by Tynessa
“Don’t touch my fucking baby,” I yelled out as I held my baby tight. Kacey had walked right in and tried to get her off my chest. The muthafucka didn’t speak to me or anything but thought I was about to let him touch my child. He had to be out of his mind.
“Move girl! I ain’t seen my child in almost a whole muthafuckin’ week and you talking about don’t touch her. You better let her ass go so I can get her.”
“So! It ain’t my fault you ain’t seen her. You the one that chose to run after that cracker than to spend time with your family. Go back over there with her because we don’t need you here. Don’t come trying to play daddy now nigga. You ain’t been playing that role.” The whole time I talked, he stood there looking at me in disgust. He had a frown on his face as if I stunk or something. I don’t know why he was standing there looking at me like that when he was the one fucking up. He ain’t about to walk out of me and my kids’ lives then come back a few days later like nothing has happened. Like he hadn’t just gone MIA on us. I would rather he be with Tan, at least the hoe looked decent. Yeah, the girl had a little butt, but she wasn’t cute.
“I’m not about to play with you, Rachel. You know what, where my muthafuckin’ son at?” I didn’t even turn around to see where Kacey was going. I knew he was going to Lil’ Kace’s room to see if he was back there. He was going to be disappointed because he was at my sister’s house. “Where my fucking son at, Rachel?”
“You don’t have a damn son here! Were you worried about my son when you were laid up? No, because if you were you would’ve called to check on him. You have proven that you don’t give a fuck about us and don’t wanna be here with us. Just get out my house! We were doing good the few days you were gone and we’re gonna be doing even better once you pack your shit and don’t come back.” I didn’t mean it. Lord knows I didn’t want Kacey to leave me and if he could stand there and tell me that he would leave that woman alone and work on putting his family back together, I would welcome him back with opened arms.
“Correction, I don’t wanna be here with you!” When Kacey said that and pointed down at me, my heart broke into a million pieces. What did I ever do to him for him to treat me like this?
When I first met him at the jail, he was so loving and caring but as I think about it, that was when I was the side chick and he was still with Tan. It seemed the moment that she left him and he had to move in with me, things just went downhill. He showed a side that I only wished he would’ve kept hidden. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t place blame on me for everything that happened with him and Tan. In reality, everything was his fault and deep down he knew that. From their breakup to her losing their daughter, it was all Kacey’s fault. Had he been a man and told me that he had a girl, we wouldn’t be where we’re at now.
“I mean… I care for you only because you’re the mother of my kids. I never loved you Rachel, and I never will.” Kacey sat on the coffee table as he looked into my eyes. There was nothing but truth in his and it caused tears to roll down the side of my face. “You knew this was coming to an end soon, that’s why you trapped me with Kassidy. Don’t get me wrong, yes, I’m upset that you did that bogus shit, but it doesn’t take away the love I have for her. Her and my lil’ man are my world and no matter what happens between you and me, I will forever be a part of their lives. I just wish you would let go.”
When he said he wish I would let go, it caused me to snap. I literally threw Kassidy to the other end of the couch and jumped up in his face.
“Bitch, are you fucking crazy?” Kacey yelled as he grabbed a crying Kassidy. I didn’t care though because I had blacked out.
“Son of a bitch, you wish I would let go? After all the bullshit I done put up with, you wish I would let go? You don’t play with folks’ heart, Kacey, and I’m sick of you playing with mine.” I didn’t even wait for a reply as I walked to the closet that was located in the hall.
As I searched for what I was looking for, I peeked over my shoulder as I fussed to myself. Kacey was cradling Kassidy. I hope I didn’t hurt my baby, but at this very moment, that was the furthest thing on my mind. Once I grabbed my .357 magnum, I stormed back in the living room. Kacey had his back to me so I fired one single shot through the wall. He jumped from shock, clenched the baby tighter and dived behind the couch. I walked over to where they were and stood over them, still pointing my gun down at his back. My daughter was screaming but once again, I didn’t care.
“Get yo’ ass up and put my fucking daughter down!” I yelled out.
“Are you fucking crazy? You could’ve shot her.” I didn’t even say anything back. I just raised a brow and pointed my gun at Kassidy. I wasn’t going to shoot my baby, I just wanted Kacey to do as I said. I wasn’t that evil to kill my own child over his no good self. “Man, calm yo’ ass down Rachel, shit. Get that damn gun off my child,” he roared, but never attempting to get up. I cocked the gun back while it was still on Kassidy before aiming it at the wall and firing off two more shots. That got his ass up. “Okay, okay. Just don’t kill my baby.”
“Lay her on the couch and step away from her,” I then ordered and he did as I said. He walked backwards with his hands thrown in the air. “So, you think it’s okay to play with my heart? What did I ever do to you Kacey, besides love you? I would give you the world if I could but it would never be enough for you. Is it because I’m not Tan?” I cried hysterically, but I don’t even think it fazed him. His face held an angry expression that said if I didn’t kill him or myself, he would certainly kill me.
“Tan ain’t got shit to do with what we going through so I wish you would quit throwing her name in every gotdamn argument we have.” Here I am standing here holding a gun and this high yellow nigga still wasn’t willing to bow down to me. I hate his ass.
“Oh, so it’s that white bitch then, huh?” Pow! I fired another shot. “I knew it was her. I guess me sending y’all a message letting you know that I could easily touch her if I wanted, wasn’t enough. You took that bitch to the Western Hotel. You spending cash on that bitch like that, Kacey? Or let me guess, she paid for it? You hit the jackpot with that one, Kace. Did you know the cracker got over 2 million in the bank? Her daddy died and left her all that money.” From the shocked expression, I could tell that he didn’t know. I’m pretty sure he knew she had money, just not how much.
“I don’t give a fuck about her money! That’s hers and she ain’t got nothing to do with this either. Leave her and Tan out of it.”
Pow! Pow! I let go of two more shots into the wall.
“Don’t stand in my fucking face and defend those hoes. How dare you! Next time you won’t be so lucky. I have two more bullets and they have your name on them. Keep fucking playing with me, Kacey.”
“Look at you,” he gestured towards me. “Why would I wanna be with you? I been telling yo’ ass from the first time I moved in this muthafucka with you that you was crazy. Hell nawl I don’t wanna be with you, and after seeing how you just handled my daughter and drawing a fucking gun on her, I don’t want my kids here with you either. You an unfit bitch that don’t deserve kids! And that shit ain’t got shit to do with Tan or Melody.” Kacey was yelling and spitting all in one. He was that upset with me. “There’s no chemistry between us and there never was. I only started fucking with you in the first gotdamn place to get inside your head, fucking you was just a damn bonus. I wanted to get out that muthafucka so I could get home to Tan but unfortunately, I fucked up and got yo’ crazy ass pregnant. This shit was all a fucking game but me and Tan were the only muthafuckas that lost in the end. I’m sick of holding this shit in and if I had the chance to do it all over again, I would’ve never even looked yo’ fucking way!”
I stood here in disbelief. I couldn’t believe this was how Kacey felt. Well, to be honest, in a way I felt it but it just hurt to hear it coming out his mouth.
“So, you regret our kids?”
“I regret fucking with a crazy bitch like you! So if that means reg
retting having them, then so be it.”
Pow! I didn’t have any more bullets to be wasting on the walls so this one hit his ass right in the side. Due to my shaky hands, I couldn’t hit his ass in the dick like I intended. He slouched over as blood poured out.
“I will be sure to tell our kids what a lowlife piece of shit their father was. You regretting having them over a piece of pussy? I hope you rot in hell you no good son of a bitch!” Just as I was about to shoot him in the head, he raised up causing the bullet to hit him in the shoulder. I continued to pull the trigger but the clip was empty. I really wanted to kill Kacey right now and just face the circumstances that were due to come. After accepting the fact that I couldn’t kill this nigga, I grabbed my daughter and placed her in her car seat. I grabbed my keys then after putting on my shoes, I left Kacey laying right there on the floor moaning in pain. I didn’t have no remorse for what I did whatsoever. That would teach his ass to not play with the next bitch’s heart.
Chapter 25
Asia
Let It Go!
It was the day of our rehearsal and I was going crazy. I hadn’t spoken to Jay since he walked out and told me that there wouldn’t be a wedding. Up until today, I still had faith that he would show up. I prayed for two whole weeks that Jay’vion would walk through that front door and say, ‘baby, I forgive you and let’s move forward’.
I even had faith in Tez’s words that all I had to do was give Jay some time and he would come back home. Now I wasn’t so sure of it. He wouldn’t even answer my calls, had come and gotten his car and was no longer staying at Tez’s house. I was trying to stay strong but the closer it got to rehearsal, I was reaching my breaking point. Tan was here trying to calm me down, but it wasn’t working. I needed to hear Jay say that everything would be okay in order for me to be calm.
“Tez still claims he hasn’t talked to him. Kacey either.” Tan walked in from outside and flopped down on the couch. I had run the whole story down about Mark and me sleeping together and the day he got his ass nearly to death. She was shocked because even she didn’t know about he and I sleeping together. I was beyond embarrassed after it happened and didn’t feel the need to tell anyone. I felt bad because she was my best friend, but that was a secret I was trying to take to my grave with me.
Anyway, Tan had been calling Tez and Kacey both every hour but they weren’t giving up Jay’vion’s whereabouts. This shit was crazy.
“Man, I know their asses is lying. Especially Tez’s black ass. That’s his brother so I know if anybody know where he at, it’s him,” I said to Tan. She didn’t reply but I knew she agreed with me. How Tez ain’t gonna know where his own brother is? Even if he’s with another bitch, I wanted them to tell me something. Just the thought of Jay’vion entertaining another heifer caused my blood to boil and had me wiping my tears away. “You know what. Fuck it and fuck Jay. I’m going to go ahead and go to rehearsal, cancel that bitch ass wedding and still have my bachelorette party. Fuck Jay’vion!”
I was sick of sitting at home crying and shit over him. I didn’t even act this way towards him when he got another bitch pregnant. But it was all good. I swear, once he got his shit together and decided to come back to me, I wasn’t taking his ass back, especially if I have to cancel my damn wedding. If I have to embarrass myself and explain why I won’t be having my wedding then hell no, forget him.
“It’s okay, best friend. After paying four hundred for that damn dress, I’ll marry your ass. I’m wearing that bitch somewhere.” When Tan said that, I burst out laughing. I felt where she was coming from because I was wearing my damn wedding dress, even if I had to walk around the house with it on. “Let’s go get something to eat. When did mama say they were coming?”
Getting off the couch, I said, “I told her to meet me at the church at seven. I didn’t want her coming here asking all those questions. I’m going to get dressed. Maybe we can have something to drink too. I need some liquor in my system before going to rehearsal.”
“You know I’m down. It’s a shot of Cîroc somewhere calling my name,” Tan giggled.
It was a little after five and Tan and me both were tipsy. After eating at TGIF, we stopped by the package store and grabbed a bottle of Cîroc and went on our stalker-ish in search of Jay. I don’t know where this guy could’ve been because we’d damn near hit up every hotel I thought he would’ve been. I was getting pissed and the more we rode around, the more my heart was breaking. I just knew Jay was with another woman.
“Let’s go over to Tez’s house. I know his big black ass knows where Jay at. When he lies and say he don’t, I’ma hit his big ass with this bottle and you kick him in the nuts. Deal?” I drunkenly ordered. Tan was driving and laughed when I said that. “Bitch, you gone get us locked up. I do have a damn wedding to cancel,” I screamed at her. Her ass was laughing so hard at what I’d just said that she swerved to the other lane. As if us riding with opened containers weren’t enough, she had to be driving reckless.
“Well shut the hell up! I’m already ‘bout drunk and yo’ ass making jokes and shit. I’m about to pull over and let you drive,” she fussed. I hushed up because my ass was liable to have a wreck. I couldn’t drive drunk for shit.
The remainder of the ride, we danced in our seats while singing Trina’s “Single Again”. I slick wanted to cry but I wasn’t. If Jay wanted to act like an ass for some shit that happened years ago, then fuck him. I know Tez had told him the story of Mark and me and if that nigga wanted to keep acting stupid then fuck him.
When we pulled up to Tez’s house, his Monte Carlo was parked in the driveway, so I knew he was here. He had a truck but he hardly drove it. This was his every day car. But what made it so funny, it was parked right behind Jay’vion’s car.
I smacked my lips as Tan pulled behind the car. “Yup, this nigga in here too,” I said as I looked over at Tan. “See what I mean? Why Tez on some bullshit? Didn’t he just say Jay wasn’t here? They ass on some slick shit and I know they is.” By now, I was on ten and ready to go in there and fuck some shit or somebody up.
I marched up to the front door with my main bitch right behind me. I had the bottle of Cîroc in my hand, ready to go upside of Jay or Tez’s head—whichever one comes first.
“Mm hmm… They better not fuck with me either,” I fussed as I banged on the door. Tan stood back laughing the whole time. It wasn’t a laughing matter to me though because I was really mad and heart broken. I’m sitting up here crying and waiting for this nigga to come to his senses and his ass been over here chilling this whole time.
“Fuck y’all doing here?” Tez asked when he yanked the door back. My lil’ ass tried to push the door back and barge in, but he looked at me like I’d just lost my mind. “Nawl lil’ mama, you ain’t running shit over here. You ain’t finna just bust up in my crib.”
The mug on his face didn’t scare me one bit and the fact that Tan was still standing there laughing pissed me off. “Will you stop all that damn giggling!” I said to her then turned back around to Tez. “I need to talk to Jay. I don’t know why y’all keep fucking with me Tez. You told Tan that you haven’t seen him but his damn car is right there. I swear, I hate to fuck y’all up but I will if I have to.”
Quintez didn’t even respond to me. He just laughed as he opened the door wider for me to enter. I took off in search of Jay’vion. I went upstairs, checking all the rooms, bathrooms and even the closets. No Jay’vion. I felt like an ass. I mean, I searched this whole big ass house and still, no Jay.
“Where he at Quintez?” I yelled once I got back downstairs. He was sitting on the arm of the couch while Tan was walking out the bathroom located downstairs.
“Shawty, if you ain’t see him upstairs then he ain’t here. The nigga ain’t in my pocket.” I wasn’t feeling his little attitude.
“You were the one that told me to give Jay some time and he would come back home. What happened to that, Tez? You fucking promised,” I shouted as the tears rolled down my face. I just wan
ted Jay’vion to say something to me. Him ignoring me was only making things worst.
“I know I did and I’m sorry. Man, I’m trying lil’ mama, I really am, but Jay’s ass is hardheaded and ain’t trying to listen to shit I have to say.” I could tell in his facial expression that he felt sorry for me. I felt sorry for my damn self.
“Thanks for nothing, Quintez!” With that, I walked out the front door. I didn’t have to turn around to know that Tan was right behind me. As I was walking past his car, I threw the bottle of Cîroc as hard as I could. The driver window shattered but didn’t fall apart. I was satisfied with that. “Take me to the church.” I leaned my head against the headrest and closed my eyes.
I guess I had dozed off because I was awakened by Tan shaking me telling me we were at the church. I had a banging headache and I really didn’t feel like going in there facing my parents. The only reason for this damn rehearsal was because we were supposed to have a dinner party before we went our separate ways tonight. Oh well, I thought as I opened the door to get out.
“Are you really going to call it off?” Tan grabbed my arm, stopping me from getting out. The slur in her voice could be heard but it wasn’t as bad as before. I guess we both had sobered the fuck up on the little ride from Tez’s house.
“I don’t really have a choice.” With that, we got out and went inside. My baby girl was the first to notice me.
“I miss you,” she said to me as she jumped into my arms. “I missed you and Mr. Jay so much.” I swear this little girl just melts my heart.
I kissed her on the lips and said, “We missed you too, sweetie.” I hugged my parents and chatted with the few people that were here. I was trying to keep all conversations as brief as I could out of fear that they would ask where Jay’vion was. Plus, I wanted to build my nerves up and once I had done so, I walked up to the front of the church.
