Beast Within (Loup-Garou Series Book 3)

by Sheritta Bitikofer

  Logan gazed up at Katey in utter reverence. In the light of her heavenly glow, he felt like a sinner facing the God of judgment. He shouldn’t have been so close to her and the spirit that mirrored her every word and action – or was it the other way around? His nakedness and an endless list of wrongs were bared before her without censor.

  He should have crawled away or shielded himself from the penetrating light, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. He looked to Darren and the others – including Gregory, Forrest, and Michael who stayed behind while Anton escorted the hunters away. They all stared with just as much veneration, but they dared not to approach her.

  If the spirit was done with Drake, she would have faded back to the realm she came from, but she remained and looked between the loups-garous as if personally regarding each. Then, her eyes turned to him, and he froze in fear.

  She knew what he had done and what beast he harbored. There was no way she couldn’t have known. Wearing nothing but the blood of those he had slain was enough to condemn him.

  Logan hadn’t known the kind of monster he had become. He had never known what he was capable of and what he had been holding back all this time.

  He knew now that those walls he had put up should never have been torn down. Taking the potion was a mistake. Katey had seen the darkest part of him that he never wanted anyone to see. Even his pack had witnessed the terrible beast, but they didn’t run or try to kill him. They reassured him while he grieved for his sins.

  Would the spirit be so forgiving? If he let loose once, who was to say that it wouldn’t happen again? If this was the spirit he thought it was – the spirit of Tanatia – then she would know the future and know if Logan would kill again.

  It would have been easier if she left him dead where he lay, but she chose to resurrect him. Why? If she could see the monster he gave refuge to, why did she let him live?

  Katey knelt in front of him, the spirit looming over them both. Logan didn’t know who to look at, who he should address if he could gather the bravery to speak. What could he possibly say to the spirit that the beast feared?

  She reached out, the two hands descending upon him in tandem until the light touched the crown of his head. He closed his eyes as his body was swept up in a piercing force that entered his skull and diffused throughout his limbs and core. A power as sharp as the tip of a silver blade and as filling as a dense ooze penetrated his soul.

  For the first time in Logan’s life, he felt peace. The threat of the beast was miles away, and all that remained was a wolf he had never known. As if a river had been undammed, a connection finally formed between Logan and this other part of him that was free of rage and hatred.

  The wolf he sensed was just as curious about him as he was of it. The toxic sludge of rivalry had been cleansed from his system, all by a simple touch from the spirit.

  “You have struggled so long against a burden that was never meant to exist,” Katey said, her words sounding like a thousand wind chimes in his ears. “Live now without fear and learn from your wolf, as you should have from the beginning.”

  When he opened his eyes, the light began to wane from the forest. The darkness of declining night closed in around them, and the spirit grew fainter. The princess’s lines blurred until she was gone altogether and all that remained was Katey looking at him with loving eyes.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Katey looked up and down at her reflection in the mirror. It wasn’t how she had pictured her wedding day. She had dreamed of a big white dress and a fistful of roses or baby's breath. A plush, white, cashmere robe was not her ideal attire. After thinking about it for the last few days, she realized it didn’t matter what she wore as long as she was marrying the man she loved.

  And tonight, she was going to do just that.

  It had been three months since the incident in Louisiana. Life had returned to something that resembled normal, but the scars remained. Plans had been made for rehabilitations and truths had emerged that brought her pack back together in such a magical way that Katey couldn’t help but smile at how far they had come.

  Darren had confessed the mysterious experience they had together in the wolf enclosure. Through a heated discussion with Dustin, it was discovered who might have been to blame for the deaths of his wife and young daughter. In his confession, there was an element of healing. Dustin couldn’t have known, and Darren was wise enough to realize that now.

  Katey cried when Darren told her that when he stepped in front of Katey and Logan to face the hunters in the woods, he had done so not as an alpha who was obligated to keep his pack safe. He took the wolfsbane dart to somehow absolve his mistake centuries ago when he couldn’t save his wife and child from the hunters that were searching for Dustin.

  It had taken Logan some time to warm back up to his family, but they rallied around him to assure him that he was still welcome, no matter what happened at the hunter compound. Of course, they kept a closer eye on him to ensure the magic had been completely worked out of his system.

  He made it known that he had eaten human flesh and with the help of Gregory’s mentorship, Logan was on the mend. A good thing, too, since there were a few humans in the audience that waited outside around the gazebo. If he got the craving for a human meal again, they might not have been able to go through with this ceremony so soon. The detoxification of his appetite was a slow process, but not as slow as some others who had spent half their lives eating human flesh.

  He wasn’t the only one that needed time to recover from what happened that night in the forests of Louisiana. Katey still had her own demons to battle after everything the spirit of Tanatia had revealed to her about her intended mate and her own mission to bring balance.

  When Tanatia appeared and revived her pack, Katey was shown flashes of the past and future. She saw the moment Logan murdered his mother, a beautiful woman pleading for her life. She saw a man with pale skin and striking blue eyes, just like Logan’s. A sketchy and elusive vision of a snowy mountain and warriors decaying in the snow. A lone statue of a ruler in a dimmed and cavernous hall.

  She saw their world ruled by both peace and war and the ever-engaging sides of good and evil clashing together in a flurry of power. Nothing was coherent or made sense to Katey now, but she was sure that in time, it would all be clear.

  Most of all, she saw the beast that dwelled within Logan. It was like nothing she could have imagined, yet beyond explanation. A formidable darkness lurked in Logan’s soul and without the help of Tanatia, it would have consumed him. Katey wasn’t able to determine exactly what the darkness was before the spirit placed it within a metaphysical box that could never be opened.

  In the darkness, there was nothing but hate and a lust for destruction that seemed so out of place in Logan. How did such an entity become attached to him and for how long? If it was the darkness that kept him from changing, Katey was grateful to Tanatia for fixing his problem, but the questions weighed even heavier on her mind with each passing day.

  Whatever the darkness was, Logan seemed to have moved on. Somedays, she saw a look of sadness in his eyes, but it passed just as quickly as it came and it showed itself less frequently over the weeks and months since the darkness was hidden away for good.

  Now that the hunter madness had passed, Ben had started to open up to the pack and play a more active role. He taught them self-defense beyond the use of guns, and shortly after Darren had confessed his revelation about his family, Ben revealed the truth about what happened in Vietnam. None of the pack berated him for the crime of killing a fellow loup-garou. War was war in their eyes, and just as Logan couldn’t be held responsible for his actions at the hunter compound, they did not pass judgment on Ben either.

  Though, there was a strain between all of them after that time. Katey might have been the only one who sensed it because of her empathetic abilities, and none of them would admit to it. They were a pack and always would be. One’s unsavory past did not change that.

 
; Dustin was his usual carefree self, but the house was never quiet again. Folksongs were hummed, whistled, and belted out in true Irish fashion whenever the fancy struck him. Katey loved the melodies, and buoyant lyrics and some of the others joined in on the songs they knew. After a while, Katey picked up some of the tunes and hummed along from across the house.

  Forrest and the remaining Devians returned to Crestucky. Families were rehired to their jobs and children were reenlisted in school to pick up where they left off. It wasn’t hard for Katey to catch up on her schoolwork and she even found the time to help Lily with her own. She returned home, but her parents preceded her and arrived home earlier from their impromptu vacation. Lily was grounded until graduation for being out of state with Forrest, but she was allowed this one evening to attend the wedding.

  The rougarous chose to stay away from the town and take up residence elsewhere, but Gregory stuck around to make sure Logan was stable before moving on to catch up with Erik and the rest of his pack.

  Michael and John continued their search for elders and alphas to attend the peace conferences. Her grandfather routinely stopped by to deliver good news about their growing attendance number and that plans were in motion for the gathering to take place later in the year.

  Three months had passed, which meant Katey had undergone three of her monthly changes. Each one was just as difficult as the last and the only time her shift experience was a little less agonizing was when she brought the change on at will. Each change, she could feel her control over her loup-garou form strengthen and it was only a matter of time before she would have as much control as Darren or Dustin.

  Lily stepped up behind her, bringing her back to the present. Her best friend was dressed in a lovely, pink, single-strap gown that draped to the floor. Her bright blonde hair was piled high on her head and dotted with flowers.

  It might have been a little too formal for this backyard wedding. Katey had tried to make it clear to Lily that the ceremony was not so traditional, but her friend was hell-bent on looking like a true bridesmaid.

  “You look beautiful!” she squealed.

  Katey looked from her unpainted nails to her loose hair that hung over her shoulders and to her face that was free of any type of makeup. Under the robe, Katey was as naked as a newborn. She would have hardly called the ensemble beautiful, but it was practical.

  “You’re just saying that,” she replied, giving Lily a look of feigned annoyance.

  Lily hugged around Katey’s shoulders. “Every bride needs to hear they’re beautiful on their wedding day. And I hope you’ll say the same on mine.”

  Katey slipped a hand around her friend’s waist and squeezed. “When you get married, you’ll be in a big white dress and wearing bright red lipstick. You’ll actually look like a bride. I look like a girl who stayed the night somewhere and forgot a change of clothes.”

  The two girls giggled, but their laughter was cut short by a sharp rap on the door.

  “Come in,” Katey called.

  Darren stepped through and took in the sight of the two girls standing in front of her dresser mirror. He smiled, his brown eyes twinkling. It was good to see him happy again, and Katey hoped nothing in the world would steal that joy. The hunter incident had taken a lot out of her alpha and he slept for days after they returned home.

  “You both look beautiful,” he said as he stepped inside and closed the door. Dressed in a full tuxedo and long tie, he was the picture of handsomeness. A white carnation was pinned to his lapel and stood out against the black material of his jacket.

  Lily curtsied. “Thank you,” she said so sweetly that Katey thought she might get diabetes just by standing next to her.

  Katey rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she grumbled.

  Darren chuckled, the deep sound vibrating in her chest to combat the butterflies in her stomach. “Can we have a moment, Lily?”

  “Totally, Mr. Dubose,” she replied and slipped out of the bedroom after giving Katey one last thumbs-up and a big grin.

  Darren walked toward Katey as she turned back to the mirror and took a deep breath. “Nervous?” he asked.

  Katey blew out her cheeks and nodded. “Just a little.”

  Her alpha moved behind her and placed his hands on her slender but strong shoulders, the same shoulders that had to bear so much responsibility.

  Her wolf had taught her many things in the last few months as they adjusted back into their routines, but the one thing she could never deny again was her place in the pack.

  Katey remembered when she was terrified to face Darren after everything that had happened in Louisiana. She feared she would be exiled from the pack for all the trouble she had caused them. He proved her wrong by accepting her again after she had given him another excuse to give her the boot. Dustin and Ben had been right, and Darren showed Katey she was part of the strongest unit in nature; a wolf pack. Nothing could tear them apart.

  “You’re going to do just fine,” he assured.

  Katey looked at him through the mirror. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? We can always get Michael to give me away.”

  Darren shook his head. “No. It’ll be my honor to give you away.” He gave her shoulders a squeeze. “I know you wish your father were here, though.”

  Her father and mother were still two mysterious figures to Katey. Each night at the dinner table, they would regale her with stories about Adam from the days they knew him. Whenever Michael visited, she would spend hours listening to him talk about Jane and all the adventures they had together.

  For all the stories and anecdotes, Katey didn’t feel like she knew them. Their essence, their personalities, fears, and aspirations, they were all merely shadowy shapes in the darkness of her past. Stories could tell a lot about a person, but not about their inner character.

  Perhaps she would never fully know her parents, but the dreams still came to her some nights, and she treasured them even more now that she had names to pair with the faces.

  Katey felt her throat constrict. “I always knew he wouldn’t be. My mom neither.” She took another stuttered breath. “But they’re here in spirit, right?”

  The question might have been a tricky one for a man who always believed in science to explain everything from the reason the sun came up every morning to the reason they changed into a wolf. After witnessing the miracle of the princess Tanatia appearing in Louisiana, Darren began to concede that some things could never be explained.

  He smiled and nodded back at her. “I’m sure they are.”

  From outside, she could hear the slow beating of the drums and knew the time had come. Darren moved to the side and offered his arm to her.

  Fighting back the wave of nervous nausea, Katey looped her elbow in his, and they slowly made their way out of the house. With every step, her excitement doubled. Her unsteady free hand constantly adjusted her robe, even though it covered everything from her chest to her knees and tied together with a sash that cinched her waist.

  Darren opened the sliding glass down into the flourishing garden. The cold winter had given way to balmy spring weather and the property around the house teemed with wildflowers and thick, rich grass.

  Torches had been set up along the path Katey and Darren would walk to illuminate the diminishing light of day. To either side stood loups-garous and humans who knew of their kind. The drummers stood to either side of the gazebo, their tempo quickening at the sight of Katey and mimicking the rhythm of her racing heart. Dustin and Lily stood on either side of the gazebo stairs, playing their parts as the best man and maid of honor.

  When Katey stepped out, all eyes turned to her, and her stomach rolled in on itself under the pressure of being the center of attention.

  Ahead, Katey saw Logan standing at the foot of the gazebo stairs. He wore a matching robe, but instead of white, the soft fabric was as black as his hair and the night sky above. The glow of the fire danced across his face and the skin of his broad chest that the robe did not conceal.
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  He smiled, the corners of his serene blue eyes crinkling. And just like that, Katey forgot that anyone else was there. They were alone in the crowd, and the quick beating of the drums faded away.

  She and Darren walked forward at a slow pace, and by the time she was facing Logan, she forgot why she had been so nervous, to begin with. None of the guests mattered though she was glad to see the familiar faces of beloved friends. The fact that she wasn’t wearing an expensive dress didn’t matter. All that mattered was that moment when Darren handed her to Logan, and they ascended the stairs to stand under the gazebo.

  John, who had traveled across the country to officiate the ceremony, waited just inside the gazebo. He smiled to both of them and gave the cue for the drummers to stop.

  Logan looked upon her, his eyes soft and abounding with love. It hadn’t been so long since they met, and she first fell in love with the loup-garou she held hands with, but he still had the power to make her dizzy and ridiculously happy.

  John began the opening to the ceremony, but Katey didn’t hear a word. Her mind played back every crucial moment that led to this day. There were many chances for them to turn back, to deny their love and carry on with their lives. There were times when they could have given up on one another. All those times that Logan had been insanely jealous, all those times Katey had been difficult and stubborn, all the times they shouted at one another and disagreed. Every single bump in the road and every single celebration had prepared them for this day and Katey wouldn’t have changed a thing, even if it meant the road would have been easier for them in the end.

  Those struggles and triumphs made their love stronger, and Katey knew she could look forward to the next thousand years together and the eternity that awaited them beyond.

  “Now, the husband will speak his vows to his intended mate.”

  Katey glanced to John and back to Logan and waited with bated breath.