Beast Within (Loup-Garou Series Book 3)

by Sheritta Bitikofer

  There was only one thing that could heal a mortal wound like that. Vampire tears had unique medicinal properties. In the dark ages, shamans and witches prized vampire tears, and Michael had heard of some vials being sold for a small fortune. They were said to cure the plague and even bring the dead back to life.

  Vampires did not often cry, making their tears a precious relic that mystics searched after all their lives.

  Michael held his hands behind his back and continued to speculate as he watched Logan struggle for the words. It was lunacy to suggest that the werewolf who stood before him had any vampire blood in him, but the theory of his miracle tears was compelling. Then again, perhaps it was pure coincidence. Katey, after all, did possess the immortal spirit of Tanatia and with that privilege, might have come abilities that they could not begin to fathom.

  Unable to wait for Logan to muster the courage, Michael spoke. “You think that because Katey is so special, that you can’t possibly match her.” He took a few steps forward. “My friend, love is not a competition. If Katey’s parentage makes her unattainable, then you don’t understand what love is.”

  Logan looked to Michael, a warning in his glare.

  “Love,” Michael continued, “does not fabricate excuses. It wants what it will want, and no force on earth can tear it asunder.” He held up a cautionary finger. “Unless you allow it to. If you continue to push her away on the grounds that you find yourself inadequate, then you have already lost her.”

  “Katey deserves better than me.”

  “No,” Michael barked. “She deserves the kind of love that you can give her. If you don’t pull up your trousers and realize that she will die inside without your love, then she will never fulfill her mission.”

  “I’m sure she could do fine without me.”

  Michael scowled. “So, then you don’t love her?”

  Logan snarled. “I do love her. She’s the only thing I’ve ever loved in this world.”

  “All I’m hearing are excuses and lies that you’ve probably been feeding yourself for your entire life. The pack can do without you. Darren would be relieved that a disobedient pup left him. Dustin would be happier with a more stable grandson. Katey would be better off with a man who wasn’t so jealous and insecure. These lies will become the truth if you let them fester in your mind for the rest of your life.”

  Michael leaned forward. “Or, you can make a choice to believe that your pack cares about you. You can choose to believe that Darren and Dustin love you as if you were their son. You can make a choice to believe every word that Katey tried to pound into your head earlier tonight.”

  Logan shook his head. “It’s not that easy. I don’t know how it is for you vamps, but I can’t just flip a switch.”

  “I don’t expect you to flip a switch. I expect you to retrace the steps that have led you down this self-destructive path and find where you went wrong in your thinking. It may take years, maybe decades, for you to come back to the place you once were before you decided to make yourself your own worst enemy. When you’re there, you’ll realize that you’ve been the mate that Katey has always deserved and the pack member that Darren has always needed.”

  Logan was silent, and Michael could see the wheels begin to turn in his mind. Yes, it would take a while to reverse the damage, but tonight would be the first night of many where Logan didn’t have to hate so strongly anymore.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Katey was on the porch before Michael and Logan even breached through the tree line of the front yard. She had changed into a comfortable pair of jeans and hooded sweater, glad to be free of her skirt and heels. The mating bond buzzed alive just seconds ago, increasing in its draw as Logan came closer to their property.

  For the last couple of hours, she and Dustin had been waiting as patiently as anyone might expect a pair of parents waiting for their rebellious child to return home. Dustin’s jaw had fully healed on the trip back to the house, but Katey wished it would have taken just a little bit longer because every other word that came out of his mouth was cruel and biting toward Logan and what he had done.

  No one could blame Dustin for his anger, but Katey might have been the only one to take her mate’s side on the matter. She understood now, more than ever, why Logan behaved so irrationally. If she had her empathic abilities before they left for Alaska the month before, they might have been able to avoid a great deal of heartache and stress. All of Logan’s bouts of jealousy could have been dealt with before they blossomed into this new level of imprudence.

  When she saw their figures dash out onto the field, Katey ran and leaped off the first step of the porch. Logan caught her in his arms before she could hit the ground. Her legs wrapped around his waist and arms around his neck as he held her close. His strong embrace was warm and calming, and Katey couldn’t sense the raging emotions that had almost swallowed him up earlier in the evening. Whatever Michael said or did had cured him for the moment.

  “I’m so sorry,” he whispered against her neck, sending veins of electricity through her nervous body.

  “I’m sorry, too. I didn’t know.” Now she did, and Katey would make wiser choices until Logan finally believed beyond the shadow of a doubt that she was fully and unabashedly committed to him.

  Michael stepped onto the porch and entered the house to give them some privacy. Dustin was not as considerate and stood at the threshold, sending an upsurge of negative vibes their way that made Katey shiver. To have been cooped up in the house with Dustin’s antipathy had been nearly unbearable and no amount of reasoning got through to him. With Darren and Ben out running as loups-garous in the forested part of their land, there was no one dominant enough to give him a lecture on forgiveness.

  “Logan! Inside!” the beta barked.

  Instead of insisting on a few more moments of bliss, Logan carried Katey inside as she hung onto him like a baby might cling to its mother. She giggled, despite the coming argument, and dropped to her feet as soon as Logan shut the door behind him.

  “I can’t believe you just ran off like that!” Dustin raged in his Irish burr. Katey didn’t even bother to look over her shoulder, but wrapped one arm around Logan’s waist in hopes that her presence might soften the hateful words there were about to fly.

  Logan surprised her. With his chin lifted, facing his firing squad with dignity, he let out a breath and said, “I’m sorry, Dustin. I’m sorry for striking you, and I’m sorry for running off. I wasn’t in my right mind.”

  There was a spark of confusion at his words, but Dustin continued without a break. “You’re damned right you weren’t in your right mind.”

  The heartfelt apology that Logan gave might not have healed Dustin’s wounded pride, but it was all he could offer for the time. Though, she did feel a significant difference in her fiancé that she hoped would be explained in time.

  Michael’s regal stride sounded down the hall, and Katey turned to face them. “Are you packed and ready to go?” he asked, successfully changing the subject.

  Dustin noticed the diversion and shot a perturbed look to the old vamp but said nothing in contradiction.

  Katey’s heart fell at the mention of leaving. Yes, she was packed, but she didn’t want to go. “Can’t we wait until morning so we can say goodbye to Darren and Ben?”

  Dustin’s nostrils flared. “Nope. You two are leaving. If Darren gets back and finds you two are still here, I’m going to get my arse chewed out.”

  “Can I have a moment alone with Katey before we leave?” Logan boldly requested.

  Dustin gave him a look as if he had asked for the moon on a silver platter. “You two can talk in the car on the way there.”

  He shook his head. “No. I want privacy. There are some things we need to talk about.”

  A sliver of fear pierced Katey’s chest, and she looked to Logan for an answer. He gave her a sincere smile in return, silently assuring her that it was nothing serious.

  All the time she had waited for him to come
home, Katey had wondered if he was beginning to have second thoughts about their mating and future together. Infidelity was never a possibility to her, but it was obviously more than a possibility to Logan. It had become a certainty in his mind, and Katey finally understood that after reading him outside the studio. What she didn’t understand was why, after all this time, would he even think that she would want anyone other than him?

  Dustin opened his mouth to protest, but Michael’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.

  “I have to make a few phone calls,” he said. “If they go have their talk, it will give me some time to investigate. My guards will escort you two wherever you want to go.”

  Katey sensed that Logan wasn’t completely satisfied with that deal, but he nodded.

  Dustin threw up his hands and turned away. “Fine. Fine. I’m going out with Darren and Ben. I need to blow off some steam.” He walked to the sliding glass door that led to the back garden. “I’ll see you two soon. Don’t get into trouble,” he said.

  “Be safe!” Katey called as he stepped out the door and shut it behind him with little more than a glance over his shoulder.

  Logan leaned past Katey and snagged up his motorcycle keys from the dish on the sideboard. In turn, she stooped down to pick up the two helmets sitting on the floor. With Darren not around to police their every move, autonomy seemed within their grasp for the first time all week.

  “I’ll wait until you return,” Michael said as he pulled out his cellphone and began to scroll through his many contacts.

  For as old as Michael was, he seemed fairly confident with a modern phone, just as Logan and the others were. It made Katey wonder sometimes how she would be able to keep up with the changing technology over the years.

  Logan ushered her out the door before she could say goodbye and whispered, “If we’re fast enough, we can outrun the guards.”

  Katey grinned and hurried to his sleek, black crotch-rocket motorcycle leaning on its kickstand beneath the carport next to Darren’s silver sedan. They mounted, both feeling the thrill of escape rise in their chests. The motorcycle wasn’t the fastest way to get around for them, but wherever Logan was planning to flee, they must have had to fly past civilians who would spot them running faster than a speeding car.

  They zoomed down the driveway and out to the highway that led through Crestucky. Katey remembered how she had once been terrified to straddle behind Logan on his bike. Now, she almost preferred it to riding in a car. Something was liberating about feeling the cool wind whip at her clothes and muss up her hair as it fluttered and twisted behind her. If Logan didn’t fuss at her so much, she would have ridden without the helmet on so she could taste the freedom. It was almost like running as a wolf but on blacktop and more rules about where one could and could not go.

  After a few moments, Katey looked over her shoulder to see if there were any vamps following along the shoulder of the road or in some tinted-windowed vehicle behind them. She saw no one. Either Michael had not ordered his guards to watch them, or they had successfully evaded their notice.

  Just before they reached Crestucky, Logan turned down a county road that was settled by only a few older houses with long driveways leading out to the street. Some of the lights in their windows were on, but others were darkened with only a porch light gleaming to guide visitors to the front door.

  They drove until the paved road became packed dirt and the bike wheels kicked up a cloud of dust in their wake. Katey heard the distant rumble of a train and smiled. Although not used for passenger transport, there was one set of railroad tracks that cut through the heart of Crestucky. A bridge allowed traffic to flow over the tracks during the day, but Katey rarely ever saw a cargo train chug down through the town.

  The bike slowed, and Logan steered it to the side of the road that was skirted by dense forest and shut off the engine. They were completely and utterly alone out here. The wind didn’t carry the signature scent of a vampire, and aside from themselves, no loups-garous were wandering the forests either. They were completely alone except for the crickets and the coming train.

  Logan helped her dismount, and when their helmets were off, he tugged on her hand to lead her down a beaten path in the woods.

  “Where are we going?” Katey giggled, feeling the responsibilities that had been thrust upon her life to be thousands of miles away. Here, with Logan, nothing else mattered.

  “You’ll see.”

  After some trekking through the underbrush, Katey heard the train drawing closer and closer. Ahead, she saw a break in the trees and the unmistakable glare of a bright, round light splitting through the forest.

  Beyond the edge of the trees, was the railroad tracks Katey had suspected and the midnight train was making its way slowly toward Crestucky.

  They quietly sat together and watched as the train ambled by. Neither of them spoke as they slipped their arms around each other.

  “What did Michael say to you?” Katey finally asked, relishing in the night and day difference she felt in Logan.

  He squeezed her tight, and she could sense the apprehension in him. “He just made me realize what a fool I’ve been.”

  She watched his eyes glisten in the soft moonlight. “What do you mean?”

  Logan went still for a moment as if waiting for the words to come of their own free will. When they didn’t, he forced them out. “All my life, I’ve never really had anything good. You know about my parents, and about my struggles to be a true loup-garou, but it’s more than that. I’ve never let myself enjoy life because I know that something or someone always comes along to ruin it.”

  “And you thought I was just one of those things that would pass away?”

  He nodded and swallowed hard. “I thought I knew for a fact that one day you would leave me, or that you would be killed. When you died, and I held you in my arms…” He paused and looked at her with a measure of sorrow in his beautiful eyes. “I thought that was it for you and me. I had fallen in love, and you were gone, just like that.”

  Katey nuzzled his shoulder. “But, I’m here now.”

  “I know you are.” He leaned his head against hers. “But I can’t help but wonder if there will be something else to take you from me… And when I found out your father was Adam, I began to wonder if you would take yourself from me.”

  She sat back and frowned. “Why would you think that? What does my dad have to do with anything between us?”

  Logan struggled with the words once more. “You see… Adam was more than just a man that tried to teach me how to change. He was like an idol, a hero. When the Devians were attacked, he was one of the only loups-garous who didn’t belong to the pack but stayed to help them escape. The last time I saw him, he was trying to rescue the women and children from the town. After that time, I heard stories of his heroism, his loyalty, and wisdom. I’ve never heard a bad thing about Adam in the whole time I’ve been a loup-garou.”

  He took a deep breath. “I thought, that if you understood how special your father was and how important you are to loups-garous, you’d start to think that you deserved someone better than me. Someone who can help you do everything that you need to do with the council. You don’t need me, a loup-garou who can’t even change at will.”

  A grin split Katey’s face. “If you keep putting me on a pedestal that high, you’ll never be able to reach me.”

  “But you belong on that pedestal,” he pleaded. Logan took her hand in his and kissed her palm. “You deserve every good and right thing in this world, and I know I can’t give it to you.”

  Katey flipped her hand and caressed his cheek, letting her immense love shine through her smile. “To me, you are every good and right thing. I don’t care if you can’t change at will, or if your loup-garou form had wings or could fit in my lap like a Chihuahua.”

  Logan chuckled and held her hand against his face, kissing it once more in relief. “You say that now, but what about at the council? When everyone sees that we’re together and t
hey know of my failure -”

  “Not being able to change at will is not a failure, Logan. You just haven’t been able to do it yet.”

  He lifted his eyes to her again. “But what if it delays the mating ceremony? What if you change your mind?”

  That was certainly something that Katey had feared, but not about changing her mind. Logan had seen how irate she became when Darren denied her training, which would delay their ceremony. Her incensed response did not make him feel any better, she was sure. Even though that was only a day ago, Katey was a different loup-garou now.

  “I will never change my mind about you, Logan. If the mating ceremony is delayed a few weeks, a few months, or even a few years, I’ll never stop loving you.”

  Logan leaned forward until their foreheads touched. “I want to believe you so badly.”

  “Then don’t fight it,” she whispered before twisting up to kiss his lips.

  He didn’t fight it. Logan returned the kiss and pulled her close until their bodies pressed together as they once did in a snowy forest in Alaska.

  The kiss was cut short as the wind carried the warning of an unwelcome visitor. Logan pulled away and looked off toward the murky forest. “Looks like they caught up with us,” he remarked in a grumble.

  Katey sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder, sure that she had never disliked the smell of a vampire more than she had in that moment. The train had almost passed them by now, towing along with it countless cargo containers that were vandalized with colorful graffiti art.

  “We can’t run away from our lives forever, I guess,” she said.

  Logan hung his arm around her shoulders. “Just know that I’m here for you, Katey.”

  She squirmed with delight. “I love it when you say my name. You make it sound pretty.”