Another Man's Child

by Anne Bennett

  But there was a lot to do before she had a chance to even catch a glimpse of Andy and the first thing she had to do was help Lady Annabel dress. Celia had never been in service before and could see no reason why she had to help an adult woman dress herself, but apparently that’s how the rich and privileged liked things and Henry was giving her five shillings a week to act as lady’s maid to his sister and so she bit back her irritation.

  When they went downstairs it was to find Henry coming in the door with a bag of oatmeal under his arm.

  ‘In the absence of a cook at the moment,’ he said in explanation to Celia, ‘I thought you may be able to cook porridge.’

  ‘I can cook most things if I have the ingredients,’ Celia said. ‘My mother insisted on it. She …’ She broke off, knowing it was safer not to talk of her life in Ireland, but Henry put her hesitation down to sadness over her mother’s death. To distract her he said, ‘I looked for your brother to fetch the oatmeal but I couldn’t find him.’

  ‘What d’you mean, you couldn’t find him?’ Celia asked. ‘Wasn’t he in his room?’

  ‘Not when I looked.’

  So Celia went to look herself and what she saw chilled her to the marrow. Even accepting the fact that he wouldn’t have taken many clothes out of his knapsack the previous night, there should have been some indication that he had slept in the room, but there was none. The sheets and blankets were neatly folded on the end of the bed, his jacket was gone from the back of the door and there was no sign of his knapsack and no clothes, even dirty ones, left on the floor.

  Celia knew with dread certainty that Andy had left her, here alone in a strange country with people she had only just met. She thought he loved her and she had left her home so that they could have a future together. ‘Oh God!’ she thought. She was fearful of the future without the man she loved beside her. Tears flowed from her eyes as she cried at the black betrayal of Andy and suddenly her legs refused to hold her up and she sank to the floor in a paroxysm of grief.

  TEN

  Celia opened her eyes and then wished she hadn’t bothered because Andy’s betrayal and his lack of thought for her struck her afresh. What a fool she felt now and she gave a low groan.

  ‘Oh thank goodness,’ said Annabel’s voice and Celia turned her head slowly and was surprised to see that she was lying on her own bed and Annabel was crossing the room towards her from the window. ‘How did I get here?’ she asked.

  ‘Henry carried you,’ Annabel said. ‘Golly, you gave us both a start. We heard you give a cry and Henry and I went down to see what the matter was and there you were in an unconscious heap on the floor. He carried you up here and sent for the doctor.’

  Doctors hadn’t been sent for unless there was a dire emergency in the Mulligan household, for doctors cost money, and so Celia said, ‘Really there’s no need, I’m fine now.’

  It wasn’t strictly speaking true and anyway it did no good.

  ‘There is every need,’ Annabel said. ‘And Henry said he might as well look me over as well because since the doctor who told my mother about my pregnancy I’ve been seen by no one medical and Henry said I must be checked over to make sure everything’s going as it should.’

  ‘Yes, I suppose it would be as well,’ Celia said. ‘Though where I lived in Ireland the doctor only came if there were problems. A neighbour woman would help and usually that was enough.’

  ‘I doubt you would find a woman willing and able to do that behind the lace curtains in this road, do you?’ Annabel asked with a smile.

  Celia found herself unable to smile back for she felt benumbed by sadness as she replied, ‘I suppose it would be difficult.’

  Annabel looked at Celia’s woebegone face and she felt shame wash over her. ‘Ah Celia, are you very upset about your brother leaving?’

  ‘Of course I am,’ Celia cried. ‘Who wouldn’t be upset? It was the way it was done.’ And then a thought struck her. ‘I suppose there was no note explaining everything?’

  Annabel lowered her head to hide the flush she felt burning her cheeks as she said, ‘No. That was the first thing Henry thought of and as soon as he had carried you up here we both searched. But, as I said to Henry, we didn’t need to be really thorough, because if your brother had gone to the bother of writing a note to you, he would have left it in a fairly prominent place – otherwise what would be the point of writing it?’

  ‘There wouldn’t be one,’ Celia said. ‘And it isn’t as if he has anywhere to go for this is his first time in England and he knows no one.’

  Annabel, remembering what Andy had written in the letter, suggested, ‘He might be going to try and find employment and a place to live before coming back for you.’

  Celia shook her head. ‘He could have had employment here, it was offered to him and he’d have found some way of letting me know if that’s what he intended. I think I must accept the fact that he has gone and that’s that. That’s why he didn’t accept your brother’s offer of employment. He is telling me that there is no place for me in his life any more and I have no idea why he felt that way.’ She looked at Annabel and her eyes were like pools of sadness as she said, ‘I am truly heartbroken to tell you the truth.’

  Deep shame filled the whole of Annabel’s body and she had an actual pain in her own heart and she very nearly confessed to Celia what she had done, but she stopped herself just in time because she had the idea that if she was to tell Celia what she had done and show her the letter Celia wouldn’t stay with her. She might go and see if she could find her lover and Annabel knew that to be all alone day after day would scare her to death.

  ‘What is it? Celia asked, because she knew Annabel was agitated about something.

  ‘It … it’s Henry,’ Annabel said. ‘He wants to see you, ask you something, but I don’t know that you are up to it yet.’

  ‘What does he want to ask me?’

  ‘I’ll let him tell you himself,’ Annabel said. ‘Are you feeling strong enough to get up if I help you?’

  Celia didn’t feel strong at all. She felt as if none of her body was connected and her head was filled with cotton wool and her heart was as heavy as lead, but she agreed to see Henry, knowing she didn’t really have a choice because her life was linked to Lady Annabel and her brother.

  ‘I’ll manage,’ she said.

  However, when she got out of bed she felt decidedly shaky and Celia was glad of Annabel’s arm as they crossed the room and went down the stairs where they found Henry. He was pleased to see Celia so much better, but he also noticed the pallor of her skin and asked if she was well enough to be up, but she brushed his concerns aside.

  ‘I’m well enough,’ she said. ‘Annabel said you wanted to speak to me?’

  Henry nodded. ‘I did, yes,’ he said but what he went on to say made her look at him in amazement for it was the very last thing she expected him to say. ‘So,’ he went on, ‘it would be a tremendous favour for you to agree to do this.’

  ‘But why would you want me to change my name?’

  ‘Because Lewisham is a very well-known name in certain circles in Birmingham. And those are the circles Annabel has to move in when she is back in society. It is important that there is no scandal attached to her if she is to get the chance to marry well. If you change names with her for now it will help enormously.’

  ‘But I speak with an Irish accent and what about my clothes?’ Celia cried. ‘You can call me anything you like but I’ll never be a grand lady like Lady Annabel.’

  ‘If explanations should be needed we could say that you grew up in Ireland,’ Henry said. ‘As for clothes, Annabel has plenty and most of them she will be unable to get into soon anyway.’ And then as she still hesitated he cried, ‘Please, Celia, if you care for Annabel at all, please do this to help her?’

  Celia looked across at Annabel, who was biting her lip in agitation in a way that made her look even younger than her sixteen years, and she felt such sympathy for that young girl, having to go through
such an ordeal, and yet she shook her head.

  ‘It won’t work, Lord Lewisham. There’s a saying that applies in this case and it’s that you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear and that’s right enough. You put me in Annabel’s clothes and call me Annabel Lewisham, but it will fool no one. It will be like I was dressing for some sort of game because inside I will still be Celia Mul— McCadden and that will be proved when I opened my mouth.’

  ‘You don’t have to fool anyone, Celia,’ Henry said. ‘You and Annabel are going to live very quiet lives here and, apart from my parents maybe and the doctor, there will be no callers. But I must engage a cook and cleaner and someone to look after the gardens and because they have time off I don’t want them talking about Lady Annabel Lewisham being pregnant. My parents are too far away to hear a whisper of this, of course, but someone else might and, well, that’s how rumours start and reputations have been destroyed on less.’

  ‘Can you see how important it is?’ Annabel said. ‘If it gets out that I gave birth to an illegitimate baby, my life will be over.’

  Celia heard the desperation in Annabel’s voice and saw her face ravaged with anxiety and knew that she couldn’t refuse to do this.

  ‘Please,’ Henry said again. ‘I know it’s asking a lot.’ His dark brown eyes were fastened on Celia in a way that made her feel quite weak especially as she could see the concern in them and so she nodded her head and saw Annabel sigh in relief.

  ‘But what about when the baby’s born?’ Celia asked. ‘You can’t keep that baby a secret for long.’

  ‘Well what usually happens in cases like this – and this is not the first time an unmarried girl from a good, respectable home has found herself pregnant – the child is given to some worker on the estate to bring up. I wrote a long letter to my parents last night and told them that Annabel is here and will stay here until it’s over.’

  ‘Will they come for her?’

  ‘Oh no,’ Henry said. ‘It will suit them for me to have her here while she is in this “interesting” condition. If I’d been in the country, Aunt Agatha might not have become involved at all. As it is I’ll have to send her a telegram telling her things have changed and her services won’t be required.’

  ‘Will she be annoyed?’

  ‘I suppose,’ Henry said. ‘But then she’s annoyed most of the time. You wouldn’t know what you’d have to do to please her. And any baby brought up in any way by Aunt Agatha would have a terribly wretched childhood,’ he went on. ‘That was probably only proposed because I wasn’t here. Mark my words. Once our parents know I am virtually hiding Annabel away till the deed is done, they’ll look round for a likely couple to be the child’s foster parents. Now let’s get our stories together before the doctor gets here.’

  ‘I could do with some breakfast too,’ Celia said. ‘I am more than just hungry.’

  Henry laughed. ‘Come on then,’ he said. ‘Let’s have a forage in the kitchen before we talk.’

  By the time the doctor came, Celia had had her breakfast and was dressed in a red dress that had once belonged to Annabel.

  ‘From now on,’ Henry said. ‘You will be my sister, Annabel Lewisham, newly returned from Ireland where you have lived for many years and with you is a good friend, Celia McCadden, who has recently been widowed and has then found after her husband’s death that she was expecting his child. You all happy with that?’

  ‘I’m not happy with the name Annabel,’ Celia said. ‘It’s too fancy a name for the likes of me. And I know for now we’re pretending that I am someone else, but the name doesn’t rest easy. I don’t mind Anna.’

  ‘I agree,’ Annabel said. ‘I don’t want to be called Celia either. It’s like taking someone’s whole identity. I want to be called Cissie, Cissie McCadden.’

  Celia bit her lip as she remembered McCadden was an assumed name too and she’d been happy enough with it when she thought her future lay with Andy. But now she wanted no truck with it and she was glad to get rid of it and become Lewisham, even if it was for just a few months.

  Dr Tranter didn’t appear to doubt the story at all and said the girl he called Miss Lewisham would have no ill effects from the faint.

  ‘You’re too skinny for my liking though,’ he said. ‘Are you sure that you are not in the same condition as your friend Mrs McCadden?’

  ‘Oh no, doctor,’ Celia assured him. ‘There is not a chance of that.’

  The doctor gave a small sigh of relief because the girl had no ring on her finger. Annabel, on the other hand, had her grandmother’s antique wedding ring that her mother had given her when she was sixteen – one thing she wouldn’t pawn because she had loved her grandmother very much – and now it sparkled on her finger, giving her the right to be pregnant.

  Dr Tranter had commented on the loss of her husband and her so young and asked how he’d died. That hadn’t been discussed so Annabel said the first thing that came into her head: that he was a soldier and had just returned to his regiment after a spot of leave and had sailed almost directly for India and been killed there in a skirmish on the second day. The doctor was impressed with her stoicism and said so while he examined her and she said it had been tragic at the time, but she had the baby to think of. Celia, watching Annabel, was amazed at the tales spilling from her lips. It was almost as if that actually happened and she knew it would be hard for anyone to doubt that she was a grieving widow carrying her beloved husband’s child because she played the part so very well.

  ‘All in all,’ the doctor told Celia as he reached the hall and was preparing to leave, ‘she’s not bad considering what she has been through. Shouldn’t think her appetite has been of the best, but now she needs good solid food and plenty of it because according to her dates that baby seems small to me. She needs plenty of fresh air to get the roses back into her cheeks too, so take a long walk out every day. She needs to keep active because it will be better for her in the long run.’

  ‘Yes. I’ll see to it, doctor.’

  ‘Good girl,’ the doctor said approvingly. ‘Mrs McCadden is lucky to have such a good friend. Everyone needs someone with them at a time like this.’

  If it was hard for Annabel to treat Celia as an equal, it was even harder for Celia to adapt. Though she had never been in service before, she was used to being at the beck and call of those at home. She and Norah had little free time as they grew up because they would be always helping their mother and so she slipped into the role of lady’s maid naturally. Now though, the positions had been reversed and she didn’t know how she would be able to convince anyone that she was Lady Anna Lewisham and was thankful that Henry had said that from now until the baby was born they would meet very few people.

  ‘I suppose I should really call you Lady Anna,’ Annabel said later that day.

  ‘Oh, no,’ Celia said. ‘We are supposed to be friends, aren’t we? I shouldn’t think you use titles between friends, do you?

  ‘How would I know?’ Annabel said. ‘I’ve never had a friend.’

  ‘Haven’t you?’ Celia said. ‘How awful. Didn’t you make any friends at school?’

  ‘I was never allowed to attend school,’ Annabel said. ‘Henry was, but my mother said schools for girls were totally unnecessary, so I had a governess, a Miss Amelia Clovelly and I suppose in the end she became a sort of friend though she was such a meek and mild person, the sort that wouldn’t say boo to a goose, and she was terrified of my mother and she always called me Lady Annabel.’

  ‘Well she would,’ Celia pointed out. ‘However friendly you became, she was still an employee. Where is she now?’

  ‘She applied for a position in Northumbria,’ Annabel said. ‘Teaching the daughters of a vicar. She wrote once and said she was happy and settled, but the vicar’s three daughters were proving more of a handful than I ever was. I replied at once for I missed her more than I realised and she has probably written again, but I was banished from home so I’ll never know.’

  ‘Shame you may
have lost touch,’ Celia said. ‘Was she with you some time?’

  Annabel nodded. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘she came when I was five. She thought when she left my mother might send me to some sort of finishing school. I thought so too and hoped she would, but she said that a finishing school would not be needed and that she was to teach me the social skills I needed. I was also allowed to put up my hair and join my parents for dinner each evening and I was there with my mother when she was “at home” to visitors or when she held her soirees for the select few.’

  ‘What did you do there?’

  ‘Make social chit-chat with total bores mainly.’

  ‘You didn’t enjoy it then?’

  ‘No,’ Annabel said emphatically. ‘No I did not. I thought it a pointless exercise. There was talk of me coming out when I was eighteen, but I wasn’t looking forward to that either.’

  ‘What’s “coming out” mean anyway?’

  ‘It’s a marriage market,’ Annabel said vehemently. ‘You are taken to all these elegant balls and extravagant parties in order for you to meet eligible men. At the end of the “season” you are expected to have at least a marriage proposal, that’s what Amelia told me. But before I could start on any of that I had to learn to dance and my mother was making enquiries about dance classes just before that horrid man raped me. I don’t think I’d have minded learning how to dance for at least it would be something to do. Can you dance, Celia?’

  ‘Yes,’ Celia said. ‘I learnt when I was just a child, but they wouldn’t be like the dances you do. It was reels and jigs and the like.’

  ‘And have you ever been to a dance?’

  ‘Oh yes,’ Celia said. ‘They had a dance of some sort most Saturdays and I went often. They were run by the Catholic Church.’

  As she said that she bit her lip because it was now Saturday and she had to find a Catholic church and go to Mass or she would have a mortal sin on her soul.