by Sierra Rose
Emotional Turmoil
Part 3
By
Sierra Rose
Copyright © 2016 by Sierra Rose
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in, or introduced into a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
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Chapter 1
Bella James blinked back tears. This was the moment she’d longed for, the moment she’d feared for the last six years of her life. Since the moment she decided to run, unplanned pregnancy in tow, from Harvey Carlson’s posh Arizona compound to her sister’s apartment in Tulsa. She’d hidden the pregnancy from him, had never contacted the man she loved with all her heart—only to protect their twins from his wealthy and powerful mother, the same woman she’d heard vow to take away any child Bella might bear for Harvey. She had given up the love of her life to keep her children safe, had yearned for him but never wavered in her determination to keep her babies with her.
The twins, Caden and Corinne, were in kindergarten now. Bella herself was no longer a housemaid but a marketing executive with the education and skill to command a high salary and afford a full-time nanny to help with the twins. But inside, she was still that twenty-two-year old girl who’d overheard her boyfriend and his mom discussing how he wasn’t serious about her and even if he were, they could easily get custody of a baby if she had one.
In that moment, Bella’s joy at discovering she was pregnant had been shattered along with her heart. She had left him, had started a new life and done her best for their children. When he came back into her life unexpectedly, taking over the company where she worked, Bella had tried to ignore the attraction she still felt for him, but it was irresistible. He was still the man of her heart, and there was no denying it. She’d sworn it was a fling, an old itch even. And she’d been scrupulous about making sure he didn’t know she had children. Until now.
Here she sat at Corinne’s dance recital, her boss and lover beside her. He’d crept into the audience, sat down and watched. She knew, knew in her bones that he recognized that tiny blonde drama queen as his own. While the other girls had timidly attempted the footwork, glancing at each other for reassurance or to copy a step, Corinne had flung her arms wide and danced—mostly the routine with her own sassy flourish, giving herself up to the music. Tears had pricked Bella’s eyes as she watched her daughter with pride. But when a man touched her arm, when it was Harvey, she’d felt her heart plummet about thirty stories onto concrete and crash. She felt ill. She wanted to scream, no, and grab her children in her arms and drive away, never see him again. Her first instinct was to flee, just as it had been six years before when she was pregnant and alone. Her only thought was for her children, for keeping them with her.
She tried to play dumb, to mention that she didn’t realize he had time for amateur ballet shows. “I make time when it’s for my family,” he’d replied, his voice velvety but with an iron threat behind it. He knew. Of course, he fucking knew. How could he not? The towheaded twins had gorgeous, angelic faces that were so much like his own. Harvey was handsome, perhaps even more so now than he had been at twenty-eight as a hotshot CEO.
“You know?” she said, butterflies beating against her stomach.
“You were pregnant when you left?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Complicated? Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve provided for my children. You would’ve never had to struggle.”
“I don’t struggle.”
“Now. But how about when you were finishing up your college classes? And who watched them?”
“My sister. And I took excellent care of the children. You don’t have to be rich to raise children and give them lots of love and everything they need.”
His gaze was intense. “How could you?”
“This is not the place!” she said, hushing him.
“I’m a dad? I’ve been a dad all these years?”
“Yes.”
“You left me out of the loop. I’ve missed everything. I never even got to hold my babies in my arms. Do you have any idea how hurt I am? I’m telling my kids that I’m their father. They have every right to know the truth!”
“Here? Are you crazy? Please don’t make a scene. Please don’t tell them. Not tonight.”
“They’re mine, Bella. Not that you ever saw fit to tell me that I have two children walking around in the world. What did you tell them about their father?”
“I—this isn’t the time or the place, Harvey. I’m begging you. Don’t ruin Corinne’s first ballet recital with a bunch of drama that the twins can’t possibly understand. This is a problem between you and me. Just let me give her the flowers and take some pictures and go home.”
“You think you can go on like nothing happened? Just pretend I don’t exist for your convenience?”
“Of course, not. I just don’t want to play Jerry Springer with you at the dance studio on a school night.”
“A school night, as in, my children are in school. I never even knew I had them and now they need to go home and be put to bed—” He shook his head in disbelief.
“Bath time first,” she corrected, “I’ll talk to you about this tomorrow and figure out how to handle it. I don’t think walking up to a couple of five-year-olds as a total stranger and going, ‘Hi, I’m your dad,’ is the best way to go about it,” her voice was desperate, pleading, but she didn’t care. She’d do anything on earth to get to walk out of this building with both her kids, load them in the van and go home, have a normal night and think about all this hell tomorrow. Because all hell was about to break loose. She could feel the fear riding in her gut. She had to get the kids out of there. How would she explain a huge fight breaking out in the audience?
He was a good guy, he just had a great deal of influence and she had pissed him off. It wasn’t smart to hang around for him to process this information and formulate a reaction. Because chances are, it would be explosive. So she’d talk to him tomorrow when they’d both had a chance to cool down and think about it. When she wasn’t so eager to flee from a public place and he was, hopefully, less determined to lay claim to his children.
“Here, before we do anything else, let me introduce you to Madame Giselle, Corinne’s dance instructor. We really must tell her how wonderful the recital was. She’s put a lot of work in on it,” Bella pulled on his arm, and he allowed her to steer him to the side of an artistically dressed older woman with a voluminous floral scarf trailing from her hair.
“Ah, Madame, the show was brilliant!” Bella said, giving her a double air kiss and introducing Harvey. “This is my good friend, and keen patron of the arts, Harvey Carlson. Harvey, this is the legendary Madame Giselle, headmistress of this dance school.”
“Please, please, ‘L’ecole des danseuses!’ But now you must allow me to show you; you mus
t discover the magnificent history of this place…” The woman corrected in poorly accented French, seizing Harvey’s arm and leading him—as Bella had known she would—toward the wall where photos of her own dance triumphs and all the past recitals were displayed. That was good for fifteen minutes at least, ten if he were outright rude. And he was never rude. She sighed, hustled backstage and thrust a bouquet into Corinne’s hands, kissing her and whipping out her phone to take pictures. She wrested the tablet away from Caden and rushed them both toward the van
She was scared, there was no getting around it. She was scared and wanted her kids out of this damn parking lot. He wouldn’t come beat on the door and wake them. He wasn’t uncivilized. A quick escape would buy her time until tomorrow. Not that she’d sleep, of course, because her entire world was crumbling, but she’d breathe easier with her babies in their own beds, their world unchanged for the moment.
With both kids in their boosters and Caden switching between demanding the tablet back so he could finish a level on his game and complaining that his sister’s ‘stupid flowers’ were in his face, she drove back home. Her hands were shaking. She was sweating. Her smile was too bright, her voice too chipper as she shepherded her twins inside to put them in a bath, and then pajamas. And that’s when she saw a man in the shadows sitting on her porch. She peered closer. It wasn’t Harvey, just Max. She let out a sigh of relief.
Chapter 2
Bella came home to Max waiting for her on her porch. He had a big smile on his face the second her gaze connected with his.
“You’re a sight for sore eyes.”
“Hey, Max,” she said.
“I just got here a few minutes ago.”
Maria looked at her. “I’m going to take the kids inside and start their baths.”
“I’ll be right in,” Bella said.
“I thought you’d be here by now,” Max said. “Where were you?”
“It’s a long story.”
“You’re mad at me. I can tell by the look on your face.”
“It’s not you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the ballet, but I was so busy at work. And I’m not really good with kids. If you give me another chance, I’ll make it up to you, and…Carrie…and Kyle.”
How could he not know their names by now? Granted he never ever spent time with them, but he should know their names! If she was important to him, he’d know her kids names.
She shook her head. “I have a lot of my mind. It’s all so overwhelming. I feel like I’m sinking.”
“What’s wrong? Is it us? Because I’ll try to do better.”
“No, it’s not us. I had a run-in with the father of the twins. He’s not too happy with me right now to say the least.”
He let out a long breath. “Is this ex bullshit? Because I really don’t want to hear about your ex. Or your custody battles.”
“I’ve never told you about him once.”
“It’s drama I don’t want to deal with after the kind of day I’ve just had. Just get it straightened out, and please don’t fill me in on all the details.”
“Listen, I could sure use a shoulder to lean on.”
“Listen, hon. I want to date you. But I don’t want to be involved in the drama. I don’t do drama. You promised me no drama when we first started dating. And I usually don’t do kids. But I made an exception for you. Because I want to settle down and have my own family, you know, with kids you and I make.”
“I see.”
“You mean everything to me, and I see a future for us. I think you’d make a great corporate wife. Because you’ve already worked in the field, you know the stakes. If I have to work late, you’d understand because you’ve been there yourself.”
Bella nodded. “You wouldn’t want me to work?”
“No, because I make enough money for the both of us.”
“But I love my job. I worked so hard to get here. I don’t just want to give it up.”
“You can’t be a mom and have a fulltime job.”
“What? I do it now.”
“I’m talking about with our kids, the ones we’re going to have in the future.”
“You want me to be a stay at home mom?”
“You’ve been so tired and stressed lately. I thought you’d jump on the opportunity.”
“Working doesn’t make you a bad mom,” Bella said.
“And staying home doesn’t make you lazy. I’ll have plenty to keep you busy. Especially when I get my promotion as vice president. Your day will be filled. I promise. There’s charity luncheons, volunteer work and…well, I know how much you like to stay busy. And lucky for us, the twins are old enough to go to boarding school.”
“You can’t be serious?”
“There are so many benefits for the kids. Matter of fact, I met my best friend at boarding school. We’ll talk about it more later. Because I’ve got to run. I have to work early. I just wanted to apologize in person.”
“Thanks for stopping by.”
He kissed her. “I love you. Goodnight.”
She didn’t say it back, and he walked to his sports car. As she watched him drive away, she knew he wasn’t the one for her. She didn’t know why she hadn’t seen it sooner. He didn’t like kids. He wanted to get rid of hers as fast as he could. Dump them off at boarding school? Not a chance in hell! The thought infuriated her. He wouldn’t be the dad her kids needed. And he would never love them as his own. She thought he had made that quite clear. He only cared about starting a family…a new family. Would he put his own kids in boarding school as well? Or was it only hers? So he could have her undivided attention.
She should’ve told him off right there and then, but she was already too emotionally exhausted. She couldn’t take on another battle at this point. Bella knew she lost him. Not that she cared. He wasn’t right for her, and she’d never really felt that spark between them anyway. She wondered if she lost Harvey too.
Just as she went to open her door, her neighbor came over.
“Bella, I’m sorry to eavesdrop, but I heard everything that little weasel said. Why are you still with him? Kick his sorry ass to the curb!”
“I plan on it. I just don’t have the energy to fight with him.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Harvey knows about the twins.”
She gasped. “Oh my gosh!”
“He dropped by the house. I should’ve know it was going to happen sooner or later when we were involved.”
“You told me you were going to tell him, as soon as you got your new job. So there wouldn’t be any drama at the office.”
“He beat me to the punch. Being at work is going to be like walking on egg shells. And the tension is going to be thick as a knife.”
“He just found out. I’m sure he’ll calm down some.”
“About this? Not anytime soon. And I don’t even know where I stand with him. Maybe I was naïve to jump back into his bed. What did I think? That I was going to have this wonderful future with him? That we could both work and raise our children and have this fantastic life? I was an idiot. Maybe I should’ve ran the second I saw him like my sister suggested.”
“No, this could be a good thing.”
“Good? What’s so good about it?”
“The children can have their father in their lives now.”
“But at what cost?” she wept.
“Harvey is a sensible man. He will see reason once he calms down and share custody with you. He’s not going to take away the most important person in the kids’ lives.”
“Don’t be so sure. His mother is a monster and she can convince him to do anything.”
“And Harvey is his own person. Just let him calm down and lick his wounds. I assure you that he will see reason and come up with a compromise.”
“If we could come to some kind of arrangement and be cordial to each other, then this could work. I want Harvey in the kids’ lives. I really do. And I’m sure we’ll figure something out in time. But
… I’m afraid I lost him forever. I just keep thinking that if he loves me, he’ll learn to forgive me.”
“He could in time. Just give him some space right now. That’s all you can do. He has a lot of feelings and emotions he has to sift through.”
“You’re right. I’m going to go to bed. If I can even sleep with everything weighing so heavily on my mind. But I’m beat. I’ve had a rough day. I’m sure a million times rougher than Max’s.”
“Max is a rich prick. He just wants a trophy wife. Drop him like a hot potato. Goodnight.”
Bella let out a weak chuckle as she walked inside. “Goodnight.”
After months of work at getting the twins to sleep in their own room without coming in ‘to visit’ three times a night and waking her, tonight she tucked them into her big bed on either side of her. She wasn’t going to sleep anyway, so it didn’t matter if she took a sharp kick to the ribcage or an arm flung across her throat in the night—both her babies were acrobatic sleepers, thrashing and flailing every night.
She kissed Caden’s curls as he slept and a tear rolled down her nose.
“I love you so much, baby. I’d do anything for you. You’re my sweet angel.”
She turned away before the teardrop could land on his sleeping cheek. She swiped away the tears, but they kept coming.
I can’t lose my kids.
They were her whole life. She’d been a motel maid, and now she was a successful executive, and it was because she wanted a better life for her children, because she knew what it was to grow up without everything she needed—she’d worn too-small shoes and shivered because she’d outgrown her coat from Shop with a Cop two years before. She’d eaten ramen twice a day, taken cracker packets from the table at a diner when she went in to use their bathroom. Her kids weren’t going to scrape and freeze, dammit. And there were not, with God as her witness, going to grow up without her. If he wanted to take them away, he was going to have a fight on his hands like nothing he’d ever seen. She’d hire the best lawyer around. But she hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
