‘If you want to start a new life, you’ve come to the right place. Whanganui is as good a place as any to settle down and build new dreams.’
He noticed Aroha mouth a silent ‘Thank you’ at Nora.
‘Alright, must be on my way. Give us a yell if you need anything. Goodbye for now.’ Nora turned and shuffled off.
Wiremu felt his mother’s warm hand on his back. ‘I like her. What a beautiful, kind lady. Aren’t we lucky to have such a nice neighbour?’
Wiremu hoped Nora was right about their new home. Despite his reservations about Aroha’s fickleness, he felt a seed of hope sprouting deep within him. Whanganui was a nice place. People seemed friendly, and if Aroha could get a part-time job, things would be easier. He didn’t have any friends yet, but once the school holidays were over, he could start his new school. Being an only child and having moved around a lot, he was good at making friends.
He spoke to Dharma every night about wanting a dad, a real dad who would love them and make them a family. He knew Dharma understood a real dad meant someone loving and good.
He would be happy never to see his stepfather Gray again. Gray seemed to resent his presence, treating him as if he were always in the way. Whatever Aroha did was never up to scratch either. Wiremu wondered why she had stayed with him for so long. She never really seemed happy when he was around. They’d left him before, but when the money started to run out they always went back.
‘He’s coming this weekend.’ Aroha’s positive tone felt like a punch in the stomach. Wiremu looked up from the building-block house he was working on. Aroha’s nervous eyes said it all. A sharp kick of alarm caused him to drop a block.
‘Is the money starting to run out, Mum?’
‘No, no, he’s just here for the weekend, so we can talk and try to sort things out. This time it will be different. You’ll see.’ Wiremu didn’t like the tight, forced smile. He wanted to see a real smile. He wanted to hear Aroha laugh again.
Outside Thistle’s Sweet Shop, Wiremu lingered. Hands thrust deep in his jacket pockets, he shivered. It was cold. He pressed his nose against the window, admiring the rainbow of colours inside. His right hand turned the two-dollar coin over and over in his pocket. The coin he had taken from his mother’s purse when she was talking in a low voice on the phone to Gray. Money was tight, he knew. ‘No money for luxuries,’ Aroha had said often in recent weeks. She hadn’t said anything about the missing coin though. He longed for something sweet. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had lollies.
Stepping into Thistle’s Sweet Shop felt like being enveloped in a warm hug. The kind of hug his mum used to wrap him in all the time before she met Gray. To Wiremu it felt like coming home. He sucked in the sweet smell of every lolly imaginable, from jet planes to jaffas. He wandered around the shop in a daze, knowing he had some tough choices to make. With only two dollars in his pocket, he agonised over what to leave out. It was while he was studying the giant jellybeans that he felt an imposing hand clench his shoulder.
‘This way, thanks.’ The hand propelled him to the back of the shop.
‘What’s wrong? What are you doing?’ He was scared. A man with a red face leaned over to question him as he tried to pull away.
‘I wanna know something. Have you taken anything today?’ He couldn’t know about the two-dollar coin. What’s he talking about? That wasn’t today.
‘I don’t know what you mean.’
‘An old lady said she saw you put some sweets in your pocket. Empty them. Now!’
Wiremu froze. His hands felt heavy, as if they were about to drop off the ends of his arms. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
‘No, I would never do that. I would never take anything.’ I’ll never, ever do it again. Sorry Mum!
‘Empty them. Now!’
He pulled his pockets inside out to reveal his two-dollar coin.
‘Mistake. Never mind, off with you then.’
He wanted to say something to the man, about how mean he was, but his mouth remained glued shut. The heavy feeling had now shifted to his feet, and he was rooted to the spot. His cheeks flushed as red as raspberry liquorice; he was angry at the injustice of it all.
‘Didn’t you hear me? I said get outta here!’
He found his feet again, turned and ran out of the shop. He didn’t stop until he was outside his house, where he crouched between two damp hydrangea bushes and cried. The tears flooded his eyes as he clutched the wet grass. He ached for Dharma, wanting to bury his face in her soft white fur.
‘What’s the matter sonny?’ Appearing out of nowhere, Nora’s concern sparked off a fresh flood of tears. ‘That’s right, old nosey parker from next door. What’s wrong, sonny?’
Annoyed she had heard him, he pushed his palms against his eyes, ready to ignore her.
‘Sometimes it helps to talk.’ His resolve softened when Nora put her hand on his shoulder, the way his Nanny Kahu used to.
‘I’m fed up with grown-ups. They’re all so stupid and mean about things. And dumb, saying things that aren’t true.’
Nora scratched her chin. ‘I know what you mean. We grown-ups, we just don’t know how to handle things all the time. Life is like a story we’re making up as we go along.’ She turned to go, calling back, ‘Your mum means well. Don’t be too hard on her.’
‘But, but, it wasn’t …’ Nora disappeared down the driveway.
He felt in his pocket for a tissue and pulled out his mother’s two-dollar coin. He got up and ran inside to put it back in her purse, before she noticed it was gone.
Wiremu was surprised to be greeted by a warm, inviting smell. The only delicious smells he was used to these days were the tempting aromas wafting over the back fence from the neighbouring KFC.
‘I baked.’ Aroha greeted him with a peck on the cheek and the warmest smile he’d seen in a long time. He paused, enjoying the scene.
‘I invited Nora over for anzac biscuits and scones with her delicious plum jam.’ Aroha was never happier than when she was baking or sharing the fruits of her labour.
‘I thought I’d surprise you. The money from WINZ finally came through, so I was able to buy ingredients.’
‘That’s great Mum.’ He took a seat at the table.
‘Help yourself.’
He could see his mother was bursting to tell him something. She looked like a butterfly flitting from flower to flower as she tidied the kitchen.
‘Nora loved the biscuits and scones. So much so, she made me an offer. She asked me to go into partnership in her baking stall at the Saturday market. She’ll supply the tins and ingredients, and I can help her out by doing most of the baking. She’s wanting to slow down a bit, and needs some help to keep the business going. She said it’s a nice little money-earner. Wiremu, it’d help us get back on our feet!’ Flushed with excitement, Aroha finally paused for breath.
‘So, what do you think?’
‘Does this mean Gray’s moving down here then?’
As soon as he’d said it, he wished he hadn’t. Aroha flinched as if she’d been slapped. She turned away and leaned over the kitchen sink.
‘Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. No, he wouldn’t want to live here.’ Suddenly pulling herself together, she spun around to face him. He was amazed at the speed with which she’d stretched the familiar tight smile across her face.
‘He’s just coming so we can talk. It’s nice to have options anyway.’
He didn’t feel hungry for biscuits any more. He wanted to tell his mother to forget about Gray and move on with her life this time. She deserved better than the mean way he treated her. After their last blazing row, his mother had said there was no going back.
Gray arrived on Saturday morning. Other than Gray’s haircut, Wiremu realised nothing had changed. In spite of promising Aroha that he would make an effort with ‘the boy’, the first thing Gray did when he saw him was demand a cup of tea. Wiremu made the tea and then made himself scarce. Aroha said he could ride his bi
ke into town while she and Gray talked.
After riding round town for a couple of hours, he returned home to be greeted by Aroha’s nervous eyes and tight smile. He felt the blood leave his face as he digested the news he knew was coming.
‘Gray and I are getting back together. We can be a family now Wiremu.’
He wanted to scream.
‘I’ll take over. I’ll talk to him.’ Gray propelled him into the lounge, just like the man who’d pushed him to the back of Thistle’s Sweet Shop. He leaned over Wiremu.
‘I wanna know something. Do you think you can behave yourself? Your mother and me are getting back together. Knew she couldn’t do without me. You better be on your best behaviour now. Keep outta my hair and things’ll be just fine.’ Used to getting his own way, Gray jabbed a crooked finger at him. ‘Understand?’
Wiremu felt the colour rush back into his face, and with it his courage. He wasn’t as pale as white chocolate anymore. His face now resembled a glo-heart. All along he hadn’t wanted to hurt his mum, but he’d had enough. He couldn’t bear the thought of living in fear of Gray. He pulled back his shoulders and stood tall, looking Gray directly in the eye.
‘Yes, I understand.’ His voice grew louder with each word. ‘I understand that you are a mean, horrible man, no good for my mother.’ Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Aroha had rushed to the doorway. A worried expression creased her forehead. Instead of covering things up as he normally would when she was around, he continued. He’d had enough of Gray. Let his mother see Gray’s true colours.
‘You don’t know how to make us be a family. We don’t need you and I HATE you!’
Quick as a flash, like being struck by lightning, he felt Gray’s hand connect with his cheek. It stung like crazy. He was too angry to be scared. Wiremu glared at Gray, as Aroha gently took him by the arm, guiding him out of the house.
‘Wiremu, go over to Nora’s. I need to talk to Gray.’
He waited at Nora’s. Finally, Aroha arrived. She switched off the TV and sat on the old couch, turning to face him. He wasn’t able to read her expression, though her face looked different somehow. She wrapped him in a tight hug. He felt her breathing change as she started to sob.
‘I’m so sorry. I heard you talking to Dharma. I thought you wanted …’
‘A dad. I do, I mean I did. Just …’
‘Not Gray.’
‘No, not him.’ He was relieved his mother finally knew how he really felt about Gray.
‘He’s gone for good.’ Aroha met his eyes with a determination he’d not seen in her before. ‘You don’t have to worry about him ever again.’ She brushed away her tears. ‘I’m so sorry, my son. He shouldn’t have hit you.’
‘And you, Mum.’
Aroha’s eyes widened. ‘He never hit me.’
‘Not with his hands, anyway.’
He was solemn as realisation flooded his mother’s face.
‘I … I always felt there was something wrong …’
He hated seeing his mother upset like this. ‘It’s OK Mum.’
‘I just want it to be the two of us as a family now. We don’t need anyone else.’ He noticed a smile forming on his mother’s tear-streaked face.
‘Except maybe … a cat.’ His hopeful eyes pleaded his case. ‘I miss Dharma.’
‘So do I.’ Aroha laughed. ‘Make that a family of three.’
Wiremu exhaled, the knot unravelling from his insides.
Now they were settling in Whanganui, Nora didn’t waste any time putting Aroha to work. ‘I’m happy you’re staying on. No use beating around the bush: when can you start, Aroha? I’ve got a huge order to fill for the weekend.’
Wiremu smiled as Aroha’s eyes lit up at the thought of all that baking. ‘Right away, Nora.’
She turned to him. ‘I could do with an assistant, if you want to earn some pocket money.’
‘Gee, thanks Mum.’
His mother’s arm draped across his shoulder; he felt blanketed by a sense of warmth. She grinned at him.
‘Sounds like we’re going to be busy. How are you about all this change Wiremu?’
‘Good, cos this time it is different, Mum.’
The Adventures of the Giant and the Ruru
Sharon Clair
In your longing for your giant self lies your goodness
Kahlil Gibran – The Prophet
There once was a girl who lived her days with the spirits of the wind and forest, sea and mountains. She looked to the sun, and loved to feel it on her face as she sat on the ground drawing pictures in the dust. She would watch the other children in her village playing and having fun with each other and wanted to join them, but something always stopped her from doing that, so she continued to draw her pictures and talk to the wind, the birds and all creatures that her eyes gazed upon. Her name was Atawhai, and she made friends with unfriendly dogs that were used for hunting. She sang songs to them in secret, knowing that she and her brothers and sisters had been told to stay away from them. They were not pets for playing with; they were hunters: their job was to kill and provide for the family. She sang songs to the pīwakawaka in her nan’s forest, and life in the sun was pretty good.
At night in bed, she would sometimes be afraid, for the dark scared her: secret things were revealed and told to her that she did not understand. She shivered at the memory of being alone in the dark, for it was during one of these dark times she had found herself in a land full of bones. Bones scattered everywhere – human bones. Somehow she was in the giant’s lair: she could hear him, she could feel his breath and she was very frightened. He was guarding something, and she saw he had eaten the flesh of her kind who went there. She hid, and hoped he wouldn’t know her living presence there. Atawhai didn’t know why she was here in this place, and hoped she wouldn’t have to face this giant: not now, not ever. It was all too scary, and she was too little and didn’t know what she could do against a thing so big, so hungry and so mean. She was shivering with fear, and all she could think to do was pray: E tō mātou Matua i te Rangi kia tapu tō ingoa. It was a prayer her koro had taught her. Then she felt safe, and the experience ended abruptly without her seeing the giant; without knowing why she was taken there in the first place, not able to make any sense of the whole thing at all. But glad anyway, to be away from there. That was the night she met her ruru. And with this memory she felt warm and safe once again, and the feelings of fear left her again. But there was also a sadness that came with that memory.
After that first night of meeting the ruru she would listen out for his call, and silently talk to all ruru near, inviting them to rest with her if they were tired. They never did, except for one. And those times of him stopping by seemed far and long between: she missed him and would tell him this, and ask him ‘Where are you going? Why don’t you stay with me? Why do you always leave?’ He never answered those questions, and when he would go Atawhai would hope he was happy, and always longed for his safe return.
Whenever she was around her whare, the caretaker would say, ‘Your mate has been here, making noise all night; you know your kuia doesn’t like it, and it scares her.’
Atawhai would laugh and say ‘There’s nothing to be afraid of; it’s not scary.’ And she would wait for night to fall so she could hear her friend, who helped her to not be afraid of the dark through feelings of safety and warmth. Sometimes she would sit and listen for him. He would come and hoot hoot, and as her heart lifted with love and joy she would welcome his visit and thank him for coming to where she was.
The days would come, the wind would blow and she would know secrets of the world. She would be swept away sometimes in the wind, and see people and places far from where she came from; sometimes not so far. Sometimes the wind would wrap all around her like a shield as she was about to enter a home, and she knew it was there to help clear out what wouldn’t be cleared.
She kept these mysteries to herself, and experienced her human life as a stranger. One night she was taken on a l
ong journey. She found herself on a winding road but she wasn’t walking this road; she was flying. She wasn’t being carried by the wind; she was flying. She soared, and wings would be spread, and she noticed she could see for miles and miles and miles. She was so happy. Then she saw on the path below an old man: he was alone walking. Behind him was a long, long winding road, in front of him was a long, long winding road, and there was no other in sight. He was all alone but for her, high above him. She thought once again she was being carried on the wings of her ruru, but this was not the case: it was Atawhai who was flying; it was Atawhai who was seeing through her manu eyes, not the eyes of her dear one. She dived lower, and her heart leapt for joy. She knew this old man: it was her koro. But not her koro from her childhood; this was a koro of old, and she knew him: somehow she knew him. Without looking up he stretched out his arm for her to land on like a perch. She did, and turned into herself. Talking to her koro, she asked him what he was doing; where he was going; why he was alone. ‘Always questions,’ he said to her.
‘Oh Koro,’ she said, ‘you know what I mean.’ And they walked a while with each other. He was searching for his home, but ‘You know where home is Koro, you lived there.’
‘Not that home my love; I can’t go back there.’
‘But why, Koro?’
‘More questions, Moko, he would say, and laugh. ‘Because I have a new home that waits for me.’
‘Then I will help you find it, Koro. I can’t stay all the time with you, but I will go ahead, and I will go to the east and I will go to the west and I will go north and I will go south, Koro. I will help you find your new home.’
Days passed and she hadn’t been flying for ever so long. She missed her koro, and cried for him, remembering he was all alone and walking so far with no company and lots and lots of winding road to walk. She cried herself to sleep after many prayers for her koro, and found herself feeling that same freedom of flight: the soaring high above the land and in the wide open spaces of life. She looked and looked, and would dive down towards the land and take herself back up again. She loved this life. She loved gliding in the air; she loved her ability, and she loved her koro. Searching as a child searches, relentlessly, she finally glimpsed a figure on the path below, with his tokotoko in hand and his korowai around him. She knew that shape; she knew the strength of that stride and the tallness of the body that held that strength. He was like a walking tree, solid and never ceasing: it was Koro. She called out and he looked up, and stretched out his arm. She landed happily. This time she had brought him a friend to go some of the way with him after she had gone. She had brought him her little kurī friend Popi, who loved Koro and loved walking with Koro and Atawhai. The three of them walked and talked. Popi barked excitedly, happy to be on an adventure. Koro thought she was real neat, and welcomed her company. He looked at his moko and saw she was no longer a little girl but a woman. ‘It has been a little while, Moko, since I saw you last: you have become a woman in what was a moment to me.’ She told him her life stories and her learning, in hope that it might point to his new home. Many years had her koro been walking. He was lonely; she could see that, and she was happy to leave her little Popi with him.
Huia Short Stories 9 Page 2
