by Lisa Patton
Everyone laughs.
“I’m sure y’all remember me mentioning these bags at Orientation. Feel free to use them for all your necessities: your student ID, money, tampons,” she says, with a warm smile. “Lipstick. And, most importantly, keep your schedules in here.”
A girl named Maddie Patton raises her hand. “What if we need to go to the bathroom?”
More laughter erupts from our group.
“Good question,” Sarah says. “Hopefully, it’ll be on your lunch break, which, by the way, is at noon today. Or you could go on your afternoon break. But if at any time you’re dying, and can’t possibly hold it another second, tell me. I’ll escort you into whatever House we happen to be closest to.”
“I have one,” I say.
“Of course. Ask anything you want,” Sarah replies.
“I’ve heard something about a variable quota this year? What exactly is that, and what does it mean for us?”
“That’s another good question, Cali, thank you. So, this year Panhellenic is trying to help the newer sororities on campus get more members. In order to do that they’ve put a restriction on the quota for older, more established sororities, and given the newer ones a higher quota.” The way she’s tucking her hair behind her ears and the smile on her face make me think she considers a variable quota a good thing. “It does mean it’ll be a little harder to get a bid from the older sororities, but we have so many great Houses on this campus. Please don’t worry about that.”
“I’ve heard the older Houses rushed way more girls than they should have last year because they only learned about variable quota a few months ago. What, then?” Bridgett asks.
Sarah shrugs. “That’s anyone’s guess. But the good news is newer sororities will have a chance to catch up. It makes the whole thing much more fair. Don’t y’all think?”
I’m starting to wonder if Sarah might be in a newer sorority. She’s required to keep her affiliation a secret, and my curiosity is driving me crazy. Old or new, I’d kill to be her sorority sister.
“Honestly, y’all. Please don’t worry about this. On another note, we’ll all be together today, but for the rest of the week you’ll be in new groups, depending on which Houses invite you back. But there will always be Gamma Chis waiting outside every House to help you with whatever you need.”
The chatter in the Grove is climbing, so Sarah makes a megaphone with her hands. “I’m always here for you if you need to call or text me. Okay?” Her eyes rove around at each of us. “I mean that.”
Another girl in my group raises her hand. “Sarah, I have a question.”
“Sure, Whitney, go ahead.”
“Do we take our plastic bags into the Houses?”
“Actually, the Gamma Chis keep them for you. And I meant to tell y’all, I have Advil and plenty of breath mints, and granola bars if you’re starving.” She holds her arms up and looks at the sky. “Can y’all believe how lucky we are? As of right now it’s not supposed to rain all week. But it could get chilly a little later in the day, so don’t hesitate to wear a jacket. The Gamma Chis will hold those for you, too, when you go inside for the parties.”
Sarah reaches into her back pocket and glances at her phone. “So it’s eight thirty-five now. Oh, one more thing. Everyone left their phone at home, right?”
We all nod.
“Unfortunately,” Bridgett says.
Sarah laughs. “I know it’s a pain. Everyone hates it.” Another Gamma Chi walks by and waves her over, away from our group. I watch them talk among themselves a minute before Sarah hurries back. “Everyone ready?”
We’re all looking around at one another, nodding.
“Alrighty then. First up, Chi Omega.”
THIRTY-FIVE
CALI
Sitting here in this classroom at Weir Hall, after the overload of noise and conversation we’ve had all day, is like stepping out of a rock concert into a prayer chapel. After standing for three hours in a line that ran all the way back to the Union, I’m relieved to finally be sitting down. I can’t believe it’s already dark outside.
Now I am trying to rank—well, I’m agonizing over—my bottom three choices. I loved every single sorority. Granted, some knew all about me, and others didn’t, but that’s because of my lack of recommendations to every House. I’m sure of it. And even more sure now—after meeting the members and seeing the kindness they showed me—that I have a real chance. I would be happy with a bid from any one of them.
All fifteen of us in this room seem to be more confused than sure. One girl has her head on her desk. Another has her arms crossed with her pencil on top of the sheet in front of her. Not only are we supposed to circle our top ten choices, and rank our bottom three, but there’s a place to choose how we wish to be contacted should we not get invited back to any Houses: by phone or in person. I check phone. I’d rather get it over with in a single phone call.
Sitting right in front of me is a girl who seems more baffled than I am. A Gamma Chi is kneeling next to her desk with her hand on the girl’s arm. Sarah had told us that Gamma Chis would be here tonight to talk us through our ranking, should we need help choosing. “They won’t try to sway you,” she said. “They’ll offer you an unbiased ear.”
When the Gamma Chi gets up, I raise my hand and she walks over, kneels at my desk. “Hi,” she whispers. “Having trouble?”
“A little,” I whisper back. “I would love your advice on something.”
“Sure.” She shifts knees and smiles.
“Should I rank the sororities I didn’t have recs for as my bottom three? Even if I loved them? Like a ton?”
She tilts her head, takes a minute to ponder, then slowly nods her head yes. “I think that’s wise. Especially if you’re having trouble choosing. Only because all the Houses here require recs. Make sense?”
“It does. Thank you,” I whisper.
“Of course.” She gives me a light hug and moves over to the side of the classroom.
I am dying to talk to Ellie. We haven’t crossed paths one time today, not even at our lunch break in the Union. I can’t wait to hear which Houses she’s circled as her top ten. It would be awesome if our choices were the same. But even if they aren’t I’m still thrilled over the thought of having a big family of sisters I can grow old with. Be in one another’s weddings. Hold one another’s babies. Support one another when life takes a crippling turn. Never having had a sister of my own, this is my chance.
My one negative out of the entire day is the money issue. Like I thought, I will probably need five thousand dollars my first year. Aside from the babysitting jobs I’ve had, I’ve not taken a steady job since school started. So far I’ve been concentrating on my grades. It’s a dilemma. Somehow, though, I will come up with the extra money.
*
The line at Chick-fil-A in the Union was almost out the door, so I decided to go back to the dorm for dinner and grab chicken fingers at the C-store. Totally starving and dying from the smell, I dive into the bag while riding the elevator, and finish every single one by the time I get back to my room.
After fumbling for my room card, I unlock the door, hoping to find Jasmine, but instead our room is dark and empty. One glance at my phone tells me it’s not too late to head next door, so I throw the empty chicken finger bag in the trash and head over. Of course their door is open, so I poke my head inside. Both of them wave when they see me, but Ellie slides right off her bed and pulls me down on the couch next to her. “I looked for you, but forget it.”
“I know. Right?”
“Crazy.”
“I think I saw you leaving the KD House,” Annie Laurie says. Still in her Greek Day clothes, she’s on top of her unmade bed—amidst all of her gorgeous throw pillows—flipping through Cosmo magazine.
“Really? I never saw you.”
“I was leaving Tri Delt; you were talking to your Gamma Chi.”
“Oh my gosh,” Ellie says, twisting her hair up. “I loved, loved the Tri Delts
.”
I’m feeling the same way, so I pull my knees up and lean in toward her. “I agree.”
The temperature outside has dropped and the dorm feels a little chilly, so I wrap up in their furry throw. Ellie moves closer. I cover her up, too. “Do you have a preference?” she asks.
“Not really. Do you?”
She tilts her head. “The Phi Mus were great, so were the DGs, and the Chi Os.” She marks each one off with her fingers. “The Alpha Phis. Of course I loved the Alpha Delts—honestly, I loved them all.” She pulls the throw up under her chin.
“Me, too. It took me forever to rank.”
“Same here. What’s it gonna be like after Philanthropy parties? We can only choose five.”
“I can’t think about that right now. But truly, I’m not just saying this … I’d be happy with any sorority.”
“Not me.” Annie Laurie has finally found something to comment on. “There were a few you couldn’t give me a million dollars to join.”
Ellie and I look at each other slyly, out of the corners of our eyes. I don’t even want to know which ones she’s talking about. So I change the subject. “I guess I’ll have to be ready for Philanthropy when I go to class tomorrow. I don’t get out till three.”
“That sucks,” Ellie says.
“I know. I’m just happy it doesn’t conflict. You know we’ll be dropped from Rush if we miss a class?”
“That’s ridiculous,” Annie Laurie says, slapping the magazine down on her lap. “How would they even know?”
“I’m not sure, but I’m not taking any chances,” I say.
“You’re such a rule-follower, Cali. You need to chill.” It seems by the tone of her voice that she’s joking, but knowing her, she’s not. “Are any of your friends from Blue Mountain rushing this year?”
I hesitate before answering. She’s such a snoop. “I don’t think so.”
“That was random,” Ellie says looking at her with a what-planet-did-you-come-from look on her face.
Annie Laurie either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. “Huh. How come?”
My patience is running dry. “I’m not really sure, Annie Laurie.”
“My mom said a lot of poor people live in Blue Mountain.” The girl doesn’t let up.
“Blue Mountain doesn’t have many wealthy families, if that’s what you mean.”
Ellie pats my leg. She knows me well enough to know I’m wearing thin. “That’s okay. Who cares?”
I’ve had about as much of Annie Laurie as I can stand for the day. “I’m about to drop,” I say, standing up from the couch. “Guess I’ll see y’all at the Grove tomorrow.” I wave and Annie Laurie waves back.
“Let’s try to find each other.” Ellie’s eyes are full of anguish. It’s hard to be in her position. Roommates need to get along, and confrontation makes living together unbearable.
“Sounds good. Y’all have a good night’s sleep.”
Before I walk out the door Annie Laurie shuts her Cosmo and sits up straight. “I’m sure Blue Mountain is a sweet place.”
The heat of anger rises up the back of my neck. I whip around, stare at her briefly. “It really is, Annie Laurie.”
After stepping into the hall, I shut the door—harder than I should—behind me.
*
The next afternoon in the Grove, when Sarah hands me my schedule for Philanthropy parties, only five of the ten time slots are full. The others say: No Event Scheduled. I’ve been dropped by five of my top ten choices. I’m not going to lie. Seeing this in print stings. But I suppose it makes sense.
I followed the advice from the Gamma Chi in the ranking room, chose sororities I had recs for, but even still some of them dropped me. It’s okay, no big deal, I tell myself, because, more importantly, I still have Alpha Delt and Tri Delt. And they are Ellie’s top choices. But the scary thing about that is, they’re both older sororities. Their pledge classes will be smaller. Don’t get too attached, I tell myself. Concentrate on the other three, the less-established sororities who have invited you back.
The sound of someone trying to catch her breath startles me. When I look to my right, Rebecca, a sweet girl in my Gamma Chi group, is crying. She’s holding her schedule in one hand, and her stomach with the other. Now she’s shaking. I want to comfort her, but I’m not sure what to say. I turn a slow circle, my mouth opening wider with each step, and now I’m freaking out because lots of girls are blinking back tears. Yes, there are many more who are happy, but others are full-on crying.
I never expected to see tears today; it’s early in the week. But it’s going on all around me. All over the Grove, teary-eyed girls are walking around aimlessly looking for someone, anyone, to give them comfort. One girl with tears rolling down her cheeks passes right by me, and I overhear her tell the girl she’s with that she’s transferring to another school.
I feel terrible for Rebecca. I don’t want to ask her about her schedule because I can tell she’s devastated, but I feel like I need to say something. “Did you not get your first choice?” I finally ask. I can’t stand seeing her cry.
She shakes her head and with tears pooling in her eyes, asks, “Do you know Elise Davis?”
“No. I’m sorry I don’t,” I say.
“Will you please, please go with me to find her?”
“Sure I will.” I mean, it’s the least I can do, so we set off on a journey to look for Elise Davis.
“I need to find her or at least one of my other best friends,” Rebecca says. “I wish we could have our ph-phones.” Her voice is shaking and tears are streaming down her cheeks. She’s using her fingers to wipe them away, but they won’t stop.
We see other girls running into the Union so we follow along behind them. There’s a super-long line of crying girls waiting for the bathroom. Instead of taking a place in line, she wants to keep looking for Elise. But we only have twenty minutes before the first Philanthropy party starts and there are hundreds of people in the Grove. There’s no way we’ll find her in time.
“Why don’t you talk to Sarah?” I say, in my most tender voice.
“Okay. I guess I can.”
Taking Rebecca by the hand, I lead her back to Sarah, who takes one look at her and immediately wraps an arm around her shoulder. Then she moves her away from the group, off to a private spot near a magnolia tree.
Not wanting to appear as though I’m eavesdropping, I stand off to the side. While scanning the edges of the Grove, I notice other crying girls with their Gamma Chis. Should I be crying? I’ve been cut by several sororities, but for some reason I feel strong. I’m not sure what that’s about, but I’ll revel in my strength for as long as I have it.
Several minutes pass and I’m thinking of rejoining our group when Sarah and Rebecca walk back toward me. “Clean up your makeup,” I hear Sarah say. “You still have five great Houses left. Let’s go in and open your heart up to possibility. Okay?”
Rebecca nods in agreement, but it seems she’d rather just go home.
“Cali, will you please walk with Rebecca to the Union so she can splash her face? I need to get back to our group.”
“Sure. I’d love to.”
As Rebecca and I are walking toward the bathroom I can’t help wishing I could join Sarah’s sorority. She’s exactly the kind of person I want for a lifelong friend. But after witnessing all these tears today I’m reminded of how real the possibility is that I might not be joining a sorority at all.
THIRTY-SIX
WILDA
It’s two o’clock in the morning when we park my car in front of Lilith’s condo after the final round of Sisterhood parties. Lilith not only laid down the law about me staying here during Rush, but she insisted both of our other Rush Advisors, Sallie and Gwen, stay, too. Why in the world any of us agreed is the question.
Our initial thinking made sense. Since Lilith’s invitation would save the sorority scads of dollars on hotel rooms, all three of us said yes. Albeit reluctantly, at least on my part, but what
was I going to say? Rush Advisors are required to be in Oxford an entire week, so that’s a considerable amount of money saved. I’d rather see Alpha Delt put it toward something more meaningful, like the impoverished people of Oxford. Or the Care Walk for Breast Cancer. Or how about a raise for the staff?
On the short drive home from the House, all we’ve been talking about is falling into bed. But when we stumble into the kitchen, Lilith, whom we all believed would be fast asleep by now, is sitting on a stool at the kitchen counter—fully dressed—flipping through the latest copy of Garden & Gun.
On the far side of the island, I spot a bottle of red wine and three Waterford wineglasses. Right next to that, elegantly displayed on a large McCarty tray, is a spread of cheeses, olive tapenades, grapes, three kinds of crackers, and turkey sliders. The first night we were here, Lilith catered in a tenderloin supper. Every night since she’s had a unique spread of tapas waiting on us. But all this glorious food and wine doesn’t change the fact that her daughter, Annie Laurie Whitmore—a triple legacy—was cut from Alpha Delta Beta two hours ago. And we have to pretend like all is well. Every time I think about it I dry heave.
“Hey. How did it go?” Lilith says, cheery and full of energy. She slides off her chair and moves over to her six-foot, SubZero wine cooler. Sallie shoots me a glance from the corner of her eye while Gwen checks her phone, as if there’s anything new to see at two A.M.
“Exhausting,” Sallie says. “This is my last year on the Board.”
“Sallie, you can’t quit. Alpha Delt needs you.” Lilith has removed a wine bottle that’s already been corked. She pours a full glass, then slides it across the marble counter to Sallie. It’s that nails-on-a-chalkboard sound. And so is her voice. “Sounds like you could use a large one.”
