by Sierra Rose
She pushed her hips back against his face, wanting more and deeper, but he withdrew his tongue. One big hand held her down while he parted her folds and pushed three long fingers inside her. She screamed at the invasion, at the erotic shock of his fingers penetrating her.
Bella rode against his fingers as he pushed them high inside her, his rough fingertips grazing that spot that made her see stars. She heard herself beg, heard herself plead with him to give her release, and he pulled out of her, his fingers wet against her thigh as he withdrew them from her clinging folds. Frustrated, she moaned in dismay.
Harvey seized her legs and flipped her over on her back. Pressing her knees back to her chest, leaving her open and exposed to him, he drove his cock into her with one hard thrust. Breathless, she cried out as best she could as he pounded into her with such force, such punishing power that it was a pleasure with an edge of pain. She was quivering with want, with dark desire as he held her down. She nodded her head when he met her eyes, saying ‘yes, please, now’ again and again. He released her, drawing back, letting her straighten her legs, and he was no longer within her. She felt bereft, unfinished, confused. She reached up for him, her breathless face asking him why.
He gathered her in his arms, kissing her hair then. She wept into his chest, his hand in her tangled hair, “I’m sorry,” she said again and again.
“I know. I got carried away. I shouldn’t have been rough with you. I don’t want to hurt you, Bella.”
She reached for his shaft, taking it in her hand so hard and thick. He was still ready for her, and she wanted him more than she could say, “Please, Harvey. I need you. I need to feel close to you now, to know that whatever I’ve done wrong, I haven’t lost you completely. Show me, please,” she said.
Harvey’s gaze when it met hers was sad, confused, not at all the self-assured playboy billionaire she’d first met. Like her, he probably didn’t know what to feel right now. But she knew for a fact it would be better together. He kissed her, tentatively this time, without the punishing force, without the raw urgency he’d shown her before. His need was still powerful, but she felt the emotion in this kiss, the brokenness, and tenderness, the sorrow.
She wrapped her arms around him, and he lay beside her on the bed, kissing her. He kissed her until she wept from the intensity until her whole body shook with longing and regret. Harvey swept his tongue into her mouth again, and as she accepted it, he parted her legs with his hand, moved into her with one smooth thrust of his powerful length. The raw heat and pressure of him within her made her gasp, drawing his tongue deeper into her mouth.
As he rocked into her, slow and sensual, he kept kissing her. It was the strongest union she’d ever felt, their bodies joined, their mouths joined, her fingers in his sandy hair. It felt right and perfect and she shattered around him, screaming into his mouth, swallowing his cries as tremors still shook her body from her own climax.
Harvey cradled her in his arms, and her tears fell on his muscular chest. She couldn’t express the regret and heartbreak she felt, and how she ached even more from the knowledge that she alone had brought this on herself and on the man she loved, on the family that they should have had together. She shook her head over and over, unable to say anything but that she was sorry.
At last, she slept. When Bella woke, she saw him there, awake beside her.
“I’m sorry, Harvey. I did this to us. And I barged in here, wanting reassurance from you when I have no right. I should have waited, found out how involved you want to be, and figure it out from there. But I couldn’t stand the silence. I needed you, needed to see you and touch you and—”
“I needed to see you, too, but I didn’t know how. Not after, after I found out about the twins. Bella, I’m not sure how to have this conversation…you were wrong to keep them from me all this time. I’m not a monster. I’m a father, and I have a right to know my children and be part of their lives.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” she sniffed.
“The level of involvement? You really think I’m going to decide not to be involved? I’m going to be their father. I’m going to be part of every day and every decision. As I should have been from the beginning. And I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I’m not just gonna come and visit, or go with you to the movies or something, or go to soccer games like a convenient uncle. No, Bella. I’m not going to be stuck in a box and taken out on holidays and stay out of your way. You don’t get to be in charge of this since you took the last five years from me. You’ve had control over every aspect of their lives, and it’s time I had a say.”
“I—I understand you’re angry, and you have every right to be—” she began carefully, suddenly very aware that she wasn’t wearing any clothes. This was not a conversation for pillow talk. This was something she needed her power suit and heels on in order to face it.
Bella sprang off the bed and darted into the bathroom. She washed up and tried to smooth her rumpled hair that so plainly said she’d just had sex. Energetic sex. Her face flushed at the thought, and she put on a t-shirt she found hanging on the back of the door. She couldn’t face him without something on, some sort of armor, and a borrowed shirt was better than nothing. She rushed past him and gathered her clothes, hurried back into them for some vestige of propriety, some mature professional appearance to try to negate the fact that she’d been completely and utterly vulnerable when he spoke to her angrily. She strolled back into his bedroom, found him clad in shorts and a tee, his hair smoothed down.
“Clearly we need to discuss this,” she said.
“Yes,” he agreed. “Shall we have a glass of wine and try to be civilized?”
“Please.”
She followed him into the kitchen, and he poured a nice Napa pinot noir for her, which she sipped. Bella waited, remembering her communications training from her marketing degree. In an adversarial situation, show patience, show calm, not desperation. So she sipped, and wished for a ponytail holder to tame her messy sex hair, and watched him over the rim of her glass.
“I want to meet them,” he said.
“Of course,” she said, congratulating herself for agreeing to the first thing he wanted. She was beginning with a positive, with being agreeable. That was good.
“I want to know what you’ve told them about me.”
“I haven’t told them much. They’re just now to the age where they’ve started to ask questions. I told them that all families are different and what’s important is that they are loved and wanted. That their daddy was a good man and we were going to be married, but that he had wanted and loved them very much.”
“Oh, really. How did you kill me off?”
“You got sick. I didn’t want to do a car accident or a plane crash because they could look that up someday and try to find a newspaper article or something about it—too conspicuous.”
“How clever of you,” he said wryly.
“I wasn’t wishing you dead, Harvey. I just needed a good explanation as to why you weren’t there. Would you rather I told them you were a drummer who drank too much and hit me, so I ran off?”
“No, I’d rather you told them that their daddy never knew about them, or else he’d have been there for them, dammit,” he said, raking a hand through his hair in disgust.
“I couldn’t do that. Because I was scared. I’m still afraid of what you’ll do,” she said sincerely, hoping her fear would touch him, that he would want to reassure her.
“You should be. Since you’re evidently the kind of woman who keeps secrets, who keeps a man away from his children, I can’t speak for your integrity and trustworthiness with any confidence.”
“I’m a good mother, Harvey.”
“You’ll excuse me for disagreeing. A good mother would want her children to have a father.”
“A good father wouldn’t tell people he’d take custody of any child his girlfriend got pregnant with. A good father wouldn’t pretend to be in love while plotting to take away my baby.”
“How would you know what sort of father I am? Since you made sure I never got the chance to find out!” he said.
“What else could I have done, Harvey? Tell me what would have made this okay.”
“You could have fucking told me you were pregnant and we would’ve figured it out together.”
“Figured it out as in gotten the lawyers to try and pay me off to get the baby, and then when that didn’t work, bully me with legal action when I couldn’t afford to fight you?”
“You know I wouldn’t have tried to take a baby from its mother. Unlike you, who stole the twins from their father.”
“You had just told me you weren’t ready to get serious! There’s nothing more serious than starting a family.”
“Actually there is. Crossing state lines with a minor child.”
“I was pregnant. With my children. There was no injunction in place to prevent me. As the putative father, you can petition for visitation and offer financial support, but no judge is going to give a stranger custody of two small children, particularly when they have a loving and capable mother who has provided for them financially and emotionally since birth.”
“You can’t keep me from them now that I know. Don’t try to run this time,” he warned, his teeth bared. “Because nothing on earth is going to keep me from them.”
“I’m not running. I’m going to stand here and fight. I’m wiser now, and I know what I’m up against. I have a job and a life here in San Francisco, and my children are in school here. I’m not uprooting them for selfish reasons, like a wish to avoid you.”
“May I remind you that you are the one who came here tonight looking for me,” he said smoothly.
“I was stupid. Because you’re the person I wanted to talk to, the person I needed to see when I was upset, even if the reason I’m upset is that I made a rash decision six years ago and right now it’s hurting everyone I care about including you. Including Caden and Corinne. I hoped we could talk, I could tell you a little about them, and you’d start to see them as little people and not as property I deprived you of. That we could work this out without getting ugly. But it seems like we can’t.”
Bella nodded to him curtly, collected her purse and left before he could say another word. Her idea of showing him photos from her phone’s camera roll and sharing an endearing story or two and winning him over to her way of thinking was pure fantasy.
Chapter 5
Bella went to Max’s house for dinner and politely broke up with him. It was the right thing to do, and she didn’t want to lead him. He was a nice guy and deserved better.
He shook his head distraught. “I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me.”
“I don’t see a future with you.”
“Because you’re in love with the father of your children,” he said flatly.
“You don’t even like kids.”
“I’ve never been a kid person. And yes, I don’t like kids.”
“I have small children. I think that’s a big problem for us,” she said.
“But I love you.”
“If you truly loved me, then you’d accept my kids.”
“I can give you everything. Can’t you see? I can give you the house of your dreams, all the jewelry you can ever dream of, beautiful clothes.”
“I had someone try to win me over with all of that, but it’s not who I am. I don’t care about all that stuff. You need to find a woman with no children.”
“But I want my own children.”
“Right. So you can send them off to boarding school. And that’s where we’re different. I love my kids. And I want to spend all my free time with them. I enjoy doing activities with them on the weekend. You want to send them off, and I want to be with them because, you see, my children are my world.”
“We don’t have to send your kids to boarding school,” he said. “You’ve won. They can stay with us. Are you happy, darling? You have me so wrapped around your finger that I’ll put up with your little brats.”
“You’re forcing it. I want somebody who wants to spend time with me and my kids. I want a real family. I want to make all those fun Christmas traditions, like making cookies, decorating the tree, and making Christmas crafts.”
“That’s seriously how you’d want to spend Christmas?”
“Yes. What other way is there?”
“Fly to the Caribbean and enjoy it on a yacht.”
“But isn’t half the fun watching the kids run down the stairs to open up their Christmas presents?”
“Not for me.”
“Max, it’s over. We don’t fit. I’ve realized that we are no longer moving in the same direction. We’ve grown close, shared many great times together that I will always cherish, but I think we’re better off as friends.”
“I can’t believe you’re saying this to me. Do you know how many women would love to date me? I have a list a mile long.”
“I’ll always have a special place in my heart for you. Our relationship felt like it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I was so lonely, and you walked in and made me laugh. We went to dinners, watched movies, and saw plays. It was wonderful, but lately, everything has felt wrong. I can’t stay in a relationship with a man who doesn’t care about my kids, and it isn’t fair for you to be stuck in a relationship that’s a lie. I hope that you’re able to move on, and meet someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.”
“Why are you doing this? Giving up on us like this? I thought we had a real future together, and you’re throwing us away.”
“It’s not fair to you for me to pretend that this relationship is going to work when I know in my heart that my attention is elsewhere.”
“Your ex.”
“It’s why you deserve to be with someone who will love you, and only you.”
“I will, Bella. You have no idea what you’re throwing away. And when you realize what a mistake you’ve made, don’t come running back to me, because I won’t be there for you.”
Bella wanted to spare his feelings, she did. She tried to do it in the nicest way possible. How do you deal with guilt caused by initiating a breakup? Can a person really break up with someone and not hurt their feelings?
“I didn’t want this to end on a bitter note,” she said.
“You’re breaking up with me, leaving me in the dust, and you think I’d be okay with it?”
“I still wanted to be friends.”
“Not a chance in Hell. Get out of my house.”
His feelings were hurt, so she let the rude remarks go. The truth is, nobody likes a breakup. She put on her jacket and reached for her purse. He led her to the door and opened it.
“Goodbye, Max.”
“Don’t ever call me again.”
She let out a long breath. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. And for the record, I hope this guy is worth it.”
He doesn’t like me either.
She added Max to the growing list of men who weren’t very happy with her at the moment.
Boy, ending relationships really sucked. She felt like downing a bottle of wine.
She walked to her car and let out a shaky breath. As she started her car, she knew this was for the best. She needed to break up with him properly. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy and that emotions were going to fly.
Chapter 6
Bella was excited to meet her sister for dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. She noticed Madison couldn’t stop grinning.
“You look so happy,” Bella said. “Did your shipment of drugs come in today?”
“Maybe.”
“Does the UPS driver even know he’s your dealer?”
She laughed. “How can you classify vitamins as drugs?”
“We all know how you have to get your fix of Vitamin C.”
“I’m so glad we got the chance to meet for dinner,” Madison said.
“Me too. We get so caught up in our own lives, or at least I did with everythi
ng that is going on.”
“So why haven’t you been calling me? And don’t say work. It’s like you’re avoiding me. Or keeping something from me. I sensed it when I picked up the twins to take them to the movies.”
“Maybe I am. Because I hate lectures.”
“Fess up, sister!”
She peered at her sister’s neck. “No, you fess up. Oh. My. Gosh. Is that a hickey?”
“Hey, don’t deflect the attention off yourself!”
“And I can say the exact same thing!”
“Contrary to popular belief, women my age who are still single with no children are not lepers. I just haven’t met anybody that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But I’m open to the idea of Prince Charming, and I might’ve possibly met him.”
Bella grinned widely. “What?”
“I hooked up with somebody last night.”
Bella squealed. “As in a one-night-stand? You don’t do those. You’re the responsible sister.”
“I don’t do one-night-stands! It was an audition. And yes, he called me back after the dirty deed.”
“Make him wear something?”
“Of course. I want to have a good time, not get Herpes. But I know I won’t get herpes from Ted.”
“Ted? Your best friend, Ted?”
“Yes!” she squealed.
Bella smiled. “So did he get the gig of boyfriend or what?”
“We’ll see. We’re crazy about each other.”
“I’m so happy! He’s a great guy! So you guys finally hooked up? And he left his mark?”
“Yep.”
“I know how much he loved you. I bet he’s getting that small package all ready for you.”
“Small? I think not!”
“I’m talking about a present. You know…”
“There is one gift a woman does not prefer to come in a small package.”
