He continued on with that practice until he was eighteen-years-old, committing petty crimes just often enough to keep him off the streets—a little theft here, a small fight there. In the system, they gave him a shoddy education, but at least he’d learned enough to get his GED. From that point on, T.J. vowed to keep his record clean.
A dishwasher gig at some dirty diner kept a roof over his head in the form of a tiny room the size of a small closet. Eventually, he worked his way into better, although menial, jobs until he started a stint in security, which led him into the opportunity of working backstage at the biggest houses on Broadway.
That afternoon, though, Maggie had to force herself to forget about T.J.’s situation. She simply had to take things at face value as she watched those two sweet little boys at play.
Admittedly, she wished Drew and Adam had found that sort of bond that he shared with T.J., taking turns to push each other on the swings and sharing some quiet talk on a park bench that overlooked the water. T.J. was such a good child, and he deserved so much more. For now, if she could only give him an afternoon, she had to take solace in those memories—for Drew’s sake.
Just as promised, though, she took the boys for ice cream, allowing them both to make one huge mess with their oversized, sprinkled cones, and then made a stop at New York’s iconic toy store, FAO Schwartz, for a few more treats.
In its heyday, the bastion of childhood play served as a wonderland to all who entered the front doors, always carefully minded by two costumed toy soldiers. Life-sized stuffed animals filled the front end of the store, with an elephant and giraffe—even a cheetah—greeting them. Her own sons loved to jump on the huge floor piano that had been featured in the movie Big.
That day, however, Drew busied himself in helping T.J. select a toy.
“But you need money, Freddie,” T.J. insisted and threw his hands in the air. “Momma told me you need money for toys, and that’s why I don’t got any.”
“T.J., you don’t have to worry about that today,” Maggie bent down and covered his chubby cheeks with her gentle hands. “You can get whatever you want. This is a gift—from Freddie and me.”
“Never got a gift before, Miss Maggie,” he said.
“Well, we gotta get you one then!” Drew squealed and clapped his hands together as his joyful blue eyes looked up to Maggie. “It’s T.J.’s first gift, Mommy!”
“I know, sweetheart,” Maggie held him close to her hip and scratched her fingers through his messy hair. Little boys just didn’t care about appearances, but Drew was still her baby. “You love surprises, little man. Don’t you?”
Nodding enthusiastically, Drew grinned. “Yes, I do, Mommy!”
T.J., however, was having trouble deciding between the monkey and the rabbit. He’d put one back, only to switch them out again. And Drew looked up at his mother once again.
“T.J., why don’t you get them both?” she suggested.
A look of absolute disbelief washed over his face. He couldn’t take two! Some other child might need one of them.
“Get them, Teej!” Drew encouraged. “Mom will pay for them both!”
“But—”
Before the little boy could protest any further, Maggie took the stuffed animals herself and asked, “Anything else? Why don’t we look around for a bit?”
Little did she know that he would carry those two stuffed animals with him everywhere and into adulthood. Gifts were few and far between, and he treasured every single one he received.
As their afternoon came to a close, they walked out of the store with several shopping bags filled with games, toys and books for T.J. While they waited for the social worker, who was circling the block in her car, Maggie watched the sad good-bye unfolding between the two boys right on the sidewalk beneath a blinding sunshine.
“Thank you so much, Freddie. You’re a good friend.”
“So are you, T.J. I’m gonna miss you.”
“I see you soon?”
“Soon, T.J.,” Maggie promised. Those two little boys, however, didn’t understand that “soon” to the system meant at least six months.
“Time to go!” the social worker said as she opened the back door of her car.
“I love you, T.J. You are my best friend. You and Kat.”
“And I love you, too, Freddie. Thank you. Thank you. I love you…” he continued to repeat long after the door closed.
With her, Maggie brought some of Drew’s clothes that no longer fit. As the social worker tossed them into the trunk of her car, she hoped T.J. would have the chance to wear them. Covering her mouth with her hand, Maggie tried so hard not to cry. As Drew tugged at her purse, she pulled him close again.
“Can he come home with us yet, Mommy?” Drew asked.
She couldn’t lie to him…but she didn’t want the truth to shatter his little world. Drew had already suffered enough.
“We have to get home!” Maggie said suddenly. “Your daddy and Adam are going to wonder what happened to us!”
“Hey!” Drew grinned almost deviously as he scratched his head, then swiped the curls from his eyes as he presented his idea to Maggie. “Why don’t we send Adam to live with the Fosters people, and then T.J. can come back and take his room?”
“Now, James Andrew McKenzie…what if Adam said that about you?”
“He tells me that he wants me to leave all the time!” Drew insisted. In truth, when he was alone at night with Adam, the two brothers shared a kinship like none other. Although Adam was younger, he shed his wrathful side when it was just the two of them, and he offered Drew great comfort from the nightmares about which he refused to speak. “Please, Mommy! Then I can have Nintendo all to myself. And I’ll even let T.J. share my room—and we can make Adam’s room just a playroom for us!”
“Come along, little man,” Maggie said and took his hand.
“We can make tents—and forts!—with sheets from the bed. And we can eat chips and ice cream at night! And I can read to T.J. and teach him how. And—”
And young Drew McKenzie would have to wait twenty-five years before he truly appreciated the brother he was given—and fully have the chance to make some memories with the one who got away.
Chapter Thirty-Three
She seemed so very small, even to Drew, curled completely in the fetal position while he continued to hold her. Wounded, like a baby bird with a broken wing, she felt so fragile to the touch. Exhausted, she couldn’t manage to sleep—only to toss and turn within the confines of the bed rails and her husband’s strong arms.
“Careful, little one,” Drew whispered, ever mindful of her IV as she shifted positions.
“Home, Drew…” she muttered. “Need to go home…”
The quiet sound of her mournful plea struck him right in the gut. Maxine would have to remain in the hospital for observation for at least another day. She’d suffered a mild concussion from Randy’s torment, and Drew insisted they keep a close watch on her if he had to pay for her room and care out of pocket.
Grilled by the police then checked over by an entire sexual assault team at St. Luke’s Roosevelt Hospital, she’d suffered in such stoic silence. She conveyed the details of her attack without wavering. In fact, she fought hard to separate herself from the ugly images that flipped through her mind. She was injured, but above all, she was humiliated. No, he didn’t rape her, per se, but his actions were horrific, leaving her to deal with the aftermath as a sea of chagrin swept her within its rocky waves.
All the while, Drew had to remind himself to hold it together while she recounted the sick, sadistic details of the mere minutes she’d spent under Randy’s captivity.
Certainly, he was no cold-blooded killer, but Drew could still feel Randy’s neck in the circle of his hands. Blind rage brought him to a point of almost no return. He’d dealt with his own sexual abuse in his own way. However, seeing Maxine trapped in Randy’s barbaric hold tipped his boiling point. Drew didn’t care what people said about or did to him—but seeing Maxin
e so helpless under that son of a bitch’s ruthless brutalization left him rabid.
“Drew?”
Snuggling her closer, he could barely hear her call his name. Once they’d settled Maxine into her room and the nurse left them, presumably to allow Maxine to sleep, Drew crawled straight into bed with her. She so desperately needed to feel that closeness—and so did he.
Lips caressing the top of her head, he whispered, “Yes, my sweets?”
“Do…do you still love me…?”
Turning her toward him, Drew held her face in his hands, plundering those frightened eyes with his own sad and stormy gaze. Under any other circumstances, her question would have hurt him terribly, but he understood how sexual abuse could make a person doubt one’s self.
“I love you more right now, Maxine, than I ever have,” he said. “Oh, little one…remember when you told me that I did nothing wrong?”
“I…” She twisted her face as the tears finally started to flow, and he caught every single drop with his fingertips and lips. “I feel so dirty…filthy…he…he touched me, Drew—and now…”
“And now,” he began, “you’re still the beautiful, smart, sexy woman I married, Maxine. I won’t let him take you away from me. He’s dead—he’s gone from our lives. And we’ve still got each other.”
“So scared…”
While she attempted to bury her face between his neck and shoulder, Drew held her tight and returned her focus to his eyes. Again, they’d need time to heal, but he wasn’t about to let her run away from his undying love and concern—in just the same manner that she’d stood beside him.
“You can be scared,” he said gently. “You can be angry, too. But don’t ever feel unloved, Maxine. And don’t push me away.”
Drew knew there might be consequences on a deeper psychological level, but now wasn’t the time to discuss them. He’d even feared that she might have a relapse with her eating disorders. However, they would deal with the daily repercussions as they unfolded. Now, she simply needed to recover physically from her injuries. Randy had knocked her around. She was bruised and beaten. She needed to begin her slow journey down that road to recovery.
“What he did to you was unfathomable, little one, and you’re going to realize that it’s not a reflection of how I look at you,” he said. “Right now, you need to rest, Maxine.”
“Drew, I love you—please don’t’ doubt that…ever.”
Even though Drew hadn’t heard a word of her conversation with Randy, Maxine’s guilt over what she’d said to save her own life nearly consumed her. Her heart belonged to Drew—and only Drew.
“Never for a second do I doubt you,” he promised and gentled her head down to the pillow. “I love you.”
Very quietly, the door to her room swung open, and Drew pulled in a slow breath. There were three security guards outside, and he knew no one was getting inside without a full background check, credit report, blood test and urine sample.
With a bouquet of hydrangeas tucked under one arm and his other hand shoved into the pocket of his jeans, Ben stopped, caught himself and turned his head for just a moment. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but he couldn’t stay away.
“Jeffrey and I stopped by to feed the cats,” Ben said softly. “Nanny Fi was already there. She offered to stay—overnight—while you’re here…”
Bruised arm stretching out, Maxine whispered, “Uncle Benjy…?”
“I’m here, Cap,” he said, trying so hard to smile for her.
Seeing Judy sick in a hospital bed was one thing. Ben watched the progression of her illness, and even though it was quick, he had some time to prepare. With Maxine, this all just seemed like some surrealistic nightmare from which he couldn’t awaken. She was always so vivacious, filling the room with her larger-than-life personality. Now, looking at her battered body, she seemed a mere shell of the girl with whom he’d just celebrated the night away only two evenings ago.
“Drew, why don’t you go get some coffee or some food?” Ben suggested. “I can help the Captain here hold down Enterprise for a bit.”
That was Ben, always trying to make everyone else laugh in the depths of his own heartache.
“Hold me, Uncle Benjy?” she asked, and suddenly, Drew’s face dared to brighten with the flicker of a hopeful smile. Just her willingness to allow him to leave for a few minutes made him realize that she might have the capability to heal quicker than he initially thought.
“Well, kick your husband the hell out of that bed first!” Ben teased. “Ain’t no way Uncle Benjy gonna have a ménage à trois in this hospital room.”
As Drew stood to allow Ben room to curl up beside Maxine, he whispered in Ben’s ear, “I don’t say this enough, but you are a Godsend, Ben. And I love you…”
“Love you, too, Drew. Thanks for keeping her safe for us…”
Reluctantly, Drew stepped away, and with a nod toward Ben, he said, “I won’t be far, if you need me, little one. And I think you’re in good hands.”
In truth, Drew needed a few answers of his own. First and foremost, he had to speak with Jeffrey about the mess with Randy filing his story. Maxine couldn’t even look him in the eyes as she relayed the details to the police. So far, Drew saw nothing in his newsfeeds on his phone, but he needed to find out if Jeffrey had spoken to the Times.
He also needed to see Trevor. Now that he’d discovered his true identity, Drew had to check in—he had to know firsthand that Trevor would be alright. And Drew could easily drive himself mad with worry until he spoke to Trevor himself.
As the door clicked to a close, Ben took Maxine’s hand in his then brought it to his lips. “You will be okay, Max,” he assured her. “You’ve got a whole waiting room out there, rooting for you—ready to catch you if you stumble. Your dad should be here shortly. And Vicki’s coming in tonight.”
“Daddy…” Maxine shook her head. “How can I see him?”
“Well, there’s no way in hell that any of us can keep him away,” Ben said. “You’re his number one priority. We’re just merely Maxsitting until he arrives.”
“Ben…” She stopped and shook her head as if she’d forgotten what she wanted to say. “Why…?”
A shrug wasn’t going to cut it. Maxine needed answers, and Ben was always there with a quip or words of encouragement. Even throughout Judy’s illness and death, he always had something to say. Now, though, he struggled desperately to find the comfort his best friend needed.
Digging deep within, he plunged into his own emotions, then set them aside. He was hurting for Maxine, but he needed to offer her strength.
“He was a crazy man, Cap, and he took a vendetta that didn’t even exist too far. I hate that you were the target, but you’ve got all of us here. The Kirks, the McKenzies…hell, even us Worthingtons,” he told her as if trying to convince himself. “That’s love that stupid Randy never knew—and will never have the chance to know.”
“Thank you…thank you for the flowers, Ben,” she said, her fingertips touching the delicate petals. “And thank you for being here.”
“It’s what we do for each other, Cap. You’ve put up with me these last few weeks. You’ve helped me get that mother of mine back on track. You’ve even proven to her that I’m worthy of her love, no matter who I sleep with.” Now Ben had to turn away. Blinking against his tears, he looked out into the bright morning sunshine blazing upon the city. “I love you, Maxine. You don’t seem to realize how much you’ve done for me. We’re in this lifetime together—and forever. You’re the one person who never lets me down.”
“Uncle Benjy?” she murmured as she squeezed his hand. “Will you hold me, please?”
That was one request to which Ben could always oblige. “All day long, Captain.” Scooting closer, Ben snuggled up behind her for a familiar cuddle. “All day…”
# # #
Everyone jumped to their feet the second Drew stepped inside the waiting room. It was truly a gathering of families as they weathered this storm to
gether. Tom had just arrived, and Drew could see that he’d clearly spent the entire flight from San Francisco crying.
“Hey, she’s gonna be fine,” Drew said as Tom fell into his open embrace, sobbing openly. It was now his turn to exude strength, and he couldn’t let Tom see his own fears. “She’s a little banged up—a little scared. But we’re not gonna let her suffer for a minute longer. I promise you…”
“You are…” Tom swallowed his tears. “You are such a good man, Drew.”
“Ben’s in with her now,” Drew said. “Mom, why don’t you show Tom to her room?”
“I can do that, Drew,” Maggie said solemnly. The weight that woman carried upon her shoulders with such grace and dignity astounded Drew time and time again. She was truly his greatest inspiration. “And Trevor’s back in a private room now. The bullet did some damage to his shoulder, but he’s recovering from the surgery.”
“I’d…I’d really like to see him,” Drew managed.
“We figured you would,” Declan said. “I’ll get the nurse and see if it’s alright.”
Tom, Maggie, and Declan shuffled out the door, leaving him alone with Jeffrey, Adam and Jillian. Overwhelmed, Drew suddenly stumbled and sat back in the uncomfortable armchair for a good cry.
“You guys…I didn’t…you didn’t have to come…”
“We couldn’t stay away,” Jillian insisted. “We’re all family. Adam and I needed to be here. We love you both so much…”
“How is she, bro?” Adam asked, getting down on his knee to meet his brother face-to-face.
“It’s going to be a struggle,” Drew admitted. “But that sweet little lady is always up for a good fight.”
“And she’s always victorious, Drew,” Jeffrey reminded him.
He covered his eyes with his hand and rubbed his temples. “Don’t I know it!”
KNOTTED: The Manhattan Bound Series, Book Three Page 52
