by Jamie Pope
“You don’t,” Mansi said firmly.
“What do you think, Cass?”
“I don’t know. I have no idea what I would do in that situation. I agree with you. If someone hurt my baby I would want them dead. But I can see Tanner’s point as well. As long as your ex is alive, there’s a chance that he could contact Teo, and you don’t want your son to blame you for keeping such a huge secret from him.”
She didn’t, but Teo was so innocent and she wanted to keep him that way for as long as she could.
She left Mansi’s house, picked up Teo from school, and then took him to his soccer practice. She was sitting on the other side of the field in her usual spot away from the other parents. She had sat here alone plenty of times before but this week it was lonely.
Teo had asked her if Tanner was coming this evening. He had asked her about him a half dozen times since she had gotten back from Nantucket. He missed him and that was going to be a problem, a big one if she moved them to the other side of the country. It was her fault. She should have prevented them from getting close. She should have kept her and Tanner’s relationship to sex only, conducted in secret. There should have been no dinners. No sleepovers. No extra time spent together. She couldn’t take it back now and a huge part of her didn’t because she believed that knowing Tanner enriched Teo’s life. He saw firsthand how a man was supposed to treat a woman. It was something he would have never learned from his father.
She heard heavy footsteps behind her and she turned to see him standing there. His clothes looked a little better than the work clothes she had gotten so used to seeing him in.
“Why don’t you look like a bum?” she asked him, instead of saying what her heart wanted her to. I missed you. I’m glad you’re here.
“More new clothes.” He sat down next to her and all those silly girlish feelings returned. It was like the first time she had seen him. So strong. So tall. So damn handsome. It didn’t matter that they had been together before. The rush was still there. The fluttering heart. The butterflies in her stomach. She had a weakness when it came to him and she found it incredibly annoying. “The sales guy suckered me in when I went to get clothes for the trip.”
He was wearing colors that were a change from his normal set of dark blues, black, and grays. “I like this color green on you. It looks beautiful with your skin tone.” She brushed her fingers up his arm. His skin was growing darker, more olive. So vastly different from his grandfather and father who were as about as dark as milk.
“What do you think I am?” he asked her.
“A very tall man. Or maybe an alien that they disguised to look like a man.”
“I meant my ethnicity. My mother’s side is English. So there’s no color there. I don’t think I’m just white.”
“Do you have a problem with that?”
“No.” He kissed the side of her face. “I’ve never been attracted to those waspy girls I grew up with. There’s something about brown skin and dark hair that makes me unable to think straight.”
“I’ve always been drawn to incredibly beautiful men. That’s why I get in trouble so much.”
“Do you think I’m trouble, Nova?”
“The worst kind of trouble.” She turned her head to kiss his lips. “I’m scared to death of you.” It was the truth. She was scared of what feeling this much represented.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?”
“No. I’m not apologizing to you.”
“I’m not apologizing to you, either. I meant what I said, but it doesn’t mean I want to be away from you.”
They were never going to agree on this. He would always think she was lying and she would always think that she was protecting her son. “I want to sleep in the same bed as you tonight.”
“Stay at my house. It feels empty without you and Teo in it.” He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. He was so open with his feelings. He was able to say so much more than she could. How was it so easy for him?
“Maybe things are moving too fast. Maybe we’re seeing each other too much.”
“Who cares? We like being with each other. We don’t like being apart. It’s a no-brainer. You’re just afraid of falling in love with me.”
“Oh, shut up. I wouldn’t love you if my life depended on it.”
“Keep up the trash talking, Reed. It only makes me more determined.”
“Mr. Tanner!” Teo came flying toward him, leaping into Tanner’s arms. “You came. Mommy said you weren’t, but you came. I missed you.”
“My boy.” Tanner wrapped him in a hug and kissed the side of his face. It was another very fatherly thing to do. It was natural and sweet and made her heart hurt and it also made her worry about what it would do to Teo if he never got to see Tanner again. “I’m going to take you and Mommy out for dinner and then we are going to sleep at my house.”
“Is the school bus going to find me there?”
“I’ll take you to school. You don’t have to worry. Go finish your practice. I’ll see you soon.”
“Okay.” He ran off and not two minutes after he was gone, one of the mothers came over to them.
“Hi, Nova. I’m Jackie. I don’t know if you remember me.”
“I do. You’re from New York. You moved here just after Christmas. I cut three inches off your hair in February. You were afraid of the change, but you look hot.”
“I think so.” She grinned. “I just came over to tell you that you did an amazing job with the vice president’s daughter. You turned a plain girl into a princess and that must have took some work.”
“It was a fun job. She let me do what I wanted.”
“Do you have any appointments available anytime soon? I think it’s time for another visit.”
“I don’t have anything free at the shop this week, but I can come to your house tomorrow after Teo gets home from school. I’ll do it for free if you give me free reign to do what I want and then let me put your picture in my portfolio.”
“It’s a deal. Bring your son. And you can come, too, Tanner. My husband just bought a smoker. He needs a manly man to talk about meat with and drink beer.”
“Okay.” He grinned. “Your husband is Bobby, right? I met him at the hardware store last week. He’s a funny guy.”
“Mr. Fix It.” She shook her head. “We’ve spent more money repairing the things he broke while fixing. Maybe you could give him a few pointers.”
“Happily.”
“Why don’t you two sit with us in the bleachers?”
“The other mothers think I’m going to steal their husbands.”
“You mean the robot wives with the two percent body fat and the twin sets?”
“Yup.”
“Screw em. I need a friend up here in the land of the yuppies. You come and sit with me.”
“Come on, Nova.” Tanner bumped her shoulder. “Let’s go sit with the other parents.”
The other parents. He was including himself like he was one. Like he wanted to be one. And the scary part about it was that she could see him being a good father. A very good father to her son.
Chapter 14
Tanner came up behind Nova in his kitchen and wrapped his arms around her as she was making Teo’s lunch. It was nearly the end of May and more nights than not Nova and Teo stayed over at his house. They had never talked about their disagreement since that day. He was pretty sure he would be wasting his breath trying to convince her to tell her son the truth. But in reality he had no right to say anything to her about how she dealt with her son, because Teo was her son. Not his. Not theirs. But he loved the kid. Missed him when he wasn’t around.
It was beginning to get hard to imagine a life without them, and that meant they had to move forward. He was just too damn crazy about her not to. But he wasn’t sure how she felt about things. He knew he couldn’t rush her, because she would close herself off, pull away. He kept reminding himself that she had been hurt before. Too many times to count. He just had to be ther
e for her. Show her that she could trust him to always be there for her.
“How’s your grandfather?” she asked him.
“He’s fine.” He kissed the back of her neck. She had her hair piled high on the back of her head in a messy bun. Her feet were bare. Her face clean of all makeup. “You look so pretty tonight.”
“Do I? My hair is a mess and I just washed my face. It must be the lighting in this kitchen. Remind me to take all my selfies in here.”
“I like the freshly scrubbed look.”
“I thought you liked me in red lipstick and high heels.”
“I like you like that too, but this is the side of you only I get to see. I get a part of you no one else does.”
“Stop being sweet to me. You know I don’t like it,” she said, but she leaned her head back to rest on his chest for a moment.
“What are you making this boy for lunch? You’ve been in here for twenty minutes.”
“I do these bento box things for him a few times a week. Half the time he wants to buy lunch in school, but at least twice a week Teo gets the most elaborate time-consuming lunch I can make him.”
“The sandwich is in the shape of a frog’s head.”
“And he’s wearing a little crown.”
“How did you make it green?”
“It’s made from lettuce. He won’t eat anything green unless I make it look cool. I’m making a beaver sandwich next time. It’s going to have the cutest little cheese teeth.”
“I hope he appreciates all the work you put into this.”
“I do it for me more than him. I’m just hoping when he’s an adult he remembers that I made these lunches and not just all the times I had to be gone for school or work.”
“He’ll remember this. My mom never made me a damn thing. I wish somebody had loved me this much to make elaborate lunches for me when I was a kid.”
“I’m sure other moms who don’t do this love their kid just as much as I love mine.”
“I’m sure they do, too. Do you think you could take a long weekend for Memorial Day? My grandfather arranged it so that Teo could get a private tour of a battleship.”
“I had already planned to take off a couple of days and maybe take Teo down to Boston.”
Boston? Was she planning to take Teo there to show him where he would eventually be living? Or just for fun? He purposely didn’t bring up their future plans because he didn’t want to rush her, but he was thinking maybe he should. He didn’t think she would make plans to move away without telling him, but maybe she would. Maybe this was one-sided.
But it couldn’t be. He saw the way she looked at him. She was happy. There was no denying it.
“The ship is in D.C. There’s some fancy fund-raising thing my mother will be in town for.”
“Ah, the showdown with your mother is finally upon us. You know I have to be there for that. The fancy fund-raising thing you can count me out of. You know the thought of hanging out with all those rich people gives me hives.”
“Aw, come on, baby. You know the only reason I date you is to show you off to my friends.” He kissed her cheek.
“Well, that’s too damn bad.” She sighed. “I’ll go if you need me to, but you know how I feel about stuff like that.”
“I’m kidding. I’d rather eat live bees than go to one of those things. But you wouldn’t need to feel uncomfortable. You’re just as smart as everyone else there. I wish you would stop thinking about yourself that way.”
“I’ll feel better once I get my diploma. At least I can say I finished.”
He let go of her and leaned against the counter beside her. “Let me take you on vacation this summer to celebrate. Take two weeks off. We can take Teo to Disney and then we can hop on a plane to the Keys. Or we could head out of the country. Maybe to Europe.”
“You know I’m trying to save up. I can’t afford to go to Europe.”
“Do you think you would have to pay for a single thing while we were away? I would take care of everything.”
“I should pay half. It’s only right.”
“You should pay for nothing. I invited you. I want to take you away. I would pay.”
“I feel bad enough when I let you buy us dinner and pay for all the groceries.”
“We’ve been through this before. I make good money working with Wylie. Enough to take you on vacation. And there’s the other money. Just tucked away. You would never have to work again.”
Her expression changed and he saw anger flash in her eyes. “I like working. I love my job. It’s the only thing I’ve ever been any good at.”
“I know you love working. You’re amazing at your job.”
“Are you suggesting I give it up and let some man take care of me?”
“No, of course not. I was just letting you know that I have the ability to take care of you. That you don’t have to worry about money. I want to do things for you.”
“I had to stay with my husband because he was taking care of me. I’ll never put myself in that kind of position again. I swore the day I divorced him that I would never let another man take care of me again.”
“That’s crap. He wasn’t taking care of you. He was abusing you.”
“But he had the apartment and the car and all the money and I had nothing. No way out. No way of escaping him.”
“I’m not him. And this situation is different. Taking care of a person is not just about the money and you know that. It’s about wanting the best for them. Trying to make them happy. Being there when you need them.”
“I want to do that for you,” she yelled at him.
“And I want to do that for you, but you won’t let me.”
“You knew what you were getting into when we started this. You know I wanted to leave this island and start a new life.”
“I’m not asking you to change the course of your life for me. I’m just asking you to go on vacation.”
“Okay,” she relented. “We’ll go. Wherever you want. I’ll shut up and be happy about it.”
He nodded, but her agreement didn’t feel like a victory. Instead it felt like the crack between them got bigger. He knew if he had such a hard time convincing her to go away with him, he was going to have a hell of a time convincing her to spend the rest of her life with him.
* * *
“I feel human again.” Cass was admiring herself in the mirror and smiling. Nova had loved her sister-in-law immediately when she had met her. Cass was calm, levelheaded, and effortlessly pretty. She had a serenity about her that could soothe even the wildest of beasts, and that’s why she was perfect for her brother. “Thank you for cutting my hair. I looked like a hot mess, but your brother is a big fat liar and will only tell me I’m beautiful.”
“You popped his firstborn out of a very sensitive place. If that man calls you anything but beautiful, you kick him in his man parts. Better yet, I’ll kick him in his man parts.”
“You don’t know how many times I have wished you were a boy instead of a girl.” Wylie stood in the doorway, their daughter in his arms.
“Is it because if I were a man, you would punch me?” Nova asked with a grin.
“You got it. I guess you’ve got some brains in that big head of yours.” He kissed Sunny’s cheek. “She’s bathed and changed. I think she wants her mama now.”
“Are you hungry, little one?” Cass got up and collected her daughter, looking so naturally maternal that it pained Nova a little. Cass was born to be a mother. Maybe it was why she chose to be a kindergarten teacher before she came here. Nova was an uneasy new mother. Nothing felt natural. She never felt she was doing anything right.
“Take a walk with me on the beach, little sister.”
Wylie was looking at her. There was concern in his eyes. She could take annoyance from her brother, even anger, but she didn’t like it when he looked at her the way that he did at the moment.
“Are you going to drown me, big brother?”
“I wouldn’t admit that in fro
nt of Cass. I don’t want any witnesses.”
“I’m your wife, baby. They can’t make me testify against you in court.”
Nova gasped. “You’re supposed to be my best friend.”
“He’s a good kisser.” She grinned at him. “Go for a walk. I’m going to feed my baby.”
Nova went with her brother, leaving her heels on the path that led to the beach. It was getting much warmer. She and Tanner and Teo were set to go to Washington, D.C. that Friday afternoon. She was nervous about the trip. She still hadn’t been able to shake off the argument she’d had with Tanner.
He wanted to get serious. And she was finding herself falling into the same pattern that she’d had with Elijah. Moving way too fast, too soon. She had to break that cycle, because this time when things fell apart it would be much, much worse.
“Why did you want to take a walk, Wylie?”
“We haven’t talked in a while.”
“We haven’t talked ever, you dumb jarhead.”
“That’s because you have such a big damn mouth that I can only tolerate very short interactions with you. If I’m near you longer than five minutes, I want to shake the hell out of you.”
“Well, you had better talk fast. We’re nearing the time limit.”
“I want to know about Teo’s father.”
“Cass told you, huh?” she asked quietly.
“You knew she would. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What would you have done if I had?”
“Don’t ask questions you know the answer to.”
“That’s why I didn’t tell you. Besides, you were overseas when it happened.”
“If he comes near you, I’ll kill him. Although Tanner might beat me to the punch.”
“You talked to Tanner about this?”
“Tanner’s family has a lot of power. I think if he wanted to arrange for a man to be roughed up in prison, he could do it.”
She stopped walking. She wanted to shrug off the idea as just talk, but Tanner had a dark side. He had been to war. He had done things that most people were never forced to do. “I wouldn’t let him do that.”
