by Jamie Pope
“That’s probably the loveliest thing I have heard all year,” Mrs. Edmonds said.
“Nova, this is my mother, Catherine. Mom, this in my girlfriend, Nova, and her son, Teo.”
“It’s nice to meet you all.” She sat down across from them. Nova knew Catherine hadn’t seen her son in years, but she hadn’t really greeted him. No hugs. No kisses. She treated him more like he was a familiar stranger. It made Nova sad for Tanner. Her mother was a drunk and a hot mess, but there was affection there. Her mother had loved her in her own way.
“I thought your fiancé was going to be joining us,” Tanner said as they began to eat.
“You might meet him tonight. He had to go speak to the owner of the art gallery where he is having his show next week.”
“We won’t be around tonight. I’m taking Nova and Teo on a night tour of D.C.”
“I thought you were here to attend the fundraiser.” She raised one of her sharply pointed brows.
“You know why I’m here, Mother. Let’s not pretend we don’t. We’re all smarter than that.”
“Mommy.” Teo tugged on her skirt. “I thought we was here to see the battleship.”
“We are, baby.” She touched his curls. “You’re going to have a very good weekend.”
* * *
They had made it through brunch. Thankfully his grandfather was a skilled politician and could manage to talk to people for hours without ever really saying anything meaningful. Nova kept up the conversation as well. She was a hell of a lot smarter than she had given herself credit for. She asked his grandmother about their homes and how she decorated them. It was a topic his grandmother was passionate about and it made the brunch less painful.
Tanner’s own mother had said very little, which wasn’t like her at all. He noticed her studying Nova throughout the meal. Taking in every inch of her. His mother never liked any of his girlfriends, not that he brought many home, but when he did, she always seemed to find some kind of fault in them.
She had been incredibly possessive over him as a child. He had thought then it was because she loved him when his father didn’t seem to want to, but now as he looked back, he realized what was going on.
He’s my son, she used to scream at his father.
He was her son. Only her son.
“Let’s go out for cupcakes afterward,” his grandfather cheerfully announced as they got up from the table. “I know a great dessert place not far from the battleship.”
“Dad,” Catherine said. “I think I’m going to skip out on this battleship tour.”
“You’re right,” he said, all traces of humor dropping from his face. “You’re going to stay here and talk to your son about what you should have discussed twenty years ago.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She lifted her head in that haughty way that had always driven Tanner crazy.
It must have driven his grandfather crazy as well. “In my study. Right now,” he snapped, and Tanner felt like he was a sailor on one of his ships. Both he and his mother dutifully went into the study. His grandfather shut the door behind them and said, “It ends today. You ruined your marriage and hurt your son with all your lies, and what’s so bad is that I think you believe your own lies.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Father. You know nothing about my marriage.”
“I know that you are still married and traipsing around the world with some other man. You have no decency or respect for the institution. If you didn’t love your husband you should have ended it years ago. Or you never should have married him in the first place. But you were unhappy, so you had to spread your misery around.”
“Don’t act like I shouldn’t have married him. I knew that it was what you wanted. Two powerful families joined together.”
“You can place the blame on me if you want, but I have never interfered in your relationship with your husband. I never suggested you even go on a date with him. It was your choice to marry him. Your choice to have an affair. And now it’s up to you to make things right.”
“Things are right. Tanner is August’s son.”
His grandfather looked at him. “His name is Richard Powell. He worked for my campaigns back then. I didn’t know for sure when you were a child, but the older you get the more you look like him. For what it’s worth, he was a brilliant strategist and a decent man.”
“How decent could he be?” Tanner asked, surprised he didn’t feel something more after finally hearing the man’s name. “He had an affair with a married woman.”
“It’s a good question.” He shook his head. “One you should ask him yourself one day. As hard as your grandmother and I tried, we still ended up raising a spoiled, entitled princess who doesn’t seem to give a damn about anyone else’s feelings. I didn’t want you to grow up that way. Acting like you could do whatever you want and face none of the consequences. That’s why your father and I were both so hard on you. We wanted you to be a man who could stand on your own. And we’re both proud of you.” He squeezed Tanner’s shoulder. “If you’ll excuse me, we’re going to take a very excited little boy to see a battleship. You talk to your son, Catherine. You owe him that and probably a hell of a lot more.”
He walked out and Tanner was alone with his mother for the first time in as long as he could remember.
She stood there staring at him, pain in her eyes, and he wondered what exactly was hurting her. That she felt bad about keeping his paternity a secret or the fact that she was forced to come to terms that it wasn’t a secret anymore.
“Say something.”
“Your girlfriend is very sexy. I can see why you completely lost your head over her. I don’t think she likes me very much.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He shook his head. “No. We aren’t going to do this your way. You’re not going to try to distract me. You’re going to tell me about my father.”
“He’s in Boston. I think he’s interested in Elizabeth Platten, my old friend. He’s very puritanical though. I don’t think he’ll even ask her out until we’re divorced.”
“Cut the bullshit and talk to me!”
“You watch your mouth. I’m still your mother and you will respect me.”
“It’s hard to respect a woman who hasn’t done a damn thing I can respect.”
“You’re acting like this is all my fault. I thought you loved me and hated him. Why are you on his side now? He spent your entire childhood either barking at you or ignoring you and you act like I was the one who hurt you. I gave you everything you’ve ever wanted.”
“I wanted someone to parent me. Not to spoil me. And if you loved me so much, why haven’t you made an effort to see me in years? Or talk to me? Most mothers would be concerned about their kids being in combat, but I didn’t even get a goddamn letter for you. If it wasn’t for your father I would have felt completely alone. Hell, even Dad had a care package sent every month.”
“He just didn’t want to look like the cold bastard he is.”
“Is that why you did it? Because he was cold?”
“You seem upset with me for cheating on your father. If I hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been born. Your father couldn’t get me pregnant. Why do you think there were no more? I wanted a baby and I got one.”
“You wanted a baby?” He couldn’t believe it. “That’s why you had an affair?”
“Yes, but I loved him, too. He was passionate about helping people and he was brilliant, and if I wasn’t married to your father I would have married him. Societal rules be damned.”
“What rules? If he was so brilliant and honorable, why couldn’t you marry him?”
“Because your father is a black man. I know you think we’ve come a long way, but sometimes people in Boston don’t have the most open minds when it comes to interracial love. At least they didn’t then. How do you think you would have been treated if the world had known?”
“That’s a cop-out. You don’t know for sure what wou
ld have happened. You still should have told me. I had every right to know.”
“I did it to protect you.”
“You did it so no one would talk about you. I don’t believe you really loved him. If you had you would have tried to make it work. The only person you really love is yourself.”
“That’s not fair. You don’t know what I went through.”
He didn’t care what she went through. It was clear to him that she lived her life only to serve herself. “Does he know about me?”
“Why do you care? Are you planning on tracking him down and forcing a relationship?”
“I sure as hell don’t want to try to be a son to a man who doesn’t want to be my father, but I need to know if he knows about me.”
“He didn’t at first. He knows now. You look very much like him,” she admitted straightaway, which was very uncommon for her. “It’s hard to look at you. I see so much of him in you.”
“Where is he?”
“That I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I’m being honest. I haven’t spoken to him in fifteen years.”
“Right around the time I was going into the military.”
“Yes,” she whispered. “I was furious with my father for making you go. I wanted to let Richard know.”
“And what did he say?”
“That it would make a man out of you. He was right. You turned out well.”
“Yes, I did. No thanks to you.”
He walked away from her, left the room, not sure where he was going, but he spotted Nova sitting on the floor near the door, her legs crossed. Her pretty skirt flowed all around her.
“Baby, what are you doing on the floor?”
“Waiting for you. I figured I would have the best chance of catching you if I was blocking the door.”
“Why would you need to catch me?”
“I’m nosy.” She reached out her hand to him. “Help me up. I’m dying to know what she said.”
“Really?” He pulled her up. “That’s why you stayed?”
Her expression grew somber. “I didn’t know if you would need me, but I thought you might want me here.”
He hugged her close to him. “I always want you with me.”
“I can understand if you need to be alone. You can be honest with me if you do. I can still meet your grandparents at the ship. “
“You let Teo go with my grandparents alone? You had trouble leaving him with me at first.”
“I have to be able to trust someone sometime. You taught me that.”
He wasn’t sure when he had fallen in love with Nova. It might have been two months ago. It could have been the day he met her, but he knew right in that moment that there would never be another woman he loved as much as he loved her.
“What time did my grandparents say they would be back?”
“They said they were going to be on the ship for a couple of hours and then take him for dessert. Your grandmother said they would bring him back to the hotel around dinnertime.”
“Okay. Let’s go back to the hotel. I just want to be alone with you for a couple of hours.”
Chapter 16
Nearly a month later Nova had pulled up in front of Tanner’s house, her diploma on the passenger side seat. She opened up the cover and peeked inside again, just to make sure that it was still there. To make sure it was real. She had finally finished. She had done well on her final exams. This was one of the last roadblocks in her way to becoming the woman she wanted to be when she started out on this journey. There were more than a few times she had wanted to quit. There really had been no point. She had her beautician’s license. She had a steady job. Her career could advance without it, but she needed it. To prove to herself that she could work hard for something other than just survival.
She grabbed it and walked up to Tanner’s front door, letting herself in with the key he had given her nearly two months ago. She hadn’t been back to her apartment in days and just yesterday she had caught herself thinking about this place as home, which was a very dangerous way of thinking. This multimillion-dollar house didn’t belong to her. The huge kitchen wasn’t hers to cook in. This life was really not hers. Tanner was trying to make it that way. He wanted Nova and Teo with him at all times.
When she complained that she was paying rent for a place she rarely slept in, he offered to pay it for her. When she refused, he packed a bag and stayed at her place without complaint even though they both new it was silly for them all to be in the cramped apartment when he had so much space. He seemed to know that she thought that his place was too much and she caught him looking at smaller houses on the island, even though she knew his grandparents had turned over their house to him when they were in D.C.
He was thinking long term. He was thinking permanency. She still hadn’t spoken to him about what she wanted because she knew it would hurt him. She knew it would end things, and truthfully she didn’t want that yet. Being with him was like sinking into a bath at the end of a long day. It made her feel good all over, but it felt too good to last forever. And just like with a bath, she knew that the heat would seep away and she would have to get out eventually.
She opened the door to find a feast awaiting her when she walked into the kitchen. Mansi was there at the oven pulling out a pan of corn bread. Tanner was nearby with a tray of lobster and fresh corn. Teo was just outside on the deck that overlooked the ocean. She could see him setting down napkins and forks.
“What is all this?” she asked, making her presence known.
“Let me see it.” Tanner put the tray down on the kitchen table and took the diploma out of her hands. His face bloomed into a huge smile as he opened it and Nova immediately felt teary-eyed. “I’m proud of you, baby.” He picked her up and spun her around. “I’m so damn proud.”
“It’s just a high school diploma. It’s nothing special.”
“It is. I knew you weren’t going to let me throw you a graduation party, so I decided on this dinner instead. Your brother wants to take us all out this weekend to celebrate and he said if you say no, he’ll put you in a headlock.”
“I’d like to see him try,” she said, unable to muster up much feistiness. They were all so happy for her. She had such a hard time letting anyone but Mansi know what she had been doing. It had felt like failure not having finished. If she had just avoided Elijah, listened to those warning bells that went off in her head, she could have enrolled in a program and finished school so many years ago. But she wouldn’t have had Teo if she had. It was time to stop beating herself up about that. It was time to put the past in the past and look only to the future.
“Mommy!” Teo ran inside and right into her arms.
“Hello, little man. You look very handsome tonight.”
“Mansi made me take a bath as soon as I got home from school today. She said Mr. Tanner shouldn’t even have let me in the house and should have turned the hose on me in the yard.”
“Were you very dirty?”
“There was mud outside at recess and we had pizza in school for lunch. It was ice cream day too, and I got some on my clothes. Mansi said if you made me do my own laundry that I wouldn’t get so much junk on my clothes. But I don’t know why she said that because I don’t mean to get dirty.”
“No. Of course not. You’re like a little dirt magnet. It just comes flying at you.”
He spoke to her so easily now. His words flowing out of him like a fountain that she never wanted to shut off. “We got you a present, Mommy. I picked it out, but Mr. Tanner paid for all the stuff.”
She looked up at Tanner who was shaking his head. “Teo, it’s supposed to be a surprise.”
“I didn’t tell her what it is.” He frowned. “You said we can give it to her after dinner. You didn’t say I couldn’t tell her we got her a present.”
“You’re right. Remind me to be extremely explicit in my instructions from now on. I can see you when you’re older telling me I didn’t tell you that you weren’t allowed to take my
car without permission.”
He had done it again. Spoke about the future, about him being there always, like it was a given. Every time she heard him do that, it made her chest tight. It made her feel like she couldn’t leave.
“Just give it to her now,” Mansi said. “It’s not a diamond. I told him to give you a diamond. They really are a girl’s best friend.”
She was glad it wasn’t a ring. She wouldn’t know what to do if he had given her one. But she had a feeling she might say yes, because saying no to him was too damn hard.
“Go get it, Teo.” Tanner sighed. “This is the last time I let anyone else in on a surprise for you.”
Teo wiggled out of her arms and ran down the hallway. He returned later holding a pet carrier. At first Nova couldn’t see anything inside, but then she did. It was a calico kitten with huge eyes and a sweet curious face.
“It’s a boy,” Tanner said softly. “We got him from the shelter in Edgartown. He’s seven weeks old.”
“His mommy died,” Teo added. “I thought you could be his mommy now, even though you’re not a cat.”
She dropped down to the floor and pulled the kitten out. She rubbed her face against his soft fur and promptly burst into tears.
* * *
Tanner felt the back of his throat burn as he watched Nova completely fall apart. He knew it was a risky move getting her a cat, but just once he wanted the experience of giving someone a kitten in a box complete with a bow. Her reaction was better than he had ever hoped for. Mansi urged him to propose, but he had held off. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he knew it wasn’t the right time. It would send Nova running for the hills.
“Don’t cry, Mommy.” Teo sat on the floor beside her and patted her knee. “What’s wrong? You don’t like him?”
Nova made some incomprehensible noise.
“You want us to take him away? Maybe Mansi will take him home with her. She says he’s sweet.”
“Your mother likes him. Those are happy tears,” Tanner explained. “At least I’m hoping they are, because I’m going to be really scared of shopping for you at Christmastime if they aren’t.”
