She walked closer, the perfume I’d become so fond of lingering in the air.
“You helped me open up, Richie. You helped me come back to life.”
“Oh, Tillie,” I said, shaking my head. “That was all you. I was just along for the ride.”
“You showed me what it meant to have fun again, to feel alive again, Richie.”
“It was my pleasure, trust me,” I replied.
“I know you wanted to buy Cowboys and you couldn’t. But I’m hoping I can offer you something better.”
“I don’t understand.”
She sighed, before a huge smile spread across her face.
“You’re standing in it.”
“What?”
“This used to be a nightclub and inn, but it’s been deserted for a decade. The outbuildings were little bungalows that people rented by the night. Back in it’s day, it was a bustling little place, full of life. I think it has a lot of potential, don’t you?”
“Potential for what?”
“A new club. Our club.”
“Tillie…” I said, shaking my head.
“I have some ideas, in fact, I have a lot of ideas, they won’t stop coming, honestly,” she continued. “First, a complete remodel. The place has good bones, but it needs a ton of help. It shouldn’t take long, though, a few months tops. And once it’s successful and we’re on our feet, we can even think about expanding.”
“We? Tillie, what in the world are you talking about?”
“I bought it, Richie!” she said. “This whole place. It’s mine now. Ours, if you’re willing.”
“Ours?”
“I want you to be my business partner, Richie. Let’s open our own strip club! You can have complete creative control, of course, because you know what works and what doesn’t. But the sky’s the limit! We can really make something of this place. We can make a future. We’re both in transition. Let’s seize the opportunity and do something fun. I have the money. I have the motivation. And so do you. Let me help.”
“Business partner?”
“Yes,” she nodded, excitedly.
“Wow, Tillie…” I whispered.
“But I’m not finished, there’s more” she said. “I fell in love with Daine and Blaze and Fox. I want you all to move here, to work here, and we can hire others, too, of course. I have a huge, beautiful, empty house not far from here. I want you all to move in with me, free of charge! I mean, you’ll have your own bedroom of course, I’m not moving that fast,” she laughed.
“Tillie, this is very generous of you,” I replied, shaking my head.
“Doesn’t it sound great? We can be a family at home, and I can handle all the finances, you guys can dance, or do whatever job you prefer. Maybe you just want to run the place, it’s up to you. You get to call the shots, Richie.”
“You bought this place for me?” I asked, the reality of what she was saying finally sinking in.
“I did.”
I shook my head, looking around, trying to do the math in my head. This was prime Hollywood real estate, there’s no way in hell this place was cheap.
It was too much.
It was so damned sweet, and my heart was breaking from the kindness she was offering, but it was way too much to accept.
“Tillie,” I said, resisting the urge to pull her into my arms. This wasn’t the time for that. “I can’t believe you did this. It’s amazing, it really is, and I think this officially makes you the nicest person I’ve ever known.”
She smiled and shrugged.
“I just think it could be a really great adventure for us all and I truly believe it’ll be very successful. We can build up the hype, make it luxurious and fun and unique. I think in no time at all it could really be a destination spot. There’s a lot of money to be made, Richie. Let’s do it together.”
I took a deep breath, ignoring the crack in my heart as I let the next words slide from my tongue.
“I’m sorry, Tillie. I can’t do it. I just can’t.”
CHAPTER 33
TILLIE
As Richie walked out the door, my heart ripped apart.
The limo whisked him away into the fading sunset, taking all my dreams with him. I’d known it was a long shot. He was a man full of pride, that was obvious. And what I was offering was beyond premature, too generous, and basically insane. Buying the property without consulting him first was risky. I’d blindsided him, which was overwhelming, I’m sure.
I’d just gotten so damned excited.
Maybe I’d gone about it the wrong way. But I wanted to make a grand gesture, because he’d done so much for me, even if his contribution seemed like a small one compared to this.
But the look in his eyes told me his refusal was serious.
It was too much.
I’d gone too far, way too fast.
He was gone before I could even try to stop him. Although, I’m not sure what more I could have said to make him change his mind. I wasn’t about to beg. All I could do was offer.
He turned me down.
Fair enough…
I drove back home with a heavy heart, contemplating my next move. It might take a little while, but I could resell the property and make my money back without too much hassle. I wasn’t worried about that.
This left me back at square one and that’s what hurt the most. I’d been so excited about this since Mario put the idea in my head. My heart swelled with hope the first time I viewed the property, after my real estate agent convinced me to look at it, even if it was a little run down.
I saw the potential.
In fact, I clearly saw it all, everything it could be. Like a movie, I filled in the details with my imagination, coloring in the corners with happiness and togetherness and love and hope, that now was bashed like a car off a cliff.
Now, I had none of that left, I had nothing but me, my tomcats, and my big, lonely house…
CHAPTER 34
RICHIE
After checking into a cheap hotel room in a seedy section of Hollywood, I lay staring up at the white popcorn ceiling, my head replaying Tillie’s words over and over.
Astounded that she would go to such lengths, that she would be so incredibly generous, I found it impossible to wrap my head around why she would do something like that.
Who does that?
Without even asking first?
It was wild.
It was daring, and bold, and so freakin’ unexpected and out of the blue that I had to respect it a little, you know?
First of all, I was beyond flattered.
Like when the guys handed me that check, all their savings easily placed in my hands, as if they trusted me with such a huge undertaking, I was overwhelmed with humility that I was the one they’d given that trust to.
And now, Tillie just assumed I’d be up for the job? That I’d be good enough to pull off something like she described? The fact that she had such confidence in me blew my mind.
I mean, sure, I could do it, I thought.
It wouldn’t be easy, of course.
With a lot of hard work, some serious muscle and elbow grease, and a hell of a lot of money, it could definitely be done. And sure, I knew the industry like the back of my hand. I knew what the customers wanted. Two decades of catering to women had taught me a lot. I’d been taking money from them in exchange for putting smiles on their faces for years.
But this was so fucking different.
This wasn’t taking money from a customer.
This was taking money from Tillie, beautiful, sweet Tillie…
And there was something so wrong with that.
My heart ached as I thought of the look in her eyes as I’d said no. I wanted nothing more than to please her, to make her smile, to make her happy.
I wanted to give her the world.
Taking the world from her just seemed twisted. Like the universe was playing some wicked game with me, offering up everything I’d ever wanted but with a mandatory side of thorns on the
side.
Thorns…Tillie Thorne.
If life is a test, I’m failing miserably at it.
I wondered what my folks would say, what Daine and the guys would say, if they knew what I was lying on this scratchy bedspread thinking about, if they knew what I’d given up today.
Daine would say I was crazy.
Blaze and Fox would say I was being stubborn and stupid.
And my Mom? Clear as day, I heard her voice in my ear.
“Richard, you know what I do when I can’t decide? I close my eyes and I imagine what the result of each of my decisions would feel like. If I like the way it feels, then that’s what I choose…”
I smiled, closing my eyes.
“Okay, Ma,” I muttered, letting my imagination take over for just a little while.
I saw flashing neon lights, and well-dressed women streaming around me, Tillie’s hand on my arm…
Loud, sexy music pouring out into the hot California night, the smell of jasmine in the air, my friend’s smiles from the stage…
I saw the bungalows out back, and all sorts of activities offered up there…
I could see it. I could see it all.
But it was what I didn’t see that truly got to me, like a gut punch out of nowhere…
What I didn’t see was Barry.
What I didn’t see was musty old carpet and a dwindling bank account.
What I didn’t see was me spinning my wheels and getting absolutely nowhere.
Tillie was right.
It could work.
All it would take would be me saying yes…
Me, swallowing my pride and accepting help from a woman I barely knew, but that I’d felt like I’d known all my life.
And with the whole mind-blowing package of a new club and a new home, comes an incredible woman like Tillie.
My father would have taken one look at Tillie and told me I was crazy to pass her up. My father was a wise man. A man who’s advice I trusted with all my soul. And maybe he was gone, maybe Ma was gone, but their words still lived inside of me.
Their wisdom was a part of me.
Denying that would impossible.
And really fucking stupid.
CHAPTER 35
TILLIE
“I can’t believe he just took off,” Mario said, shaking his head in deep disapproval. I’d called him when I got home, desperately needing to talk to someone. To my surprise, he showed up twenty minutes later with a bottle of tequila and a box of chocolates. “I thought you said he was intelligent?”
“He is!” I insisted. “I guess it was just too much for him.”
“You know what it is, darlin’?” he asked.
“What?” I said, sniffing.
“Fucking pride! It’s like a disease that men suffer from, trust me. He’s probably too proud to accept such an offer from a woman.”
“Maybe.”
“It’s stupid, really,” he said. “If it wasn’t for women, those men wouldn’t even have been born! They should be thankful and humble. But no, they have to be big, bad men and do everything for themselves.”
“You sound like you know what you’re talking about,” I said.
“I’ve plenty of experience with males like that, straight or gay. And I’m a dude, remember.”
“You’re probably right,” I said. “But how do I convince him to let the pride thing go?”
“You don’t, bae,” he said. “Once a man, always a man.”
“That’s depressing.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Have another shot,” he said, pouring tequila completely to the brim of my glass. I downed it gratefully, the warmth spreading into my chest, relaxing my shoulders a little more with each passing moment.
“Men are complicated, Tillie,” he said, stroking my hair as I leaned my head on his shoulder. “You’ll get used to it.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said. “I think I’m happy with just my cats. And you.”
“You’ll change your mind,” he said. “Once the sting of all this wears off. And trust me, that man is probably somewhere kicking himself right this second.”
We jumped as the doorbell rang.
“Expecting someone?” he asked. “It’s almost midnight.”
“No,” I replied, shaking my head, and pulling myself to my feet. I wobbled to the door on shaky legs, peeking through the peephole. I gasped when I saw it was Richie. Turning back to Mario, I said, “It’s him!”
“Of course it is!” he cried, clapping his hands. “Open it!”
“Right,” I said, slowly opening the door.
Richie stood there, all ocean blue eyes and a sheepish smile, the driver I’d hired earlier standing behind him.
“I bribed this guy to bring me to your house,” Richie said, gesturing to the driver behind him.
“Ms. Thorne, I hope this is okay?” Johnnie, the driver stepped up.
“Of course, Johnnie, thank you,” I said.
“Very well, ma’am,” he nodded and disappeared into the shadows, leaving me staring up at Richie.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hi,” he replied, “can we talk?”
“Of course, come in,” I said, stepping back. He stepped in, whistling as he looked around at the marble grand staircase that curved up to the second floor.
“Daine was right. You really are rich,” he said.
“Yeah, I guess so,” I replied. “I should have made that more clear, maybe?”
He nodded and smiled as he gazed over at me.
He was stunning, standing there in my foyer with those eyes, that body, that smile that I’d longed to see again.
“Come in,” I said, breaking his gaze as I walked into the living room. Mario stood there with his hands clasped in front of him, a huge smile on his face, his eyes sparkling with excitement and delight like he was watching Macy’s Christmas Day parade or something.
“Mario, this is Richie,” I said. “Richie, this is my friend and hairdresser Mario. I think I might have mentioned him.”
“Yes,” Richie said, shaking Mario’s hand. Mario stared at him in awe.
“Well, you’re even prettier than Tillie described,” Mario said.
“Thanks,” Richie laughed. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too, handsome,” Mario said, his eyes raking over Richie like a sweet dessert he wanted to taste. “Mmm, hmmm. Well, I think this is my queue to exit. Toodles, Richie!”
Mario turned to me and kissed my cheek, whispering in my ear.
“You got this,” he winked, before walking towards the front door, leaving us alone in the living room. I faced him, my heart racing in my chest.
“I owe you an apology, Tillie,” Richie said.
“No, you don’t,” I insisted.
“Please, let me apologize. I need this,” he said. I nodded and sat down, gesturing for him to sit next to me. His thigh pressed against mine as he sank down on the couch next to me. “I really am sorry I stood you up, first of all. You’re a wonderful woman and you didn’t deserve that.”
“I already accepted that apology.”
“So you did.”
He looked around, his eyes trailing over my home slowly. Reaching up, he ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head.
“Your offer caught me off guard.”
“I know.”
“I’ve never had anyone offer me anything like that before.”
“I figured.”
“It’s very generous,” he said. “So much so that it only seemed right to refuse it. Out of respect for you.”
“I wouldn’t have made the offer without thinking it through first. I wouldn’t have made it if I didn’t really think it would work.”
“I get that,” he said, reaching over and grabbing my hand, his eyes crashing into mine again. “The thing is — it’s crazy, it’s wild, and yeah, it’s a huge risk. But you might be on to something. It might just work.”
“That’s what I think, too,” I said,
my heart soaring.
“But that’s not why I’m here.”
“It’s not?” I asked, my heart sinking right back down like a roller-coaster.
“No.”
“Then why?”
He squeezed my hand, leaning in, his intense gaze peering deep into mine.
“I’m here, Tillie, because of you. Because I can’t stop thinking about you since the moment I met you. Because, somehow, you’ve gotten under my skin. Because I’ve never felt the way I do when you look at me.”
“Oh, Richie…”
“Yeah, this is all too soon, I know that. Maybe we’re crazy, maybe not. But my life is crazy and it always has been. And yet, everything up to this point has led me here, right now, to you. And I don’t care if that’s crazy. Because if loving you is crazy, then sign me up for the nuthouse.”
“Richie…”
“You’re so beautiful, Tillie,” he said, reaching out and cradling my cheek, his warm hand caressing my skin. “I can’t think of a better beginning to our story than embarking on this adventure together.”
“Really? You’re in?”
“I’m in,” he said, nodding firmly. “On one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“I buy in. I’ve got my savings. I want it to all be equal between us. I’ll pay off the rest with my earnings until we’re fifty/fifty.”
“That’s fine,” I said. “Whatever makes you feel better.”
“Good, it’s a deal then!”
“Oh, Richie, I’m so excited!” I cried. He pulled me into his arms, his lips landing on mine, his kiss hot and searing and urgent.
“There’s just one more thing we have to do,” he said, pulling away and smiling down at me.
“What’s that?”
“I owe you a date.”
“Oh,” I said, laughing, my heart soaring. “Can we skip the dinner part and just start at the good stuff?”
“I was hoping you’d say that,” he said, his lips crashing onto mine, his hands sliding over my body sensuously before he lifted me completely off the couch.
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