I pack up the rest of my things and head out for the night. I intend on going home but end up stopping by Drake’s since it’s on the way. When I pull into his drive, the barn door is open. I see Celeste out in the field on her horse. I find Drake in the barn, cleaning out the horse’s stall.
“Hey, man. What brought you by?” he asks.
“I got a job close by. You were along the way, so I figured I’d stop and see how things are going.”
He snorts. “I figured you wouldn’t go out of your way to stop by,” he jokes.
I wave him off.
“What’s new? Where’s this job?”
“Out on Madison Lane. It’s that old farmhouse up on the hill.”
“Oh, right. That’s a nice piece of property. I’m glad someone finally bought it.”
I nod. “It’s a woman from Ohio. She just moved here to open it as a bed-and-breakfast.”
“Nice.”
I nod, refusing to say anything, but he must read it all over my face.
He smiles wide. “You like this woman. It’s not a question. It’s a statement. I wonder if she reads me this well. Fuck, I hope not.
I laugh and shake my head. Running my hand over my face, I attempt to wipe away the anxiety. “Why would you say something like that?”
He tosses the pitchfork down and comes to stand in front of me. He leans against the wall and crosses his arms over his chest. “Well, you stopped by here out of the blue. That makes me wonder if you’re not looking for some advice. Then you just volunteer information about this new woman in town. I know I’m not the smartest guy, but I can put two and two together.” He grins. “So, what’s she look like?”
I let out a long breath. “She’s tall and thin—got legs for days. She has long, dark hair and these green eyes that remind of fresh grass in the springtime.” Already, I feel myself dazing off as I describe her.
He whistles at her description.
“But she’s got a five-year-old son.”
“So? You like kids.”
I snort. “I get along with kids. That’s different than liking them.”
He waves his hand through the air, dismissing my last statement. “I don’t know who’s chain you’re trying to pull, but I know you. You like kids.” He laughs. “Hell, knowing you, you probably already got something up your sleeve to do for him. Let me guess…” He puts his finger on his chin. “Swing set?”
I just look at him, giving him the death glare.
“No, tree house!”
My head lulls to the side. “Fuck off. Just because I like kids doesn’t mean I want to get mixed up with one. This isn’t just some random woman, Drake. She’s a woman with complications. I don’t want to butt my way into her life and screw things up for her kid, you know?”
He nods. “Kids do complicate things, but look how it turned out for Colton and Brennan. That worked out great.”
I snort. “Yeah, but Colton didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, and all women love kids. That’s far off from me. I’ve never wanted that life.”
He rolls his eyes. “I think you need to look deep inside yourself. Maybe you don’t know yourself as well as you think, Clay.”
Is he right? Is there something beneath the surface of my consciousness that even I don’t know about?
7
Autumn
Walking away from him today seemed strange. I couldn’t help but feel this pull between us. Every time I’d look over at him, I’d find him watching me. His eyes would darken and become hooded. His jaw would flex, and his Adam’s apple would bob in his throat. His entire body would harden like he was holding something back. I know, based on the look on his face, that he’s attracted to me. And if I was a normal woman with a normal life, I would make a move on him—even it wouldn't have led to anything serous. But I’m not a normal woman. I’m a broken woman that’s running from her abusive husband. I’m a woman who has a five-year-old little boy to think about. My life is complicated, and it wouldn’t be fair to bring someone else into it.
Even though I know I can never let myself get close to him, I want to picture a normal life for myself. I can see us working together and getting close on the farm. I can see an innocent love bloom from friendship and trust. I can see him nervously asking me on a date. I can see the way my hands would shake when he’d pull me against his firm chest on the dance floor. I can feel the moment his lips meet mine. From there, we’d have all the usual firsts a couple has. First time in bed, marriage, kids, anniversaries…it all seems so perfect. Too perfect. My life is anything but and probably won’t be anything special for a while.
I pull into the daycare and pick Bryce up before heading to the diner for dinner. We sit in our usual booth, and he orders spaghetti while I get a burger. We talk about what all he did at daycare, and he even asks me how the house is coming along. This boy is only five and already, he’s better at conversation than most full-grown men. When we finish up, we pay our ticket and head for the van. We each load up and I drive us through town toward the motel we’re staying in. As I’m passing by the bar, I notice Clay’s truck. I slow down, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
He climbs out of the truck, looking all nice and cleaned up in a fresh pair of jeans, a fitted navy blue T-shirt, his boots, and a baseball cap. I can’t help but notice the way his biceps bulge in the tight sleeves of his shirt. He walks over to a red car, directly to the driver’s side door. It opens and a hand lands in his—a woman’s hand. He helps her out, and suddenly, my lungs freeze. It’s the waitress from the diner, the one that kept staring at me. No wonder she was so curious about me. I’m sure he told her about working with me on the bed-and-breakfast.
He told me he wasn’t married, but he never mentioned being with anyone either. The way she wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him close tells me that this isn’t a first date. They’re close. I’m not sure why, but jealously hits me right in the gut. It’s stupid of me to even feel this way. I barely know this guy, and other than catching him checking me out, he’s not vocalized that he even likes me.
I shake my head at myself and push down on the gas pedal a little harder. It only takes minutes before we’re back to the motel, and Bryce immediately goes to take a bath. With him in the bathroom where he can’t hear me, I sit down and call my lawyer. She’s the only person who knows where I am.
“Lidia Howell,” she answers.
“Hi, Lidia. It’s Autumn.”
“Hey! How you doing?” she asks, sounding relieved to hear from me.
I nod. “Really well. Have you heard anything from Glenn?”
She laughs. “Oh yeah. He threatened to sue me if I didn’t tell him where you are. I politely explained that the law doesn’t work that way.”
I shake my head. I can only imagine the things he’s said to her. “I’m so sorry if he’s causing you problems.” I hang my head out of embarrassment. Most of the people in my life back home have no idea how Glenn really is. In public, he’s the nicest, sweetest guy around. Our marriage looks too good to be true. Only a few close friends had their suspicions, and that was only because I couldn’t always hide the bruises he left. Lidia will be the first one, besides me, to see his rage—to see the real him.
“Don’t worry about it, Autumn. It’s just part of the job. I threatened to call the police and he left and hasn’t been back since.”
“Do you have any idea if he signed the papers or not?”
“He did not. In fact, he ripped them up right in front of me and threw them in the air. Poor Abby had to pick up all the shredded paper from the waiting area.”
My entire body is flooded with embarrassment. “God, I’m so sorry,” I breathe out.
“The important part is that you and your boy are safe. I can handle him.”
“So what now?” I ask, feeling as if this is never going to end. I mean, I can keep having papers mailed to him, but that doesn’t mean he’ll sign them.
“I’m having Abby mail him a set of papers t
his afternoon. I wanted to give him time to settle down before I brought it up again. I’ll give him a week and if we still haven’t heard anything back, I’ll have the papers delivered by a police officer. We just have to take this one step at a time.”
“Okay,” I nod.
“So, how’s country life?”
I smile. “Great. We’ve been working on the-bed-and-breakfast. It’s still going to need a lot of work, but I’m happy to have finally gotten started on it.”
“And Bryce? How’s he liking it?”
“He’s having a great time. He’s started a local daycare until school starts this fall. I couldn’t exactly bring him into a construction zone, but he really likes the daycare. He’s met a few kids he’s going to be going to school with, and he’s done nothing but talk about his new friends.”
“That’s great. I’m happy to hear that you two are finally getting the life you deserve. You just worry about getting up on your feet and I’ll worry about everything back here. Deal?”
I smile with her words. “Deal.”
I drop Bryce off at daycare bright and early the next morning. I pick up two coffees and a dozen donuts and take them back to the house. When I pull into the drive, I find Clay’s truck already there. I smile to myself, excited to get to see him again today, but then quickly remind myself that I need to cool it. He’s with someone.
I walk in and find him with a paint brush in hand. He’s up on a ladder, painting along the top trim. His arm is raised above his head and his shirt is pulled up slightly, just enough that I can see his lower back. He has two little dimples on either side of his spine—Something I’ve always found sexy. He looks over his shoulder with a casual smile. “Morning.”
At the sound of his voice, I jump, hoping he didn’t notice me checking him out. My face flushes. “I brought breakfast.” I hold up the box of donuts a little higher.
He starts down the ladder. “Cool, thanks.” He reaches out and takes the box.
He sets it down on a makeshift table he has set up. It’s nothing other than a couple of sawhorses with a board placed over the top. He opens the box and checks out the selection. “Which is your favorite?”
I move to his side and set down the coffee. “Cinnamon sugar swirl,” I answer. “What’s yours?” I take a sip of coffee and hand him the other cup. His hand gently brushes against mine for only a second, but it’s enough to set my body ablaze. Our eyes quickly connect. I see a glimmer in his eyes that’s probably reflected in my own.
“I’m a glazed man,” he answers, picking up a glazed donut and taking a bite. I’ve never in my life seen something so erotic, and he didn’t do anything but take a bite out of deep-fried dough.
A small whimper escapes my mouth when I see him lick the glaze from his sexy lips. His eyes jump to mine.
“I’m starving,” I lie, needing an excuse to cover my whimper. I quickly grab a donut and take a bite, then let out an “mmmm” sound that sounds more like a moan than I want it to. At that sound, his jaw flexes and his blue eyes darken. There’s a charge between us. I can feel it bouncing between us like electricity, making every one of my hairs stand on end. His body shifts toward mine slightly. Automatically, mine does the same. The pull between us is getting stronger. I don’t know how I’ll resist it…but I have to. Clay is a good guy and doesn’t deserve to be brought into my mess.
I clear my throat and turn to look at the wall he was painting, shattering the moment between us. “Lo—looks like you’ve got a lot done,” I stutter and hope he doesn’t notice.
He nods and takes another bite like he suddenly remembered it was in his hand. “Yeah, I’ve been here a while. Didn’t get much sleep with the storm last night.”
“There was a storm?” I ask, completely unaware. Apparently, all the work yesterday wiped me out. I don’t think I moved at all once my head hit the pillow.
He laughs. “Yeah, it probably wasn’t that bad in town, but living on the top of a mountain in a little cabin, you hear everything and feel every shift of the wind.”
My eyes double in size just from imagining it. “That must be scary.” I stick the last bit of my donut in my mouth and wipe my hands on my shorts—not very ladylike I guess.
He notices because his eyes fall to my hands and then the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile. “It’s not bad…usually.”
I pick up my coffee and take a sip, needing a distraction. I begin walking around the room, wanting to put space between us. Even with him a good five feet away, he still makes my body buzz. “What’s the plan for today?”
“Well,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest and looking around the room. “I just finished the second coat of paint in here, so if you want, you can start shining up the wood on the fireplace, and I can start painting in the entry way. If we get the painting done completely, we’ll be able to start on the floors tomorrow, but the paint needs to dry completely before we start sanding the floors.” I can tell by the way his eyes won’t meet mine that he’s trying to avoid me as well. It’s clear that we can’t avoid each other completely, but we can put as much space between us as possible and try not to look one another in the eye. It seems futile, but it’s worth a shot, especially if it keeps this buzzing in my body away.
“Sounds good. Mind if I put on some music?”
He nods as he turns and starts taking some painting supplies into the entry way, leaving me alone in the living room. When he’s gone, I let out a deep breath. Finally, I feel like I can breathe again. I don’t know what it is about him that puts me on edge like this. I’ve never had my body betray me so badly before, not even when I was young, and Glenn and I were getting together.
Feeling almost defeated, I grab the oil and the rag. Applying a little oil to the cloth, I rub it over the wooden mantle. The wood goes from dark and dull to vibrant and shiny. There are reds, yellows, and a slight orangish color where the other two colors meet. This is mind-numbing work. Even though I am excited about finding the hidden beauty, it gives me plenty of time to think about Clay and all the bad things that could happen if I allowed myself to get close to him.
Bryce could get hurt if he grows attached and leaves. What if Glenn ends up finding me? I know Clay will get into the middle of our mess. This is supposed to be my new start. Falling in love with another guy wasn’t part of the plan, and it would only hold me back. If I fall in love, he could break my heart. I mean, how far could it even go? He already told me marriage isn’t in the cards for him, not that I’m looking to get married when I’m still technically married.
But, ugh, he’s so sexy. He works hard, and I know he would be a good provider, not that I need providing for—but it would be nice to have things like security, understanding, trust, friendship, and love for once. Real love, not what Glenn and I thought we had.
I’m completely lost in my own thoughts. I just keep applying layer after layer and wipe until my arm is sore. But the mantel is intricate with all its carvings of leaves, swirls, and flowers—I completely lose track of time between my work and my thoughts. I nearly jump when Clay comes into the room.
“How about a lunch break?”
“Yeah, okay.” I put the oil and rag down.
“Wow, that shined up really good.” He walks over and runs the tips of his fingers across the surface. I feel my face heat up when I imagine him running those fingers over me in the same soft way. He turns and looks at me, and I feel like I’ve been caught with my hand in the cookie jar.
I smile and nod, hoping he doesn’t pick up on my sudden awkwardness. My breathing picks up again, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
“Come on, let’s go out and get some air.”
Or maybe he did notice…
8
Clay
I take a seat on the front porch step, and the warm breeze blows against my sweat covered skin that’s covered in a sheen of sweat. Being stuck inside a house with no air conditioning and half the windows painted shut in the middle of summer is total shit. I�
�m not a pussy who needs constant air conditioning, but this is a little ridiculous. Autumn takes a seat next to me and the breeze blows her scent my way. I can only imagine what I smell like—probably like a pig. But her, she smells like freshly baked sugar cookies, something sweet with just a touch of spice. It nearly makes my mouth water.
I reach into the cooler and pull us both out a sandwich. I set the bag of baby carrots between us. “I need a little crunch with my sandwich.” I shrug.
“Much healthier than chips,” she says grabbing one and popping it into her mouth with a loud crunch. “Wow, that’s really good. Are these organic?” she asks, pointing to her lips as as they turn up in a breathtaking smile.
I nod. “Yeah, I grow them in my garden.” I grab one and pop it into my mouth with a loud pop.
Her mouth drops open. “Seriously? I’ve always wanted a garden. Maybe when this place gets up and running, you can give me some pointers.”
I nod. “There’s really nothing to it. You’ve kept a child alive this long, I think you’ll do fine with a garden,” I joke.
She giggles and wipes the sweat from her brow. Her loose pink tank top is clinging to her sweaty chest, making her tits even more prominent. I try not to stare, but damn, I fail miserably.
“What else do you grow in your garden?” she asks, looking out over the yard.
“Potatoes, green beans, cabbage, cucumbers, tomatoes, strawberries, and watermelon,” I answer.
She eats her sandwich, still refusing to make eye contact. “That’s what I want to do. I don’t know why, but I have this urge to be completely self-sustaining. I don’t want to have to go into town for little things.”
“You’d love my place then. I have solar panels and a water filtration system. I live completely off the grid.”
Her eyes double in size. “That’s amazing. You need to take me there sometime, give me some ideas.”
Baby Secret (Slade Brothers Book 3) Page 5
