‘Jake, we mustn’t allow ourselves to get carried away,’ she mumbled.
Then her limbs dissolved into jelly as his lips moved down to the sweet little hollow in her neck and from there to the swell of her cleavage, covering the soft skin there with the lightest of butterfly kisses.
How could she stop herself responding when trails of electric desire flickered through her body, delicious sensations turned her insides to liquid? She wound her arms round his neck, pulling him closer, straining against him and abandoning herself to a sea of passion that washed over her, helping her to forget the anguish of her father’s remarriage and Toby’s betrayal. She was powerless to do what she knew she should—pull right away from the man, force him to stop!
‘God, but you’re beautiful, Cara—every inch of you,’ he whispered, his hands fumbling for the buttons on her blouse. He pulled the garment gently away from her, unhooking her bra so that her breasts spilled out of it, full and soft.
The rug was soft, the flickering fire still warm as he pulled her down beside him. His face looked down at hers, strong in the half-light, and his hands were magical, touching her body so that it screamed with arousal. Then his body straddled hers, hard and demanding, and she melted against him, unable and not wanting to stop what he was doing.
Cara closed her eyes and turned her face towards his, waiting for the kiss she expected, then opened them again when nothing happened. Jake was staring down at her, a tormented expression on his face. With a low groan he rolled over to one side and lay on his back with his eyes fixed on the ceiling.
A bleak feeling of disappointment filtered through her. ‘Is…is something the matter?’ she whispered anxiously. ‘Are you all right?’
He sat up and shook his head, his voice harsh. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that—not started making love to you. I was just overcome by how beautiful you are, but I should never have led you on…. It’s unfair of me.’
Cara sat up and stared at him, a feeling of acute embarrassment mixed with hurt filling her. She felt confused—one minute she was in his arms and he was fiery in his passion, the next minute he had drawn away from her and was telling her he shouldn’t have led her on. Bitterly she reflected that she should have known from Ursula’s warning that Jake went so far with relationships and no further. In a way it was her fault for being so easily seduced, allowing something like this to happen. Then a cold fury gradually overtook her and her eyes blazed across at him.
‘What do you mean, you shouldn’t have done it? How could you lead me on, pretending that you were trying to comfort me, taking advantage of my situation? You…you’re nothing but a louse.’
Jake sat down on a sofa and put his head in his hands. ‘I know,’ he muttered. ‘It was despicable, I should never have touched you.’
Cara buttoned up her blouse and moved over to the fireplace, away from him, sickened at how easily she had gone along with him.
‘Too true,’ she snapped. ‘You’ve made a fool of me—but I should have known.’
‘The trouble is, Cara, I couldn’t help myself,’ Jake said in a low voice.
She looked down at him scornfully. ‘Don’t give me that—I’m just one in a long line, aren’t I? One of the many women whom you’ve seduced and then cast aside because you’re too focussed on your damn career.’
His face darkened and he stood up, facing her with a frown. ‘It’s not like that at all. What do you mean? Perhaps it’s not a good idea for colleagues to be too close, but it’s nothing to do with my career—what gave you that idea?’
‘I heard the truth from your sister. I should have listened to her, shouldn’t I? She warned me that you’d had plenty of girls flinging themselves at you to no avail. Well, let me tell you something, Dr Donahue, you don’t need to worry that Dan and I will hold you back from the ladder of success!’
‘That’s simply ridiculous!’ Then he looked at Cara silently. Ursula had been through too much on his account, and loyalty to his sister held him back from explanations. He didn’t want to imply that Ursula would stop him having a relationship, or that he felt it was unfair to Cara to saddle her with the responsibility of his sister’s life.
He put his hands on Cara’s shoulders and looked into her stormy eyes. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he said gently. ‘You can’t know how much I wish things were different. The best thing is to try and keep our relationship on a strictly professional basis from now on.’ His eyes swept over her lingeringly, a touch of sadness in their depths, and he said in a low voice, ‘Don’t think too badly of me, Cara. We have to try and work together.’
‘How can we work together?’ she burst out. ‘The whole situation is ridiculous! OK, perhaps being too close to a colleague might not work for you—but one thing I know for sure, that being one of your cast-offs isn’t going to work for me either! In the circumstances, over the next few weeks I shall be keeping my eyes open for another job—somewhere a little more relaxing, where my colleagues can be trusted!’
They stared at each other for a second, then he turned and left the room abruptly. Cara watched him leave, and tears started pouring down her face. How could he have done this to her—allowed her to experience the heady heights of passion and then snatch it all away? She dabbed her eyes and gazed unseeingly into the crackling fire. It was all too horribly familiar, this scenario, she thought bitterly. They said experience was a great teacher, but she had learned nothing from the past, and now she had been humiliated yet again.
CHAPTER NINE
JAKE DONAHUE stared gloomily in front of him. He hadn’t looked once at the article in the medical journal he’d picked up ten minutes ago. The truth was that he couldn’t bring himself to be interested in ‘Inner City Hygiene—Methods for Managing Waste Effectively.’ All he could think of was Cara and how he’d humiliated her—the last person on this earth he wanted to hurt!
He’d been a fool to think that his good intentions of comforting her when she’d become upset would stop at that—a soothing cuddle. Somehow his longing to make love to her had completely taken over, and for a second he’d allowed himself the fantasy that they could be together. As if, he thought wryly, a future together would ever work—a young mother having to cope with a possessive and jealous sister to whom he owed everything.
He scowled and threw the journal down. He’d been selfish, and now he had to pay the price. Cara barely talked to him and when she did it was polite but terse and very, very chilly. And to make matters worse, he knew she was looking for another job!
He jumped when the buzzer rang stridently in his ear, glad of something to divert his thoughts.
‘Yes? What is it?’ he said abruptly.
‘There’s a visiting patient here in a lot of pain. Could you see him before lunch, Jake?’
There was a slightly reproachful air about Karen’s voice, which made Jake wince. He knew he’d been short and irritable with everyone for a few weeks now—ever since the catastrophe with Cara. He would have to start sounding more mellow, or even dear Karen, now back hale and hearty in Reception, would barely talk to him!
‘Better send him in then,’ Jake said in a gentler tone.
Jake looked up as a pleasant-looking man with short blond hair came through the door, and his expression changed to one of surprised pleasure.
He strode round his desk and shook hands with him. ‘Why, Chris! Chris Renshaw! Haven’t seen you in ages—not since we were housemen together! I thought you lived down South. This isn’t your usual patch, is it?’
Chris Renshaw shook his head, and said in rather an indistinct voice, ‘I was staying with my aunt in the village for a night or two to do some fishing. I meant to contact you, but she’d arranged a dinner party round me so I hadn’t the time—and now I’m on my way home for a wedding.’
‘So this isn’t a social visit, then?’
‘Not exactly,’ said Chris, smiling rather sheepishly. ‘I need your professional opinion. I’m afraid, as a thoracic surgeon, my knowledge seems to be
mostly about the chest cavity! I know it’s your lunch-hour, but your receptionist took pity on me.’
‘Of course! Whatever you’re here for, it’s great to see you! How can I help?’
‘I’m finding it a bit difficult to give my cheeky smile or eat at the moment,’ explained Chris. ‘My jaw’s stiffened up overnight and I can’t open my mouth more than about a centimetre.’ He added wryly, ‘People are always telling me I’ll get lockjaw from talking too much—and now I think they’re right!’
Jake pursed his lips sympathetically. ‘I should think you’re in a lot of pain.’ He felt the man’s jaw, trying to wiggle it gently and see what movement he had. ‘You probably realise your jaw’s become partly dislocated. The muscles are in spasm, preventing the jawbone from relocating.’
‘That’s what it feels like. It’s darned uncomfortable—is it my TMJ?’
‘That’s right—temperomandibular joint dysfuction! A short course of Valium should relax the muscles, and anti-inflammatory painkillers will reduce the swelling.’
‘At least I might be able to eat and sleep properly then,’ mumbled Chris.
‘You ought to see a dentist as soon as possible—perhaps a gum shield at night could prevent the problem recurring.’ Jake grinned at Chris as he printed out a prescription for him. ‘We haven’t seen enough of each other since we worked together—and since those days I believe you’ve acquired a wife and several children, right?’
‘That’s right! Three little ones. Best thing I ever did was to marry Jenny. Never regretted it, even though my golf handicap’s gone up!’ Chris raised his brows enquiringly at Jake. ‘What about you? Don’t tell me you’re still fancy-free.’
Jake grinned ruefully. ‘Afraid I’m still a dedicated old bachelor—and likely to remain so.’
‘I seem to remember you were the man everyone thought would fall off the shelf first!’
Jake’s laugh was rather forced. ‘I don’t think I’ve got your touch when it comes to women. Perhaps I’ve too many excuses not to take the plunge!’
Chris looked at him sharply, as if sensing he’d touched a nerve, and said casually, ‘How’s your sister? I remember how badly injured she was by those brutes when we were housemen together.’
‘I wish she’d get out more, but I’m afraid she’s been really antisocial since then. Absolutely refused to have facial reconstruction, although I did my best to persuade her.’
‘She was a very brave girl—give her my regards.’ Chris stood up, folding his prescription and putting it in his pocket. He held his hand out to Jake who shook it warmly. ‘Thanks a lot, Jake. I’m very grateful to you.’ He paused for a second, then said lightly, ‘Next time I see you I expect to see you hitched. Tempus fugit, you know—remember, no one can wind back the clock!’ He turned at the door and gave a salute with his hand. ‘I’ll be in touch—so long!’
For a few seconds after Chris had left, Jake stared at the screen in front of him. Too right that time was flying by, he thought. He’d been a GP here for five years and in that time Chris had got married and had children—moved on, in fact. In another five years would he, Jake, still be here, a bachelor living with his sister? He sprang up from his desk in irritation and went into the corridor, standing for a moment outside Cara’s door. Why didn’t he just march in and tell her that he loved and adored her, and to hell with his worries about his sister? Chris was absolutely right!
He lifted his hand to knock on the door, then let it fall again. What was the point of trying to build bridges when Cara thought nothing of him now?
The door opened abruptly and Cara came out, replacing her initial startled expression at seeing him with a cool stare.
‘Excuse me,’ she said, sweeping past him and going into the office behind Reception. ‘Karen, could you tell that rep I’ll see him for lunch in a few minutes? And don’t forget, I’m off this afternoon, thank goodness. I could do with a rest!’
‘Doing anything nice?’ said Karen.
‘Taking Dan to the beach—he’s got a kite and is longing to try it out!’
‘Some rest!’ Karen smiled. ‘Mind you don’t get blown out to sea!’
Suddenly Cara sat down on one of the chairs and hugged her arms round her stomach for a minute, biting her lips.
Karen looked at her in consternation. ‘Got a problem?’ she asked.
‘No, no,’ said Cara, shaking her head and grimacing slightly. ‘Just a painful period, that’s all. I seem to suffer that way recently. Not to worry, I’ll just take a painkiller and get a really good lunch out of this rep!’
Cara lifted her head towards the sea and breathed in the sharp scent. The air felt fresh and invigorating, just what she needed after the past few weeks. A renewed surge of energy seemed to flow through her and she vowed to try and take more exercise now the better weather was coming—it might help these painful periods.
‘Off you go, Dan. Take your kite! I’ll lock the car and follow you.’
Dan scampered off, full of excitement at having his mother to himself and the prospect of playing with his new toy.
Cara’s eyes swept over the wonderful backdrop of sea and mountain—another week or two and the bright gorse would soon be out, spreading like a golden carpet over the lower hills. Unconsciously she lifted her chin defiantly. Despite that darned man, Jake Donahue, she was going to be optimistic about the future!
Wryly she admitted to herself that it had been partly her fault that things had gone awry—Ursula had told her what the score was regarding Jake and women, and she’d taken no notice. And now, although Jake still came too often into her thoughts, he’d humiliated and embarrassed her and she had to forget about him. She pressed her lips together firmly and bent her head against the slight wind. It was time to look ahead and think of her little boy’s future, and how she could do her best for him.
She watched Dan running ahead of her along the small parade that led down to the sand, holding his kite in front of him. How lucky she was to have such a perfect little son, so much fun and so energetic. It made up for everything that was happening in other parts of her life.
He stopped to speak to someone sitting on the path by the sand dunes, one of the many artists who were tempted to come and paint this part of the coastline—so dramatic with the mountains rising steeply away from the shore and the contrasting colours of sky and land. There was an easel in front of the woman and Dan was pointing at something on her canvas. Cara could see the woman throw back her head and laugh at something Dan had said. Cara smiled, knowing how winning Dan could be.
‘Don’t be a nuisance, Dan,’ she called, starting to run towards him. ‘The lady doesn’t want to be disturbed, I’m sure.’
Dan and the woman turned round at Cara’s voice, and Cara realised with surprise that it was Ursula Donahue.
Ursula looked at Cara with a slight smile and a raised brow. ‘Ah, so it’s Dr Cara Mackenzie! If this is your little boy, he’s not disturbing me in the least,’ she said. ‘Actually, it’s quite nice to have someone ask me about my painting—although,’ she said drily, ‘he doesn’t mince his words. Says my colours are funny!’
Dan looked at her earnestly. ‘I like it, though. I think it’s really very nice!’ Then he frowned, and put a chubby hand to her scarred cheek. ‘Have you hurt yourself? Is it sore?’
Cara held her breath. It was no good being cross with the child. He’d said it so sweetly, surely Ursula would know a boy of his age didn’t mean to be offensive? She bit her lip and watched the woman with slight trepidation.
Ursula went very red for a second, staring in a peculiar way at the child. Then she took his hand very gently and held it in hers. ‘Nobody’s asked me that before. Adults aren’t quite so upfront with their remarks—although,’ she added wryly, ‘I know what they’re thinking. Sometimes it is a bit sore in the cold weather, but I think I’ve got used to it now.’
There was something different in Ursula’s voice as she spoke to Dan—a softer, kinder timbre to her tone
, less terse than usual. ‘And your name’s Dan, is it?’ she enquired. ‘Do you paint, Dan?’
He nodded solemnly. ‘I paint pictures for my granddad. He puts them up in his bedroom—he says he’s going to ask everyone to come and see them.’ He smiled beguilingly at Ursula. ‘You can come if you like!’
A gleam of humour shone in Ursula’s eyes. ‘Thank you. I’d like to see your paintings very much.’
Dismissing the subject from his mind, Dan hurled the kite up in the air and watched it drift down to the beach. Cara bent down and pulled up the zip on his jacket as the wind got up slightly.
‘Why don’t you unwind the string, Dan, and start running along the sand with it? I’ll come and help you in a minute.’
He scampered off and Ursula watched his robust little figure doing his best to get the kite to rise from the ground.
‘He…he’s quite a little charmer,’ she murmured, almost to herself. ‘In some ways he reminds me of Jake when he was little…’
She looked up at Cara as if suddenly aware that she’d spoken out loud, and gave a slightly embarrassed laugh. ‘I don’t see many children these days,’ she said, as if in explanation.
Cara smiled. ‘I’m very lucky to have him,’ she said. ‘May I look at your painting?’
Cara drew in a deep breath of delight and amazement—it was powerful, almost three-dimensional in its approach, drawing the viewer into the landscape, flooding the eye with colour that reflected the scene before her.
‘Ursula,’ she gasped. ‘That is the most wonderful painting. I…I’ve never seen anything like it. Your brother told me you painted but I had no idea you were so talented. Why don’t you exhibit these paintings?’
Ursula gave a short laugh. ‘Nobody would be interested in what I do,’ she muttered. ‘Anyway, I do them for myself, not for strangers to gawp at.’
‘I can imagine these pictures giving tremendous pleasure to people—even those who don’t know the area.’ Cara looked searchingly at Ursula. Perhaps she really meant that she didn’t want people gawping at her—that by going public as it were, she too would be on view.
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