‘He’s going to look great!’ said Aunty Chanel, then she leant towards Elijah’s ear. ‘She’s just jealous!’ Aunty Chanel and Jasmin stood in front of the mirror next to each other but they didn’t touch arms. Aunty Chanel looked at herself for a long time. ‘I need mine doing. It’s getting too much rootage.’ She pulled her earmuffs off, then parted her hair to show a line of black through the middle.
Jasmin looked up at the ceiling. She’d stuck a small star-shaped sticker with sellotape on the front of her school tie. A teacher had given her the sticker a long time ago and, even though it had lost its stick, Jasmin still wanted to wear it.
‘What shall we have for dinner?’ Aunty Chanel laughed. ‘I should cook you up some jerk chicken. I’m in the mood for that. Or maybe some soul food: crab callaloo.’
Elijah didn’t know what soul food was, but it sounded nice.
Jasmin flicked her ponytail. ‘You never cook anything except fish fingers,’ she said.
*
That night, Obi woke him up by gently shaking Elijah’s arm. He sat up suddenly. Obi put his finger to his lips. Maybe he was going to tell Elijah off about his haircut?
‘Your Aunty Chanel,’ he laughed. ‘Don’t look so worried,’ he said. ‘It’s OK. We’re going on an adventure.’ He flashed a torch in front of Elijah’s face.
‘Where are we going?’ Elijah rubbed his eyes and swung his legs out of bed. Obi had laid out some clothes – jeans, jumper, coat, scarf, socks and boots – and he helped Elijah to get dressed. Elijah didn’t know what time it was but the chink of light underneath his curtain wasn’t there at all. It must have been the middle of the night.
‘I know you have school tomorrow, so it will be a quick adventure, but I wanted to show you something. Hurry, now; we might miss it.’
They sneaked out of the house so quietly that Elijah could hear his own heart beating. He panicked. Maybe Obi was going to send him away? Even though the wizard was gone, maybe they wanted another child to adopt. A baby. Everyone wanted a baby. It was probably Elijah’s hair, with the large tick at the side of his head, that had made them change their minds.
After they’d come home, Nikki had answered the door and gasped. Then she’d held Elijah for a long time before sending him out to the garden. Then she’d gone over to Aunty Chanel’s flat to speak to her, which meant they had a secret. Could it be that she wanted him to live in another place? When Nikki came back, she gave Elijah another hug but he was still worried. Her favourite thing was his old curly hair. She said it reminded her of a newborn baby’s hair. Nikki must have told Obi that she couldn’t love him any more without his hair, and told Obi to take him away.
Obi pulled Elijah’s arm and they were running towards the park. The air smelt wet, though it hadn’t been raining. In the moonlight, everything looked the darkest blue, and the bushes at the side of the park rustled and moved. Elijah began to cry. He didn’t want to leave.
Obi stopped suddenly. ‘What is it? What’s wrong?’
‘Where are we going?’ he whispered, sniffing. He hated being a leaking boy. ‘I’m sorry about my hair.’
Obi laughed. ‘Well, I know Nikki doesn’t like it. And I know Aunty Chanel has very unusual ideas. But I’ll tell you a secret.’ He put his hand on Elijah’s shoulder. ‘I think it looks pretty cool.’
‘Really?’ Elijah reached up and touched the tick at the side of his head.
‘Of course! Now, don’t be frightened,’ he said. ‘We’re looking for creatures. I had a really long day at work today and, as I was walking home through the park, I saw something you’d love. That’s all. No need to worry.’ He lifted Elijah high up and put him on top of his shoulders and held his legs with his giant hands. Elijah put his hands on top of Obi’s and held on really tightly.
They walked through the cold night and Elijah watched the shadows and the emptiness of the park, the quiet of the world. The moon was a slice.
Obi’s shoulders were warm underneath him and he liked being high up. He could see everything, even in the darkness. Obi handed Elijah a torch and told him to flash it around. Suddenly, a small black shape flashed past them. Elijah heard a screeching sound, like a high echo in a big room. ‘There!’
‘What is it?’ The creature swooped again and then another and another. Much faster than a bird.
‘A bat!’ he said. ‘Bats! Have you ever seen one before?’
Elijah couldn’t answer. He was too busy shining the torch to catch a bat in the light, its wings almost see-through and so beautiful he couldn’t even speak.
*
The next morning, Elijah ate a giant breakfast: two bowls of cereal and then two slices of toast. Nikki smiled and looked at Obi, but he was reading the paper. He held it high in front of his face, like a wall between him and Nikki. Granddad watched Elijah eat and listened about the bats. ‘I like your hair!’ he said. ‘Except that side bit. The rest of it looks very smart. In Nigeria, we go to the barber’s much more than people do here. You wouldn’t see a scruffy boy in Nigeria. Aunty Chanel has unusual ideas about fashion sometimes, but this wasn’t one of them. I like it.’
Elijah couldn’t stop talking or eating. ‘There must have been a hundred bats,’ he said. ‘Or maybe five. And they fly so fast. And they use the echo sounds to help them find their way. I could hear them screeching.’
Nikki kept touching his hair. ‘That sister of mine!’ she said. But she laughed. ‘Sometimes,’ she said, her eyes sparkling. ‘Sometimes, children can hear bats but adults can’t.’ She walked to the sink.
Obi put down his paper and looked at her. ‘Maybe we can all go bat watching again at the weekend,’ he said.
And Elijah walked over towards Nikki, and threw his arms around her neck.
SEVENTEEN
‘So, this is your second review meeting and you’re now fifteen weeks into placement.’ Paula, who they’d not met before but who had introduced herself as another social worker on the team, tapped her pen on the table and looked at Nikki.
Nikki nodded. She looked round the cramped kitchen table at Elijah, sandwiched between Obi and Ricardo as though they were his bodyguards, and Chioma, with another social worker, Meena – a petite woman with an uneven fringe, who kept smiling at Nikki reassuringly. Nikki looked at Ricardo. His face was always warm, yet he had a line between his eyebrows, as if he’d frowned too much. He smiled at her.
‘We are all pleased with how things are going,’ Ricardo said. ‘Of course, it’s early days and a few hiccups are only to be expected, but a pretty solid start of placement.’
Everything was different from what Nikki had expected. They’d been told so many times that Elijah would have significant needs, how damaged he was, and they’d been anxious, expecting trouble. Yet he was the most loving child. He’d settled at home, and even settled in at school. His teachers reported that he was catching up academically, and had impeccable behaviour. There had been the issue with taking him to Battersea, and she hadn’t been able to go back to work yet, but – Obi was right – Elijah was empathetic, thoughtful and kind. At first, he’d seemed more comfortable with men, sitting on Obi’s or Daddy’s lap whenever he got the chance. But now he was really relaxed around Nikki too.
Meena smiled, and Paula wrote something down quickly in a large notebook, then looked at Elijah. ‘How are you, Elijah?’
‘I’m good, thanks.’ His voice was quiet. He was probably terrified. Nikki tried not to imagine how many meetings he’d had to go through in his short life. She’d put a colouring book on the table and a box full of crayons, but so far he seemed to want to sit and listen. He kept looking at her and she found herself nodding.
Paula turned to Nikki. ‘Now, is Elijah registered with a G.P.? Any health concerns?’
She asked question after question and ticked some sort of list in her giant notebook. Nikki tried to focus on Paula’s questions: what time does Elijah go to bed? Get up? Eat dinner?
Nikki answered most of the questions. Obi had gone back to wo
rk shortly after Elijah’s arrival and Nikki spent all of her time with him. She felt a little sad that Obi missed the small moments: Elijah helping her to cook, his delight in watering the garden, the warmth of his hand when it slipped into hers. She was looking forward to getting back to work but she knew how much she’d miss Elijah.
‘How is Elijah getting on with family members? Obi’s dad, your sister, Chanel? Your niece? Jasmin, isn’t it?’
Suddenly Elijah spoke and everyone stopped talking. ‘Jasmin is my friend,’ he said. ‘We’re cousins, but we’re best friends too.’
Nikki looked at Obi and smiled. Paula wrote in her notebook.
‘Well, look at you,’ said Chioma. ‘What a proud boy you are! That’s a very good feeling to have, Elijah.’ She beamed at Nikki. ‘From my point of view, the family therapy is working really well. Both Obi and Nikki are maximising any opportunity to promote attachment.’
Paula scribbled in her book as Chioma spoke. This wasn’t entirely true. While Obi had made time to get to the meetings with Chioma, he wasn’t often able to play at home. But he was certainly trying. Elijah had said that seeing those bats the other night was one of the best things he’d ever done.
Chioma turned to Elijah. ‘What games do you enjoy the most?’
‘I like mums and dads. They’re really good at it. Obi’s always moaning about work like a real dad and Nikki always rolls her eyes like a real mum and it’s really funny – but she doesn’t know about babies. When a baby cries, you have to give it a bottle.’
Nikki’s eyes opened wide. Elijah was smiling, but Obi frowned. ‘But you’re a big boy, Elijah; you don’t need a bottle!’ He laughed.
‘It’s only a game,’ said Elijah.
Paula stopped writing. ‘That’s right. And, anyway, is that such a bad idea?’
Nikki looked at Obi and Ricardo. Ricardo shrugged. ‘He didn’t have any time with you as a baby,’ he said. ‘Maybe he needs to make up lost ground.’
‘Children take what they need,’ said Chioma. ‘If Elijah wants to play mums and dads and have a bottle, then I’d let him,’ she said.
Nikki felt her face get hot. She imagined holding Elijah like he was a baby. There was a sudden pain in her stomach and an emptiness afterwards. She felt Chioma’s eyes on her.
‘Sometimes we even recommend this kind of thing for much older children.’ She smiled at Elijah. ‘Now. Let’s you and me go for a walk and let Mum and Dad talk for a while, OK? I really want an ice cream.’
Elijah looked at Nikki.
‘In this cold?’ Nikki said, laughing. ‘It’s nearly November! But I think an ice cream would be a good idea. Elijah knows the way to the best ice-cream shop.’
Chioma held Elijah’s hand on the way out, and Nikki heard his chatter fade as they left the house.
‘Right, the first thing to say is thank you for letting us know about what happened when you first saw Elijah’s scars. And, also, it’s good to talk about these things openly with Elijah. I’d say you dealt with it really well, before it escalated into something further,’ said Paula.
‘Also thanks for telling us about the Bible quotes.’ Ricardo sat up in his chair. ‘Deborah’s psychiatrist has been trying to get her to talk about her religion, but she’s so far been too ill to respond coherently. Mostly she talks about her family in Nigeria, but we’ve been unable to contact them.’
Paula stopped writing and looked up. ‘Has Elijah had any more nightmares?’
Nikki shook her head. ‘Not recently. There were a few before school began, but not since then.’
‘He’s been great,’ said Obi.
‘There are bound to be little problems, but Elijah is more settled with you than anywhere I’ve ever seen him.’ Ricardo beamed. ‘Perfect for each other.’
‘He adores Obi’s dad,’ said Nikki. ‘If he’s around, we don’t get a look in.’
Obi laughed. ‘He may as well live here, he’s been popping in so often. He’s had a key cut for Elijah, so that when he’s old enough he can let himself into Granddad’s house any time!’
‘That’s wonderful,’ said Paula. ‘I think that’s it for today. The only other point is this wizard business that you mentioned, Ricardo.’ She tapped her pen on the list written in the notebook in front of her. ‘Has he mentioned anything about it?’
Nikki frowned. She looked up at Ricardo.
‘It’s probably nothing,’ he said. ‘I thought I was Batman until I was eleven.’
‘He hasn’t mentioned anything to us. What do you mean, “wizard”?’
‘Well, a while ago, Elijah asked me if I knew how to kill wizards. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but then at our meeting he said something again, that “the wizard has gone”. That sounds positive, whatever he means, but with his extremely religious upbringing, and those Bible quotations, it’s something to be aware of – maybe ask him about.’
Paula let her pen drop to the notebook. ‘I don’t think we need to be adding worries. At this stage, jumping to conclusions, especially culturally sensitive ones, is likely to be damaging.’
Nikki nodded. ‘Do you mean a belief in witchcraft? I saw a documentary on Channel Four about children being branded as witches.’ She was appalled.
Paula raised her shoulders. ‘Well, possibly, but we really don’t know enough and what we do know doesn’t point to—’
Ricardo cut in, ‘We’re certain that the physical abuse Elijah suffered came from the birth mother, and that would be very unusual. And, as we said, the birth mother is much more focused on her home and family than she is on the church.’
‘As you told us when we talked about this the first time,’ said Paula, ‘it’s not unusual for kids to pick up phrases they’ve heard, and I think it’s important not to overreact. Keep an eye out, but don’t push it. As long as Elijah’s making progress, we can get to the bottom of things naturally, rather than unsettling him.’
‘All young kids believe in magic and superheroes,’ said Obi.
‘Exactly.’ Paula snapped her notebook shut. ‘You’re doing a wonderful job.’ She smiled at Nikki and Obi. ‘Wonderful. Do contact us if there are any issues. Our manager is on sick leave and I’ll be away on annual leave until the sixth, but there’s always someone on duty if it’s an emergency.’
Nikki gave a tiny smile to Obi. He opened his eyes slightly wider.
*
The following morning, Ricardo was back. Nikki spotted him through the bedroom window, carrying a briefcase and wearing a business suit and proper shoes that clicked on the pavement. She ran down the stairs, only to find a letter on the doormat. She opened the door but he was already walking back down the path.
‘Ricardo! Ricardo!’
He turned quickly and walked back. ‘Sorry. I’m so pushed today, I just wanted to drop off the L.A.C. report from yesterday. I can’t stop – I have to be in court in fifteen minutes and I’m on duty as well – three of my colleagues are off sick today, would you believe.’
If Ricardo hadn’t been carrying the briefcase and a stack of papers, Nikki imagined he would have been waving his arms with every word. ‘OK,’ she smiled. ‘Poor you! But I did want to talk to you about the meeting yesterday. So if you can make some time …’
‘I know, I know. It’s ridiculous, the pressure we’re under. Awful when you feel like you can’t do your job properly because you’re stretched so thin.’ He shrugged. ‘But at least you, my lovely family, are doing so well that I don’t need to worry about you.’ He turned and walked away. ‘I’ll be in touch,’ he called, before opening his car door and climbing in, a flurry of papers landing all around him.
Nikki watched him drive away. She knew she shouldn’t worry, that if Elijah’s team was happy to let things unfold naturally, then she should be happy too. But occasionally she caught Elijah looking sad, and every time she saw his scars her heart broke. There was so much she didn’t know about her own son.
L.A.C. Review Decisions and Planning 2:
The review supports Obi and Nikki’s wish to submit an application to adopt Elijah. They have completed the paperwork and will send this week.
Social worker visits will become monthly. Ricardo will visit at an agreed date.
Chioma will continue therapeutic-play work. This has been identified as enormously beneficial for Elijah.
Life-Story work will not start until Elijah is completely settled, as it has triggered so many behaviours in the past. This work will be done in conjunction with therapy.
Contact agreements will remain, though face-to-face contact is looking less likely as Deborah has remained unable to fulfil these agreements for a significant period of time. The letters are being kept by Ricardo. Deborah’s art / writing, intended for Elijah, is inappropriate for him at this age and she is refusing to modify them to make them suitable. There is an agreement that the pieces are being kept by the team.
*
‘Can we play mums and dads?’ Elijah asked at bedtime. Nikki looked at the clock. It was already eight. ‘OK,’ she said.
In the lamplight she looked around at the shadows in his bedroom. Once, long ago, it was going to be a nursery. They had a cot, which Obi had spent hours fitting together, only to find he had one screw left over and no idea where it should go. He’d sworn so loudly she’d come rushing up the stairs. They’d had curtains, pink and white gingham, and a changing table with a matching pink and white gingham changing mat.
But the memory was already fading, and here in front of her Elijah’s face was shining and real. Now she was a mum with a son who liked animals and playing games and was perfect. For the first time in so long, the present mattered much more than the past. Elijah looked up at her with perfectly clear eyes.
He was making crying noises and closing his eyes, curling into a ball, making his voice babyish. ‘Pretend I’ve just been born,’ he whispered. ‘Pretend you’re my mama.’
Nikki stroked his face. ‘We don’t need to pretend,’ she whispered. ‘I am your mum.’
Where Women are Kings Page 14
