Another Man's Child

by Anne Bennett

  SIX

  There was a funny atmosphere in the house the next morning as they got ready for Mass. Celia thought her mother seemed vexed about something. She seemed angry with all of them and even Ellie and Sammy, sensing it too, were quieter than usual. There was no breakfast eaten before Mass on Sunday for the family would take communion so Celia was surprised to see her mother making up a tray with a bowl of porridge on it and a cup of tea. She exchanged a surprised glance with her sister and it was Norah who asked who the tray was for.

  Peggy sighed. ‘Well I suppose you’ll know soon enough,’ she said. ‘Tom isn’t well and he’s having a morning in bed.’

  Celia knew that wasn’t true because their mother seemed almost cross that Tom wasn’t well and for a minute wondered if he had taken a drop too much the night before, but she had known him do that before and yet he had never missed Mass over it. Anyway, if he had taken a drop too much, would he have wanted porridge and tea?

  Celia watched her mother lift the tray just as Dan came in with Dermot and Peggy caught her husband’s eyes and her eyes flashed fire. It was the sort of look the younger children dreaded for when it was directed at them it was usually the forerunner of smacked legs, but this time she was looking at their daddy that way. It was very strange and so was the very pointed sniff Peggy gave before she left the kitchen. Celia glanced at Dermot and he shrugged his shoulders and spread his hands and it was obvious he could shed no light on anything.

  Later, as they made their way to Mass, Norah, Celia and Dermot walked ahead of their parents and Dermot said quietly, ‘Don’t know what’s up with our Tom, but there was a bit of moaning and groaning when he got into bed last night.’

  ‘Wasn’t half,’ Sammy agreed.

  ‘You were asleep,’ Dermot said disparagingly.

  ‘No I wasn’t,’ Sammy protested. ‘And if I had been I’d have woken up quick enough with all the turning and tossing Tom was doing.’

  ‘What is it all about?’ Norah said, perplexed. ‘Daddy said nothing, I suppose?’

  ‘Are you kidding?’ Dermot said. ‘Daddy has enough trouble bidding me the time of day on the normal run of things. And if I’d dared ask him, the mood he was in this morning, then I would have had the ears scalded off me.’

  ‘But what did Tom look like?’ Celia persisted. ‘Did he look strange?’

  ‘How would I know that, Celia?’ Dermot said. ‘It was dark when he came in and he didn’t light the lamp and this morning when we got up the covers were pulled around him.’

  ‘One side of his face was like black,’ Sammy said.

  ‘And how do you know?’ Dermot said disbelievingly.

  ‘Cos when you went downstairs he pulled the covers away a bit and I saw before he tucked them in again.’

  ‘Well we’ll likely know all soon enough,’ Norah said. ‘And we’d better shut up about it now because we’ll be at church in a minute.’

  Norah welcomed the silence that fell because all morning she had been thinking that it was all right to come up with this great idea about how she could make it to America anyway and also give Celia her heart’s desire, but how it was going to be achieved was another thing. She needed to see Andy McCadden alone and see if he really loved her sister enough to take her away out of this before she was spirited across the Atlantic.

  But they had reached the church now and were greeted from all sides by fellow parishioners. Among those that usually greeted them were Mr and Mrs Fitzgerald, but that morning they were ignored and Andy, who was usually with them, was not there. This didn’t strike her as odd initially; Norah thought maybe he was running late and would join them later. But he didn’t and when the Mass began she took a surreptitious look around but could see no sign of him. She concluded he had been taken with doing some jobs on the farm and would likely go to the later Mass and a sudden excitement gripped her as she realised that this might be the only chance she had to see Andy McCadden alone.

  But had she the courage to walk out of church in the middle of Mass? Not if she had been near her mother, she knew, but she was right on the other side of the pew. And her eyes were fastened on Sammy. He was sitting on the boys’ side of the church with all the others but his mother always sat as close to him as she could because he was inclined to fidget and chatter and drop his collection money and make a great deal of noise and fuss retrieving it and sometimes he was better behaved after a good poke. So Peggy’s attention was taken by her youngest son and beside her were Dan and Dermot, then Celia, and Norah was at the end. ‘Cover for me,’ she said to Celia out of the side of her mouth.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I need to leave Mass. There’s something I’ve got to do.’

  ‘What sort of something?’

  ‘Tell you later,’ Norah promised. ‘When Mammy notices I’m not here, say I was taken sick.’

  She slipped from the pew into the side aisle before Celia could reply to this and for the benefit of the parishioners, who were looking at her askance and who she knew would report what they saw to her mother, she bent her head as she scurried quickly down the aisle with her hand to her mouth. Once out of the church she continued to hurry for she knew she wouldn’t have long. Her mother might not notice her absence until communion, but then she would miss her and quiz Celia and she might send someone to see if she was all right and it would never do if she was found anywhere near Fitzgerald’s farm.

  The day was fine and warm and the countryside had never looked lovelier, but Norah hadn’t time to stand and stare and she cut across the fields which was quicker and where there was less likelihood of her being seen. She had expected to see McCadden in the field, or failing that the farmyard, but he was in neither place and she reached the farmhouse door without seeing him and though she knew he slept in the barn there was no way she was going in there on her own.

  Then she heard a noise from the kitchen, like the scrape of a chair on the kitchen floor, and though she nearly took flight she reminded herself what was at stake and knocked on the door tentatively. When it was opened, McCadden stood there with a towel over his arm and his face was one unholy mess, battered, bruised and grazed, one eye blackened and nearly closed up and his lip was split open as well.

  ‘What happened to you?’ Norah asked though she knew fine what had happened him.

  ‘Give you one guess,’ McCadden said in a voice slurred and a little indistinct because of the swollen lip.

  ‘But who did it?’

  ‘Huh,’ McCadden said. ‘Thought you might have figured out who that was. Even wondered if you’d come to gloat.’

  ‘What?’ Norah said, confused. ‘What are you on about?’

  McCadden gave an ironic laugh. ‘You really don’t know?’

  ‘Know what?’

  ‘It was your brother did this.’

  ‘Tom?’ Norah cried. She could hardly believe it and her shocked reaction was genuine, McCadden saw. ‘Tom did this to you?’

  ‘Yes,’ McCadden said. ‘And he didn’t get all his own way I can tell you. I left my mark on him too.’

  ‘You did,’ Norah said, remembering her brother’s odd behaviour and what Sammy had told them about his blackened face on the way to Mass. ‘He didn’t get up for Mass this morning.’

  ‘Well if your father had had his way, I might not be getting up at all,’ McCadden said. ‘I might still be lying in the ditch in the mangled mess they would have made of me because the two of them attacked me first and I said only cowards think it takes two men to attack one.’

  Norah’s eyes grew wide. ‘You called my father a coward?’

  McCadden nodded. ‘I did.’

  ‘Surprised he didn’t kill you.’

  ‘He didn’t try because Tom said I was right and he would fight me fair and square.’

  ‘Who won?’

  McCadden shrugged. ‘I did knock him down in the end, but I think we were fairly evenly matched. All in all, Tom gave a good account of himself.’

  ‘And this was all over Ce
lia?’

  Andy nodded. ‘To teach me a lesson, your father said. He could have saved himself the bother. I have already given my notice to the Fitzgeralds and not because of the money your father offered me or the beating he tried to give me.’

  It was news to Norah that her father had offered McCadden money – to stay away from Celia, she presumed – and she was surprised by the lengths he was prepared to go to in order to protect Celia from Andy McCadden, as if he was some sort of monster.

  ‘Unless I move on,’ Andy went on, ‘Celia will be given no life at all. I see how they have her at Mass and she is like a frightened little sparrow.’ He shook his head sadly and went on. ‘I can’t do that to her.’

  ‘How much do you care for her, Andy?’

  ‘A great deal. I thought you knew that.’

  ‘I had to be sure,’ Norah said. ‘Do you care for her enough to take her away from here when you go?’

  Andy started for that was the last thing he’d expected Norah to say. Knowing she had not been that keen on him in the beginning, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. ‘What rot are you talking? You know your father—’

  ‘My father mustn’t know,’ Norah cried. ‘You must sneak away.’

  Andy shook his head regretfully. ‘I can’t do that,’ he said. ‘For all Celia is eighteen now, she’s emotionally younger than her years. She needs to live a bit.’

  ‘She loves you.’

  ‘She has met no one else, that’s all,’ Andy said. ‘When I am gone they will ease up on her and she will meet someone else your father approves of.’

  Norah shook her head. ‘She won’t. She will be sent to America.’

  Andy looked at her disbelievingly. ‘There’s no point in that if I am not here anymore. Anyway I thought it was you going to America.’

  ‘It was,’ Norah said with a sigh. ‘Now, to keep Celia out of your clutches, she is being sent there. I doubt it would help if you disappeared off the scene now because my father wouldn’t know where you’d gone to and whether you’d be back. Celia’s fate, I’m afraid, is sealed.’

  ‘I still can’t take her with me,’ Andy said. ‘It wouldn’t be right.’

  ‘Is it right to send her to America where she doesn’t want to go?’

  ‘Maybe not,’ Andy conceded. ‘But your parents have rights over Celia until she is twenty-one.’

  Andy was silent and Norah heard the ticking of the clock and she felt quite desperate. This was maybe the only chance she would have to talk to Andy alone. She thought he would have jumped at the chance. The silence between them had begun to feel uncomfortable when Norah gave a shrug and said, ‘That’s that then. Celia will be going to America. That’s if she’s well enough to make the crossing.’

  Andy’s head shot up. ‘Why wouldn’t she be?’ he cried. ‘Is she sick?’

  ‘In the mind only,’ Norah said. ‘She is locked in her room every day and let out only for meals, not that she eats much of anything put before her. Andy, her clothes are hanging from her and she looks pale and listless. It’s like she is pining away and I think she is pining for you. Don’t desert her now, Andy. It would be too cruel and might indeed be the last straw for her.’

  Andy was greatly affected by Norah’s words and they changed his mind-set completely. He had seen Celia’s wretchedness and it was to help her that he had decided to leave, but if she was actually becoming ill and if Norah was right and his leaving now would not help the situation, then he had to do something else. And so, despite any misgivings he had about taking Celia with him because of her age and immaturity, and also despite the jurisdiction her parents had over her, he knew he had to get her away from her tyrannical father before he killed her altogether. How could he live with himself if something happened to her because he didn’t act?

  ‘Has the ticket for America arrived yet?’

  ‘No and it would be well to be away before it comes,’ Norah said. ‘If now you’ve decided to take her with you?’

  Andy nodded. ‘I’ll take her because I feel I must.’

  ‘She will die if she stays,’ Norah said. ‘Either before she goes or on the crossing, when she will be completely alone. Once that ticket arrives I think Daddy will have her on that liner faster than the speed of light.’

  ‘You’re right,’ Andy said. ‘I will not be able to work my notice and I do feel sorry about it because the Fitzgeralds have been good to me. And I’ll have to borrow Mr Fitzgerald’s horse too, because we’ll need a horse to get to Letterkenny by dawn to get the train down to the docks in Belfast before dawn and we daren’t use the roads. The horse’s hooves will sound in the night.’

  ‘So how will you know the way if you don’t use the roads?’

  ‘We’ll follow the rail bus tracks.’

  Norah knew all about the rail buses, the little red trains that ran on narrow-gauge tracks that people said had opened up the north of Ireland. ‘I’ve never travelled on one of those.’

  ‘Nor me,’ Andy said. ‘In fact I had never left home before I travelled from Killybegs to Donegal to look for work, but some in Killybegs had travelled on them and they said they go all the way to Letterkenny. The tracks pass through Donegal so if we pick them up and follow them we should get there all right.’

  ‘And you’re making for the docks?’

  Andy nodded. ‘We must make for England for there is nowhere in Ireland I would consider safe. If they were to find us they could demand Celia’s return and I doubt I would have a leg to stand on. I suppose she is agreeable to all this?’

  ‘She will be,’ Norah said confidently. ‘But as yet she has no idea.’ And she explained how she had sneaked out of church pretending to be sick. ‘I must go soon or I will be missed.’

  ‘How will I know if Celia agrees?’ Andy said. ‘I will force her to go nowhere.’

  ‘She will be agreeable, I tell you.’

  ‘I must know. Can you get out with a message to me?’

  ‘No I can’t,’ Norah protested. ‘What possible reason could I give for leaving the house without arousing suspicion? I am not locked up like Celia but I am watched like a hawk.’

  Andy thought for a minute and then suddenly said, ‘I have it. If I get halfway down your lane I can see your house. Where’s your bedroom?’

  ‘At the front to the right of the front door.’

  ‘Right,’ Andy said. ‘If Celia agrees to this, light a lantern and put it in the window tomorrow night. And if that lantern is lit then I will be there to fetch her on Wednesday night at midnight.’

  ‘Right, that’s settled then,’ Norah said. ‘And now I really must be off before they send a search party out.’

  Norah had felt a bit guilty as she walked home that morning because, though every word she had said had been the truth, she had been thinking about herself as well. She knew that Celia thought the world of Andy McCadden but she wasn’t absolutely sure that the love her sister had for him would give her the strength to sneak out to go with a man who intended to take her to another country altogether, one which she had never expressed a wish to go to.

  First though, she had to deal with the wrath of her mother who couldn’t believe she had left the church without a word to anyone.

  ‘I told Celia,’ Norah protested. ‘I hadn’t time to tell anyone else. As it was I only just got out of the church before I was as sick as a dog.’

  ‘So why then didn’t you come back in?’

  ‘Because being sick didn’t make me feel any better,’ Norah said. ‘I went for a walk to see if it would help being in the fresh air.’

  ‘Which it obviously did for you look as right as rain to me now.’

  Norah thought it best that she didn’t recover quite so quickly and so she said, ‘My stomach still feels a little delicate.’

  ‘Well I don’t know what’s up with you,’ Peggy said, almost impatiently as if Norah had been sick to spite her. ‘You’ve never been the sickly type and you’ve had nothing to eat that the rest of us haven’t had. Still, if yo
u say you felt sick then I suppose you did and I won’t give you any porridge this morning – that’ll give your stomach a rest.’

  Norah’s stomach was actually yawningly empty. She gave an almost imperceptible sigh for it was a long time until dinner and her stomach rumbled and grumbled in protest, but going along with the pretence of still feeling queasy she had to agree with her mother.

  Watching the others eat the breakfast she would have enjoyed was agony to Norah and she was glad when it was over and she was able to escape to the scullery with Celia and clear away all trace of it. As they worked under the cover of the clatter of plates, she told Celia what had transpired since she had left the church and knew from her open-mouthed amazement that that had been the last thing that Celia had thought she would do.

  Celia was incensed when Norah told her about the fight, especially when her sister said Andy would have been in a worse state if the two of them had set about him as their father had intended.

  ‘I never thought Daddy to be a violent man or one that would join with Tom to beat another man up. I’m a bit disappointed in him to be truthful.’

  ‘Your Andy McCadden didn’t waste time being disappointed,’ Norah said. ‘He virtually told Daddy he was a coward coming at him that way and he would fight one man at a time and Daddy was raging apparently but Tom said McCadden was right.’

  ‘But is Andy all right?’

  ‘Basically,’ Norah said. ‘His face is a bit of a mess, but he’ll heal and at least we know why Tom is keeping to his bed today. Anyway, he said they were wasting their time for he’s already given notice to the Fitzgeralds and is moving on.’

  Celia gave a little distressed cry and her hands fluttered to her mouth while tears squeezed from her eyes and dribbled down her pasty white face as she said in a shaky whisper, ‘Where’s he going?’

  ‘He’s talking about making for England,’ Norah said. ‘But wherever he’s going you can go with him if you want to.’

  Celia’s eyes that she fastened on Norah were filled with uncertainty as she said, ‘What do you mean?’ Norah told her the idea she had put to Andy McCadden and his reaction to it and while her sister spoke thoughts were tumbling in Celia’s head. She wanted to go with Andy, oh she did, only she’d never thought about anything like this happening. Whenever she had thought about the future it had been like a big hole in front of her and now that hole was filled with tenuous brightness and hope.