Heading back into that bar, pretending like everything was ok was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure. My heart shattered all over again.
I sat back down at the table with my date and hated every second of it. Being here feels completely wrong. The guy is nice enough, but I can’t for the life of me remember his name. The second I saw him, all I could think about was Carter. I mean, the guy looks so similar. The same style, the same body shape and dark hair.
This was a mistake.
I feel the familiar sting in my eyes and I know I’m seconds away from breaking down into tears. I excuse myself for the bathroom and spend the next few minutes leaning against the sink. Shit, I feel sick to my stomach.
The fact the Carter saw me here meeting another guy is bad enough. That must have stung for him, too.
The need to splash water on my face comes over me but seeing as though I have mascara on and I’m supposed to be on a date, that probably isn’t such a great idea.
Shit, I need to get out of here.
Hmm, do I escape out the back door or tell the guy it isn’t going to work and leave like a normal human being?
I peek my head out the door and dash across the bar for the back door.
This dating shit isn’t going to happen.
I stand outside the open back door and sit down on a stool I assume is for the bouncer. I pull out my phone and dial Bobby’s number. “What’s up, Bri?” he asks instantly.
After my accident yesterday, he must have called me at least twenty times just to check up on me like a good twin brother should.
“I’m on a date,” I tell him with a cringe.
“What?” he grunts. “Why the hell do I need to know that and why the hell are you calling me?”
“Because I’m standing at the back door wondering if I should be escaping,” I tell him.
He lets out a breath. “Isn’t this what you have Cassie for?” he questions.
“Yeah, but I want to talk to you.”
“What’s the matter?” he asks.
“Carter crashed my date,” I explain. “I’m just… I don’t know. I’m not ready.”
“Fuck,” he grunts. “What is this guy’s deal? You might not be ready but you need this. You need to try, otherwise, you’re going to continue being this half version of yourself. Carter isn’t the be all and end all. He’s just a guy. Just like any other guy. You’ll find someone special eventually, but to do that you need to at least try to find him. I love you, Bri, but I love you more when you’re happy. Do it for me.”
“Maybe I should just switch teams,” I sigh.
“No, chicks are fucking crazy. You couldn’t handle that shit. Besides, the poor guy went to the effort to come out and meet you, the least you could do is give him a chance.”
“Fine,” I groan. “I’ll go back in.”
“That’s the spirit,” he says. “Can I go now?”
“Yeah,” I say. “Love you.”
“Love you, brat,” he says before hanging up.
With a smile, I quickly type out a text.
Brianna – Did you tell Carter about the date? He seems to think it was a group thing and crashed.
Knowing she would have her phone on her all night, she responds instantly.
Cassie – Shit. Sorry. It just came out. Are you ok?
Brianna – No, but I’ll be fine. What was this guy’s name again?
Cassie – Geez! It’s Xavier.
Brianna – Thanks xx
Cassie – Remember, you don’t have to suck his dick on the first date.
Ugh, it’s just like her to offer a little support, but I don’t think I need it right now, no dicks will be sucked tonight. The poor guy is lucky I’m going back in.
Without responding, I turn on my heel and head back into the bar. I find the poor guy sitting at the table and I walk up with a smile.
“Everything ok?” Xavier questions.
“No,” I tell him honestly. “I’ve had a pretty shit last few months but hopefully that’s all over. Can we start this date over?”
“Sure,” he says as he stands and holds out his hand. “I’m Xavier, it’s nice to meet you Bri.”
----------
What was I thinking dating this guy? The first date was nice, it ended on a high and I allowed him to kiss me on the cheek. He opened doors for me, paid the bill and was a perfect gentleman, so I agreed to go on a second.
Big fucking mistake.
Xavier is a grade five clinger. Our second date consisted of dinner at my place followed by the smallest amount of fooling around, my bits never got touched and neither did his, which honestly after the mess of a kisser he is, I assume he wouldn’t know what to do with my lady bits anyway.
He left super late that night after I ‘cooked’ a nice dinner. We hung out and watched a movie on the couch while I ate ice cream from the container. He attempted to hold my hand and it was honestly super weird. I used to hold Carter’s hand because I was in love with him and I couldn’t get enough, but before that, I never would hold hands with a man and I guess I’m right back there. Hand holding is sacred to Carter.
I had given him my number which is where I went wrong as he won’t fucking leave me alone. He texts me while I’m working, while I’m grocery shopping, while I’m driving while I’m sleeping in the middle of the fucking night. I swear, my phone doesn’t have enough data to deal with a guy like this.
Like I said. Grade five clinger.
Don’t get me wrong, he is super nice and pretty damn hot. I’m even considering jumping in the sack with him just to see if he’s got what it takes to get me off. Then I can get rid of him. I’m just worried there’ll be tears when I do.
But then… it’s nice having someone there. It’s totally not going to go anywhere romantic as I’m already starting to not be able to stand the guy. I’ll give it a few more days of fun and then it’s over. My time with him is turning into my drug to block the thoughts of Carter. It’s good, but only lasts a little while.
I’ve come to the realization that Carter has ruined me for other men. Not that I’ve tried yet, but I just don’t feel that tingling around sexy men like I used to. I mean, I’m happy to look but when it comes to touching… there’s only one penis I want in and around my business.
Maybe I just need to have fun for a little bit, not think about my future and see how things play out. It’s not like I’m expecting to jump straight into another relationship. I just want someone there to distract me. Keep me busy.
I guess it’s going to be trial and error from here. The game can be ‘how long can I mess with a guy before he realizes I’m using him?’
It’s been a week since that first date with Xavier and that awful run in with Carter. Xavier has since gotten used to just showing up at my house. At first, I thought it was a bit much and super intrusive, but he bought a bottle of wine and dinner, so I let him in. Since then, he barely leaves.
When there’s a knock on the door I don’t flinch as I’ve gotten used to it over the past week. I get up off my couch and hit pause on the latest episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians as anyone who knows me, knows that I simply can’t miss it. I mean, Khloe Kardashian is fucking hilarious. She’s my go to girl for everything. I mean, she’s the complete package. Fashion goals, hair goals, even fitness goals. She’s got it all. Hell, she’s even got a baby, too.
I open the door and surprise, surprise, it’s Xavier standing in the hallway. I groan inwardly as it would be nice to just have a night to myself, but then I know that if he wasn’t here, I’d start missing someone else.
Why does heartbreak have to be so damn awful?
Xavier comes on in and makes himself at home. He dumps a bag of food on the bench knowing that the only thing in my fridge is alcoholic and comes in a very pretty bottle, which honestly, can afford to be a little bigger.
“How was your day?” he asks as he starts plating the food.
“Not too bad,” I tell him. “The kids were a bi
t much, though. I had to hand out a few too many detentions for my liking.”
“Really?” he asks. “That sucks.”
“Yeah, they usually get a bit rough by the end of the week. They’ll be their usual perfect selves come Monday.” I explain. “And to be honest, when they’re like that, I give them quiet reading time to calm down, that way I get to give myself a break as well.”
“I’m not surprised,” he says as if he truly knows me. I get cozy on my couch and pull a blanket over my legs. Xavier comes and hands me a plate before taking the spot beside me. “Hope you like Chinese,” he says.
“Who doesn’t?” I reply as I instantly start scoffing my food.
I hit play on the Kardashians and pick up where I left off, feeling slightly awkward with Xavier so close beside me. That awkwardness quickly turns into irritation as he starts talking through the Kardashians and I miss all the good parts with my stupid need to be polite.
I give up and let the show play, promising myself that I’ll have to rewatch it, with no one around to distract me. I mean, I could kick the guy out but he brought dinner and that just seems rude.
After a draining week, it’s not long before the yawns start to kick off and I find myself falling asleep on the couch.
The background noise of the TV fades away as my eyes close. I feel myself being moved on the couch which is followed by the familiarity of an arm being put around me. I realize Xavier is attempting to force a cuddle out of my unconsciousness, but I’m far too tired to object.
If only it was someone else’s arms.
Chapter 8
Carter
“Come on, buddy,” I whisper as I look down at my far from hard dick, begging him to just play along for tonight. “You can do it.”
I stand in my date’s bathroom, hating myself for being such a fucking loser.
I’ve never once had a problem performing, yet here I am with a very willing woman in the next room, offering to suck my dick and allow me to fuck her until she passes out, but my fucking dick doesn’t want a damn part of it.
After last week, seeing Bri starting to date again, it flicked a switch inside me. If she’s trying to move on, then why shouldn’t I? It’s that very thinking that got me caught up in this stupid situation. In a random woman’s bathroom, talking to my dick and thinking about my ex.
I haven’t had sex since the last time I fucked Bri and believe me, I want to, but the thought of sleeping with another woman makes me feel nauseous, however, remembering that last time with Bri kind of helps my situation, picturing the way she was bent over at the hips and I slammed into her from behind. She grasped onto the wall to avoid hitting her head and used it to push back into me.
Fuck yeah. It was nothing short of magical. It always was with her. I grasp my dick as I picture that moment clear as day in my head and just as I knew it would, my dick instantly grows hard.
I go to step out of the bathroom, but realization hits me like a fucking truck. I’m about to fuck some strange woman while thinking about Bri. Before I met her, I never would have had a problem with something like that, but now it just seems so… wrong.
Fuck.
“Carter?” I hear from the other side of the door. “Is everything alright in there?”
Ugh. The sound of her voice has me deflating like a damn balloon. Just great. Another night where I’ll go without having sex. What has my life come to? I guess I’ll be heading home to take care of business myself, just as I’ve been doing for the past five months.
“Carter?” the woman questions again.
Damn it. How am I going to get out of here? If I go out there that woman is going to maul me again which is something I simply can’t handle again. Having her hands all over me makes me want to take a shower.
I mean no disrespect to the lady, I’m sure she’s a really nice person when she isn’t wasted, but I just can’t do it. I’m clearly not ready.
I look around the bathroom and see the window. The idea instantly comes to me but I’m going to have to be smart about this. It’s a small window and my clothes are in the bedroom. I eye the towel and consider using that, but then an image of me running up the street in nothing but a towel comes to mind and I just can’t risk it.
I definitely would have done something like that in college, but I’m the CEO of a multi-million dollar construction company which has my family name connected to it and doing something like that is bound to end up in the media. I can’t put my company and my family through that kind of embarrassment. Not to mention, it’s not something I want Brianna to hear about.
Shit. I’m going to have to get my clothes and somehow walk out of this place with dignity. That plan is then seen as my only option when I remember my keys, wallet and phone are in my jeans pocket.
Hmm… I wonder if I can still use the window.
“Hey, ah…. Love?” I ask through the bathroom door, having completely forgotten the woman’s name.
“Yes?” she asks a little too excitedly.
“Can you grab me a glass of water? I’m not feeling so great.” I lie.
“Oh, um sure. Do you need some pain killers or something?”
Hmm, good idea. That would buy me an extra minute or two. “That’d be great,” I say.
“Ok,” she says, and I listen as carefully as I can through the door. I hear the bedroom door open and I make my move. I dart out of the bathroom and run around the bedroom, gathering my clothes as she hums to herself in what I’m assuming is the kitchen.
I head back to the bathroom and pull my jeans on as quickly as I can when I hear the sound of a creak in the floorboards. Shit, she’s on her way back.
I reach up for the latch of the window and shimmy it open. Not having time to pull my shirt on, I shove it in my mouth and bite down as I hoist myself up.
I hear her voice on the other side of the closed door as I slide through the window and drop to the ground. Thank God, this is a one-story home. “Carter?” she asks. “Can you open the door?”
Not likely, I think to myself as I work on closing the window. She wraps on the door but the window closes just in time. “Carter?” I hear muffled through the window.
Yeah, it’s time to run.
I take off feeling like a fucking teenager again. I mean, that was probably the most immature thing I’ve done in the past ten years, but man, it gave me a thrill.
I pull my phone out to call a taxi when I see a missed call from Sean. I hit his number and bring the phone to my ear. The call connects and the sound of someone yelling in agony fills the speaker before Sean’s voice is heard over the noise. “Hey,” he says, super cheery.
“Hey,” I reply. “What the fuck’s going on?” I ask, referring to all the noise.
“Sara’s gone into labor,” he tells me. “We’re at the hospital now.”
“Shit,” I grin. “How’s it going? Do I need to get down there?” Excitement takes over every thought in my mind. My brother is about to have a fucking baby. How great is this? In the next few hours, I could have a little niece or nephew to corrupt.
“Nah,” he says with a smile in his voice. “It’s still early. We’ve got time.”
“Ok,” I say. “How’s Sara going? Is she alright?”
“Do I fucking sound alright?” I hear Sara yelling through the phone and I realize I must be on speaker.
“You sound great Sara,” I say encouragingly.
“You’re full of shit,” she grunts. “I hate this. You fuckers better have a big fucking present for me after this,” she demands.
“I’ll see what we can do,” I tell her.
“Alright,” Sean says cutting in. “I’ll give you a call when it’s time to head down here.”
“Alright, sure man,” I say as I hear Sara in the background asking for drugs. I’m glad I’m not that bastard right now. I can’t imagine anything worse than watching a woman push a baby out of such a small hole. It would be traumatic.
Sean hangs up the call and I go about calling a
taxi. I need to get home as quickly as I can so I can sober up a little and shower before having to go to the hospital. From what I’ve heard, it apparently could take a really long time when it’s your first baby so I probably have at least six hours to chill out, maybe I could even have a sleep.
By the time I get home, the excitement has already sobered me up. I dash upstairs and jump straight in the shower. I get dressed, head down to my living room and get comfortable for the long wait. I turn on ESPN and grin to myself as a repeat of Logan’s last game appears on the screen.
The minutes tick by and the longer I wait, the worse my fidgeting becomes. Shit. I’m not going to be able to wait for Sean to remember to call. He’s probably too wrapped up in all that’s happening that he forgot all about calling.
It’s only been a few hours since his call, but I grab my keys anyway. I probably shouldn’t be driving after my night of drinking, but I’m feeling pretty good. I fire up my truck and fly down to the hospital.
I go straight up to the reception desk and try to figure out where the hell the maternity ward is. I mean, I’ve been to this hospital a million times, especially growing up with my two brothers. We became frequent flyers here, but the maternity ward… that’s somewhere I’ve never wanted to be before.
The elevator doors open on the maternity ward and the first thing I see is the rest of my family in the waiting room, slumped over their chairs as they wait for news. Jax is the first to look up and notice me smirking at them. “You couldn’t wait either?” he questions as the others look up.
“Tried. Failed,” I tell them as I take a seat beside Cassie who shuffles around in her chair, lays down and uses Jax’s lap as a pillow and mine as a foot rest. Usually, I’d push her off, but today is special. If she wants to use me as her personal pillow, then that’s fine.
I do what any other brother would do in this situation and very carefully and discreetly tie her shoelaces together. I glance up to find Logan watching me with a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. I hold my breath waiting for him to chew me out, but he goes along with it and doesn’t say a word. I let out my breath. Safe.
Carter: Denver Royalty (Book 2) Page 5
