He eyed her solemn expression. “We don’t have to talk about him.”
“I don’t mind.” She picked up her sandwich and took another bite, then chewed slowly. “He didn’t tell you about his run-ins with me?”
The poor girl was apparently clueless about what had happened in the aftermath of her breakup. “We’re not friends anymore.”
Her brow furrowed. “You two were as close as a nut and bolt. What happened?”
“I wasn’t impressed with the way he handled your diagnosis.” Or that he had been out banging every girl he could get his hands on less than a month after they’d broken up. Ty was a selfish bastard, and not for one minute had Justin regretted throwing him out on his ass.
She set her sandwich down and rubbed her temple. “He’s not your roommate, anymore?”
“No.”
She winced. “Please tell me you didn’t end your friendship because of me.”
“You want me to lie?”
Mandy squeezed her eyes closed and rubbed more vigorously. “Does he know the reason?”
Considering Justin had kicked Ty out after catching him in bed with Kirsten, he knew. “Yep.”
Her eyes popped open wide. “You’re not supposed to ditch your best friend over a woman, especially me.”
He thought she’d be flattered, knowing he was on her side. Apparently not, but her response didn’t change how he felt about what Ty had done to her. “You deserved better. You knew that. I knew that. Ty knew it, too, but he didn’t give a damn.”
“He told me we’d been growing apart,” she said in a quiet voice. “He was planning to end things even before I got sick.”
Of course Ty had used that excuse. He had been looking for the easiest way out. “You believed him?”
She cringed. “You think he left because of the cancer?”
“What does your gut tell you?”
She pulled her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. “He didn’t want to deal with my diagnosis.”
Christ, he hated doing this, but she needed to accept the truth—Ty wasn’t any better than Addie. Actually, he was worse, because he’d put a ring on her finger and promised her forever before he took off. “He’s a prick, Mandy. How could I stay friends with someone who left you when you needed him most?”
“He was a jerk to me, not you. I never wanted our breakup to affect you two.”
How could their breakup not have affected him? Hell, because of Ty, he hadn’t known if she was going to live or die, and the fear of seeing her name in the paper had eaten at him. “For the last year, I’ve read the obituaries every morning, praying I wouldn’t see your name.” He swallowed hard. “Maybe I didn’t mean much to you, but you meant a lot to me.”
Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes as she hugged her legs tighter and stared at him. “Oh, Justin.”
He groaned and ran his hands down his face. The conversation had gone too far, too fast. “I shouldn’t have brought up Ty.”
A teardrop snaked down her cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
If there was one thing he couldn’t stand, it was waterworks from the opposite sex, especially Mandy. “Christ. I didn’t mean to make you sad. No one’s supposed to cry at the beach.”
She sucked in a shuddered breath. “You were a great friend to me. I loved hanging out with you. I just always thought your friendship with Ty trumped ours.” Another tear escaped her eye. “I wasn’t going to get between you two.”
Justin bit the inside of his cheek. It was supposed to be a fun, lighthearted afternoon. He had to improve the ambiance fast, or she’d never hang out with him again. He scooted closer and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She smelled like a cool breeze dancing over the ocean, and the warmth of her skin made his heart hammer a love song.
Damn, he was a sap, but he didn’t want to be her friend any more now than he had back then. He’d taken on the role because the situation necessitated it, except finally they were both free of Ty, she was healthy, and the reason they couldn’t be together no longer existed. Unless she just wasn’t interested.
He stared toward the surf and mashed his lips together. The desire to tell her how much he wanted her almost overwhelmed him, but it was too soon.
She leaned into him and rested her head against his shoulder. “If I’d known you and Ty weren’t friends, I swear I would have returned your calls.”
“No, you wouldn’t have. I reminded you of Ty, and you needed to get over him first.”
She swiped at her tears. “Okay, maybe not right away, but after a couple of months I would have.”
“I can believe that.” He squeezed her shoulders, trying to think of something to cheer her. “Let’s finish eating and go hunt for shells. It’s almost low tide.”
“I don’t want to do anything right now, not even eat.”
“I brought white chocolate, macadamia nut cookies.”
She took a deep breath, seeming to compose herself, and looked at him with wide eyes. “Really?”
He nodded. “Aren’t they your favorite?” If that didn’t cheer her up, he was going to have to find a basket of puppies.
Her gaze focused on the cooler with the intensity of a hungry lion watching a gazelle. “How have I lived a year without you?” On all fours, she hurried to the cooler and dug around in the ice.
He smiled. If it had been up to him, they never would have gone a day without seeing each other. While he watched her unwrap a cookie the size of her hand, he formulated a plan. Somehow, he was going to convince her to stay the night with him. His grin widened from coming up with the perfect scheme. “Don’t you like s’mores?”
“Mmm hmm,” she mumbled while chewing a mouthful of cookies. “I wuv em.”
“At dusk, I’ll start a fire, and we can make some.”
Her brow furrowed as she swallowed. “Won’t that be kinda late?”
Exactly. And if he tuckered her out with more surfing, she’d be too tired to drive home. “It won’t be too late.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
Bingo. One obstacle down and one more to go before the night was up–a kiss. Well, damn, there went his plan to get into her head before making a move.
He gazed at her long legs tucked under her body and her trim stomach that tapered into a small waist. His blood stirred. Nope, not gonna wait. It was her fault he couldn’t hold off. She was too irresistible–especially with cookie crumbs on her lips.
Chapter 4
Mandy finished towel drying her hair in the tent after taking a shower at the park facilities. Justin had somehow talked her into staying after she’d gorged on s’mores. She wasn’t a hard sell, since, if she went home, she’d have just stayed up all night thinking about her mammogram results. Tomorrow, the nurse would call with the findings, so it was better to spend an innocent evening listening to the waves with Justin by her side than a restless one at home.
The sun had set thirty minutes ago, and only a small camping lantern lit the tent interior as Justin unzipped the door, dusted the sand off his feet, and climbed inside. The clean scent of his soap and shampoo wafted toward her. The smell filled her nose, and something down low tightened. Mandy straightened. Though the tent was roomy, it suddenly felt as cramped as an airplane bathroom. She scooted closer to her sleeping bag, which lay a few feet to the side of Justin’s.
Of all the men to find enticing, she had to choose the one closest to her ex. Except… they weren’t friends anymore. The tightness in her nether region turned into a low vibration, giving her the urge to shimmy her sleeping bag closer to his. Behave yourself.
Justin’s gaze washed over her, and he winked. “You look good in my clothes.”
Her cheeks flushed as she fidgeted with the hem of the black Coast Guard T-shirt he had lent her. “Your shirt’s swallowing me alive.”
“Eat some more cookies.”
“No way. The boxers are snug, and I’m not about to have bigger hips than you.”
He smirked. “Your hips
are perfect any size they come.”
“Riiiight.” If her hips got bigger, so did her butt. The combination would be about as attractive as a ninety-year-old woman in a French bikini.
She opened her sleeping bag. The exhaustion from spending all day in the sun relaxed every inch of her body. Her limbs felt heavy as she slid inside, as if her bones had turned to lead. But it wasn’t an unpleasant sensation, more a promise of a good night’s rest.
“How often do you camp out here?” she asked, finally understanding the appeal.
“Once a week during the summer.”
“Alone?”
He slipped inside his bag, his tall frame swallowed by the blue fabric. “Yep. I like listening to the surf while I fall asleep.”
“Seems lonely.”
He took a deep satisfied breath. “Peaceful is a better word.”
“Well, now I feel like I’m intruding.”
“You’re the first person I’ve asked to stay with me.”
Surprised, she rolled on her side, propped on one elbow, and stared at him. “Why me?”
Justin turned his deep brown eyes on her. “Because I like hanging out with you.” The way he watched her made her feel sixteen again.
Nerves assaulted her stomach, and she picked at the fabric of her sleeping bag, trying to work off the nervous energy. “I’ve really missed you. I didn’t realize how much until today.”
When she glanced up, she saw his gaze darken in intensity. The air dividing them seemed to crackle. On the beach, she’d noticed a tension building between them, but here, in the confines of the tent, it took on a life of its own, pulsating and throbbing, sending every nerve in her body into high alert. It was as if she were on a first date, waiting for Justin to kiss her, which was ridiculous. They were friends. That was all their relationship would ever be. That was all she wanted it to be. Wasn’t it?
Only a few feet separated them, and her heart pounded as Justin leaned forward. He slid his hand slowly toward her, crossing the distance.
As she watched him come closer, her mind churned like waves in a storm. Was he going to touch her? Hugging and playfully nudging each other on the beach was one thing but, in the tent, alone, with no one to witness, it felt like something lovers would do. His hand drew closer. Oh, God! In a moment of panic, Mandy blurted out, “Jessica told me you’ve had over a hundred saves. Is that true?”
He quickly pulled back, his gaze dulling. She felt a twinge of regret for stopping him. Would he have caressed her? Maybe ran a fingertip across her arm. How would that have felt? Her skin warmed as if he were stroking her, and she knew exactly how it would have felt—sultry, intimate, amazing. A shot of desire pulsed straight to her core.
She shook her head, trying to fling the thought of his touch away. “You’re a legend at the hospital.”
“I shouldn’t be. I’m just doing the job I was trained for.”
“You must be doing something right to save so many people. There’s even a rumor going around that you can command the seas.”
He stilled. “Who’d you hear that from?”
“Lori heard it from another nurse. Ty used to say the same thing. Sometimes I wasn’t sure if he was in awe of you, or just jealous.” The more she learned about Ty, the more she leaned toward jealousy. “I’m pretty sure no one at the hospital knows your real name. They just call you Shepherd, or Shep for short.”
“I never liked that name.”
She yawned and nestled deeper into her sleeping bag. “I think it’s fitting.” Justin seemed to curl into himself, as if he had no intention of trying to touch her again. Disappointment and relief flooded through her at the same time. How was she supposed to sort out all of her conflicting emotions? The effort made her yawn again.
“Tired?” he asked.
“Very.” She rolled onto her back and stared at the tent canopy. Only the soothing rush of the surf penetrated the fabric. People paid good money for a sound machine with that noise. Tonight, it was hers for free because of Justin. “Thanks for bringing me out here. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.”
He reached over and turned off the lamp, plunging the tent into darkness. “We can come back this weekend if you want.”
“I’d love to, but I work Saturday. And Sunday, I’m babysitting my niece.”
“Emma?”
“You remember her?”
“Of course. She’s the spitting image of you.”
They both had blond hair and blue eyes, but she’d never considered Emma a mini-me. “She’s way cuter than I ever was.”
“I bet you looked just like her at the same age.”
Mandy shrugged. “Maybe.” She turned her head toward Justin. Slowly, her eyes adjusted to the dark, and Justin’s form came into focus.
He faced her, with his gaze locked on her. “You should compare baby pictures,” he said.
“You only saw her a couple of times. I can’t believe you remember her so well.”
“I remember everything about our time together.”
The ache in his voice unsettled her stomach, and she felt the s’mores churning. Had she really caused him so much pain by distancing herself? At the time, she had thought she was doing him a favor. No one knew how to react around a young woman facing death’s door, especially a man. But then, avoiding uncomfortable topics wasn’t really Justin’s style.
Lost in her guilt, she didn’t realize he’d reached out his hand again until she felt him brush a strand of hair from her forehead. Her heart skipped a beat as his fingers lingered on her face, tracing the curve of her cheek with a feather-light touch.
A shiver coursed down her spine. Stunned by his gesture, she couldn’t move or speak. What was he doing?
As she watched him lean toward her, his eyes fixated on her lips, she knew his intent. Her instincts begged her to bridge the gap between them, to hasten his lips to hers, but her logical side clamped down on the impulse before she could follow through.
Just before his lips touched hers, she bolted to a sitting position, her pulse pounding in her ears.
“Sorry,” he whispered, his fingers brushing down her back.
He had nothing to be sorry about. She wanted to feel his lips against hers, but she couldn’t. “Justin, I—”
“I should have waited.” He sat up and scooted next to her, their legs almost touching, which surprised her. Most men who’d been rejected took a while to recover.
“Did you know I have an impulsive side?” He threw her a smile, but even in the dark, she could tell it was forced.
Mandy shook her head. “Certainly not. You’re one of the least impulsive people I know.” Her stomach dropped as the reality of her words sank in. Justin was calm and collected, even in the most stressful situations. He never did anything rash. If he was going in for a kiss, he’d thought about it before. Probably a lot.
The tent filled with a silence so thick even the surf couldn’t cut through it. She rubbed her temple until her unspoken words became too much to bear. “I thought we were friends.”
His fingertips trailed her wrist, her hand, and her fingers with the gentlest of pressure. “We were friends because that’s all I could have with you. It was better than nothing.”
His gentle touch made her dizzy, and her thoughts jumbled together. “What does that mean?” She felt like an idiot for needing it spelled out for her, but she could not believe he’d had feelings for her even while she was with Ty. The idea was absurd.
He sighed. “It means I need to keep my big mouth shut.”
“And your hands to yourself.” The instant Justin jerked back, she regretted her words, but when she looked at him, expecting hurt, nothing but resolve stiffened his angular jaw.
He snorted an exasperated sound. “You can’t tell me you didn’t have a good time today. You were supposed to leave after an hour. It’s ten o’clock at night, and you’re still here.”
“We’re friends.”
Justin squared his shoulders. “I’m not
asking you to marry me. I just want a shot. If you decide you’re not interested, fine. But don’t shut me down before you even give me a chance.”
Mandy blew out a huge breath. “Lori said this get-together was about more than sunbathing.”
“Smart girl,” he said flatly.
She hated the disappointment in his tone, but she had way too much baggage for Justin to lug around. In a year, she could be dead if the cancer came back, and she wasn’t going to subject someone to her uncertain future.
She buried her head in her hands, confused and worn out and wishing her disease didn’t govern her life. God, she was attracted to Justin. He had a heart as big as the Gulf, but until she was more emotionally and physically stable, she wouldn’t risk another failed relationship. If the cancer didn’t kill her, the heartbreak would. “I won’t date until I’m sure I’ve beat my cancer.”
He leaned into her and narrowed his eyes. “Is that the truth or an excuse?”
“The truth.”
“That’s not a good reason,” he whispered. “You don’t know if your cancer’s coming back any more than I know if I’ll die in a car wreck tomorrow. I don’t let my fear keep me off the road. You shouldn’t either.”
“You don’t know what I’ve been through this year.”
“If you’d let me into your life, I would.”
“I can’t.”
“I’m not Ty.”
“Believe me, I know that.”
“I don’t think you do.” He took both of her hands in one of his and, with his other hand, he cupped her cheek, forcing her to look at him. Terrified he’d see her fear, she tried to drop her gaze. With a gentle push of his hand, he forced her to lock eyes with him. Her breath caught when she saw the resolve and fire behind his brown eyes.
He wiped a tear from her cheek with a brush of his thumb. “Let’s say the cancer never happened, and Ty didn’t exist. You met me at a bar while you were hanging out with Lori. If I’d asked you on a date, would you’ve been interested?”
The Calling Page 5
