by Susan Hatler
“Dad, I know you’re upset that I backed out of the project, but it couldn’t be helped. Yes, I’m still going to Japan as we agreed. I’ll head over there in a day or two . . . I know you want me to run the business there . . . I can absolutely set it up and get it running in a matter of months, no problem . . .”
He was leaving for Japan and he’d be gone for months? Maybe even forever, like Ian had—only this time would be worse. I was so much more in love with Max than I’d ever been with anyone before. Tears blinded me as my worst fears came true. Again. This was exactly why I hadn’t wanted to get involved with Max. But his dad must’ve put too much pressure on him. Now, it was settled. For him anyway. I, on the other hand, felt devastated.
****
I turned and ran. The sound of my footsteps along the wooden floors was very loud but I didn’t care. I almost ran into the banister, and when I hit the turn in the landing I nearly lost my footing. For one second I had an awful vision of my body tumbling down the stairs and landing hard at the bottom. That would be just my rotten luck.
I heard Max’s door open and he called out my name, but I didn’t stop. My heart had shattered into millions of pieces, and every shard sent fresh pain into my entire body.
He was going away just when I’d gotten used to him being here, and just when I thought we really had a shot at that stupid happily ever after thing. I knew he had planned to go to Tokyo temporarily, but not for months. People grew apart in that amount of time, and met other people.
I knew better. I knew that people left. It was what they did, and had always done. I knew that from hard experience. I hit the back porch, stubbed my toe on the top step, and grunted loudly as I flew down the steps and headed to the beach.
My vision blurred and doubled as my feet met the sand. Sand spurted out from under my feet and I stopped just short of the waves, which were raging and hissing today. That was apt and I stood there, staring at the white curds of foam cresting and spitting onto the sand.
“Wendy!” Max’s voice came from behind me. I didn’t turn around. I considered running right into the waves in a huge tragic gesture, but the water curling over my toes was too cold to really give that a try.
Lucky didn’t think the water was too cold. She ran out in front of me and began to romp in the waves joyfully. Max came up beside me and said, “Wendy, talk to me. What’s going on?”
“How could you do that to me?” My voice was sharp, but so was the pain in my heart. “How could you do that and not even tell me!”
“How did you find out . . .?” His voice trailed off and he spread his hands wide, palms toward the ground in a calming gesture. “Let me explain, please. Originally, my dad heard the inn might go on the market, and that’s why I came here that day. But I canceled that project with my dad after I met you. I told him we couldn’t buy the inn, because I could see how special it was to you and your family.”
My jaw nearly hit the ground, and my body went numb. What in the world was Max saying to me? He wasn’t talking about Japan. It sounded like he’d wanted to buy my inn. That did not compute, not one little bit.
“Last week the offer from the Totskys came in and I had no choice but to submit a higher offer through my company. I couldn’t let it go to those sharks, not when they were just going to rip it down. I would’ve told you the offer you accepted was from me, but I wanted to give you time to change your mind. I’ve been waiting for you to tell me you regretted accepting the offer, so I could cancel it. But you haven’t done that.”
I was too confused and hurt to be calm. I sort of wanted to kick the nearest thing, but since the nearest thing was Max I stifled that urge. “You’re the one who’s buying my inn? You betrayed me? You lied to me?”
“Didn’t you know?” He gripped both sides of his head, then let his hands fall to his waist. “I didn’t tell you I was initially interested in buying the inn, because I thought after you did all that work to fix it up, you would keep it, and run it with Brian like your grandma wanted. At that point, it wouldn’t have mattered that I’d planned to buy it, because you wouldn’t be selling it anyway. But then the Totskys offer came in and I had no choice.”
My legs went weak and it was amazing I didn’t fall over. “Y-You only helped us fix the inn up, because you were buying it yourself. You didn’t help because you cared about me. You were only looking at your bottom line, just like your parents trained you to do!” The words came out in a shout, but the hurt exploded from me.
Max shook his head and kicked an incoming wave but it did no good. The water just broke over the toe of his shoe and ran back into the incoming tide. He growled, and ran his hands through his hair. “That is absolutely not true. Why can’t you trust me, Wendy? I helped you with the inn because I wanted to help you, not because my life would be easier if the place was already renovated before I bought it. I worked on the inn to spend time with you, and because I was hoping you would see the inn for how beautiful it is, and want to stay.”
I took a deep breath. Thinking when I’m hurt was not my strong suit. I walked toward the plaque that told the story of the Kissed by the Bay legend and stood there, trying to breathe, trying to think. But all I could concentrate on was how fake that legend was, and how like that pathetic woman I was. Only she had never been betrayed like I had been, and by the very man I’d thought could make the legend come true for me.
The water was loud, roaring in my ears as it screamed and beat against the shore. Max walked up beside me. “Wendy, you’re being unreasonable.”
I glared at him. “I’m being unreasonable? I didn’t try to buy your company and not tell you!”
“This is a problem that can be solved. I should’ve told you, but I didn’t. I’m sorry. It happened and it’s over. Why can’t you ever just let things go?”
Let things go? He’d bought my inn behind my back! I turned to him with a stony stare. “I’m good at letting things go, actually.”
Hurt showed in his face. It stung my heart, but it was too late to take the words back, and what was more I didn’t want to. “Are you talking about letting me go?” He turned away, and then he faced me again. “This is ridiculous. If you don’t want to sell the inn, if you’re so hurt by that, then why don’t you just keep it?”
My eyes ached. The wind picked up and the sand and grit blew against my lower legs and feet. I shook my head. “I can’t keep it.”
“You don’t want to,” he said, firmly.
I lifted my hands and dropped them again. “No. I can’t. My grandma’s will won’t allow us to keep the inn. We have to sell it.”
His mouth fell open. He stepped back, then took a step toward me. I could see his mind reeling. “If you had told me that . . .”
My fists balled at my sides. “I didn’t know you well enough to tell you!”
Max straightened. “Is that right? You don’t know me well enough to tell me that. You don’t trust me enough to tell me, and you don’t trust me enough to believe that I helped you because I wanted to, not because of a bottom line. Wow, Wendy. I don’t even know what to say to that.”
I jabbed my finger toward the ground. “You didn’t trust me either. You never told me you had put in that offer.”
He blew out a breath. “I didn’t think it mattered.”
I looked over at the plaque. I wanted to believe him, but how could I believe that? How could I believe that he had just helped me because he wanted to, and not because he wanted the inn? How could I believe any of what he told me, or how I felt about him? How could I even believe that what he felt about me was real? That offer floated between us, a poisoned cloud that made everything between us seem dark and wrong.
“It matters, Max. It matters a whole lot. You should have told me.”
He stared me down. “And you should have told me about your Grandma’s will.”
I crossed my arms, shivering in the breeze. “Well, I didn’t. I can’t change that now.”
He leaned closer. I wanted to let him pu
t his arms around me and hold me tightly. I wanted to bury my face in his shirt and smell his cologne and the soap he bathed with. I couldn’t do that, though. Pain and doubt wracked through my body, and I had to be strong to protect myself.
He held his palms up. “We both did something that wasn’t right. I admit that I should have told you. I wish I had. I didn’t mean to put a wedge between us, and after I started helping you and falling for you, I feared what brought me here, what brought me to you, might hurt us. So I said nothing. I’m sorry. I’m asking you to forgive me. I’m asking you to trust me. If you can’t, or won’t, things can never be right between us. You have to know that.”
I did know that. I just didn’t know how to let go of the pain and the confusion. I didn’t know how to believe that he had done everything he had for me, and not for his business.
“Trust you?” My voice was hoarse. “When I just found out you’re going to Japan for months. You never told me that, either.” I kicked a seashell back into the water, watching it sink until it disappeared.
He sighed, staring out at the water. “Wendy, it is just temporary. How long I’ll be gone is still in negotiations.”
“You’ll never settle down. You’re too much like my parents.” I kicked a few more shells and couple of pebbles into the water. Little spouts of water shot up, mirroring my emotions.
“Please don’t judge me based on your parents. It might be high time you stopped feeling abandoned every time someone has to go away for a little while.”
He didn’t usually talk to me like that. He sounded a bit angry, and I felt shame at his words. Brian told me I needed to let the pain go, and now Max was basically saying the same thing. They were right. I had spent so much of my life feeling like the orphaned kid, and it was starting to wear thin but that didn’t mean I knew how to let go of the pain.
I opened my mouth to say something, but he cupped my face in his hands. “This business is only temporary. I’m coming back. This is home for me. I’m not leaving this town . . . or you. Can’t you see that? Can’t you believe in me?”
I wanted to believe. But all I could see was everything ending.
A huge splash of water landed on my legs. I turned to see Lucky gamboling about in the waves. Just as I turned my head to look she shook her entire body, sending more water spraying across us. Great, I’d smell like wet dog on top of everything else.
“I just don’t see how we can work through this.” I dropped my head back, staring at the cloudy sky, hoping for an answer. But I couldn’t see one. “I don’t know how to let the hurt go . . .”
He kissed me. His mouth came down on mine, warm and firm and I closed my eyes, letting my body sag into his. His arms went around me, and I let him hold me. The bits and pieces of my heart were poking holes through my skin. I could feel myself bleeding from every little prick.
He broke the kiss off, and looked me in the eye. “Relationships are like a roller coaster ride. There are ups and downs, fast turns, and drops. You can’t give up when you’re hurt. You have to fight for us, Wendy. If you care about me, you will.”
My throat went dry. “We can’t make it work if you’re not here. I can’t do long distance, and I’ve told you that the entire time. Plus, you lied to me. I don’t know how to get past that. We can’t work this out, and never should’ve started anything in the first place. I’m sorry.”
His eyes flickered with pain and I turned away, heading back up the steps to the inn. Lucky let out a long howl. I wanted to turn around, but I was afraid to look at Max. I’d hurt him, and I’d hurt myself, too. But it was better to hurt now than later, say in a month, when he stopped calling and he didn’t come back like he’d planned.
I’d been hurt before, and could still feel the phantom pain. But going through that over Max would be so much worse. I loved him. If he forgot about me, I’d never recover. He said he’d come back, but I couldn’t trust his words when he’d been lying to me this entire time. It was better to break it off now and grieve for a little while, than sit around for months, suspended and waiting, for the worse pain that was sure to come.
****
My feet hit the old boards of the front porch. The sound of my heart and my feet echoed in my ears. I had just walked away from the man that I loved, and it felt like a huge mistake. I needed a distraction. I needed to work.
The lobby was still deserted and silent. Where in the world was Brian? I went to the desk and checked behind it for any signs that he’d been there while I’d been on the beach, shooting my relationship dead.
Nothing.
Breakfast would be over at the diner by now and Brian should have been back already if that was where they had gone. So, where was he? And where were my parents?
There were guests arriving today and my mom had promised to make muffins for the guests, so we could offer treats and pastries like Grandma used to do. I walked to the dining room. Still deserted. I tried not to look through the windows and out at the beach beyond, but my eyes were drawn there anyway. Max tossed something into the water and Lucky jumped in after it. I wanted to join them, but the pain of his betrayal was still fresh and raw.
Besides, where had everyone gone? I listened intently at the bottom of the stairs. There was nothing coming from the rooms where we all slept. Uneasiness surfaced and I tried to dismiss it, but it wouldn’t shrug off so easily.
Had some alien ship arrived in the middle of the night and hauled off my family? Had they decided to ditch work at the inn today and go out for an excursion? If so, why hadn’t they woken me up or at least asked me to go with them?
I trudged up the stairs, and pressed my ear to Brian’s door. Maybe he was napping. He could snore quite loudly, but I heard nothing. I put a hand on the doorknob and opened it. His bed was a mess, so it had been slept in, but otherwise there were no signs of life or my brother.
I frowned, closed the door, then went to Grandma’s master suite, which was the room my parents were using. I knocked several times, but got no answer. I knocked again. My knuckles hit the wood hard enough that they stung slightly, but there was still no answer.
Frustrated, I opened their door a crack and peeked in. Unlike Brian’s room, theirs was neat as a pin, and their bed was made up. When I opened the door wider, I noticed a sheet of paper propped up against the pillows on the bed. What the . . .?
My knees almost gave out. I didn’t want to read the note, but I had to know what it said. I took slow steps across the room, telling myself the entire time that it would just be a note saying they had gone to visit some wineries, or maybe to the farmer’s market. But when I lifted the paper, and read the few words, my hopes vanished.
My parents were gone.
They had left me again.
This time they hadn’t even had the guts to tell us they were leaving. Instead, they left this stupid note, written in Mom’s loopy handwriting, propped up on the pillows of Grandma’s bed.
I crumpled the paper in my fist, and threw it at the wall. Tears streamed down my face and I screamed as loud as I could, before clapping my hands to my mouth. All I needed was to have to explain myself to guests that I wasn’t being attacked, but I may as well have been.
My parents were gone.
They’d left us.
Again.
Chapter Seventeen
I couldn’t believe how few clothes I’d brought with me to Blue Moon Bay. How had I ever made do with such a short supply of things? I stared at the miniscule amount of jewelry on my bathroom counter, spotting the single Peridot earring, and my heart squeezed.
I remembered that first night out on the beach with Max. He’d noticed the one earring missing, and I could almost feel the touch of his fingers against my skin as he’d brushed my hair back behind my ear. It had only been hours since we’d ended things, and I already ached from missing him. I reminded myself that he’d let me down by keeping a huge secret from me.
He’d had his reasons, though. And he hadn’t known that Grandma’s will ma
ndated that Brian and I had to sell the inn, or it would be donated to charity. He hadn’t known, because I hadn’t told him. I should’ve trusted him, and he should’ve trusted me, too. What a mess we’d made of something that had started out so perfect. I wanted to fix things between us, but I didn’t know how to mend a relationship once it had been broken.
I looked down at the clothes strewn across my bed, waiting to go in the suitcase. Tears threatened, but I brushed them back. I couldn’t stay in Blue Moon Bay after all. It wasn’t old, painful memories driving me away this time. It was new fresh pain.
I slammed a dresser drawer shut and then kicked the closet door closed. I grabbed a heap of undergarments, and tossed them into the suitcase. More tears threatened, and this time I couldn’t hold them back. Walking on the beach with Max had been a simple pleasure, but one that filled me with joy. When I’d worn Grandma’s big hat, it had been like she was walking with us, and I knew she’d be proud of the responsible man that little balcony-jumping boy had become.
Of course Max couldn’t blow off going to Tokyo. He’d made that promise to his dad before he’d met me, before he’d fallen in love with Blue Moon Bay. Max wasn’t the kind of man who would go back on his word. I missed him so much in such a short time.
I had to get back to Sacramento, and get my life back on track. I had to put this whole mess behind me and start over again.
My suitcase looked ridiculously small, but it wasn’t like I’d thrown much into the suitcase when I’d been so stunned and horrified from the news of Grandma’s passing. It had only been a few weeks, but it felt like a lifetime ago. So much had happened.
My cell phone chimed, and my heart raced suddenly. Max! I grabbed my phone, and stared at the screen, but it wasn’t Max. It was Janine.
I swiped the screen with my finger, and the message came up: Good news that you’re coming home. That other townhouse is still available. You’re going to make your dreams come true after all.
