Shenshi.”
“What are you doing on my planet? How did you get here?” It was impossible that this old woman should be standing here. “Are … are you human?” Selena asked finally, guessing part of the truth.
“Not so human as you, my dear. That’s why I’ve come to see you. I have scanned the Ifalong, and I believe that you could shortly be making a decision of Galactic significance. Through a series of related events, the results of your decision will affect the health and sanity of a great Being to whom I am responsible. It is my duty to insure your decision is the right one.”
“Oh,” said Selena. There seemed to be little else to say.
“Tell me what your plans are.”
“Well … It’s a long story.”
“You may assume that I know everything that has happened so far.”
“Oh. Well, we’re looking for a lost data crystal that may hold the clue to neoteny.”
“I can give you that crystal.”
“You can?” And the mists cleared for a moment. Selena saw Horst running, running and shouting, bounding among the Stones, and every time he touched a Stone it glowed. Over half the Stones were glowing now and … Selena stared, then decided it was an optical illusion caused by the mist. But it seemed to her that the glowing Stones had left the ground and now hung in the air at varying heights. “Can I have the crystal, then?” asked Selena, holding out her hand. She wanted to get away from here. Strange things were happening.
“Very soon. I must warn you, though, that the crystal will be no use to you unless you make the correct decision.”
“Just tell me what decision you want me to make,” said Selena, more sharply than she intended. She was becoming very frightened.
“I can’t do that. It would presume an exact knowledge of the future that I do not possess. I can say in general terms that the decision ought to have been made already, and that the reason you have procrastinated is because the decision is a very difficult and — you may think — personal one. But the decision is too complex and the Ifalong too uncertain for me to tell you exactly what it is, and when it should be made.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Selena.
“If one thing in the Ifalong was certain,” said Shenshi, “it was that you would have said that. Always remember, the same decision will be before you, time and again, until you die. So decide soon, at the next significant branching of happentracks.”
There was a long silence. At last, quietly, Selena said, “How will I know when that is?”
“Everybody knows when happentracks are about to branch. You can feel it within you,” said Shenshi. “So don’t deny it when you feel it.”
Then she touched the Rock and was gone.
*
“Where have you been?” asked the Girl. “I’ve been looking after your potto for you.”
“I … I’m not sure,” said Selena. What was that, a residue of a memory in her mind? Something about an old woman and a decision? She shook her head and placed the potto on her shoulder. Most of the Stones were glowing now, and they really did seem to be hanging in the air. In point of fact, she decided, they were being reflected from the clouds. She stroked the potto, determined that from now on she would always keep it with her. She was getting old, and human memories could play tricks.
“Horst has almost finished,” said Manuel.
“And what happens then?” asked Zozula. “Will that be all? The Stones he touched first have stopped glowing now.” Those Stones stood cold and dead, barren chunks of granite.
“I’m sure it will be worthwhile, after all this time,” said Manuel. “He seems to be working his way over to that far side. Let’s go, shall we?” Not wishing to miss anything, the young man hurried to the other side of the basin. A Stone stood there that was a little different from the rest.
The Girl followed on her shruglegger. “This will be the last one,” she said confidently.
When Selena arrived she regarded the Stone curiously, chasing an elusive memory. Her potto could not help her. The little animal shivered suddenly.
“This had better be good,” said Zozula.
Horst arrived, breathless. He flung himself at the last Stone, yelling. His hands sought the indentations while his gaze roved wildly over the clouds. He calmed himself, muttering incantations. His young face was contorted with emotions too strong for his small frame to contain, and he seemed to radiate a vital, desperate energy. “Come to me, my love!” he shouted finally.
And she came. There was a sound like a thunderclap and a young girl materialized beside the Stone.
She had dark hair and a pretty, immature face that bore no sign of the tortures she had undergone. She glanced briefly at the Triad and Selena, then her gaze rested on the Everling. She smiled.
“We did it, Horst.”
“We did.” But he stood apart from her, not meeting her eyes.
“Kiss me, Horst.”
“I’m not worthy.”
“Oh, don’t be a damned fool, Horst,” said Zozula briskly, intruding on the scene with clumsy impatience. “Kiss the girl. Then tell me what all this is about, for God’s sake.”
But Horst stood where he was, until Loanna stepped forward and, taking his face in her hands, kissed him firmly on the lips. Then he grinned briefly and took her hands, staring at her greedily.
“I can’t believe it,” he said. “Those demons. How did you give them the slip?”
“Oh, they were all around me. It seems they always have been.” Her face clouded as she remembered. “Hairy and evil, like humans who have been made wrong … and I always kept seeing little bits of myself in them; that was the worst part. If they hadn’t always made it clear that I was their enemy, I might have ended up believing I was one of them.” She shuddered. “But then, today, I thought I sensed you out there, Horst. I couldn’t believe it — it was the first time I’d felt anything like hope for thousands of years. And suddenly this old woman appeared, right there, among the monsters. She said, ‘Horst has come for you. Link your mynde with his, Loanna.’ Just like that. And the monsters seemed to freeze, as though time had stopped for them.”
“An old woman?” repeated Selena thoughtfully.
But Loanna wasn’t listening. She was looking at Horst, holding his hands.
“We ought to go,” said Manuel.
“Wait a moment,” said Selena. Addressing Loanna, she said, “We’re seeking knowledge from a long time ago. Do you have anything for us?”
Loanna managed to disengage a hand long enough to reach inside her cloak and bring out a glittering crystal.
“Thanks” said Selena shakily, taking it and holding it carefully. “I think that’s all we needed. We’ll leave you alone now.”
Mounting their shrugleggers, they rode out of the basin of dead Stones.
SELENA’S CHOICE
The wind was strong that evening, and Selena had to cling tightly to the shruglegger’s neck as the massive creature bore her along the cliff path. Below, the dark waters thundered. It was an hour before she reached the appointed place: a cleft where the path descended to a narrow beach and the waves boomed hollowly among caves.
Mentor stepped out of the darkness and lifted her down from her mount. They kissed, and she t
asted salt on his lips. After a while they entered a nearby cave illuminated by a small glowpile.
“I’ve missed you,” said Selena. “It’s been hell, trying to act normally in front of those people. Never knowing if a caracal will let something slip. Always scared I’ll use your name by accident.”
“I’ve missed you, too,” said Mentor shortly.
Selena held him at arm’s length, looking into his face. “Is something wrong?”
“Of course something’s wrong. I’m wet and I’m damned cold, and I’m getting a little tired of this cave. If you’d given me more notice, I’d have been able to stock it up with food and drink, and maybe a caracal-girl. Look at it!” He gestured at the streaming walls, the puddled floor, the pale crawling things. “This is no place for a True Human!”
“It’s only for a short time, my love. And anyway, I’m here now. Let’s not quarrel.”
“I’m not quarreling, I’m merely stating facts. How much longer am I going to be stuck here? Is Zozula satisfied with what he’s seen?”
Rather acidly, she said, “He didn’t come here to criticize. We have problems, and he wanted to help.”
“That’s not what you told me before.”
“I was wrong. What does it matter? Today we found the data crystal, and tomorrow I’m going to get Brutus to install it and call it up on the keyboard.”
“Couldn’t you have done that tonight?”
“My God! I wanted to see you, don’t you understand? And you have to realize, Brutus is very sick. If it weren’t for the urgency, and if it weren’t for you, I’d have let him rest for a couple of days.”
“Well,” grumbled Mentor, “why don’t you do just that, if he’s so important to you? Just send me a caracal-girl with some supplies.”
“I will not send you a caracal-girl,” she snapped. “Are you telling me I’m not good enough?”
“I’m telling you you’re not here often enough. I get lonely.” “Well, that’s just too bad. You’ll have to sit it out for a few days.”
“Perhaps I won’t.”
“What do you mean?” There was an edge of alarm in Selena’s voice.
“I have freewill. You don’t own me. I might just make my way back to Boss Castle.”
“You wouldn’t!”
“I might.”
“But … It would be the end of us. You couldn’t … Aware suddenly that she was beginning to plead, she said harshly. “They’d recycle you.”
“Oh, no they wouldn’t. I’m a perfectly good True Human. One of the last. I could be very valuable to the human race — much more valuable than I am as your plaything.” The words began to come fast. Obviously he’d been brooding about this for some time. “I’ve sat in your quarters for eighty years, do you realize that? Just wasting my time and growing old. You’ve kept me a prisoner.”
“You’ve had everything you wanted, and you’ve been outside often. And you’ve never complained before.” She felt the tears coming. “How was I supposed to know you felt like this? When I first took you, you were just a baby. I fed you and looked after you, and I thought you were happy. And then, later … You grew up so tall and handsome … I love you. Can’t you understand that?”
“Then send me a caracal-girl.”
For the first time, she thought: He’s immature, and he always will be, unless he’s exposed to real people. But all he’s had is the caracal-girls and a few trips into Dream Earth. I made him this way. He is the same flesh as his vat-father, but he is quite a different person. It’s my fault. And now I may lose him.
“I’ll send you a caracal-girl,” she said.
*
Lying in his hospital bed, Brutus couldn’t understand what was going on around him.
After the initial pain had subsided and he was able to think coherently, he had experienced a flush of pride. He had saved a baby from drowning. Once again, he had dealt capably with an emergency and justified his position as Selena’s right-hand man. He lay there smiling for a while.
Then Alice had arrived and it emerged that he was not the hero he had thought himself to be. Instead, he was a stupid ape, a lackey of the True Humans, possessed of unthinking animal obedience. He went to sleep with that thought, and he awakened in a fine rage.
When Alice came next she was curiously reluctant to discuss the matter, however, and avoided his eyes when he began to rail against the unfair treatment of the Specialists. Then she did a complete about-face.
“We’re all working toward the same objective,” she said.
Brutus had stared at her and had not pursued the matter. He didn’t know what had happened to change her mind, and obviously she didn’t want to tell him. She began to talk about their work and the progress of the latest crop of babies as though nothing had happened. By the time she left, he was totally confused. He tried to work it out, but the only issues he could comprehend were his own grudges: the episode of the babies in the boats, the missing neotenite and Alice’s criticism of his bravery. So he thought about these matters for a long time, scowling.
Eventually Selena arrived.
Selena was not in the best of tempers, either. Mentor was childish, selfish and getting out of hand. And now she had to go crawling to Brutus, whose recent attitude had been one of sullen resentment and who probably knew about Mentor, and ask him to replace the crystal and access the data. By the time she reached the hospital, she’d convinced herself that Brutus would bear watching while he fixed the Rainbow. She wouldn’t put it past him to sabotage the entire data bank.
She opened the door and saw him lying there, scowling brutishly. She hesitated, fighting a moment’s pity at seeing his gigantic frame so helpless, then strode forward, holding out the crystal.
“I’m sure you know what this is,” she said.
Brutus assumed she’d found it somewhere around the factory. And he assumed that she would think he’d hidden it so that they wouldn’t be able to solve the neoteny problem.
“It looks like some kind of glass cube,” he said sulkily.
“You know damned well what it is.”
“Yes, I do. And I did not remove it from the Rainbow.”
“I never said you did. That’s the trouble with you Specialists. You’re always so damned defensive. Always harboring imaginary grudges.”
Brutus’s temper began slowly to rise. He could feel it happening and he made a conscious effort to hold himself back — because he knew that his anger could be a frightening thing to other people. But Selena’s attitude was too much for his self-control.
“Perhaps you took the crystal,” he said.
“Don’t be ridiculous! Why should I do that?”
“You might have something to hide!” shouted Brutus before he could stop himself. His great fists were clenching and unclenching as though seeking something to crush.
“Just exactly what do you mean by that?” asked Selena, white-faced.
“You stole a baby, you … You True Human!” roared Brutus. “You stole it — and let me take the blame!”
“If you mean I requisitioned a foetus for research,” said Selena icily, “you are quite right. But it has nothing to do with this crystal. The data here is ancient.” Oh, dear God, she thought. Can he see me trembling I Can he read my mind?
“So where is the baby now?” asked Brutus in dead tones, suddenly ominously calm.
“That has nothing to do with the crystal.” Stupidly, she brandished it in support of her argument.
Brutus’s hand flashed out. He took the crystal. He said, again, “Where is the baby now?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. What does it matter? What’s one baby more or less?”
With a roar of rage, Brutus crushed the crystal in his huge fist. Little shards tinkled to the floor and lay there glittering. The memory of what happened in the year 108,285 winked out.
*
Those events occurred on countless happentracks. A whole new branch of the Ifalong arose as a result — a branch on which the Triad
did not discover the cure for neoteny and did not defeat the Bale Wolves or remove the Hate Bombs. On those happentracks Starquin remained a prisoner. The Dedos were instructed to investigate other possibilities, and the members of the Triad went their separate ways. Crucial events in Earth’s Ifalong were delayed by twenty thousand years. Alpacas and jaguarundis became extinct.
And the Song of Earth told of different triumphs, different heroes. All because Selena had been unable to make the decision that Shenshi wanted.
But on countless other happentracks she had been able to — like this: She opened the door and saw Brutus lying there, frowning unhappily. She hesitated, her irritation turning to pity as she saw his gigantic frame so helpless. She walked to his bedside.
“How are you feeling, Brutus?”
“I’m fine,” he said. “I’ll be up in a day or two.”
“That was a very courageous thing you did.”
His frown lifted. “Thank you.”
“I realize you people sometimes get disheartened because the babies don’t turn out right. I’m hoping we’ll be able to change all that, soon. We’ve found a crystal that I think will help us a lot.” She related the events of the afternoon at Horst’s Stones, concluding, “So as soon as you feel well enough, I’d like you to replace the crystal and access the data for us.”
Brutus watched her.
“And there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” she said. “A long time ago I did a very foolish thing. Worse than that, it was an illegal thing …”
*
The events resulting from Selena’s first choice drift into an uncertain Ifalong where only the principal events are known through the Rainbow’s projections. The events resulting from her second choice are well known.
Both choices are often compared by the minstrels and poets, and the whole incident is used as a cautionary tale.
For anger at a crucial time can alter Fate’s intent,
And set in motion happen tracks that wisdom might prevent.
So runs a couplet in the Song of Earth.
WHAT HAPPENED IN THE YEAR 180,285
Gods of the Greataway Page 16
